novelraw Book 12: Chapter 61: Petty Problems
Book 12: Chapter 61: Petty Problems
Book 12: Chapter 61: Petty ProblemsWhen the cultivators from Emperor’s Bay met the caravan, it freed Sen from most of his lingering feelings of obligation. That was a relief. He’d been spending more of his time than he’d like dodging Elder He, Sun Xue, and Zhu Fen. Each of them wanted something from him, and Sen felt confident that he couldn’t actually deliver any of those things. Unfortunately, he hadn’t been able to simply leave without risking all the survivors from Tide’s Rest. He’d split the difference by scouting the surrounding area. Those missions kept the caravan at a distance, while still within reach of his spiritual sense. Sen knew that avoiding those petty problems was impractical at best and childish at worst. He could have simply ordered them to leave him alone, and he expected that they would have done it.
The truth was that he'd been avoiding them because the problems were petty. If he ignored them, nothing terrible would happen. No massacres would be triggered. No cities would fall. No armies would clash. The very worst thing that might occur was that he’d annoy a few people to whom he owed no special consideration. That would not be true when he returned to Emperor’s Bay. There would be no avoiding problems there because none of the problems waiting for him were small. Everything he did there, every choice, mattered. So, during the brief trip back, he was allowing himself the dubious pleasure of shirking unwanted social interactions.
With the cultivators on hand, though, that was all coming to an end. He could leave the caravan in hands that could protect it. That meant it was time for him to return to the city. Well, he thought, if I’m going to start being responsible again, I may as well start with the people in this caravan. He considered the order and decided to go from most irritating to least. With that in mind, he started with Zhu Fen. Rather than sneaking up on her or flying, he opted to simply walk over to where she was hovering near the wagon of street rats.
“You’ve been trying very hard to speak to me for days now,” he said. “This is your opportunity. It will be brief. Use it wisely, or it will become briefer.”
She didn’t say anything immediately, which he found refreshing. It was clear from the way her eyes moved back and forth that she was desperately sorting through thoughts. He supposed she was trying to find the right thing to ask him. Or, perhaps, it wasn’t him so much as the nascent soul cultivator. He was struck in that moment by how lucky he’d been to have the teachers he’d had. The sheer depth of their knowledge and willingness to share it had probably been the greatest boon of his life. If he’d only been given the chance to speak with Master Feng for long enough to ask one or two questions, he wasn’t sure what he would have asked. What would he have thought was the most important thing?
Zhu Fen opened her mouth, hesitated, and finally asked, “Why did Sun Xue find an inspiration, but I didn’t?”
His first instinct was to dismiss the question as foolish, but he made himself think it through. He had no idea how much she knew about inspirations or how they happened. That might actually be the most important thing she could ask him. He tried to imagine how Uncle Kho would have answered a question like that from him.
“Inspirations are the most poorly understood aspect of cultivation. Some cultivators will never experience one. I’ve probably had more than any other cultivator alive, and I suspect my understanding is only marginally better than someone who hasn’t had any. This is what I can tell you. An inspiration isn’t knowledge in the traditional sense. It’s more like an interaction. Your mind, your heart, and maybe even your soul need to connect with something in a new way that speaks to a truth. It isn’t enough to just learn something or know something.”
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When he could see the doubt on her face, he continued.“I’ll prove it to you. I’ll tell you something that is, in its own way, profound. Shadow qi does not behave like a liquid.”
“That doesn’t seem terribly profound,” said Zhu Fen slowly, confusion clear in her expression.
“I know. It’s because you don’t connect with that truth in any way. For a shadow cultivator, learning that truth, truly understanding it, is transformational. The reason it’s transformational is because every shadow cultivator makes the mistake of trying to make shadow qi behave like a liquid. Once you separate yourself from that idea, it opens up possibilities you couldn’t even consider before that moment. It allows you to see the familiar as something new all over again. So, my answer to your original question is that Sun Xue connected with something in a new way. You didn’t.”
“I see,” said Zhu Fen.
Everything from her expression to the way she held her body told Sen that she was trying to project a level of composure she didn’t really possess. He took a little pity on her.
“I know that everything in cultivation is about pushing hard to advance, but inspirations aren’t like that. You didn’t fail. There isn’t a way to set yourself up for an inspiration.”
Knowing that there was nothing else to say, he went to Sun Xue next. He expected her to have a lot of questions after receiving an inspiration. When he stood in front of her, though, she didn’t ask him anything.
Bowing low, she said, “I will do better. I will be better.”
Lifting an eyebrow, Sen asked, “Was that what your inspiration was about?”
She straightened and gave him a concerned look.
“It was. Is that wrong?”
“The heavens didn’t think so. Far be it from me to say otherwise.”
While he was absolutely convinced that the heavens would use the flimsiest excuse to drown him in divine qi, he didn’t think that applied to others. If she had an inspiration potent enough to get a dose of heavenly qi, it was probably earned.
“Thank you, Lord Lu. I wouldn’t have had that inspiration without your words.”
“Anyone can talk. You were the one who found a truth in those words,” said Sen before he gave her a sympathetic look. “It’s a hard road.”
“What’s a hard road, Lord Lu?”
“Being better. Sects don’t encourage it. The very act of cultivation is focused inward. It even requires selfishness at times. Balancing your desire to do better against the selfishness required is not an easy task.”
“How do you do it?”
“Unsuccessfully, most of the time. You can’t lead and—” he cut himself off. “Never mind. That’s my burden, not yours. I wish you luck, Sun Xue. I hope your attempts at balance are more successful than mine have been.”
He saw the troubled look on her face and felt her watching him as he walked away. He found Elder He next. The man gave him a disgruntled look, which made Sen smile.
“Elder He, how are you today?”
“I’m just wondering if you’re going to steal my juniors away.”
“I’m not,” answered Sen. “Neither of them would do well with me as their teacher.”
“Why is that?”
“I’m too harsh. They need a softer touch. My training methods might kill them.”
Sen extended a hand toward the other man, a storage ring resting on his palm.
“What is this?” asked Elder He, plucking up the ring.
“I don’t have any insights to offer you, but there are other ways to push forward. I put a few things in there that might help, although I suggest you examine the contents in private.”
“Why is that?”
“I’ve wandered deeper into the wilds than most. Some of the things that you’ll find in there are dangerous. Some are valuable. A few are both. And many cultivators would kill to have any of them. Consider it my way of thanking you for being reasonable all those years ago. I had more than enough problems at the time. I appreciate that you didn’t add another.”
“Of… Of course,” murmured a clearly stunned Elder He.
The man was staring at the ring like he couldn’t decide between burning curiosity and trepidation. Sen left the elder to his staring. Looking around, he saw some of the cultivators who had come out to meet them hovering nearby. He’d already spoken with them. So, the only reason to bother him now was to curry favor. No thanks, he thought. Launching himself into the air, he headed back to the city.