Unintended Cultivator

V13 Chapter 33 – I’ve Learned Better

Sen landed outside the palace. He was sure there were a great many things he needed to do since he was about to order generals to prepare for a new march. Unfortunately, there was at least one more headache to deal with before that. Or possibly two headaches, depending on how one looked at it. He turned to face the two nascent soul cultivators who were landing behind him. Xu Xiao Dan wore a neutral expression, while Song Lan was putting far less effort into hiding her disapproval.

“Lord Lu,” she said in a tight voice. “I don’t believe you gave that decision full consideration.”

Sen lifted an eyebrow and said, “I gave it at least as much consideration as they all did before trying to take what they wanted.”

“Can you blame them for being curious?”

“I don’t blame them for being curious. I blame them for trying to be thieves,” said Sen. “And I blame them for choosing their victims poorly.”

“But to leave them in his hands—” she started to say.

“Matriarch Song, I was under the impression that you were on, if not friendly, then civil terms with my teacher.”

“This isn’t about my relationship with him. I know him. I know what you can and cannot get away with where he’s concerned. Those disciples don’t.”

“You say that like there aren’t countless stories about him. They didn’t need to know him as you do for them to understand how foolish what they tried was, or how deadly the consequence might be. For that matter, there are more than enough stories about me for them to draw the same conclusions. I think the more interesting question here is, why do you care? They aren’t your disciples. You’re nominally in charge of them, but that’s mostly because they fear your cultivation. So, why is it that you’re here, now, second-guessing me? What is it that you want?”

Song Lan’s face contorted with rage.

“Why do I care?” she snarled. “I watched nearly my entire order die to the spirit beasts. They weren’t good deaths. They weren’t honorable deaths. They were pointless deaths! Just as pointless as the deaths will be if you turn Fate’s Razor on those foolish juniors. I’ve seen enough pointless deaths without being made your accomplice in more.”

“Accomplice?” asked Sen in a far too calm voice. “That’s a provocative word. It suggests a crime. Is that what you think I’ve done? Committed a crime by letting them suffer the consequences they’ve earned?”

Song Lan didn’t step back from him, but he got the impression that she very much wanted to do so.

“A poorly chosen word, perhaps,” conceded the woman, although it was clear she was still angry.

“Very poorly chosen. If you feel some sympathy for those fools, you are welcome to try to convince Feng Ming to show them some mercy. I won’t stop you. However, do not expect me to feel the same way. Unless you’ve already forgotten, I

was their target.”“They’re your allies,” said Song Lan, apparently looking for a more viable argument.

“Allies?” said Sen, before he let out a bitter laugh. “You can trust an ally. I don’t trust a single one of them, and I shouldn’t. Any of them from back in the capital would kill me if they thought it would benefit them in their sect or drive their cultivation forward. The only reason they’re here is that some of their seniors have recognized the threat posed by the spirit beasts. They think I’m the lesser evil, for now. The second they stop thinking that, they’ll all turn on me.

“Then there are the ones who would just kill me for revenge. Maybe I destroyed their sect, or killed one of their friends, or simply had the audacity to see them for what they are. Don’t talk to me about allies like that means anything to anyone from the sects. We’re enemies who just happen to be aligned against a bigger threat right now. Why do you think I haven’t made a point to get to know them? It’s not laziness. It’s because I know there’s a very good chance that I’m going to have to kill a lot of them when this is over.”

A case of theft: this story is not rightfully on Amazon; if you spot it, report the violation.

Song Lan stared at him for a few seconds before she asked, “Does that include the ones who gave a vow to the heavens?”

“No,” said Sen with a sigh. “I won’t have to kill them, but I don’t trust them. They swore those oaths to save their lives, not because they actually feel any loyalty to me. Those vows will prevent them from actively working against me, but that’s as far as it goes. I said I wouldn’t kill them if they gave those vows, and that’s as far as I intend to go.”

“They can’t prove themselves if you won’t give them the chance.”

“I think they proved themselves as much as necessary today, don’t you?”

“I’m not defending what they did. It was beyond stupid, but letting Feng Ming kill them will not solve anything.”

“You say that like I can stop him,” said Sen.

“You can stop him if you want to.”

“I sincerely doubt that.”

“He listens to you. He respects you. That’s more than I can say for just about any other living thing in this world.”

“Matriarch Song, I believe that you are vastly overestimating my influence with Master Feng. He is my teacher, first and foremost. Not the other way around. He might listen to me, but he will do as he sees fit. He’ll do it even if it’s directly contrary to my wishes. I also think you’re vastly overestimating my interest in helping those cultivators escape what’s coming.”

“There really isn’t anything I can say that’s going to convince you, is there?”

“Nothing comes to mind,” agreed Sen. “I don’t think I’ve made any secret of the fact that I believe that the sects have largely failed. Don’t misunderstand me. I don’t believe that cultivators should or even can be saints. It takes too much selfishness and violence to advance, survive fighting spirit beasts, and to endure tribulations. But the sects encourage traits that aren’t necessary to advancement. Arrogance. Entitlement. Condescension. On top of that, just to deal with those cultivators, I’ve had to adopt the same traits because it’s all they understand.

“When I’ve tried to approach them with kindness or with mercy, they’ve taken it as weakness. Every time. Even today, it was clear that simply not being a tyrant with them was too much kindness. So, I behave as they behave. It’s made me someone I don’t particularly like or respect. A person that I have to work very hard not to let my daughter see, because that’s not what I want to teach her. But, much like my teacher, I’ll do what I think is necessary. What isn’t necessary is for me to intervene on their behalf. They aren’t victims. They never would have tried that with elders in their own sects. And, tell me the truth, before what happened to your people, would you have been more merciful than I’m being?”

Song Lan was silent for long enough that Sen lifted an eyebrow at her.

“No,” she admitted, “but this isn’t then. I’ve learned better.”

“And, therefore, I must be better? Even if I know it will only come at the cost of future problems?”

“They can’t change if we can’t change,” she said.

It was almost a plea. He even agreed with part of what she was saying. Rank and file cultivators wouldn’t change as long as their leaders continued to reinforce their worst behaviors. The problem was that too many of those cultivators liked the system as it was. They wanted to behave the way they behaved. There was something about lording their strength over others that fulfilled some petty need inside of them. Until the old ways were shattered beyond any repair and replaced with something else, nothing was going to change. But none of that was going to happen today. Even so, he supposed he could do one thing to alleviate Song Lan’s concerns.

“It isn’t going to be a massacre,” said Sen.

“How do you know that?” she demanded.

Sen looked at Xu Xiao Dan. The man had been present at many of the strategy meetings that Sen had held with both the mortal generals and with Master Feng. He understood better than almost anyone else what Sen and his teacher’s thinking was regarding the cultivators. Taking Sen’s meaning, he looked at Song Lan.

“It’s because the war isn’t over,” said Xu Xiao Dan. “Fate’s Razor may be vengeful, but he’s not insane. Butchering a group of relatively powerful cultivators would hurt us. Or, more specifically, it would cripple our ability to win battles. As long as this war drags on, Feng Ming isn’t going to undermine our chances at victory.”

“He’ll make a few examples out of whoever he found most offensive,” said Sen, picking up the thread. “He’ll terrify the rest. I’m quite certain he intends to follow through on his threat to get more involved with their petty squabbles. But he isn’t going to massacre them.”

“Then, why make me think he would?” asked Song Lan.

“I didn’t. Not at first. After all, you followed me here. If you had stayed there, you would have seen what he intended to do with your own eyes. As for the rest, I just didn’t correct you. It struck me that it would be valuable to see what you actually thought. I also thought it would be valuable for you to understand my thinking.”

“I didn’t think you were that manipulative.”

“I didn’t use to be,” said Sen, “but I also can’t let a chance to get someone’s unvarnished opinions slip by. Even if I don’t agree with them. Maybe especially when I don’t agree with them.”

“You aren’t going to make many friends that way,” said the Matriarch, clearly still angry.

Sen gave her a wan smile and said, “No, I’m not going to make any friends that way. But I might avoid a few mistakes.”