novelraw Chapter 213: How Am I Supposed To Accept This?
Chapter 213: How Am I Supposed To Accept This?
Deniz moves through the room with quiet efficiency, the kind that comes from learning how to make order out of chaos.
He folds my shirts—still faintly scented with the mansion’s lavender—and places them into the open suitcase with careful hands. Each crease smoothed. Each edge aligned.
He’s done this before. Probably more times than I know.
The past month has blurred into a single, endless stretch of white ceilings, beeping monitors, and the soft footsteps of nurses changing IV bags.
But now... something is shifting. The walls aren’t closing in on my body anymore. Just everything else.
I stand by the bed, pulling my own clothes over my skin for the first time in weeks. The fabric feels soft—cotton, familiar... mine.
The hospital clothes were soft, expensive even—but they never felt like mine.
I breathe in the scent of my shirt. And something in my chest loosens.
I stretch slowly, arms lifting overhead, my spine cracking in quiet protest. The ache is still there—a low, persistent thrum buried deep in my bones—but I’ve grown used to it.
It stays with me now. Familiar. Unwelcome. A quiet reminder of everything my body has lost.
Deniz looks up, a soft smile touching his lips. "You look happy."
I meet his eyes.
"Of course I’m happy. I’m going home."
My gaze drifts around the room—the white walls, the steady beeping of machines, the bed that has held me for far too long.
"Staying here is horrible," I add quietly. "I don’t ever want to come back."
He crosses the room and stops in front of me, his hands settling at my waist, pulling me gently into his arms. Warmth seeps through my shirt, steady and grounding.
"I’ll take care of you," he murmurs. "So well you won’t need to come back here."
I lean into him, letting my head rest against his chest.
His heartbeat is steady beneath my ear—slow, certain, alive. For a moment, I just listen.
Then he pulls back slightly, blinking like something just crossed his mind. "I need to finish your discharge paperwork."
He presses a soft kiss to my cheek—light, fleeting—then steps away. And just like that, I miss the warmth of him.
"Wait here," he says. "I’ll finish it quickly."
He walks toward the door, his footsteps soft against the polished floor. Then he stops. Turns.
"After this, we need to visit Dr. Lee’s office."
My smile fades—like light slipping out of a room.
"No."
He blinks. "What?"
I scramble for something—anything—that sounds believable. "I mean..." I force my voice steady. "You handle the discharge paperwork. I’ll go see her myself."
A small pause.
"We’ll save time that way." I add quickly, "I just don’t want to stay here any longer than I have to."
He doesn’t answer right away. His eyes stay on my face—searching, lingering, like he’s trying to find something I’m not saying.
Something flickers there. Doubt. Or maybe concern.
Then he nods. Slowly.
"Okay."
He opens the door and steps out.
The click of it closing behind him echoes—too loud in the sudden silence. I let out a breath I didn’t realize I was holding. It leaves me slowly. Shakily.
Dr. Liea...
She’s still insisting. Still pushing. Saying I need an Alpha. Saying I need to... be with someone.
My hands curl slightly at my sides. But I won’t do it. No matter what happens. No matter what it costs.
I take a deep breath and square my shoulders.
Time to face her.
Before I can take a step toward the door, it opens.
Dr. Liea steps inside, her heels clicking softly against the polished floor—measured, precise.
I blink, caught off guard.
"Good afternoon, Mr. Kael."
I manage a small smile, though I’m not sure it reaches my eyes. "Good afternoon, Doctor. I was just coming to see you."
She tilts her head slightly, a flicker of curiosity crossing her expression.
"Is that so?"
"Yes."
She steps closer, her white coat swaying with the movement, then stops in front of me. "How are you feeling today?" she asks.
"Better." I pause, weighing the word. "The ache is still there... but I’m used to it now."
She adjusts her glasses—a familiar habit, one I’ve learned means she’s choosing her next words carefully. "Have you thought about what we discussed?"
My smile fades.
I look down at my hands—at the pale scars left by IVs, at the faint tremor in my fingers when I’m too tired to hide it.
"Doctor." My voice is quiet, but steady. "I already told you. I’m not agreeing to this. I know you’re worried about me... but I can’t."
She watches me without interrupting. Patient. Unyielding.
"If I forced myself to do something like that..." I pause, searching for words that won’t break in my mouth. "I wouldn’t be able to live with myself."
Her voice is soft— but it lands heavy. "Mr. Kael... you understand that you’re risking your life, don’t you?"
I look down again.
At my hands. At the ridges of my knuckles. At the faint lines in my palms. And the silver ring on my finger— catching the light.
I don’t answer.
The door opens. Deniz steps inside, his footsteps quiet against the polished floor. Dr. Liea glances at him.
He looks between us—just for a second—something flickering in his eyes before it’s gone. Then a soft, easy smile settles into place.
"Hello, Doctor."
She nods. "Hello, Secretary Deniz."
He moves to the suitcase by the window, lifting the handle. The wheels click softly as he straightens.
"Ready to leave?" he asks.
I nod. "Wait for me in the car. I’ll be there in a few minutes."
His gaze lingers—brief, searching—then shifts to Dr. Liea before returning to me.
He nods. "Alright."
He turns and leaves. The door closes behind him with a soft click.
Dr. Liea turns to face me fully. "Mr. Kael."
She pauses, something in her expression softening. "Your partner is a good man."
I blink, caught off guard. "How do you know?"
A faint smile touches her lips. "I guessed."
I look away, my voice quieter now. "Doctor... I’d appreciate it if you didn’t tell anyone about this."
Her expression shifts. Concern settles into the lines of her face. "Mr. Kael, I cannot risk your life. I took an oath—"
"I’m asking you." My voice cracks—just slightly. "Please. Keep this between us."
A beat. "Especially from him."
She studies me in silence, her gaze searching—probing—for something I hope she won’t find. The seconds stretch. "...As you wish," she says at last.
But she leans forward, her voice lower now—gentler, but no less firm. "Just don’t ignore it, Mr. Kael."
A pause. "Take your time. But don’t pretend it isn’t there."
My hands curl at my sides. I nod—slow, reluctant.
She straightens, smoothing the front of her coat. "Take your medication on time."
"We’ll speak again at your next session." A brief pause. "Take care of yourself."
My voice barely holds. "Thank you."
She turns and walks out. The door closes behind her with a soft click.
I stay where I am— staring at the empty space she left behind. The silence presses in. Heavy. Suffocating.
Don’t ignore it.
The words circle in my mind—restless, relentless.
But how can I?
How am I supposed to accept this?
How do I choose between staying alive... and everything I love?