To His Hell and Back

Chapter 525: Frank Words-II

Arabella closed her green eyes when she saw that for a moment Circe clearly seemed to consider her approaches and knew it was wrong. But guilt never truly settled on her face and that was enough for Arabella. She only had to say these words she had kept in her heart.

As she rubbed her forehead, she muttered, "I hope that you would know... that the people who suffer for your action isn’t just me but many more. There are names of sorcerers against Morpheus and there were endless of them, all written off as Morpheus had killed them, angry that his authority was questioned by them. There are some others who cannot bear being in this castle and killed themselves. There are many other..." she sighed, "Names."

Atlas furrowed his eyebrows as he answered on Circe’s stead. "Don’t you think it is unfair to blame her? She trusted the wrong person and in the end it was Morpheus who did what he did."

"But Circe knew Morpheus’s qualities. She can’t just feel blameless for everything," Arabella said firmly. "I can say this because I’m a victim but you," she then said, "If you know Circe well, you should have guided her too."

And only at that did Atlas seemed unable to speak anymore.

"Regardless," Arabella said before awkwardness settles far too deep and the air grew too tense for them to suddenly start arguments. "We need to think about the future."

She clenched her fists and sucked her breath, "Cassius told me that you have a plan."

"I do," Circe nodded obediently, rather quieter than before but Arabella didn’t linger on the thought of whether she had gone too far or not.

They began their discussion, the room filled with with magic that could silence anyone who tried to eavesdropped.

Even Isaac who stood outside the door couldn’t hear a single thing and he had stood outside precisely because a part of him didn’t want to know the plan as he feared that a magic could be used to him and he would spill the secret.

By the time he entered again, the air was stale and it seems Arabella was in a worse mood than before. She had stood up only to sway and Isaac rushed to help her but then Circe had did it first. With a frown, Circe muttered, "How long has it been since you skipped sleeping?"

"I don’t remember."

"Well you’re swaying," Circe said with a frown, "At this point you’re going to deliver yourself to the grave-"

"I would rather deliver myself quickly to the grave than think about whether Cassius is still alive or not!"

The scream she had let out rang in the room and Circe found herself startled, just like Atlas. They exchanged glances as they finally understood that Arabella hadn’t only lost her cool from lack of sleep or anger and frustration. She wasn’t only on edge...

"The crack of your powers are showing. It’s hurting you isn’t it?" Circe guessed but Arabella was stubborn, refusing to admit it.

"It’s just a headache."

"A splitting headache it must be."

"I wouldn’t have this headache if it isn’t caused by someone," Arabella pushed Circe aside. For some reason she couldn’t feel calm at all. Something inside her heart feels as if it was torn. She was so uneasy she could go crazy. Not being able to see Cassius make her even more on edge, and forcing her to feel calm only did the opposite.

She felt anger bubbling inside her but couldn’t direct it straight to Morpheus. She had vent it to Circe and Atlas but still, she couldn’t feel her heart growing lighter, instead she only felt it turn heavier, burdened.

"I should be fine," Arabella staggered slowly and only raised her hand when Isaac tried to help her. "And I hope that this time you two don’t mess up anymore. We only have one chance..."

"Wait."

Arabella who had almost reached the door stopped. Not out of obedience or guilt but because she wanted to know what Circe still had to say.

"Cassius would be worried if he knows of your current situation."

"I don’t even know whether he’s alive or not. He might be dead right now while I’m here," she pointed out. "Maybe you would know how worse that feels."

"I do..." Circe quieted down. It was clumsy. The way she tried to worry for Arabella resemble a failed mother and Arabella could see that she tried. This should have made her feel sympathetic but she couldn’t.

Something was odd with her emotion. A part was numb other was furious. She even knew she acted strange but couldn’t help it herself.

"I can return all your lost memories..." Circe said at once, "Maybe that would help you with the headache. Accumulating all your stress would only harm you in the long process."

Arabella looked at Circe’s face and for a moment she whispered bitterly, "And you would not do the opposite by somehow erasing a part of my memories."

Unable to hold it back anymore, Atlas spoke up, "Circe would never. She... might have done a lot of things that are bad to you-"

"She did."

Atlas sighed, "My point is that Circe doesn’t do it directly to you. All this time she had been watching over you, she really does care for you."

"But trust cannot just be said with words, she and I both understand that," Circe raised her hand stopping Atlas and pulled him closer before whispering, "While I fix her memories, I need to patch the crack in her power. I’m afraid that..."

"Afraid that?" Atlas continued.

"I didn’t expect it but all witches with too much power tends to feel numb in their heart. Their power are compensated by their humanly emotion. The stronger one becomes, the lack of emotions they will have," Circe rubbed her head, "I thought it wouldn’t affect Arabella but it seems without Cassius by her side, her trust in humanity and fate broke, and maybe that’s why her heart could easily be blackened by her own power."

"So by patching the cracks in her power... she would return back to normal?"

"Normal I don’t know. Emotions that are gone could never be returned." Circe said and Atlas looked at Arabella with a sense of loss. Though they don’t say it out loud, Arabella felt like their own children. After all, a part of her was from Circe. "But it should at least calm her down a little."

"Let’s best do it now," Arabella spoke up, seeing that they have gone to whisper, "I should made you swore an oath towards me."

"I can do that willingly," Circe raised a hand a parchment scroll appeared. With her hands she signed and sent the scroll flying right in front of Arabella who briefly went over the paragraph before signing it down. "All done? You can sleep over the bed and close your eyes."

Isaac warily didn’t let her hands go but after she had tapped his finger, he reluctantly did.

When she reached the bed and slept on it the way she would if she had entered a corpse, Arabella caught the sight of Circe again.

Before she closed her eyes, she muttered, "Do you know who is the woman who goes by the name Jullie?"

Circe’s raised hand stalled, "I don’t know."

It wasn’t a lie.

"But I might know if you knew her last name."

"Then have you seen Morpheus in love?"

Circe gave a thoughtful silence before shaking her head, "Didn’t he was in love with me?"

"I think his love for you was more of a love one would have toward a mother though he doesn’t seem to know that. Then I guessed that he really did fell for someone."

That was strange, thought Circe.

"How are you sure that his love towards me is just a love one would have toward a mother? He was obsessive."

"See you don’t know the difference," Arabella inhaled. "He did want to make sure that you stayed in the castle but that’s not out of love, just because he feared losing one person who he thought would acknowledge him. He was desperate though that’s not an excuse for what he done."

"You speak oddly knowing," Circe frowned and she nodded.

"Because do you know that there is not a single picture of you in this castle that spoke about you in a gaze a male would have toward the woman they desire? He speak and sees you in admiration. I know this because I have seen the way he looked to another woman. There is lust in it."

Circe was taken aback, "So you’re saying that Morpheus loved someone.... and this person’s name is Jullie?"

Arabella reached out to her hand and pulled out a brooch. She placed it on Circe’s hands, "I tricked Esme into opening an odd door. I thought it would have a door to Hell considering how tightly it was shut. But then all I found was just a trace of women clothing all over the place, hidden so securely and a brooch. Esme protected the place without knowing that it’s the room that once belonged to the woman Morpheus had loved... the woman who is also her rival."

When Circe moved the brooch, she saw the inscription saying, "Jullie."

"But now he wants you."

"And he still doesn’t look at me with lust," Arabella chuckled as if relieved, like she would stab Morpheus’s eyes if she actually saw how the man sees her with anything close to sexual desire. "I have seen Jullie’s face before... I’m sure. I just forgot. So now I want you to return that memory to me first."

Circe looked at the brooch and then at her. Maybe it was guilt but Arabella could see how the man’s face now showing a look of a thoughtful apology.

"I’ll do my best to do so."

Arabella closed her eyes, "Thank you."