The Villain’s Ending

Chapter 103

Afterimage (14)

Seraphina's face lost all color upon seeing Count Beluze.

She clutched my hand even tighter, almost instinctively.

The delicate trembling of her fingers was fully conveyed to my palm.

"Why did you come?"

Seraphina asked.

Her voice was parched.

"Does a father need a reason to visit his daughter?"

The Count replied.

At his words, Seraphina's shoulders flinched.She raised her head and met the Count's gaze.

"You disowned me from the family."

"I disowned you from the family, but I never said you weren't my daughter."

Count Beluze remained expressionless.

I felt nothing but discomfort in this situation.

If it had been anyone else, I would have discreetly pulled my hand away and fled to my room.

But seeing Seraphina, holding my hand and trembling slightly, I couldn't possibly do that.

As Count Beluze continued to stand motionlessly in front of the room, Seraphina eventually sighed, as if giving up.

She let go of my hand and approached the door.

With a click, the door opened.

"What are you doing? Come in."

Seraphina said.

She stepped into the room and looked back at us.

Count Beluze silently entered the room.

Then he looked back at me.

His gaze seemed to tell me to come in as well.

I let out a short sigh and followed him into the room.

"The room isn't very big, is it?"

Count Beluze said, looking around the room.

His voice echoed softly in the narrow space.

Seraphina took teacups from a small cupboard.

She created hot water in the air with a spell, filled the teapot, and replied.

"I had to move rooms to continue attending the academy."

Her voice was calm.

There were only two old chairs to sit on.

I sat on the edge of Seraphina's bed.

The springs creaked.

Count Beluze then glared slightly at me.

He didn't bother saying anything specific.

Because if he spoke, it felt like he would only sneer.

Seraphina placed three cups on the small table and began pouring tea from the teapot.

Only the sound of the light brown tea filling the cups broke the silence in the room.

Count Beluze picked up a teacup, lightly wet his lips, and then spoke.

"Are you truly not going to break off your engagement with this scoundrel? Last time, you clearly said you wanted to."

Seraphina, sitting opposite Count Beluze, set down her teacup and replied.

"No, I'm not."

"Why?"

"It would be a lie to say my heart hasn't wavered, but no matter what others say, I've realized that without Lavin… I can't live."

Seraphina's voice was unwavering.

Count Beluze glared at me once more.

As if everything was my fault.

It might all be my fault, but I didn't want to be blamed.

Because I'm quite a selfish and foolish person.

"Seraphina, if you live with that man, you probably won't live the life of an ordinarily happy woman."

The Count said.

"If it's about appearances, I'll do my best to find you a good man."

Seraphina looked at her father, who uttered such words, as if she couldn't understand him.

And Count Beluze also looked at his daughter, who showed such a reaction, as if he couldn't understand her.

Both of them looked incredibly sad.

Given that I was the cause of the problem, I wasn't particularly cheerful either.

Count Beluze looked at me, then spoke to Seraphina.

"Do you truly love that man?

Not his face, not the time you've spent together, but do you love only him?"

"I don't love only Lavin."

Seraphina replied.

"I love his universally liked face, the time we've built together since childhood, his trivial habits only I know, and even his countless flaws."

Count Beluze let out a long sigh at that answer.

"If only I hadn't said I'd disown you, I would have forcibly separated you."

He muttered to himself.

"How will you live from now on?

I won't let you back into the family.

Even if we could understand and accept you, you burned not only the mansion but also the farmers' wheat fields."

Hearing those words, Seraphina looked at the floor, idly scratching it with her toe.

Then she sighed and replied.

"I suppose… I'll probably live with Lavin."

"Still, it will just be the two of you, won't it? When will you get married?"

Seraphina didn't answer, instead giving a somewhat troubled smile.

Then Count Beluze turned his head and glared at me again.

He looked as if he was about to twist my jaw.

The Count's hand, holding the teacup, trembled, and his face flushed slightly.

"Lavin… charmed the Saintess."

Seraphina said.

Her voice was calm.

Count Beluze didn't question her after hearing those words.

Whether he thought it was true, or if he just considered it nonsense and pitied Seraphina too much to speak, I couldn't tell.

He saw Seraphina speaking with a certain pitifulness, and his nose and eyes reddened before he approached her and asked.

"My child, may I hug you?"

Seraphina nodded.

Count Beluze approached and embraced her tightly.

He patted his daughter's back, repeatedly comforting her with words like, "It'll all be alright," and "How did you end up falling for a guy like that?"

After that, once the atmosphere had somewhat eased, Seraphina cautiously asked Count Beluze.

"What… happened to the house?"

"I sold one of the villas by the beach. There's nothing much to worry about."

"I'm sorry."

"You have nothing to be sorry for."

Watching them reconcile so naturally, I felt an awkward and uncomfortable sensation.

It was as if I alone was standing in a different place.

"Your speech… isn't stuttering when you're with your father."

I blurted out.

Seraphina and the Count both looked back at me simultaneously.

I didn't know what expression Seraphina was giving me.

When she's with me, she's not herself.

That pretty child, loved and raised so well, became like that after associating with me.

There were times I blamed my surroundings, thinking Seraphina, Estelle, and Levina were the problem, not me, but now I can't even do that.

Because blaming someone you love is an awful thing to do.

It really does seem like I'm the problem.

How should someone who doesn't want to be a problem act?

I forced a smile and said.

"It's a relief you don't have to break off the engagement."

And I also said to Count Beluze.

"Thank you. Though, I imagine you don't wish to exchange many words with me."

Even though he still had a look on his face as if he wanted to beat me to death.

"This must be a long-awaited reunion with your beloved daughter, so I will excuse myself."

I got up from my seat.

I heard Seraphina saying something from behind, but I deliberately ignored it and left the room.

As soon as the door closed, I started running down the hallway.

As soon as I entered my room, I stuck a cigarette in my mouth and lit it.

I nervously inhaled the smoke deeply.

It felt as though it was burning deep within my lungs.

I had thought Count Beluze and Seraphina would fight so bitterly that they would be estranged forever and never see each other again.

Somehow, naturally, I thought that was how it would go.

Because the human relationships I knew were all about trying to superficially mend already rotten ones until the facade fell away, revealing the ugliness, leading to mutual blame and never meeting again.

'We'll never live a proper life.'

Levina's voice brushed past my ears.

'Someone like you shouldn't grow up with other people.

Think of the child who will grow up by your hand, think of the people who associate with you.

The closer they get to you, the more they'll change to be like you or me.'

Levina's hallucination, saying the same things, brushed past.

I found myself hideous and despicable.

I was so envious and jealous that Seraphina had achieved a smooth relationship with her father, had a normal conversation, and even had her love acknowledged.

Because I was always more like someone who took things from Seraphina rather than someone who could give her anything.

I want to give Seraphina love too.

Not just love in words or in body, but there's so much more I want to do… but there's not much I can do.

My excuse would probably just be that the world is about to be destroyed by Demons and that I've already died countless times; even if I brought them up, I'd be lucky not to be locked away in a mental asylum.

How could I trust myself?

I roughly snuffed out the cigarette I was smoking against the wall.

A black mark was left on the wallpaper.

If I had been in that position, not 'Lavin'.

If my mother, if my father had been like that.

If at least my mother were still alive.

It's a ridiculous thought, but my mind kept spiraling off in strange directions.

Diligently trying to erase those meaningless thoughts, I went to find Levina, who was probably holed up in the student council office, poring over documents.

It was one of the things I had to do anyway to survive.

It was something that had to be done regardless.

There was no need to do it right now, and it would only distress Levina, but Levina could afford to suffer a little.

I opened the student council office door and stepped inside.

Levina was buried under piles of documents.

"Only the two of us can understand, and since we grew up under such parents, we'll live like this forever, you said."

I said.

Levina looked up from her documents and gazed at me.

"…Cigarette smell. No. Did you take drugs?"

"I wish I had."

"Why did you suddenly show up out of nowhere and start talking nonsense?"

I approached her and slapped her cheek.

"Shut up and listen to me."

Levina stared up at me blankly, her face dazed.

I put on the same smile Levina used to give me when she looked at me, and said.

"I denied it then, but now… I think I have no choice but to accept it."

"Wh-what are you suddenly talking about…?"

"So, kill the Duchess right now.

Whether you go and twist her neck yourself, slit her throat with a piece of glass, or beat her to death, just kill her.

Then I'll love you. I'll love you, I promise.

It won't be proper love, as you said we never learned how to love, but still."

"You came all this way to tell me… to kill my own mother?"

"Yes, because you can do it. And because if I tell you to, you will."

I grabbed her arm and forced her up.

Levina, still looking bewildered, slowly approached me, placed a hand on my shoulder, and gazed into my eyes.

"I'm not sure what 'proper love' means. Love is just love, isn't it?"

Her voice was strangely calm.

Her answer made me feel like I was going crazy, but I forced myself to hold it together and smile.

This time, things are going better than last time, and they'll continue to go better than last time.

And I'll do better next time, and even better the time after… I don't know how long I have to keep doing better, but I just need to do better.

Because the more time passes, the better the future will be.

Life is a process of getting better and progressing, isn't it?

I must be moving linearly towards a better direction.

Even if I'm just running on a hamster wheel in the same stretch of time.

"I don't know why you're suddenly like this, but just calm down for a bit.

It's a bit scary when you look at me with such bloodshot eyes."

Levina said, rubbing her slapped cheek as if it hurt.

"Were there things that scared you too?"

"I have plenty of fears myself."

Levina replied.

She huddled her legs, trembling slightly.

"Just tell me why you're suddenly acting like this."

"It's just… I think I'm the kind of person you described.

A trashy insect like you said, the son of a disgusting whore, an illegitimate child who doesn't know his place, and all I can do is trashy things. So I thought I should at least do this."

I am not that kind of person.

I am someone Seraphina loves, and Estelle loves.

I had to become someone worthy of love.

Not the trash I just described.

Just because my head aches a bit and strange thoughts come to mind, I can't give up and go around acting like a fool again.

For the sake of others, if not for myself.

What can I do for myself?

But in front of Levina, I guess I have to be that kind of person.

In front of Levina, I am not myself.

Continuing my words, I took a breath.

"So,"

I slapped her cheek one more time.

"Stop, making excuses,"

I slapped her cheek one more time.

My slapping hand was stinging even more, and in a fit of irritation, I firmly grabbed Levina's face.

"Just shut up and do as you're told."

Then I pushed Levina's head, who was trying to retreat with a tearful expression, and slapped her stumbling cheek once more.

Levina clutched her slapped cheek and began to sob, stifling her cries.

However, her eyes shone strangely.

Levina, fallen and looking up at me, quietly asked.

"What if I don't?"

"Death."

"Dying by your hand isn't particularly scary."

"I'm saying I will die."

We, who did not know how to love, looked at each other.