The Vampire & Her Witch

Chapter 1042: Eleanor’s Crisis of Faith (Part Two)

"The Church isn’t what I want it to be," she forced herself to admit. The Church wasn’t pure or perfect. The people wielding its power were just as deeply flawed as ordinary men, but those flaws didn’t seem to matter to the Holy Lord of Light.

"As long as a person believes," she realized. "The Holy Lord of Light will answer their prayers. The power itself is a test... a part of their struggle. He doesn’t stop men like Percivus from misusing it, but He will surely judge him for what he’s done as he heads toward the next life..."

It was a profound, horrifying revelation, and one that flew in the face of everything the Church had taught her so far, but as she examined everything that had happened so far, Eleanor couldn’t think of any other answer that made sense.

After all, the alternative was that Percivus had been influenced by demons and was using their power in the middle of the Church, for years, decades even, without ever being caught.

It would be convenient if that were true. If she could blame all the failings of man on demons, and all the wickedness that infected the Church as the result of some dark influence... But as she sat in the cold of her cell, resting on a bed that had been stripped of its bedding by a young acolyte who was behaving as violently and maliciously as the man who was teaching him, she had to admit that it was unlikely that demons were responsible for his viciousness. Instead, it was simple, ordinary human cruelty, passed on from teacher to student, in a cycle that would never end until someone found a way to break it.

"Someone... but not me," she said as she clutched the scrap of gold and red fabric that she’d hidden beneath her shift.

Slowly, in the cold and dark of her cell, Eleanor was piecing back together the pieces of herself that Percivus attempted to shatter. At the same time, she was examining each and every part of herself and discarding the ones that were too badly damaged by uncomfortable truths to hold on to.

The Church was one of the things she forced herself to put aside. She was still a Confessor. Nothing, not even Percivus and Holy Flames large enough to consume the entire manor, could strip that away from her. But she didn’t need to remain within the confining, cracked, and corrupted walls of the Church to continue her service as a confessor.

Instead, she thought of the days she’d spent with Lady Jocelynn... If ever there had been a lost and broken woman in need of a Confessor’s help to find her way back to the light, then surely the woman who had betrayed her own sister out of petty jealousy was the one.

Over the past several months, Eleanor had watched Jocelynn transforming herself from a naive woman who would give anything to win the affections of an unworthy suitor into a woman who was fighting back against the very darkness that seemed to consume so many people in positions of power.

And so, rather than cling to a hope that she could return to the safety of the Church when this all ended, Eleanor began to nurture an entirely different hope... a hope that she could leave the Church behind to remain at Lady Jocelynn’s side. Not quite as a Confessor, but not as a simple Lady-in-waiting either.

But if she could continue to support and guide Lady Jocelynn in the days and years to come... she was certain that, whatever they chose to call her position, it would be one worth dedicating the remainder of her life to.

She just had to hold on long enough to find a way out of the trap she was in, and then, both she and Lady Jocelynn could find their new ways forward. Or so she’d hoped. But by the time the fourth, or fifth day of her agonizing confinement rolled around, she had begun to despair that no matter how strong her faith was, nor how fierce her determination had become, her body would no longer be able to endure the strain of Percivus’s treatment.

"You gain nothing from refusing to eat, Eleanor," Percivus said, glaring at the stubborn noblewoman and the untouched, moldy crust of bread sitting next to her on the bare wooden cot. "Just like you gain nothing from holding back the names I need. There’s still time, you know. This could all be over soon..."

"Th-there is n-nothing for y-you to g-gain from my w-words, B-brother P-p-percivus," Eleanor said through chattering teeth as she struggled just to sit up straight with some semblance of dignity in the presence of the Inquisitor who no longer seemed content to wait for simple neglect and the occasional attention of his lackeys to break her will.

"I wouldn’t say that, Eleanor," Percivus said with an empty smile on his lips that never reached his hardened hazel eyes. "Today, I came to give you news," he said as his acolytes set out his chair and small wooden table.

"Sir Gilander visited the Summer Villa recently to check on your cousin, Lady Ashlynn. It seems that your demon allies have become even more bold this winter," he said calmly as he took his seat and began unpacking a meal so fresh from the kitchens that it was still piping hot, releasing a cloud of fragrant steam into the small dungeon cell.

"Y-you k-know I have n-nothing to d-do with d-demons," Eleanor insisted, more to reaffirm the fact in her own mind than to argue with the Inquisitor. After all, she knew it was pointless to deny his accusations, but she was afraid that if she let him repeat them without denying them, then one day, she might start to believe the lies he constantly repeated were true.

"I doubt that, Eleanor," Percivus said, shaking his head in disappointment. "I just came to see how you would react when you learned that the demons took your cousin, along with all the servants of the Villa. Tell me, Eleanor," he said as he leaned forward to watch her every motion. "Are you relieved that they’ve rescued your cousin? Or worried that she’s become caught up in your schemes?"