The System is Abstract, Luckily, So Am I

Chapter 190 : Sadness Flows Like a River

Actually, making it look like this was part of Lin Li's plan. The current situation was all calculated by him.

Mhm.

Fuck, damn it, even Lin Li himself doesn't believe this bullshit.

Bro, seriously?

Can you take the message back?

Looking at the system notification, Lin Li's expression was complicated. He was a bit happy, but it was impossible to be completely happy.

System tasks shouldn't be completed this way...

"Sigh, Little Qiuqiu, I can tell you seem to genuinely admire me from the bottom of your heart." Looking down at Qu Wanqiu, who was laughing so hard she was slumped over the table, Lin Li's tone was cool.

His voice was flat, sounding a bit like he had lost the will to live.

"Of course, of course I genuinely admire you from the bottom of my heart, Lin Li, ha, haha. You guys probably haven't been in the kitchen much, so you might not understand. To be able to turn fruit into this, how much skill does it take, haha—Is this considered carbonization? Hahaha—"

Qu Wanqiu kept laughing, unable to stop.

After giving Lin Li a thumbs up, she turned to explain to Ding Sihan and the others.

Lin Li sighed. Since he had already lost face, he might as well maximize the use of this lost face. So he took back his coal tangerine, squeezed it in front of the remaining three, and said triumphantly: "How about it? Impressive, right?"

"Impressive." The other three were also laughing.

But this task seemed to be working against him. When he deliberately tried to plant flowers, they refused to bloom. When he took the initiative, the task didn't react at all.

Another day, I'll pee on these flowers, and then they'll behave.

Today's grudge, Lin Li will definitely avenge yesterday.

However, since the praise failed, it was time to pick up the face he had thrown away after using it. The words "give up" were not in Lin Li's Oxford Dictionary—

"Hehe, you will regret your mockery now." So facing the pointing fingers of everyone, he just glared coldly. "I will definitely make a perfect candied fruit!"

Qu Wanqiu reached out worriedly, seemingly wanting to stop him, then relaxed a bit and said in relief: "The first aid equipment in the homestay is also very complete. Forget it, go ahead."

Not good! It's a boomerang!

These were the exact words I used to attack her earlier!

Damn Little Qiuqiu.

"How about you devein the shrimp, and I'll go make the candied fruit," Bai Bufan, who was shelling and deveining the shrimp they bought, said seriously. "I think I can do it better than you."

Lin Li walked over, smiled, plucked a hair from his own head, and without saying a word, just used the hair to tickle Bai Bufan's face.

Bai Bufan: "..."

"A shrimp-headed guy (xia tou nan) like you is really suitable for removing shrimp heads." Bai Bufan wasn't Ding Sihan. He didn't need Lin Li to state his purpose, so he commented while rubbing his nose with his shoulder.

(Translator's Note: "Xia tou nan" is internet slang for a creepy/disgusting man, literally translating to "shrimp-headed man").

"It's precisely because I'm a shrimp-headed guy that I can't kill my own kind. Keep up the good work, poop-playing boy," Lin Li said lightly.

Bai Bufan: "?"

"What poop-playing boy?"

Lin Li chuckled softly and walked away.

Wait. Bai Bufan looked down. His action of pulling out the shrimp veins did indeed seem like playing with poop.

"You motherfucker!"

...

"I didn't expect Baidu to be useless not only for medical advice but also for recipes."

Lin Li's preparation didn't require any kitchen equipment, so he didn't actually need to be in the kitchen. A power outlet was enough. At this moment, he was outside muttering to himself.

Slight physical discomfort + Baidu = Prepare for cremation.

Lin Li + Baidu = Candied coal.

So this damn Baidu was really dangerous.

"Looks like I should just honestly follow the basic operations and stop trying to be fancy." Lin Li sighed, put down the guide that supposedly made the most delicious candied fruit, and started following the most basic guide step by step.

Before you learn to walk, don't try to run.

Stirring the syrup with a spatula, Lin Li waited for it to reach the right consistency.

The system had work for him.

[Studying abroad, the path to improving mecha piloting skills is fraught with countless hardships. Being far from home, the three girls traveling with you feel sorrow welling up in their hearts. At this moment, it finally erupts, and they begin to weep silently.

You are at a loss, but as the only male in this world, perhaps the only way to make them temporarily forget their troubles and regain joy is through a robust physical body!]

[Task Triggered!]

[Task Six: Use physical contact and union to make the girls feel joy.]

[Task Rewards: Physique Improvement: Mecha Synchronization Index +10; Random Talent; System Currency  50]

Lin Li: "?"

It wasn't until his syrup started bubbling gulu gulu that Lin Li snapped back to reality.

Bro, seriously?

Another one?

This task also had the familiar progress bar.

But that wasn't the point. The point was, why were they crying?

Feeling a bit concerned, Lin Li immediately unplugged the pot and returned to the kitchen.

Chen Yuying and Ding Sihan's eyes were red. Although tears were shimmering in them, they firmly held them back from falling. Their trembling eyelashes seemed ready to carry away their sorrow.

They were clearly facing the door, but they turned their heads away.

It seemed they didn't want Lin Li to see them crying.

Lin Li should have asked what happened.

But he had already fucking seen the onions they were chopping.

Turning their heads wasn't because they didn't want to see him, but to avoid contact with the volatile substances from the onions as much as possible.

"What's wrong? Is the coal ready again?" Wiping her tears with her arm, Chen Yuying saw Lin Li return and asked curiously.

Lin Li: "..."

System, why don't you open your fucking dog eyes and take a look?

Where is the sorrow welling up from the heart? From the onion's heart?

But Lin Li had to admit one thing: at this moment, he was feeling a bit of sorrow welling up in his heart.

What kind of bullshit task is this? Bringing joy through physical contact and union?

And the rewards are so pitiful, just a talent. If there was an option to abandon the task, I would probably abandon it.

"Nothing, I just came back to see if I could find an opportunity to use my body to bring you joy." Facing Chen Yuying's question, Lin Li once again coolly stated the truth.

Chen Yuying, Ding Sihan: "?"

But since it was Lin Li, this kind of perverted remark was actually normal.

It's unrealistic for the system to expect me to use 'that' and 'that', but if it's just physical contact and union, can tickling complete this task?

Lin Li walked up to the three girls and took a look.

None of them were wearing crop tops. Tickling them through their clothes definitely wouldn't be judged as physical contact by the system.

Lin Li looked down. Because Chen Yuying and Qu Wanqiu were wearing sandals, they were barefoot.

Ding Sihan was wearing pure white socks. Lin Li suspected she was gay and liked boys.

"Aren't you making your candied fruit?" Seeing Lin Li walk over, Chen Yuying squeezed her eyes shut tightly to clear her blurry vision and asked.

"I can't stand seeing girls cry. Class Rep, Ding Sihan, leave chopping the onions to me." He had to find an excuse for coming back, so Lin Li just said that.

Right now, both Chen Yuying and Qu Wanqiu were standing. It was unrealistic to ask them to lift their feet for him to tickle, so he could only look for an opportunity later.

Don't cry anymore and trigger another task.

"Alright, I've cried enough anyway." Ding Sihan carefully placed the knife on the table and handed over the onion without any politeness.

"Okay, then be careful," Chen Yuying was more polite.

...

"Bufan, do you think looking up at the sky at a forty-five-degree angle can stop tears from falling?" Lin Li's eyes were red, mourning the passing of spring and autumn: "Life is truly fleeting."

"I, sob, don't sniff, know, sob."

Perhaps out of empathy, or perhaps because that bitch Lin Li moved the cutting board and onion right in front of Bai Bufan to chop, practically using his face as the cutting board, Bai Bufan was crying even harder than Lin Li. Snot and tears were flowing freely, and he sniffled three times just to say four words.

"Can you sniff chop the onions somewhere else? Lin Li." Finally, Bai Bufan, having cried enough, couldn't bear it anymore.

When choosing how to chop the onions, between the easiest and the most laborious options, Lin Li chose the one that would generate the most comments.

"No, everyone is crying. If you don't cry, you'll seem very out of place." Lin Li, afraid the onion juice wouldn't splash onto Bai Bufan's face, chopped with such force that it was like a silver vase suddenly breaking and water bursting out. The thud, thud, thud sound made Bai Bufan's head buzz.

"My nose is itching and my eyes are itching right now, but my gloves are covered in poop. Do you know what I'm thinking right now?" Bai Bufan felt prickly all over, gritting his teeth.

"Of course you're thinking that the four of us should hurry up and leave the kitchen so you can gorge yourself on these shrimp veins, slurping them up like noodles, then burp, happily pat your belly, and say, 'Wow, this poop is so delicious.'" Lin Li answered rapidly.

A long, complex sentence, but not a confession, it was slander.

Bai Bufan: "?"

"You motherfucker—"

Fragrant words filled the air.

And so, in the kitchen, Bai Bufan cried and cursed, and Lin Li was cursed to tears.

The touching conversation between the two made the eyes of the other three girls in the kitchen red—Lin Li was chopping too forcefully, and it was really spreading everywhere. Even Qu Wanqiu wasn't spared.

However, the corners of their mouths were constantly turned up.

Letting Lin Li bring Bai Bufan was truly the right decision.

These two could completely achieve the magical effect of 1+1 being greater than 0.

Scattered, they are a sky full of farts; gathered, they are a pile of dung.

(End of Chapter)