The System is Abstract, Luckily, So Am I

Chapter 177 : FBI Warning: Diabetics Enter with Caution

It could only be said that the effect of making an example out of someone was indeed immediate.

After Zhang Wei was reported, the following subject, Technology, was also one where cheating could yield high returns, but the exam room was exceptionally well-behaved.

Lin Li could even sense that many people, while taking the exam, would suddenly turn their heads to look at him.

—He had accidentally gone from being an examinee to an invigilator.

...

After the afternoon exams were over and he had dinner off-campus, Lin Li returned to the classroom.

During exam week, there were truly people memorizing books everywhere. Almost every stairwell corner had someone squatting there.

Unfortunately, Lin Li, who had the Photographic Memory cheat enabled, already had a pitifully thick barrier between him and them.

Isn't memorizing just looking at it once?

"Wei, Jin, Southern and Northern Dynasties, absurd and beautiful. Men were steamed, women were stir-fried, and children were skewered for BBQ." In the hallway outside Class 4, Bai Bufan and Zhou Baowei were sitting on Lin Li's desk, memorizing their books.

Studying themselves crazy again.

"Baowei, how did you do on the exams today?" Lin Li didn't mind. He pulled his chair out, sat down, and asked politely.

Zhou Baowei sneered: "It's just a measly monthly exam, what am I afraid of?"

So confident? Lin Li was just about to start mocking him.

"Whatever I'm afraid of, that's what's on the exam."

"It's really fucking dogshit."

Lin Li: "..."

So you mean whatever you're afraid of is what gets tested? Then I guess there's no need to mock you.

"Fuck, Politics today was the most ridiculous. Why didn't they test anything I memorized?!" Zhou Baowei hadn't finished complaining and said with immense resentment.

Hearing this, Lin Li frowned. Most of the short-answer questions on today's Politics exam didn't require analyzing the provided materials; you just had to recite the answers directly. The topics tested were also quite "popular," so it shouldn't be that he didn't memorize any of them.

Thinking of a possibility, Lin Li narrowed his eyes: "Baowei, what did you memorize?"

"I didn't memorize anything," Zhou Baowei answered instantly.

"You motherfucker!"

Lin Li punched Baowei right in the thigh.

After one punch, he got a bit addicted. Lin Li started throwing continuous power punches, and even looked at Bai Bufan: "Bufan, handmade, hand-pounded pork meatballs, want a bowl?"

"Give me a pound."

Zhou Baowei gave Lin Li the middle finger, but he didn't stop Lin Li's pummeling. Instead, he asked with interest, "Lin Li, you have a natural talent for massage. This pounding actually feels pretty good. How about you pound my legs every day? I'll give you 20 bucks a month."

"Am I, Lin Li, that cheap? Add a zero and we'll talk," Lin Li sneered.

"Deal, 20 bucks for 10 months," Zhou Baowei nodded, smiling with gratification. It had been a long time since he had seen an employee so considerate of their boss.

Lin Li: "?"

Lin Li's eyes widened, but he looked at Bai Bufan with a tragic expression:

"Bufan, it's over. Baowei has evolved. He's no longer the ugly, stupid, laughable, pitiful, useless Baowei who gets kicked around like a ball and doesn't fight back. He's now the ugly, stupid, laughable, pitiful, useless Baowei who gets kicked around like a ball and occasionally fights back."

Hearing this, Bai Bufan burst into tears: "What?! Alas! How tragic!"

"There's no need to emphasize all those adjectives twice, fuck! You two sons of bitches!" Now it was Zhou Baowei's turn to massage Lin Li.

"Zero? I just heard someone say zero. Where's the zero?" Wang Ze's head popped out of the classroom window, asking expectantly.

(Translator's Note: "Zero" is slang for a bottom in a gay relationship).

Then he received the stares of three people looking at him like he was an idiot.

"Okay, looks like there's no zero. But that's okay, I can become a zero," Wang Ze stuck his head out even further, stared at Zhou Baowei's crotch, and said sincerely, "Baowei, why do you have the key to my back door?"

The hallway fell silent for a second.

Everyone was thinking.

"Fuck!!!"

Zhou Baowei covered his crotch and scrambled off Lin Li's desk, looking terrified. Meanwhile, Lin Li and Bai Bufan laughed loudly, clapped, and gave Wang Ze a thumbs up: "Fresh and good, you win."

"Hehe," Wang Ze scratched his head. "So, is anyone coming to open the door?"

"Get lost."

Evening self-study was about to start. Lin Li chased Bai Bufan off and moved his desk back into the classroom—the lighting in the hallway was too dim, and more importantly, the teachers didn't allow it.

Since Lin Li didn't really need to memorize anything, his evening self-study was mainly spent studying Chemistry problems.

"OK, I get it now." During the break, after listening to Chen Yuying's analysis by her desk, Lin Li nodded and snapped his fingers.

"How did you do on the exams these past two days? Confident about getting into the top 100?" Chen Yuying looked up at the tall Lin Li, tilted her head, and asked.

"So far, I'm pretty confident. The exams didn't feel too difficult. What about you, Class Rep?" Lin Li returned the courtesy.

"Same as you, I'm also pretty confident about getting into the top 100," Chen Yuying replied.

Lin Li: "?"

That... that's not the same, is it?

Ding Sihan suddenly asked mischievously, "Lin Li, where's your brooch? I want to compliment it too."

Chen Yuying laughed out loud, and Lin Li responded with a middle finger.

He knew exactly what Ding Sihan was teasing him about. Why does Yu Yu tell her dorm mates everything?

On his way back to his seat, he saw Zhou Baowei still hunched over his desk writing during the break. Curious, he leaned his head over.

The small piece of paper was covered in ant-sized writing.

Lin Li fell silent.

"Baowei, is this a cheat sheet?" he confirmed.

"That's right. Old Man Jian was right, a good memory is not as good as a worn-out pen. Besides, with my crappy memory, I'd better rely on the pen," Zhou Baowei nodded.

When will I ever be able to suppress my curiosity to look at everything?

The task was right on the verge of completion, and now another heavy burden had been added to his shoulders.

"Do you dare tell Xue Jian your interpretation of his words?" Lin Li patted Zhou Baowei heavily on the shoulder, then added in a low voice, "Baowei, cheating is shameful."

"Lin Li, but a five-thousand-yuan feast is edible," Baowei said passionately.

"Baowei, don't be like this. Memorizing is indeed hard, but when you feel the path is difficult, it means you're going uphill. When you run slowly, all you hear around you is comfortable laughter, but when you run fast, all you hear is the howling wind..."

Lin Li hoped to awaken the conscience in Baowei's heart.

But not everyone has a conscience.

"Lin Li, stop feeding me chicken soup. Those so-called successful people who spout this chicken soup have already eaten all the chicken meat. I want to eat chicken meat too, I don't want to just drink the soup. Say no more, my mind is made up," Zhou Baowei waved his hand.

This guy's talent for food analogies was a bit much.

Lin Li looked at Zhou Baowei and smiled.

Since that's the case.

My mind is also made up.

Although Zhou Baowei wasn't in the same exam room as him, if it was just him, there was still a way to solve it.

...

The next day, Friday, the last day of the monthly exams.

In the afternoon, after the Chemistry exam was over and there was only a short time before the final exam, History, Lin Li went to Zhou Baowei's exam room and called out to him from outside.

"What's up?" Zhou Baowei walked out and asked in confusion.

"Lend me your History book. I need to cram at the last minute. Bufan and I both forgot ours," Lin Li said.

"Sure." Baowei went in and brought out the textbook.

After looking at it for a few minutes, Lin Li changed his mind: "Baowei, the key points in the book are too general. Where's your cheat sheet? Let me memorize the key points on it."

"Be careful, don't let anyone see it." Zhou Baowei first scanned the surroundings, then took out the almost black "white paper" from his pocket.

Lin Li looked at it for a long time, until the invigilator appeared with the new exam papers.

"No time, I have to go into the exam room, Lin Li!" Zhou Baowei whispered.

"Alright, here's your cheat sheet back."

Lin Li watched Zhou Baowei walk into the exam room, an evil smile appearing on his face.

...

The exam was underway.

Baowei's exam room.

The exam had been going on for nearly forty minutes. Facts proved that his efforts last night and today were useful, but not by much.

There was still too much on the History exam that he had no idea how to answer.

But fortunately, Zhou Baowei remembered that the vast majority of this was recorded on his cheat sheet.

His cheat sheet could be called the Yongle Encyclopedia.

He glanced up at the teacher. The afternoon invigilator was quite strict and invigilated very seriously. Confirming that the teacher was still sitting at the podium, Zhou Baowei reached into his pocket.

He pulled out the cheat sheet. To cram as much information as possible into the smallest possible space, it was densely packed with miniature writing.

Zhou Baowei looked down at his cheat sheet, ready to absorb knowledge.

[Zhongli: Cheating? Interesting!]

[Raiden Shogun: Now, you shall perish!]

[Venti: May the Anemo God protect you!]

[Klee: Jumpy Dumpty!]

[Jean: Klee!]

[...]

Holy fuck, Genshin!

Why the fuck is my cheat sheet entirely Genshin Impact quotes?!

This isn't my handwriting at all!

Who else could have swapped my cheat sheet?! It could only be that bastard Lin Li just now!

Fuck! You animal! This guy even imitated my cheat sheet and filled a whole page just to pull a bait-and-switch! Aren't you fucking tired?!

Zhou Baowei felt like he couldn't breathe.

He had heard from Bufan last night that Lin Li hated cheating recently because he got destroyed by a hacker. But seeing Lin Li act normal earlier, he thought their good relationship meant he would be treated differently.

Now... it seemed he was treated differently, just in a way that was a bit too brotherly.

Lin Li, you motherfucker! Just you wait!

Footsteps approached. Zhou Baowei looked up and saw that the invigilator had stepped down from the podium at some point and was walking toward him.

He hurriedly shoved the cheat sheet into his drawer.

"Take out the cheat sheet." But unexpectedly, the invigilator was coming straight for him. He walked right up to his desk, knocked on it with his knuckles, and spoke in an extremely cold voice.

"Teacher, I-I don't have a cheat sheet," Zhou Baowei said weakly.

"Do you want me to take it out for you? I'll give you three seconds. Three—" This invigilator's oppressive aura was even stronger than Xue Jian's.

Zhou Baowei gritted his teeth, took out the piece of paper, and handed it to the invigilator.

"Take your pen and paper and get out. You don't need to take this exam anymore. Your homeroom teacher will look for you later." Taking the small piece of paper with a sneer, the invigilator didn't let Zhou Baowei off the hook. He even started collecting his answer sheet.

"Teacher, wait!" If his answer sheet was taken, the five-thousand-yuan feast was completely gone. Zhou Baowei was anxious. He pressed down on his answer sheet and emphasized, "Teacher, that really isn't a cheat sheet."

"Still being stubborn? If this isn't a cheat sheet, what is it? Do you want me to read it out loud?!" Seeing Zhou Baowei refusing to admit defeat until the bitter end, a personality type he found even more infuriating, the invigilator raised his voice and held the cheat sheet up in front of himself: "Klee: Jumpy Dump—"

As the surrounding students, who had already lowered their heads, looked up in shock, and as he realized what his mouth was saying, the invigilator shut up.

He looked at the contents of the cheat sheet, his eyes widening continuously, but his pupils shrinking.

This whole page is filled with Genshin Impact quotes?

Bro, seriously.

I need insulin.

I need insulin.

Help!

"Teacher, I told you it wasn't a cheat sheet," Zhou Baowei pressed his fingers against his temples, looking down at the desk.

The only thing this paper had to do with History (Lishi) was that it was shit (Shi).

Although he had proven his innocence, Zhou Baowei didn't feel much better right now.

After a long silence, a crumpled "cheat sheet" rolled in front of Zhou Baowei. The invigilator's voice, uncharacteristically lacking its previous imposing manner, said: "Continue with the exam. Don't bring things unrelated to the exam into the exam room in the future."

"Understood..."

Zhou Baowei's feelings were complicated.

Lin Li, thank you, but fuck your virtual mom.

Lin Li, fuck your virtual mom, but thank you.

(End of Chapter)