The System is Abstract, Luckily, So Am I

Chapter 170 : There's Still a Chance, There's Still a Chance, Don't Give Up

A fall into the pit, a gain in your wit. A fall into the pit, a gain in your wit. This was Bai Bufan.

Who knows if Bai Bufan felt cool standing in the shadow of his life's mistakes.

But at least right now, he looked pretty chilled to the bone.

"T-t-teacher," Bai Bufan stood up, his voice sheepish.

*Xue Jian is truly powerful. His ability to absorb sleepiness is way stronger than my duck blood flask.*

*To cultivate immortality, one must be like Old Man Jian.*

Lin Li, standing to the side, sighed with such emotion in his heart.

And when Bai Bufan lowered his head and shot him a vicious glare, Lin Li could only respond with an innocent look.

This was a silent conversation.

Bai Bufan: [You bastard, why didn't you warn me?!]

Lin Li: [I didn't know.]

Lin Li truly didn't know. Xue Jian must have sneaked in silently through the back door. If Xue Jian hadn't spoken up just now, Lin Li wouldn't have even known he was standing right next to them.

As a cultivator, his vigilance was still not strong enough.

And Xue Jian's silent approach was truly too beastly.

"Come with me," Xue Jian said to Bai Bufan after glancing at him.

*It's over!*

Bai Bufan actually felt a bit wronged. Morning reading hadn't even started yet, so sleeping wasn't illegal, right? As for the swearing, the number of sixteen-year-olds on this planet who hadn't sworn was probably fewer than the number of people who mained the Fume Shroom in Plants vs. Zombies.

But since he got caught, he was in the wrong. Bai Bufan could only follow behind Xue Jian dejectedly, ready to face his death.

*When the lips are gone, the teeth are cold.* Lin Li and Zhou Baowei both snickered sadly, expressing their sorrow through amusement.

"Lin Li, you come with me too," Xue Jian glanced at Lin Li as well.

Lin Li's snickering transferred over to Zhou Baowei.

*I'm over too.*

And so, Xue Jian walked in front, while Lin Li and Bai Bufan followed behind, keeping a slight distance.

When the three of them reached the teachers' office and didn't stop, Lin Li suddenly realized what was going on and instantly relaxed.

*Resurrected.*

Bai Bufan also sensed something was off. Although it was never wrong to look for Lin Li when there was trouble in the class, the current situation didn't seem like they were being dragged to the office to be scolded.

Noticing Lin Li's relaxed demeanor, Bai Bufan lowered his voice and asked, "Lin Li, what exactly is going on?"

"We've been reported. Wang Yuezhi told Old Man Jian that two perverted naked men wearing clothes were sleeping in the back row of the classroom. He meant us," Lin Li also lowered his voice to reply.

"Where are we..."

Wait.

"...Naked men wearing clothes. Do you even hear what you're saying? But I'll remember this grudge. I'll get my revenge on Wang Yuezhi," Bai Bufan nodded in agreement.

When they followed Xue Jian out of the teaching building, Bai Bufan became confused again. He looked at Lin Li and asked:

"Lin Li, where are we going?"

"The Administration Building."

"Wait... is this because of the autumn outing incident?" Seeing Lin Li so familiar with the route, Bai Bufan finally made the connection.

This "autumn outing" referred to the Autumn Outing King's autumn outing.

"Yeah, Uncle Yang actually mentioned it to me over the weekend, but I didn't expect them to pull us over this early," Lin Li nodded.

At the door of the principal's office, Xue Jian knocked: "Principal Wang."

"Bufan, protect your eyes in a second. There's going to be a show of dominance," Lin Li reminded him while lowering his head, speaking from experience.

Unfortunately, Bai Bufan didn't believe him. After the door opened, he was blinded by the morning sunlight reflecting off the principal's bald spot.

*Ignore the old man's advice, be happy all year round. But ignore Lin Li's advice, and you'll suffer right before your eyes.*

However, the principal who opened the door this time didn't have the closeness and kindness of the last time. He looked at the new face, Bai Bufan, with a complex expression, and then looked at Lin Li with eyes full of deep sorrow and bitter distress.

It made Lin Li feel a bit embarrassed.

"Come in," the principal said with a heavy tone.

Alarm bells rang in their heads.

Although they didn't know why they were ringing.

"Sister Sun," Lin Li greeted Sun Ying, whom he had met once before, as soon as he walked in.

However, the other Demon Suppression Envoy next to Sun Ying today wasn't Yang Liang, but a new face. Yang Liang had told Lin Li the reason over the weekend: he had taken his family on a vacation to rest, so he couldn't come to the school.

*Consider him lucky he escaped—no, consider it a pity he missed the chance to meet Lin Li.*

It was time for him to rest anyway; he had been working hard lately.

"Little Lin," Sun Ying also smiled and nodded at Lin Li, then introduced, "This is Officer Fang. Your Uncle Yang should have already told you himself that he couldn't make it."

"Hello, Uncle Fang. Yes, Uncle Yang told me."

"Alright, then let's get straight to the process. Principal Wang, these two kids..."

"No need, no need," the principal waved his hands so fast they left afterimages, and he used both hands too. "No need for introductions this time. I already have a rough idea of what these two kids did. As long as they can help you, that's fine. Just skip my part."

Sun Ying: "..."

Based on Sun Ying's professional knowledge, the principal seemed to be showing signs of PTSD. She needed to be careful and avoid his triggers in the future.

"Then let's go straight to the photo session." Sun Ying had no objections. She gave her colleague a look, and he brought out two rolled-up silk banners.

"You must be Student Bai. This is your banner," Envoy Fang looked at the expectant Bai Bufan next to Lin Li and confirmed.

"Yes, that's me, that's me!" Bai Bufan couldn't wait any longer.

Receiving a silk banner for the first time in his life was a complete unexpected joy. However, he didn't know if it was his imagination, but he felt that Envoy Fang's expression was a bit strange when handing him the banner.

Lin Li was also looking forward to it.

Stepping forward to take it, Bai Bufan immediately unrolled it in front of himself. Five large, glittering golden characters caught his eye:

[Pioneer Dog of the Anti-Pornography Campaign]

Bai Bufan: "?"

Wait.

*You motherfucker.*

*Why is the word "Dog" in there?*

*No, no, no. According to Lin Li, this thing has two sides. There's still a chance.*

Bai Bufan's dead heart hung in suspense again. He excitedly flipped it over. Sure enough, there were five more glittering golden characters.

[Woof Woof Woof Woof Woof]

Bai Bufan: "?"

"Pfft—" The principal standing to the side let out a sound. When everyone looked over, he immediately turned his head, walked to the window, and started looking at the scenery outside.

*No, no, no, no, no.*

Bai Bufan felt like he was currently in a cave in the Amazon jungle, first hearing a burst of intense music, and then seeing a giant durian.

*I've been subjected to the ultimate humiliation.*

Bai Bufan narrowed his eyes. The Demon Suppression Bureau couldn't possibly humiliate him like this, and there were absolutely no official-sounding words on this banner.

Come to think of it, how could the Sanqiao branch give him something like this? This definitely wasn't from them!

Bai Bufan whipped his head around to glare at Lin Li.

*Was it you?! You bastard!*

"Why are you looking at me? It couldn't possibly be that over the weekend, I paid out of my own pocket to have Uncle Yang make this banner, and then had Sister Sun bring it over to give to you, just to give you hope and then disappoint you, playing you for a fool and laughing at you, right? How could that be? I would never do such a thing," Lin Li hurriedly denied it in a super-fast, breathless stream of words.

*Fuck.*

Bai Bufan smiled, a smile through gritted teeth. If the current environment allowed it, his Arrow of Retribution would have already been shot right into Lin Li's face.

"Sister Sun, do I... really have to... hold this... for the photo?" Bai Bufan shook the [Woof Woof Woof Woof Woof] in front of him, smiling a smile uglier than crying, and asked Sun Ying.

"No, no, no, no, this is a surprise gift Little Lin prepared specially for you, haha. It's not really... suitable to appear on our official platforms, hahaha," Sun Ying quickly declined.

Although she had received professional training, Bai Bufan holding the banner in front of his chest, combined with his current constipated expression, was simply too funny.

Anyone who could hold back their laughter was truly a god.

"You. Mother. Fucker. Just you wait," Bai Bufan rolled up the banner bit by bit, maintaining a smile facing everyone, but his voice was lowered and squeezed out through his teeth.

"I am the [Pioneer of the Anti-Pornography Campaign], and you are the [Pioneer Dog of the Anti-Pornography Campaign]. This is our hot-blooded bond," Lin Li felt as if his true feelings had been fed to a dog, looking very sad.

Envoy Fang, suppressing his laughter, took out the second banner.

"You're not going to humiliate me twice, are you?" Bai Bufan took a wary step back.

"You're not worth me spending that much money," Lin Li shook his head.

Bai Bufan: "..."

*Fuck.*

*I still got humiliated twice.*

"Teacher Xue, this banner is for you," Envoy Fang walked toward Xue Jian.

Xue Jian took a step back, also looking wary.

Envoy Fang: "..."

He quickly added, "This banner is from our Sanqiao branch to you."

With the official endorsement, Xue Jian finally breathed a sigh of relief. As he stepped forward to take it, he asked with some confusion, "Officer Fang, may I ask why you're giving me a banner?"

Although Xue Jian was present that day, he knew very well that he and his wife were just bystanders eating melons; they hadn't done anything.

"This was also requested by Student Lin. He said he already has a banner, and receiving another one so soon wouldn't mean much. He suggested giving it to you, the one who educated Student Lin and Student Bai. We thought it made sense, so we agreed. You truly deserve it," Envoy Fang explained.

Xue Jian: "..."

*[The one who educated Student Lin and Student Bai]*

*Why... does that sound like an insult?*

Xue Jian looked at Lin Li.

*This kid occasionally shows a human side.*

*He actually remembered what happened last time until now?*

Xue Jian unrolled the banner. It was single-sided, and the content was very normal:

[Teaching with proper methods, peaches and plums fill the world]

(Translator's Note: "Peaches and plums" is a metaphor for students/disciples).

The content had nothing to do with this commendation, but Xue Jian remembered very clearly that these were the exact words on the "fake banner" he had personally replicated.

*Is Lin Li mocking me?*

*Forget it. This damn kid has mocking as a passive talent. It's probably just him subconsciously being a troll.* Xue Jian found it somewhat amusing.

He took the banner and sincerely thanked Envoy Fang.

"When we take photos later, we'll need your cooperation, Teacher Xue. You can't be indifferent to fame and fortune this time," Sun Ying said with a smile.

Xue Jian nodded.

The principal glanced at the things Envoy Fang had brought. It seemed there wasn't a third banner. He blinked, scoffed internally, and continued looking out the window.

*It's just a banner, I don't care about it anyway.*

*Lin Li, you really are a show-off.*

"And here is your prize money," Envoy Fang handed two envelopes with names written on them to Lin Li and Bai Bufan. "Because your contributions were different, your prize amounts are different. Student Lin gets four thousand yuan, and Student Bai, you get eight hundred yuan."

Sun Ying added an explanation at this time: "Lin Li, although you provided more information this time and indeed helped us clear out more illegal pornography dens, the first time had a symbolic significance attached to it, so the first case gets a bit more. Don't be disappointed that it's less this time. Your Uncle Yang tried his best to fight for you."

"I'm not disappointed at all, I couldn't be happier," Lin Li beamed. This was his favorite part.

Becoming a "ten-thousand-yuan household" through his own efforts—this was the true power of a cultivator.

Bai Bufan was even more satisfied. Even if he only got ten bucks, he would have sighed about unexpected wealth, let alone a whole eight hundred. He could buy Spring Breeze Elves (Sylvester Stallone, Arnold Schwarzenegger) and use them in turns. Left hand guiding the right, right hand guiding the left—wouldn't that be beautiful?

"And then there are these physical items. Officer Yang specifically entrusted me to bring these to you two. Consider it his personal reward. After all, his performance this year..." Envoy Fang smiled, then under the expectant gazes of the two, took out another bag.

Sure enough, it was those supermarket gift cards again, with a few books underneath.

"This rice and flour card is for you, Lin Li. This *High School Year 1 After-School Practice* is for you, Bai Bufan. This soybean oil card is for you, Lin Li. This *Olympic Past Papers* is for you, Bai Bufan..." Officer Fang distributed the items one by one.

Looking at the stack of supplementary exercise books in front of him, Bai Bufan: "..."

He turned his head to look at Lin Li, and the gift cards in front of him.

Lin Li shook his head innocently this time. "This really has nothing to do with me this time, I swear."

Bai Bufan was dumbfounded.

Lin Li wouldn't deny it at a time like this.

Which meant this was Yang Liang's arrangement?

*Wait, when did I ever offend him?*

*Repaying kindness with enmity! Repaying kindness with enmity!*

"Your Uncle Yang entrusted me to distribute it like this. He said this represents his different high hopes for the two of you, and he hopes neither of you will let him down. Keep up the good work."

Envoy Fang gave a thumbs up. He had finally managed to stop wanting to laugh, but seeing Bai Bufan's expression made him want to laugh again. He also needed to explain that this wasn't his deliberate doing.

When he received these things from Yang Liang, he had also asked why they were divided like this. Yang Liang only said Bai Bufan deserved it.

*How did this kid offend Brother Yang?*

"Thank you."

But since it was a reward after all, the two thanked him. Bai Bufan's smile was forced, and Lin Li's suppressed laughter was also forced.

With the rewards distributed, the next part was some normal Q&A and the photo session.

"These photos and my personal information will all be anonymous, right?" Because he had no experience, Bai Bufan still asked with concern.

These were things he absolutely could not let his family know about.

"Yes," Sun Ying nodded.

"By the way, can I choose my own pseudonym?" Bai Bufan asked.

"Sure. Lin Li's pseudonym is Little Li. What pseudonym do you want to use?" Sun Ying had no objections.

"Lin Li."

"What's wrong?"

"I wasn't calling you," Bai Bufan, afraid Sun Ying didn't understand, added an explanation and emphasized: "I want my pseudonym to be Lin Li. Preferably, the full pseudonym should be Student Lin Li from Class 4, Grade 10 of Nansang Middle School."

Sun Ying: "..."

*Who the fuck taught you to pick a pseudonym like that?*

(End of Chapter)