The Sorrowmender

Chapter 61 – The heart is like a deep ravine, difficult to fill even with thick soil

"Fate?" Xu Qingzhou furrowed his brows.

Mo Shengge looked at him without reservation and nodded emphatically, "Yes, fate."

Saying this, Mo Shengge drained her cup, refilled it from the wine jug, and as the wine blossomed in the cup, she continued her tale without pause.

"I didn't believe in fate before, but now I do."

"People say beauty often leads to a short life, but I was never a beauty, and yet my fate is equally complicated."

"I am the eldest daughter of the Mo family, born as a snow lotus on a high mountain, not a weed in the valley. I am not only noble but also diligent from a young age, excelling in music, chess, calligraphy, and painting."

"Because of my good nature, some beauty, kindness, generosity, and a well-off family, I always thought I deserved all the good things in the world, that I should be happy, that I deserved happiness."

"But fate plays tricks, and the heavens are unjust, and I ended up in a miserable situation."

"Married into the City Lord's mansion, everyone envied me, but only I knew the bitterness."

"My husband does not love me; he married me only because I am the eldest daughter of the Mo family, nothing more. He cannot have children, yet he blames me."

"And in front of the world, he pretends to love only me, but in private, he indulges in affairs, leaving me to bear all the blame."

"My father, my elder brother, they knew all along, but for power and profit, they remained silent, pretending to be deaf and dumb."

"I cried every day, but no one understood me, pitied me, or helped me."

"I've had enough, truly had enough."

"Enough of the rumors, enough of the curses and insults, enough of the false affection."

"And all of this is thanks to that damned fate. I am unwilling, I refuse, I no longer want to endure."

"So I decided to change my fate."

"I was never wrong, so why should I suffer this injustice? Why? I began to resist, using what I learned to change everything. I killed my father, killed all those who ignored me, and I also crippled my husband..."

"I gained power, supreme power."

She gradually became manic, her eyes filled with hostility, interpreting her own injustice.

"Mister, do you know? Power is truly a wonderful thing. It can change everything, define everything. If I want someone to die, they must die. If I want things to be a certain way, they can be that way."

"Turning black into white, calling a deer a horse, confusing right and wrong."

"I did it. I became the hidden ruler of Linfeng City, the king who controls everything, but fate never favored me... just when I was once again blocked by fate's injustice."

"I met you, Mister, and I saw another opportunity, a chance to completely trample fate underfoot."

"I wanted to kill you, Mister, but I didn't underestimate you. I played my two biggest cards, but I still lost."

"But I didn't lose to you, Mister; it was fate. This time, fate stood against me once again."

She let out a sorrowful cry, her eyes filled with helplessness, enough to move anyone who saw it.

"Hahaha, how ridiculous, how pathetic!"

Xu Qingzhou listened to her story, his expression full of complexity.

Pitiful people often have something contemptible about them, and contemptible people also have something pitiful about them.

Mo Shengge in the story was a pitiful person.

Life is like an ant, naturally weathered by storms, originally a rootless duckweed, with inevitable helplessness.

But he did not sympathize with Mo Shengge before him, because fate had indeed given her opportunities.

"I gave you a chance, Lady. Fate allowed me to relieve your worries. If you had a shred of kindness, you could have succeeded in changing your fate, but unfortunately, you didn't. Instead, you insisted on killing me."

Mo Shengge continued to look at him and said, "If fate cannot be controlled by my own hands, then what difference does it make whether I'm alive or dead?"

"I don't want to kill you, Mister, but with you alive, how can I sleep peacefully?"

She looked up at the sky, where the wind howled, the rain roared, and thunder and lightning flashed.

"Mister, you once told a story in Frostsky City about a man named Cao Cao. I really liked something he said."

"I would rather betray the world than let the world betray me."

Her voice was low and heavy, and though she was a woman, her words carried the coldness of a hero.

She looked at Xu Qingzhou again, almost pleadingly asking:

"These are your words, Mister, so do you think I'm right?"

Xu Qingzhou was at a loss for words, but it was clear that Mo Shengge cared deeply about his answer and was eagerly anticipating it.

He twirled his wine cup with his fingers and, in a flash of lightning, gave his answer.

"You did the right thing, and you weren't wrong, but it's a pity you met me, which doomed you to lose."

Receiving Xu Qingzhou's affirmation, Mo Shengge felt a weight lift off her shoulders, her tense body relaxing, her eyes shining with light, and she smiled with genuine relief.

"Hahaha, I knew it, I knew I was right. To have your approval, Mister, I'm satisfied."

"Cheers! Mister!"

She raised her cup and drank it all.

Xu Qingzhou also raised his cup but only took a sip.

"But you did get one thing wrong; you didn't lose to fate."

"What?"

"You only lost to yourself."

Xu Qingzhou licked his lips, gazing seriously at the slightly intoxicated Mo Shengge.

Mo Shengge was puzzled, her eyes once again showing a dazed expression.

"Lost to myself?"

"Yes, you lost to yourself, to the desires in your heart." Xu Qingzhou looked at her calmly, speaking with deep meaning:

"The heart is like a bottomless pit, hard to fill with soil."

"All beings say that there are three thousand ailments in the world, but only lovesickness is incurable."

"But this lovesickness, I can cure, and I have cured it, but the desires in people's hearts, I cannot unravel, cannot fill, cannot exhaust..."

Saying this, Xu Qingzhou's brows furrowed with sorrow, and he sighed, shaking his head:

"Love can be resolved, but desire is endless. Lovesickness can be forgotten, but I cannot save those consumed by endless greed."

Each word fell into the depths of the heart, no less than the thunder in the sky, even surpassing it by threefold.

Mo Shengge's raised wine cup hung in mid-air, and she simply stared blankly at Xu Qingzhou.

Love can be resolved, but desire is endless.

These words, she heard for the first time, yet she understood them immediately, comprehending them at once.

Because they spoke of her.

To this day, her downfall was due to this word 'desire.'

Looking at the Mister before her, she found clarity on this rainy night, followed by a sense of relief.

She was unwilling, unwilling to have lost to fate, hence her righteous indignation, even as she faced death, she remained unyielding.

But with a word from the Mister, she gained enlightenment, realizing that she never lost to fate, but to the desires in her heart.

Her eyes trembled, and the hand holding the cup trembled as well.

After a long while, she only said, "Thank you, Mister."

Her tone was calm, with a touch of serenity, and she drank the cup slowly.

After finishing, she put down the cup, not refilling it, but instead tidied her clothes, looking at Xu Qingzhou with anticipation.

She asked:

"Mister, do you regret saving me that day?"

Xu Qingzhou furrowed his brows in thought. He had asked himself this question, but never expected Mo Shengge to ask him.

He thought for a long time, then spoke a single sentence.

"Do not speak of past deeds, do not advise on completed matters, do not blame past wrongs."

Mo Shengge smiled sweetly, speaking to herself, "Yes, what's done is done, why question it further."

"Mister is indeed Mister, living more transparently than I."

Saying this, she took out a delicate wooden box from a hidden compartment and slowly pushed it in front of Xu Qingzhou.

"I intended to kill you, Mister, yet you were willing to listen to my grievances and even help me understand. I know not how to repay you, so before I leave, let me help you once."

It can be hard to make great work when its stolen from "pawread.com".

"This contains the formula to remove the death warriors' curse marks. I believe you will find it useful, Mister."

...