The Sorrowmender

Chapter 56 – Some things were wrong from the very beginning

"Oh—so you're saying you're going to protect me?"

The white-haired girl shook her head in denial and said firmly, "No, I will kill you sooner or later. Once I draw the lot, I'll kill you!"

Xu Qingzhou smiled knowingly. Children often say things they don't mean, using a loud voice to cover up their guilt, and the white-haired girl was no exception.

Unconsciously, he slowed his pace as the end of the alley was shrouded in darkness.

Xu Qingzhou gently asked, "Do you really have to kill me?"

"I want to hear the truth!"

This question was like an arrow piercing her heart as she looked at the young man in front of her.

He was always so gentle, always smiling, even though he knew she wanted to kill him, he was still kind to her.

At least she thought he was a good person.

She considered herself to have met three different people, not counting Wuyou.

One was Mo Shengge, and the other was Xu Qingzhou.

The similarity was that both had saved her.

But they were different. One always said, "I want to be good to you."

While the other never said he wanted to be good to her, yet everything he did showed his kindness.

Mo Shengge always made her do things she didn't like, like killing people.

She also always talked to her, but she didn't like to listen.

Xu Qingzhou also made her do things she didn't like, like reading.

He rarely spoke to her, but for some reason, she liked listening to what he said.

She didn't like killing, she had said it many times, but Mo Shengge never remembered and still made her do it.

She liked blue, and she only mentioned it once, but she got new blue clothes, a blue cup, a blue backpack, and blue lavender blooming in the study.

She didn't understand much at first, but gradually she began to understand.

What is good? What does it mean to be good?

She didn't know before because she was unwilling to communicate with people.

Before, there was no comparison, so Mo Shengge became the sole standard of definition.

Now, it's different...

As she pondered, she fell silent, knowing the answer to the question, but not knowing how to respond.

So she remained silent.

Her thoughts were deep.

She wondered if Mister Forgetting Worries could be less kind, would things be better.

But she didn't dislike his kindness.

The annoyance came from nowhere, leaving her at a loss!

Xu Qingzhou naturally saw through the white-haired girl's thoughts.

He spoke again in a deep voice.

"Have you ever thought that some things were wrong from the start?"

The white-haired girl was startled, snapping out of her thoughts.

Xu Qingzhou's gentle voice continued to echo in the dark alley.

"It's like when you get dressed in the morning, and you button the first button wrong, but you only realize it when you reach the last button."

"Some things are wrong from the start, and some people you shouldn't have met from the beginning."

"But once it's wrong and you've met them, you can't keep making the same mistakes."

"Making mistakes over and over, deceiving yourself, in the end, only you will get hurt."

"Forcing yourself to do things you don't like is exhausting in itself."

"Don't you think so?"

Xu Qingzhou spoke in a roundabout way. The white-haired girl was simple-minded, but she wasn't stupid. She understood what Xu Qingzhou meant.

She had reflected on it too. Was she wrong? Naturally, she was.

Just as Xu Qingzhou said, she had been deceiving herself, doing things she didn't like.

That's why she avoided Mo Shengge and moved into the broken temple.

She wanted to break away from her sooner, so she killed many people against her will, including those sent to kill Xu Qingzhou.

But she was still young, and at eight, she was instilled with wrong ideas, making it hard for her to distinguish right from wrong, unable to articulate it clearly.

She still didn't answer, but this time she nodded heavily.

She admitted she was wrong, had always been wrong, and she didn't deny it. She wished she had never met Mo Shengge.

"If, and I'm just saying if... if I had met you first, things might have been different."

Xu Qingzhou smiled calmly, glancing at the white-haired girl, his eyes full of patience and gentleness.

"The people we meet, the time we meet them, and the experiences we go through are all destined, beyond our control."

"This world is full of people, and we meet more than one, but they can be divided into two kinds: those who are worth it and those who are not."

"We can't control who we meet, but we can choose."

"If you meet someone worth it, hold on to them. If you meet someone who isn't, let them go with the wind."

"The same goes for things. We should persist in doing the right things and learn to let go of the wrong ones."

"As the ancients said, 'To err is human.'"

"Everyone makes mistakes, but we can't keep making them. We must learn to correct them."

"As the ancients also said, 'To know one's mistakes and correct them is the greatest good.'"

"Treasure the right people, do the right things, live well, and take life slowly. That's what you should pursue."

"Make life worthwhile, make memories deep, and make the future promising."

"Learn to make yourself smile. Why please others when you can please yourself?"

Xu Qingzhou spoke a lot of philosophy. He didn't know if the white-haired girl could understand or take it in.

But Xu Qingzhou had to say it, he had to tell this child what was right and what was wrong.

The white-haired girl remained silent, her brows lowered. Her clear eyes should not have been a place for sorrow.

Yet now, they were mostly occupied by it.

Find the original at bit.ly/3iBfjkV.

The worry came from nowhere, with nowhere to hide.

"You're just like the teachers at the school, always talking about philosophy, so annoying."

Xu Qingzhou didn't mind, continuing, "Then don't go to school tomorrow."

The white-haired girl's heart tightened, and she sat up abruptly, asking urgently, "Why?"

Seeing her react so strongly, Xu Qingzhou teased with a half-smile.

"Didn't you say you don't like school?"

"Who said that?" she retorted righteously, then asked, "You haven't told me why. Is it because I want to kill you, or because there's no money?"

Seeing her so anxious, Xu Qingzhou understood well. It wasn't that she liked school; she was just afraid of being separated from Wuyou, afraid of being driven away by him.

So he stopped teasing her.

"Just kidding, come with me to Linfeng City."

"Why go to Linfeng City?" The white-haired girl widened her eyes.

"Naturally, to see Mo Shengge."

Without thinking, she shook her head in refusal.

"I'm not going, I don't want to see her, and I don't want to go back to that place."

"If you don't go, I might get killed. Didn't you just say you'd fight anyone who tried to kill me? What, changing your mind so soon?"

The white-haired girl bit her lip, "Do we really have to go?"

Xu Qingzhou's brows furrowed, his gentleness turning sharp, and his tone became much deeper.

"Yes, we have to go, for my own reasons and for you. We have to go to Linfeng, and we have to see Mo Shengge!"

"For me?"

"Yes, I want you to see with your own eyes what is wrong and what is right. I must help you correct the wrong path you've taken."

Xu Qingzhou's tone was firm, leaving no room for doubt.

The white-haired girl's eyes flickered, and without answering, she quietly leaned her head on Xu Qingzhou's shoulder.

She closed her eyes, her long lashes brushing her cheeks, and she whispered softly.

"I'm tired, let's go home quickly, I want to sleep."

Xu Qingzhou grinned, raising an eyebrow.

Home, huh?

Yes, that is indeed her home, and it's my home too.

"Alright, let's go home!"