The Player Who Stands Above All

Chapter 181

Lee Shin slowly felt his mind clearing, as if waking from a sleep, and opened his eyes.

"You're awake?"

"…What, it seems you were already awake."

"Yes, I was already awake."

At Lee Shin's words, Raven nodded her head slightly.

Even while nodding, Raven's pupils continued to look at Lee Shin.

At that, Lee Shin looked at Raven with a puzzled expression.

"Why do you keep staring at me like that? Did I do something to you while I was sleeping?"

"No, you were just sleeping peacefully with a comfortable face."

"Then why are you staring at me like that? Even for me, it's a little burdensome to be stared at so intently."

Right now, Lee Shin was lying on a long sofa with his head on the armrest, and Raven was standing next to him, staring at his face with a gap of about one finger.

He had said it with the meaning of 'move away a little', but Raven just stared down at him as if she didn't want to. So Lee Shin also looked at Raven with a 'what's this situation' feeling.

Silky black hair that looked like it was made by melting shadows, and in contrast, pure white skin like a drawing paper.

Was it because of that skin?

The pupils, which were out of focus and lifeless as if they were empty, the dark circles under her eyes, and the long eyelashes that decorated her eyes were all too clearly visible.

If an ordinary person had such eyes, they would have just felt like rotten fish eyes, but since a beauty like Raven had such eyes, along with her sharp nose and firmly closed red lips, they blended with the atmosphere Raven exuded, sublimating into her own unique charm of being languid and decadent, and became a strength that highlighted her.

'What is she suddenly doing?'

But to the current Lee Shin, there was no such grand impression.

To the current Lee Shin, Raven's eyes just gave the feeling of a burdensome and annoying gaze.

Because Lee Shin himself was second to none when it came to lifeless pupils.

'Help~'

In the end, Lee Shin, unable to come up with a way to solve this situation, chose to ask a third party for help via telepathy.

-I don't want to. I'm not going to help you, so solve it yourself.

But Lee Shin's request for help was immediately rejected.

'Why are you doing this. It's incredibly scary and burdensome to be stared at continuously with such lifeless eyes from a close distance. Or do you have any idea why she's suddenly acting like this?'

Lee Shin asked with a small hope, wondering if he could get a hint, but Irehgue shook his head.

-I also came out of the memory when you came out, so there's no way I would know.

'Then why aren't you helping me.'

-I don't know what the situation is, but it looks interesting, so I want to keep watching.

At Irehgue's immediate reply, Lee Shin closed his mouth, at a loss for words.

'When a person is in trouble, to just watch without helping…'

-Are you the one to say that?

As Irehgue retorted with a dumbfounded expression, Lee Shin had no choice but to close his mouth.

-Anyway, I'm not going to help you, so solve it yourself.

Irehgue said that, got on Lee Shin's stomach, settled into a comfortable position, and watched the two with slightly curved eyes.

Irehgue's eyes, curved like a crescent moon, clearly showed where he had originally been born.

'Sigh.'

In the end, Lee Shin, who had given up on Irehgue's help, looked straight ahead.

Raven was still staring at Lee Shin with dazed eyes that felt lifeless.

Sharreureuk-

As Raven tilted her head slightly, her bobbed hair that had been tucked behind her ear flowed down, and a shadow was cast between their faces as if a curtain had been drawn.

Their black pupils met each other's, revealing a sharp light in the shadows.

"I have a favor to ask."

"What is it?"

Lee Shin, who had noticed that Raven was making this fuss because of the question she was about to ask, looked at her with eyes that said, 'go ahead and say it'.

He was planning on just saying 'okay' to whatever it was and getting out of this situation.

But the moment Raven's words fell.

"Be my family."

Lee Shin froze.

"…What?"

Pupils that had been soaked by a sudden shower, and pupils that had hidden a flame in the ashes.

Lee Shin and Raven stared at each other with eyes that contained different emotions.

-Kuhuhuhu! This is a masterpiece.

Irehgue's cheerful laughter filled the space that was full of silence.

***

Tilt-

"Family?"

"Yes."

Tilt-

"You and me?"

"Yes."

Every time Lee Shin's head tilted to the left and right, Raven's head also tilted to the left and right, following him.

"You saw my memories, so you're planning on going to find them now, right?"

"Well… I was thinking of doing that."

As Lee Shin nodded his head, Raven said with slightly sparkling eyes.

"If you become my family, I'll cooperate with you too."

"Cooperate?"

"Yes, I'll help you catch them by your side."

"Uhm…"

"Besides that, if there's anything else you need help with, I'll help you by your side."

Raven looked at Lee Shin, offering deals little by little, as if she were desperate, not joking.

Seeing that, he could be sure that Raven was not joking.

'No, I knew she wasn't the type to joke around since I saw her memories, but…'

The part that was bothering Lee Shin now was not that part.

"You…"

Lee Shin asked, looking at Raven as if he truly couldn't understand.

"Why are you suddenly asking me to be your family?"

This was the part.

Lee Shin had watched Raven's entire life, from the moment she was born until now.

So he could deduce what kind of thoughts Raven had and why she wanted a family, but he couldn't understand why that arrow was aimed at him.

At that, Raven answered as if it were obvious.

"Because you cherish your family more than anyone I've ever seen."

"…What?"

At Raven's answer, Lee Shin let out a raw voice that had not been filtered, not his usual playful voice.

In Lee Shin's indifferent pupils, a wary hostility towards Raven was flickering.

But Raven, without any agitation, smiled slightly, as if she were glad to see that side of him.

As if she had already known that Lee Shin would show such a side.

And seeing that side of Raven, Lee Shin also realized what the cause of this sudden change was.

"You saw my memories."

"Yes."

Raven did not deny it and nodded her head.

"I told you before we started. Memories are the same as water, so if something flows to your side, something also flows to my side."

Raven said that and added in a slightly grumbling voice.

"But perhaps because the difference in our mental strength is severe, not that many memories came in."

"How much did you see?"

"About three months?"

"That's more than enough."

Lee Shin let out a sigh and said in a voice mixed with a sigh.

"Which period of memories did you see?"

"I saw your appearance from when you were young until now, here and there."

Tsk-

"Hah, if I had known this would happen, I wouldn't have let my guard down in excitement when I first went in."

At Lee Shin's annoyed muttering, Raven muttered as if making an excuse.

"I warned you when you said you would see all my memories at first."

-Ah, I heard that too. But you were excited and ignored it and just proceeded.

"Irehgue, you too…"

Lee Shin looked at Irehgue with eyes that felt betrayed, but Irehgue ignored his eyes and yawned slightly.

While the two were having a silent conversation with their eyes, Raven slipped in between them.

"I thought you were amazing as I entered your memories and experienced you."

A faint heat flickered in Raven as she said that.

"What was?"

"That impulse keeps popping up in your head, but you kept holding it back for your family."

"…Don't tell me you didn't see my memories as a movie, but you actually entered my body and experienced them?"

Raven tilted her head slightly and said.

"I don't know what you mean, but it's true that I entered your body and experienced them."

"I only saw it as a video."

"That's also because of the difference in mental strength. Your ego is too strong to be swept away by my memories, so you unconsciously separated my memories and your mind like a book and a reader."

"…I don't know whether to like this or not."

At Lee Shin's words, Raven thought for a moment, and then, as if she couldn't find anything to say, she returned to the original topic.

"Anyway, I was in great pain even though I was protecting my mind as much as possible with magic. But you kept enduring it with love for your family. That's amazing."

"Hah…"

Although he knew that Raven had no hostility, Lee Shin firmly closed his mouth at the indescribable awkwardness.

Because the part about his family was a sore spot.

Nevertheless, the reason Lee Shin was quietly listening to Raven's words was because he had seen her memories and had completely understood why she was clinging to him like this.

'Hah, I didn't think things would get this twisted.'

-It's a problem that can be solved by just refusing until the other side gives up, but… knowing you, you probably can't do that.

As Lee Shin couldn't say anything, Irehgue continued.

-I've said it once before, but you tend to become too soft when it comes to family.

'I know that too.'

The reason Lee Shin had helped Eun Yeonwoo was because he had seen himself, who had lost his parents, in the orphan.

The reason he had helped Lee Hyunseok and Lee Hyunyoung was because he had seen the shadow of his parents in the two who had sacrificed themselves for their children.

The reason he showed a little kindness to Lee Sieun, Lee Jieun, and Lee Rion was for a similar reason.

Lee Shin himself was aware that it was severe.

'But I have no intention of fixing it. If I fix this part, my already severe killing intent will probably become even stronger.'

-That's probably true.

At Lee Shin's answer, Irehgue answered nonchalantly, as if he had expected it.

-Then what are you worrying about?

Hilkkeut-

At Irehgue's words, Lee Shin rolled his eyes and looked at Raven.

Raven's eyes were demanding an answer to the question she had first asked.

"Family…"

Lee Shin said with a sigh.

The current Lee Shin had no one he could call family.

Relatives whose names he didn't even know were not worth mentioning, and the three guys he was living with now felt more like toys and pets than family.

So he thought in reverse.

If Raven were to become his family, would he be able to treat her as family?

At the same time as he made that assumption, the answer came out.

"It's impossible."

"…Is that so?"

"Yes, no matter how I think about it, it's impossible. I don't think I can do it like I did when I saw my parents."

Despite the coldly assertive words, Raven continued to look at Lee Shin.

"It's okay if you don't treat me as family right away. I'll keep trying to make you like me. You just have to call me family… is that also impossible?"

"…Why are you going that far?"

At Lee Shin's words, Raven said in a small voice.

"I've never seen a person who loves their family so much even after they're gone."

In Raven's eyes, as she looked at Lee Shin, was a side of him that no one else had known.

"I've also never seen a person who lives, sacrificing himself, thinking of his dead family."

It wasn't that he was moved by being understood.

Just as it's hard for a lion to feel any emotion other than hunger when it sees a rabbit, most of Lee Shin's emotions that were not related to killing intent were faint.

"I've never seen a person who never forgets his dead family and keeps them in his heart."

So this was a side effect of having seen her life.

Because she had a family that had loved her more than she deserved, she pitied her, who had not.

He sympathized with her, who was struggling, wanting a new family because her family had died.

"I was envious. I want to be loved like that, I want to be helped like that, and I want to be remembered like that. So…"

Because he knew the desperation of wanting a family that would love him, even though it seemed fragile.

"Please accept me as your family. I beg you."

"Hah, really…"

Lee Shin let out a small sigh without realizing it.

-You're really weak when it comes to the word 'family'.

'Shut up.'

Lee Shin, as he had done in the past, in front of the two most precious people when he was young, said in a low, honest voice.

"I can't say I'll play the role of a family. …But if it's just imitating the form, I'll play along."

"Yes!"

At Lee Shin's words, Raven answered with a bright smile.

Although her lifeless eyes were still the same.

"Thank you, oppa. I'll try my best by your side so that you can think of me as family."

"At least I like the fact that you listen well."

Lee Shin said that, placed his hand on Raven's head, and pushed her away from him.

"And don't forget that you said you would help me."

"Yes, I'll do my best to help you, oppa."

Raven looked at Lee Shin, continuously emphasizing the word 'oppa' at the end, as if she were happy to have a family.

"So what are you going to do, oppa?"

"First…"

Lee Shin said, looking at the wounds all over his body.

"I need to eat first."