novelraw Chapter 645: Unlovable
Chapter 645: Unlovable
In a duplex villa located somewhere in S city.
Along with Doctor Sun, Lan Yueru also arrived.
At this moment, she was visibly agitated, nearly incoherent, "Si Jue! I won’t allow it! Doctor Sun has already said that your psychological counseling over this past year has been effective. In another two or three years, you’ll be able to return to normal. Why do you have to take risks?"
Doctor Sun also advised, "Mr. Yan, please have a little more patience... This detoxification therapy is too risky and could have very serious side effects."
"But it will work, right?" Yan Sijue interrupted him, "I know you’ve been researching this for a long time."
"But I haven’t carried out any clinical trials yet... It’s too risky!" Doctor Sun still disagreed.
"I’ve seen your experimental data. I think the possibility of success is over sixty percent, and for me, that percentage is already high enough," Yan Sijue said calmly.
"Si Jue!" Lan Yueru pleaded, "We’ve already come this far, why not just wait a little longer... Hasn’t this year been okay?"
Yan Sijue gave a self-deprecating smile, "No."
He wasn’t okay at all.
This kind of life was like living dead each day. He was like a robot, sealing away all his emotions, even his heart was cold.
Tears streamed down Lan Yueru’s face.
She seemed unable to hold on any longer, she sat down supporting herself with the sofa, "I’m sorry... It’s all my fault..."
Since parting from Yiliang, Si Jue began receiving psychological treatment. Lan Yueru only found out for the first time through Doctor Sun that the root of Si Jue’s psychological issues was actually from the time of the Ghost Market...
Unloveability, unable to be loved.
At that time, Doctor Sun told her that this was the crux of Si Jue’s psychological imbalance. Subconsciously, he believed he was not welcome, not worth being loved, which is why he exhibited extreme behavior in intimate relationships. He had a strong desire to possess and control, with a heart forever in fear and unrest, perpetually unsatisfied... because he didn’t believe he could be loved.
Including her, the only relative by Si Jue’s side during his childhood, even she never made him feel loved.
Lan Yueru, in a daze, found she couldn’t recall how she treated Si Jue at the Ghost Market.
It seemed... like a kind of numbness. She wouldn’t blame him and would try her best to care for him, but never felt joy because of his presence. Si Jue must have seen it all, right?
The root was buried at that time. He knew he wasn’t welcome, even his biological mother regarded him as a burden. Later, her choice to commit suicide was even more a fatal blow to him...
After returning to the Yan Family, there were only hostile and malicious gazes all around.
What she owed Si Jue, perhaps she could never make up for...
Lan Yueru covered her face, her shoulders trembling lightly.
Yan Sijue bent down, gently wrapped his arms around her shoulders, "Mom, don’t worry, I know what I’m doing."
In fact, throughout this entire year, the compassion and attempts of Lan Yueru to make amends had not gone unnoticed by him.
It did have some effect; he could feel the dark wounds inside him being gradually soothed, but his emotional world was a desert, and Lan Yueru’s efforts, to him, were merely a drop in the ocean.
Too slow, he didn’t have the time to wait.
"Si Jue... don’t try to comfort me!" she sobbed, "I asked Doctor Sun. I know what the detoxification therapy entails! If you go through with it, your personality will be incomplete!"