novelraw Chapter 355: The “Worst Movie” of All Time is Officially Announced
Chapter 355: The “Worst Movie” of All Time is Officially Announced
Chapter 355: The "Worst Movie" of All Time is Officially Announced
Jiang Ci held his phone half a meter away, waiting for Lin Wan's roaring sound wave to pass before pressing it back to his ear.
He calmly glanced outside the door and said into the phone:
"Sister Wan, lower your voice, you'll disturb the neighbors."
After saying that, he hung up.
Within ten minutes, the dilapidated iron door of Gu Zhiyuan's home was being pounded from the outside with mountain-shaking force.
Lin Wan barely managed to squeeze past the paparazzi in the hallway.
When she charged into this room that was comparable to a landfill,
the man with a stubbly beard and a haggard appearance,
and the top-tier Film Emperor who should have been enjoying life in a luxury penthouse suite,
were squatting side by side on the floor.
Each held a cup of instant noodles, slurping the noodles with complete disregard for anyone else.
Steam curled up, creating a bizarrely harmonious scene.
Lin Wan's temples throbbed, her vision went dark,
and she leaned against the doorframe to stop herself from exploding on the spot.
Seeing her, Jiang Ci quite considerately picked up another cup from the instant noodle box beside him and waved it at her.
"Sister Wan, it's braised beef flavor. Want some?"
Lin Wan leaned against the doorframe, taking several deep breaths in succession,
before barely suppressing the urge to pry open Jiang Ci's skull and take a look inside.
She felt she would sooner or later have a heart attack from being angered by this ancestor who never followed the script.
Gu Zhiyuan put down his cup of noodles.
He had completely calmed down, the earlier dejection crushed by reality swept away.
He stood up, pulled out a handwritten document from under a pile of discarded drafts, and handed it to Lin Wan.
Lin Wan took it suspiciously, looked down, and her eyes sharpened.
It was a contract, more like a "indenture contract."
Party A: Spark Media.
Party B: Gu Zhiyuan.
The terms were shockingly simple and brutal.
"Party B, Gu Zhiyuan, voluntarily agrees to direct 'King of Extras' without receiving any director's salary."
"Party B promises to waive all box office profit sharing and any potential prize money from future awards for the film."
"Party B's sole requirement: retain final editing rights for the film. If Party A interferes, the contract is void immediately."
Lin Wan had seen countless harsh clauses, but she had never seen anyone sign such an overlord contract for themselves.
This wasn't a contract; it was clearly a gambler's final letter, staking his entire fortune and life.
"You..." Lin Wan wanted to say something but felt her throat go dry.
Jiang Ci walked over, took the contract from Lin Wan's hand,
didn't even look at it, directly flipped to the Party B signature section, pointed at the three characters for Gu Zhiyuan,
then handed the pen to Lin Wan, his gaze brooking no argument:
"Sister Wan, sign. We'll stamp the official seal back at the office. He's one of us now."
"Pleasure working with you, Director Gu."
Gu Zhiyuan stared at those two words, remaining silent for a long time.
Then, he rushed into the cramped, peeling-wall bathroom.
Soon, the sound of an old-fashioned razor scraping skin and "snip-snip" noises came from inside.
A few minutes later, the door opened.
Gu Zhiyuan walked out.
His beard was shaved clean, his greasy long hair cut short.
When he stepped out of the shadows, though still gaunt, his posture was ramrod straight, his jaw tight,
the entire person exuding a fierce, "Burning the Boats and Smashing the Cauldrons" determination.
Lin Wan looked at this completely transformed man, feeling somewhat dazed.
That afternoon, Spark Media's official Weibo account posted an earth-shattering announcement.
"Spark Media's new major work, comedy film 'King of Extras,' is about to launch. Director: Gu Zhiyuan, Lead Actor: Jiang Ci."
No poster teaser.
Just a black background with white text image, featuring two names.
One was the dazzling new Film Emperor.
The other was the box office poison forgotten by the industry for years.
As soon as the news broke, Jiang Ci's Weibo comment section and related topics were detonated.
The trending chart was flooded with a string of black "EXPLOSIVE" tags.
#Jiang Ci Has Been Cursed#
#The Worst Movie of All Time Officially Announced#
#Tragic Film Emperor Destroys His Own Great Wall#
#Gu Zhiyuan Get Out of the Film Industry Circle#
The entire internet went crazy.
Jiang Ci's fans were convinced their idol was being drained by Spark Media and the washed-up director working together.
Bystanders were full of mockery, thinking Jiang Ci got cocky after becoming popular and started engaging in performance art ordinary people couldn't understand.
"Jiang Ci's choice is the first step from the altar to the Abyss, and also the fastest step."
"A tragic actor performing in a comedy is itself a tragedy. Moreover, the one at the helm is Gu Zhiyuan."
That Manager Li who had once intercepted Jiang Ci at the variety show filming location even publicly voiced his opinion on his personal Weibo, with a photo of him raising a glass on a yacht.
"It's good for young people to have ideas, but they also need to distinguish between art and suicide."
"Let Gu Zhiyuan direct? I might as well throw that money into the sea; at least I'd hear a splash."
This Weibo post was frantically reposted, becoming the last straw that broke investor confidence.
Spark Media, conference room.
Lin Wan hung up the last withdrawal-of-funding call and slammed her phone on the table.
She looked around the room, at the silent Gu Zhiyuan and Jiang Ci who was studying the script with his head down,
the stifling frustration and anger in her chest almost erupting.
She was also panicking internally, panicking terribly.
But when she met Jiang Ci's still calm and resolute gaze,
all her panic was instantly replaced by a fierce, all-or-nothing determination.
"If they won't invest, then they won't invest!"
Lin Wan gritted her teeth, slapped the table, her cheeks flushed with excitement.
"If there's no money, we'll invest ourselves! I'll spend my own money to make this film! I don't believe it, I have to win this fight today!"
Three days later, the first formal preparatory meeting for 'King of Extras' was held in Spark Media's smallest conference room.
Three attendees.
Gu Zhiyuan took out the storyboard sketches he had drawn after pulling two all-nighters, a thick stack.
Lin Wan felt her scalp go numb as soon as she opened the first page.
The artistic style was bizarre, oppressive.
A close-up: the protagonist "Chen San's" face was stepped into the mud by a large foot, muddy water spilling from the corner of his mouth, fingers feebly clawing at the ground.
Next shot: Chen San hung in mid-air as a human punching bag, a numb smile on his face.
Lin Wan's fingers stiffened as she turned the page. She closed the storyboard notebook, looking up and staring intently at Gu Zhiyuan:
"Director Gu, I have to remind you, what we've greenlit is a comedy! Not some dark human nature documentary!"
Gu Zhiyuan didn't speak, just flipped to a certain page and pointed at a scene.
In the picture, Chen San was being chased by a dog on the film set, fleeing in panic, crashing headfirst into a prop wall, the wall collapsing and burying him underneath.
"This doesn't match the film's tone," Jiang Ci said suddenly, looking at the storyboard. "The 'King of Extras' script is actually a tragedy disguised as a comedy."
"Just being crushed by a wall isn't impactful enough. He should step on a banana peel while being chased by the dog." Jiang Ci gestured with his finger on the table.
"The falling action needs rhythm, falling apart section by section, finally landing face-first, sliding three meters, kissing dog poop."
Upon hearing this, Gu Zhiyuan's previously dim eyes immediately lit up.
He picked up a pen and quickly modified the sketch, muttering to himself: "Right! Then the dog charges over, not to bite him, but to lick his face! Chen San even has to give the dog a grateful smile!"
"Not enough," Jiang Ci shook his head. "After the dog licks him, he struggles to get up, faces the camera and delivers his line: 'Thanks, bro, for the polishing service.' As he says it, a bird dropping falls right into his open mouth."
"Good!" Gu Zhiyuan slapped his thigh. "Then he can't spit it out, he has to swallow it! And give a thumbs-up to the sky! That's the resilience of a little guy!"
The two of them went back and forth, discussing various "spectacularly tragic deaths" and funny acting methods, the atmosphere bizarrely enthusiastic.
Lin Wan sat to the side, her temples throbbing.
As the "birth mother" screenwriter of 'King of Extras,'
half her soul was screaming: "Stop! What are you turning my heartwarming comedy into!",
while the other half of her soul was scalped by the extreme, morbid sparks of humor colliding between these two madmen.
Just as the two were discussing "how Chen San can maintain a smile while being repeatedly trampled as a human cushion by background actors," Lin Wan finally couldn't take it anymore.
She slapped a document on the table with a "bang," interrupting their madness.
It was a budget sheet.
Lin Wan pointed at a glaring red deficit on it, almost squeezing the words out from between her teeth:
"Two geniuses, hold on a second."
"Even with Director Gu's zero salary, Jiang Ci's zero salary, but the sets, equipment, post-production, background actors... all the costs combined,"
"We still have a funding gap of at least thirty million."
"The company just signed a batch of newcomers because of your previous explosive popularity, all the liquid funds are tied up, we simply can't fill this hole."
Jiang Ci looked at the glaring deficit on the budget sheet, silent for a moment.
He looked at Lin Wan, his gaze unprecedentedly serious:
"Sister Wan, my salary can also be waived. If that's still not enough, the endorsement fees I received before can all be invested."
Lin Wan shook her head. "This isn't a problem the three of us can solve by emptying our pockets."
She looked at the two of them, stood up, and grabbed her jacket from the back of the chair. "Come with me."