The Kingpin's Possession

68: Dealing with His Insecurities

Kit:Soon, Kit was back in the passenger seat with Kim behind the wheels, heading back to the Ayutthaya mansion. He drove at a calmer pace this time, even though Kit could tell he was anything but calm on the inside.

“P’Kim,” Kit called, head leaning against the window.

Kim drummed his fingers on the steering wheel as they waited for the traffic lights to turn green. “Yes? What is it?”

“Do you think this is a good idea?” he asked. “We will be putting my friends in danger just to catch one person. I don't think… well, this might just be a small issue, but I don’t think it’s fair to my friends to head into this without any clue as to what they are getting into.”

Kim nodded. “I get where you’re coming from,” he said. “But that shooter is getting bolder and stronger as the days go by anyway. The more confident they get, the more dangerous they will become. But letting your friends in on the plan can create panic and lead them to cancel the plan altogether, and that can alert the shooter that we may be onto them. Chiang Mai is our best bet right now, but yeah, we must first regroup and think of all possible angles before making our move.”

He cast a quick glance at Kit and noticed that he didn’t really look easily convinced.

“Well, it's only a matter of time before the shooter starts targeting your friends as well,” Kim added, watching Kit’s brows draw together in worry. “But we will try our best to get to them before that happens.”

Kit nodded his head, but worry made his heart thunder painfully inside his chest. His friends didn't know the extent of the situation, and it even less fair on them if Kit didn’t do anything to protect them, when he already knew they would be in danger.

However, Kit felt another wave of guilt wear him down as he realized that his friends were in danger because of him. Moreover, he was going to lead them into even more danger by going to the holiday villa, when he knew that danger would be waiting for them.

What if something bad happened? What if P’Kim and P’First weren’t able to get to them in time?

He was saved from further self-deprecation when Kim placed a reassuring hand on his shoulder. “Don’t worry too much, okay?” He managed a small smile. “Leave it to me and P’First—we won’t be going into battle half-assed, without a plan. We will oversee every necessary detail before we do anything to retaliate. We don’t want to risk any innocent lives while you boys are under our care.”

Kit nodded. “I know,” he said. “And I trust you.”

They spend the rest of the ride home in silence. They had nothing else to talk about other than the recent events, and it was the last thing that they wanted to be discussing at that moment.

Kit looked out the window at the mansion looming closer and the familiar guards at the door who opened the gate and bowed when they saw Kim behind the wheel.

When they finally got out of the car and entered the living room, Kanya ran down the stairs, all but knocking Kit off of his feet when she hurriedly pulled him into her embrace. “Thank god, you’re alright!” she exclaimed in relief. “I was so worried when you two didn’t show up last night! I would never forgive myself if something ever had happened to either of you!”

P’Kla stood behind her, merely nodding to acknowledge their arrival, his hands in his pockets as he looked at them almost fondly. Kim could tell that something about his brother had changed and he couldn’t help but sigh in relief.

When Kit looked at him from over Kaya’s shoulder, Kim couldn’t help but chuckle at the face he was making.

“I called her last night to let her know that you’re fine and I was taking you to one of my condos,” Kim said with a shrug. “But she seemed to be worried that I may be doing something ‘incomprehensible’ to you.”

Kaya looked back at Kim with narrowed eyes. “As if you weren’t!”

Tears glistened in Kit's eyes as he realized how his insecurities had made a fool of him. Getting jealous of his own sister had been so stupid. Letting his insecurities swallow him whole was even more so. This was his sister—she would never do anything to purposely hurt him. Why had he ever thought that was possible?

In that moment, he realized, however late, that he was no longer pained to see P’Kanya. The ugly thoughts that had consumed and plagued him just yesterday were now gone. Kit hoped that they were permanently extinct and not only overshadowed by the incidents that had happened last night.

Speaking of which… Kit realized that since he was away with P’Kim all night, P’Kanya didn’t really know what had happened and he would prefer it she never found out. After all, she was pregnant, and this news would only make her even more worried.

Kit met P’Kim’s eye, and with a nod of their head, they silently decided not to tell the expecting mother in case it caused her any distress. P’Kla however, noticed the look they shared and could immediately tell that something was wrong.

So as Kit pulled away from Kanya’s fussy embrace, P’Kla said, “Kim. Can I talk to you? Let’s go to the office for a bit.”

“What about?” Kim asked as he followed his older brother to the other room. Kit made a move to follow, but Kanya was already pulling him upstairs. She dragged him to her room, forcing him to sit on her bed as she shut the door, making sure no one would disturb them.

“Arai waPhi,“Listen.” P’Kanya put a hand up to interrupt him. “Let me speak first. I have something important to tell you.”

“Uh… okay.” Kit was suddenly nervous, not knowing where this was going. Did anything happen while they were away? Was it some kind of bad news?

She took a deep breath before she spoke out all at once. “Please trust me when I say this…but I have absolutely no interest in Kim whatsoever. Even if I am the one carrying his child, I do not like or love him the way you do. You know very well as everyone else does, that this pregnancy and wedding is to help Kim and keep his relatives from getting control of his…business.”

Kit laced his fingers together, falling silent so he could listen to his sister intently. He kept his eyes on the floor; unable to look her in the eye. He knew he couldn’t deny P’Kanya’s words, because that is exactly the reason why he had left last night.

“I will always see and think of him as nothing more than my best friend and my brother, Kit,” she continued, sitting on the space beside him so she could put an arm around his shoulders. “You have nothing to fear, nongseen If P’Kanya hadn’t snuck in that little joke, Kit might have full-on cried. Instead, he snorted and nudged her. “Stop,” he said, giggling.

“So are we good now?” P’Kanya asked. There was something about sisters and how they were able to sense others emotions without having to be told—or maybe it was just a P’Kanya thing. Whatever it was, Kit was grateful for it.

He turned to hug her, and this time he knew in his heart that he was genuinely happy. “I’m sorry for acting immature and childish,” he mumbled, voice muffled against her neck. It almost cost me and my friends’ lifePhiShe rubbed his back gently. “You weren’t being immature and childish, Kit,” she said. “What you felt was justified and valid. If I had been in your shoes, I would have felt the same. I swear. But I’m so glad we finally have these misunderstandings behind us now!”

She pulled away, her hands on either side of his shoulder. She held his gaze as she said, “In the future, if you are feeling such doubts again, you have to tell me, okay? You have to tell your Phi naChan sanyaKit smiled. “Pom sanya, PhiAnd as she pulled him in for another hug, Kit felt all his worries and insecurities wash away slowly like the tide.

Maybe things will be just fine, after all.