novelraw Chapter 618: Contradiction
Chapter 618: Contradiction
"Ah, I feel the factor triggering my death might be the thought 'I want to live on'?"
"..."
Fisher and Eimhart on his shoulder froze simultaneously. Yet at this moment, when Holland spoke this sentence, he appeared exceptionally calm. He merely turned his head looking at the distant magma, letting the scorching heat and brightness produced by that magma strike his face, bringing some warm colors to his originally pale, living-corpse-like cheeks.
"This is truly..."
Eimhart couldn't help but complain, and Holland completely accepted his words,
"Fate makes fools of people?"
"That's a bit of what I meant, but how is this possible?"
"Who knows?"
Holland cracked his knuckles, yet his mind had already thought through certain matters. He also gradually opened his heart to Fisher,
"In the place where I lived, there was war and famine every day. It was to have a mouthful of food to eat that I chose to leave my hometown and finally join the Cult believing in Hela. I merely had to tie my head to my waistband, keeping company with those lunatics. Actually, in essence, it was also to be able to survive... The members of those Cults would randomly assign numbers to members prepared for rituals to determine the sequence. I was relatively lucky but also relatively unlucky; I drew the last number..."Therefore, after that, I watched the people lined up in front die tragically in experiments while simultaneously counting down on my fingers the days before it was my turn to perform the ritual. By now, I have already forgotten what kind of feeling that was, merely feeling what those counted down times should have meant to me... It should have been the desire for survival. Thus, as the time arrived, I finally couldn't overcome the fear of death and escaped from the Cult early, yet was caught by them during the escape process..."
Fisher also finally realized where Holland's stolen death came from. When he chose to escape the Cult because of the desire for survival and was caught, his death had already arrived. And Agreas also took his death away at that time,
"So, right now, in your inner heart you actually want to live on, right, Holland?"
"... Mm."
Holland pondered for a long time before seemingly confirming his thought with a sigh of relief. But Fisher didn't know whether he should congratulate him.
According to the concept of normal people, being able to live on was of course a matter worthy of joy. However, Holland's expression right now was extremely complex, making Fisher somewhat unable to grasp his thoughts.
Sure enough, in the next moment, Holland looking at the magma still spoke again,
"But I still decide to go die, Fisher."
"Hey, say it ain't so big bro. Didn't you just say you wanted to live on? Why the sudden change? Do you have split personalities?"
Eimhart opened his mouth, subsequently complaining somewhat speechlessly like this. Fisher didn't speak, merely casting an inquiring gaze at him.
Holland also laughed humorously. He shook his head and explained,
"Agreas stole away the factor triggering me, also leaving me forever in those days waiting for death in the Cult. I feel I am still in that cage, placing myself on the death list for a few days of full meals, waiting for someone to call my name and take me out. The death Agreas snatched away merely made the people lining up in front of me become infinitely many, making my inner heart become as placid as an ancient well. But, Fisher, I am already destined to be unable to escape this cage.
"How I think inside and the reality's outcome are an inevitable contradiction to me. When I want to live on, the death I lost will return. And when I want to go to my death, my everything will remain static like before... naturally also including death. It's just like a choice: either anxiously and urgently waiting for the nearly infinite numbered deaths in front, or fearfully, to survive, prematurely drawing the next number of death."
He fell silent for a moment. Reaching into his embrace, he took out an antiquated book with the words "Death Completion Manual" engraved on the cover, placing it before Fisher, another person who could see it,
"Fisher, if it were you, how would you choose?"
"... I would also choose to go die."
Fisher was silent for a moment, only then looking at Holland's eyes and saying,
"The latter might be a mistake, but the former, you have already practically experienced its pain and want to break away from it. If choosing either will bring regret, it's better to choose that option that does right by your past self, which is [Death]."
Holland smiled. He lowered his head and murmured,
"Mm, indeed makes sense. As expected of a scholar from Naris... But perhaps doing this makes me instead the [normal] one."
"Why?"
"Mm, because the arrival of death is sometimes inherently a contradiction with your thoughts. When you want to seek death, your life will subconsciously resist, bringing you extreme fear to make you give up this thought. Yet when you want to live on, no matter how your life struggles, to it it's just like a flickering candle flame, extinguishable with one blow. If this is the case, then let me die in contradiction."
At this moment, even Sir Book Artifact, this ordinarily talkative fellow, stopped being talkative. Fisher also maintained his silence. He opened his mouth, right as he wanted to say something, Holland again raised his hand and pointed in the upward direction, his expression also becoming somewhat more serious,
"Moreover, the situation up above right now is extremely severe. The Crevice has already begun to collapse. Although burning has a process, and moreover the Crevice is still Dagon's domain, He might be able to delay the time to a certain extent. But the destruction of the Crevice is definite. This might just be a start, especially since that undying old geezer also said, as long as these manuals still exist, the destruction will not stop...
"There are a total of six manuals, respectively corresponding to six origins of Chaos with different properties. Currently the whereabouts of four are clear. The Destiny Completion is with the old geezer, Death is with me, Life and Soul are with you. Whereas the Cardinal and the former President's Magic manual have unknown whereabouts. But based on the old geezer's research over these several thousands of years, their whereabouts are highly likely related to the Spirit World."
Six Completion Manuals, six origins of Chaos with different properties...
Fisher suddenly thought of the reminder Demi-Human Girl Con left for him through Cidi. She said "The existence attempting to destroy the world is 'one' or 'six'". If the six were the origins of these six Completion Manuals, then what was that "one" of the "or"?
"There's another matter. Previously, the method that whatever Baimon Demon God used to release the two Demon Gods wasn't the Base."
"Mm, I know this..."
Fisher already knew this matter just now when Eimhart talked about the emergency situation at that time. But he was just considering whether he still wanted to go ask Helaire about this matter, or not reveal this matter to Helaire and go investigate clearly himself, because even if he went to ask Helaire he couldn't confirm whether the answer he got was true or false.
Fisher had already decided to go collect all the Completion Manuals and attempt to resolve the World-Ending Prophecy his own way. He already knew the World-Ending Prophecy was related to those females he knew, because they were originally the people appearing in the prophecy of the Demi-Human Completion Handbook. What if Helaire still considered making him give up the World-Ending Prophecy to preserve himself, would he let go?
Rather than getting an answer whose truth or falsehood was unknown, it was better to wait for him to go find clues himself.
"... Mm, I know your relationship with that Baimon Demon God is unusual, but at this time I won't judge your private life. But if you don't want to exchange thoughts with her, I actually have a clue here that might be related to the method she used to release Agreas and Barbatos."
Hearing Holland mention Fisher's private life, Eimhart instantly perked up, wanting to speak like sharing experiences and self-thoughts with a fellow enthusiast. But Fisher had already anticipated his movement, gently reaching out his hand to grab him who wanted to speak,
"What clue?"
Holland pondered for a moment, subsequently questioning,
"It's just... mm, Fisher, have you ever heard of an Elf named 'Gui'?"
Fisher's pupils contracted slightly, and his brows also subconsciously furrowed,
"The youngest of those three Elf children."
"I don't know her. Only previously when Priest Jasmine used the power of the Base to expand into the Dynasty, I could similarly sense the situation within the Dynasty. Jasmine said she didn't sense the effect the Base was producing, so I investigated the situation of Barbatos's and Agreas's original seals. Then, I found two pieces of wood containing strange power at their locations. Gui wood, it should be related to the main body of a certain Elf... That kind of wood seemingly can produce a certain reaction with the Mother Goddess's power, which is why they were able to escape."
"..."
Gui's power could break the Mother Goddess's seal?
With Holland saying this, Fisher also suddenly remembered a matter.
Gui and Renee's appearances were identical, and right now Gui's whereabouts were still unknown. The Infinity Authority even birthed a new consciousness from death. Then could the Mother Goddess and Gui have produced some kind of connection?
And coincidentally, Helaire had met Gui, and even possessed a mirror Gui gave her. She even told her that she was the key to resolving the World-Ending Prophecy...
Fisher seemingly figured out the underlying logic, just not too clear why Gui's power could distort the Mother Goddess's seal, and what kind of relationship Gui and the Mother Goddess had.
"I know now. Thank you, Holland, this is a very crucial clue..." Fisher nodded and took a deep breath, subsequently asking Holland, "If you have already decided on what to do, what else can I help you with?"
Holland pondered for a moment. He stood up looking upwards, turning his head to say to Fisher,
"I indeed need you to assist me with one last favor... Right now you should also want to go meet Priest Jasmine and Queen Raphaela who are outside the Dynasty. Then let's go, we'll go above ground first and then I'll tell you the specifics."
Fisher also stood up and agreed, because he was indeed worried about Raphaela and Jasmine above and needed to confirm their status.
"Eliog?"
He turned his head wanting to notify the Eliog behind them. But calling her twice she didn't move. When Fisher jumped up to look, he discovered she had already fallen asleep sprawled out on her back, her mouth slightly parted inhaling and exhaling, looking like she was sleeping soundly.
"..."
"Whoosh whoosh whoosh!!"
Above the sky of the Southern Continent, a massive void was constantly spreading. That feeling of a certain space being burned was unfeelable by other ordinary living creatures. In the eyes of humans and demi-humans in the Southern Branch Mountain Range, they couldn't even realize what happened.
Miniscule individuals completely lost the ability to feel and measure before terrifying power. They could only let their survival instincts drag them to dodge. Only after the dust had settled and they happened to survive by fluke, could they use their limited senses to feel the traces left all around...
At this moment, the torrential rain finally stopped. After a day and a night passed, the sky of the Southern Continent cleared up anew, illuminating brightly the Southern Branch Mountain Range that got pierced through and oddly shaped overnight.
Living creatures couldn't see through the burning Crevice above, so they could only use the spreading Scarlet Mist within the Crevice for identification, thinking a red cloud that wouldn't dissipate and was currently spreading had merely appeared in the sky.
Human armies routed in their entirety. It would probably take fleeing several dozens to hundreds of miles northward to continuously report the situation here back. Natural disaster appearing, commander missing, massive army routing were the keywords. The Dragon Court's side was also roughly the same because Eliog and Barbatos fought all the way from here to the grand rear end of the Southern Continent. Therefore they also couldn't form formations, not to mention they also couldn't find their two leaders Raphaela and Jasmine. Right now they were still rescuing the wounded and calculating losses, while some troops were searching for the Queen on the battlefield below.
Fisher, Holland, and Eimhart very quickly passed through a portal out of thin air to arrive above ground.
Previously after Eliog fell asleep, Fisher could only bring Holland to return to find Helaire first. He needed a portal to leave the Dynasty.
And Helaire also generously gave the rune for the portal outside her palace to Fisher. Borrowing this piece of rune, Fisher could open a portal leading to her palace at any location on the Southern Continent.
Just upon coming out, Fisher's attention was attracted by that extremely oppressive Crevice rift above his head. Just like Holland said, the Crevice was collapsing, but it still required a certain amount of time.
Looking at this momentum, estimating it could still hold out... one or two months?
Fisher looked at that Crevice rift that had already spread to several hundreds of miles in radius after a day and a night, his expression also appearing somewhat serious.
"Fisher!!"
Exactly at this time, a silhouette assessing this side first appeared not far away. Subsequently, Jasmine's shouting voice also quickly transmitted over, making Fisher hurriedly look toward that side.
He stepped on the ground and hurriedly went to Jasmine's side. Looking at her face completely covered in sand and dust formed by the storm Barbatos whipped up previously, even her blue hair above accumulating some dust, yet still unable to conceal her joy and elation upon seeing Fisher. Just upon landing she threw herself into his embrace,
"Jasmine..."
"Great, Fisher, it's really great that you're fine!"
Jasmine buried her head in his embrace. Subsequently she suddenly thought of something, pointing at the sand dune not far away saying,
"Raphaela is right over there. Previously because she was affected inside the Demon Dynasty, her progress was particularly slow, to the point she hasn't awakened until now... But it should be soon. Raphaela will also immediately arrive at the Mythical level of life."
Jasmine first spoke happily like this, but very quickly her expression again revealed some imperceptible loneliness.
Because she hadn't reached Mythical yet, still circling before the doors of the Mythical Rank. Although she indeed felt genuinely happy for Raphaela, comparing herself who remained stagnant, she would still feel somewhat disappointed.
Fisher noticed her thoughts. He hugged her tightly into his embrace, whispering,
"It's alright, Jasmine. Previously if it wasn't for you I might have died down below, thank you."
"Hehe..." Hearing Fisher's praise, Jasmine's mood improved a bit again. She nodded and said, "Although it seems I didn't help much, being the first person Teacher Fisher thanked is also very worth it."
"..."
Mm, but hadn't he already thanked Eliog just previously?
Forget it, it's alright. Let's just go with what Jasmine said.
"Sir Book Artifact! Mr. Holland! You guys are also fine... oh, I almost forgot Mr. Holland's situation."
Holland smilingly nodded at Jasmine. Subsequently he raised his head looking at the sky, looking at that illusory Scarlet Mist, looking at the sunlight falling from within it and the clouds shuttling through it. Finally he took a deep breath, turning his head saying to Jasmine and Fisher,
"Then this will be it. It's also time to say goodbye. Priest Jasmine, goodbye."
"Eh? What do you mean?"
Jasmine pursed her lips, still not understanding what Holland meant. Yet Eimhart flew to her shoulder and shook his head to her.
"Are you in such a hurry?"
"Ah, I'm not too clear either, but I feel right now is the most suitable time. After all, haven't I waited for so long already?"
"... True." Fisher smiled bitterly. Subsequently he left Jasmine's side and walked toward him, asking, "Is there anything I can help with?"
"Mm, come over here with me. Then, I need a blade, then you use that blade to decapitate me, just like an execution."
At the end, Holland added another sentence,
"The ritual I drew back then was precisely the Beheading Ritual. That group of lunatics thought dying decapitated, consciousness detached from the body, could approach Hela closer."
"... I understand. Then give me a bit of time, I will prepare the blade."
"It's fine, I also need to make a bit of preparation."
Holland smiled palely. Subsequently he walked a distance away with Fisher, taking off his outerwear, followed by his shirt, until completely exposing his extremely emaciated, malnourished, and hunchbacked upper body.
Fisher was silent for a moment before sitting on a mound of dirt to the side. At the same time he took out Aoyun's Essential Oil and the Fluid Sword's hilt from the Demi-Human Completion Handbook.
That essential oil was completely colorless, packaged in a glass bottle exactly like a bottle of clear water. It made Fisher skeptically shake the liquid within, somewhat suspecting if Demi-Human Girl Con packaged the wrong thing.
"Haha... Fisher, have you done this kind of thing before?"
"... Executions no, but I have killed others."
"True, in this age every Naris person's body is more or less stained with blood."
After taking off his upper body clothing, he began to forcefully tear his shirt, tearing it into cloth strips with extreme force. This made his malnourished physique somewhat unable to bear it, thus starting to pant heavily.
Fisher smiled faintly. He opened the cap of the essential oil in his hand. Instantly, a pungent smell of quenching fire surged to the tip of his nose, making him move his head away a bit.
He glanced at the Holland whose actions were unknown. He coincidentally saw his calm visage, so he asked,
"Your expression doesn't look like an expression of not wanting to die at all."
"Mm, maybe a little bit. After all, the me in the past who extremely wanted to die was also me. Probably under this kind of circumstance my death won't arrive. Previously when I fell out of the ten gates into the magma, mid-air, I was thinking whether I would fall to my death just like this, felt fear, felt like not wanting to die, and then... I sensed the existence of death. But when I was plunging, I thought again, 'Isn't this what I pursued', just wanting to die like this, yet unexpectedly after falling into the magma I still didn't die..."
"Then you still told me to chop you, what if I have to continuously chop you hundreds of times, until waiting for the time you find you don't want to die?"
"There is this possibility."
"..."
Holland panted while tearing down a long strip of cloth, joking with Fisher. Subsequently he held that cloth strip and turned his head to look at Fisher, saying,
"You can begin."
Immediately following, he knelt on the ground while wrapping the cloth strip around his eyes, wrapping circle after circle, binding tightly.
And Fisher also lowered his head, dripping the essential oil drop by drop onto his Fluid Sword.
Originally Fisher thought there was such a large bottle of this essential oil, he only needed one or two drops to repair the Fluid Sword, the rest could be preserved for future use. The result was dripping one or two drops was totally useless, just as useless as middle-aged gentlemen in Naris with male dysfunction drinking a tiny drop of Dragon-kin blood.
Simply taking the plunge, he poured all the essential oil onto the hilt of the Fluid Sword.
Miraculously, those essential oils falling on the Fluid Sword were entirely absorbed by it. Not a single drop fell onto the ground or Fisher's hand, instead all entering within.
And immediately following, that Fluid Sword which had been sluggish for a long time finally grew bit by bit with the help of the "virility booster" under Fisher's expectant gaze. That mercury-like blade finally expanded anew, revealing its sharpness.
Looking at the prepared "tool of torture" in his hand, Fisher only then slowly walked toward Holland who was kneeling on the ground with his upper body bare, with his back to him.
He lowered his head, placing his hands clasped behind his back. The spine that was already deformed from his hunched back became extremely prominent at this moment due to his emaciation.
"When should I chop, do you need a preparation given to you?"
"... Don't need to. But best wait a little while longer. A while later, no need to tell me the time, just make your move."
"Alright..."
Fisher took a deep breath, raising the blade, aiming it at Holland's neck. Jasmine watching all this not far away also held her breath and covered her mouth.
"... Safe travels, Mr. Holland Dionysus."
"..."
Holland didn't reply anymore, merely lowering his head.
The wind of the Southern Continent was always clamorous, let alone at this moment when a storm was brewing. Yet inside Holland's ears it was dead silent, even a loud noise resembling tinnitus emerged.
The beauiful moments of the past constantly replayed in his head, attempting to use this method to awaken hope for life, fear of death, and then following a logical course be able to die.
But unfortunately, he couldn't remember anything. Even his beloved childhood sweetheart Leica couldn't awaken his hope.
She was already dead, and he wasn't yet, so he should go die.
No, why should I be thinking about wanting to die? If that's the case...
Behind him, Fisher's movement didn't move from start to end. Time became exceptionally long drawn-out at this moment, as if every second's increment was extended, making him exceptionally tormented, tormented in the contradiction of forcing himself to think about not wanting to die yet always thinking about wanting to die.
"Buzz buzz buzz..."
But behind him, Fisher's blade didn't fall from start to end. This made Holland also increasingly doubtful why he still hadn't chopped. Because at this moment Holland himself also couldn't confirm it, his true thoughts in his inner heart. He merely looked forward to Fisher hurrying to let the blade fall, freeing him.
"Buzz buzz buzz..."
Yet amidst a sheet of tinnitus and blindfolded darkness, someone suddenly gently patted Holland's shoulder.
Next second, an unfamiliar, calm, somewhat hoarse man's voice suddenly softly sounded beside his ear. That unknown man softly spoke to Holland in Cardo Language,
"Next one, your turn."
"..."
Behind Holland's kneeling body, Fisher—whose voice was altered using Life Chaos—slowly stepped back a pace. Subsequently he gently raised the Fluid Sword in his hand aiming at his neck.
He didn't know what Holland was thinking about. But before the Fluid Sword in his hand fell, Holland's head suddenly split from the neck on its own.
"Puff itchi!"
Amidst splattering of countless blood, Holland's headless body also suddenly lost support and crashed onto the ground, walking into the embrace of death.