novelraw Chapter 600: Eliog's Reason
Chapter 600: Eliog's Reason
On the second floor of Helaire's residence, at the end of the library filled with bookshelves, Fisher leaned back in the soft leather chair that perhaps Helaire had once sat in. His spine rested against the cushion behind him, his head tilted slightly upwards naturally, gazing at the ceiling that appeared somewhat pitch-black because the light from the first floor didn't extend upwards.
On the desktop that Helaire had once used to read books, which was now completely empty save for an Everburning Candle, the Soul Completion Handbook was laid open, falling to the final section where the front was thick and the back was thin. This meant he was about to finish reading all the contents Caleb Uz had left behind.
It was just that at this moment, the words on the pages seemed to have grown legs, refusing to enter his eyes no matter what. Or perhaps he wasn't reading at all, but rather staring at the pages, thinking about other things...
Yes, he was examining his relationship with Helaire.
Perhaps he himself was also well aware that he indeed harbored feelings for Helaire. It was simply because he knew too little about her, unlike having a thorough understanding of the other ladies, which consequently brought about suspicion and unease.
Even regarding the Infinity Authority itself, the reincarnation of the Mother Goddess, Renee, Fisher roughly understood her situation and clear about her personality, having spent a long time together and having truly confided in each other.
Yet Helaire was the sole exception. Having seemingly experienced so much, Fisher still couldn't see her clearly or grasp her, as if she was very, very close to him, yet he could never touch her.
He didn't know why she would fall for him, yet everything he saw upon arriving here was her longing, of which he couldn't tell whether it was genuine or fake.
This contradiction made Fisher somewhat conflicted, ultimately erupting due to the deception discovered earlier.
"Tap tap... tap..."And right at this moment, the sound of footsteps rang out one after another from the stairs Fisher had climbed to get here. In this silent place, it appeared somewhat abrupt, prompting Fisher to immediately open his eyes and look towards the end of the library. The black mud of the soul extending from his hands also slowly retracted back into his body.
He looked at the stairs and quickly caught sight of Eliog walking up from below. She also rapidly sized up the bookshelves hidden in the darkness all around, subsequently fixing her gaze upon Fisher sitting beneath the portrait of "Baimon"'s back.
She pursed her lips, seemingly wanting to say something immediately, but ultimately it turned into a yawn. After her "awoo" sounded, she neither commented on the decoration of Helaire's second floor nor mentioned the name "Baimon," merely asking Fisher,
"What are you doing here, awooo? It's pitch-black..."
Fisher blinked, rubbed his temples, and hastily closed the Soul Completion Handbook. He sat up and said to Eliog,
"Just thinking about some things."
In the darkness, Eliog's pupils, as bright as fire snakes, slightly twisted in her eyes. Only then did she sweep a glance at Helaire's back portrait behind him and ask,
"Thinking about Baimon's matters?"
"Nothing of the sort..."
Fisher subconsciously said so. The natural instinct of a scumbag would obviously prevent him from mentioning another woman in front of a different woman. But after saying it, realizing after the fact that it was a lie, his facial expression underwent some changes...
He was indeed thinking about Helaire just now.
With her arms crossed, Eliog merely looked at Fisher before her without speaking further. Between raising his eyes, upon seeing the gaze with which she looked at him, Fisher naturally knew his words had already been seen through by her. He could only smile helplessly,
"...I was indeed considering her matters."
"What else is there to consider, awooo? Shouldn't all those words she left downstairs just now suit your appetite very well? Although I do hold some prejudice against her due to a demon's disposition, even I have to confirm that those things she did could entirely be out of her true intentions..."
Eliog approached a bit closer. Her bare feet stepped nimbly on the carpet of Helaire's second floor, and thus, like a cat, she didn't make a single sound. Walking towards the desk Fisher was sitting at like this, she added, "But from the looks of it, you're still lost and conflicted."
"...I don't know either, but it shouldn't be considered lost and conflicted, right?"
"If you don't know, then you're lost and conflicted, Fisher."
Fisher opened his mouth, then stopped refuting. He merely leaned back against the soft backrest behind him once more. After a moment of silence, he still confessed to Eliog,
"...I just have some doubts, that's all."
"Doubts about what, awooo?"
Possessing completely zero grace, Eliog leapt up and sat on Helaire's desk. Since there was nothing on it besides a candle anyway.
Relying on that somewhat dim candlelight, Fisher effortlessly saw the fireball on her tail, which was even brighter on the tabletop. That fireball swayed back and forth in the darkness, presumably her tail causing mischief.
And Fisher still remained honest towards Eliog. He pondered for a moment before saying,
"Both you and Eimhart previously said that Helaire only noticed me and placed her sigil on me because she had a special motive regarding me. Although I verbally denied you guys earlier, in truth, from the bottom of my heart, I also truly cannot find a suitable reason to explain her special attention and feelings towards me... It's as if those feelings came out of nowhere, yet indeed possess a certain basis I am unaware of...
"And it's the same for you. I had only known you for a few days, and my tier was even merely slightly higher than a normal human's. I couldn't possibly think of a reason for you, a Demon God of the Eighteenth Tier, to give me your unprecedented first time...
"I have witnessed the mighty power of Mythical Species, and I know that you guys, who cross the long river of time, can easily accomplish things ordinary people cannot imagine. That's why I suspected that everything I experienced, the feelings I thought existed, might all be fabricated and disguised... Which subsequently resulted in a feeling of unease."
Eliog quietly listened to the entirety before smiling and saying,
"Color me a bit surprised, awooo. Firstly, you actually still perceive yourself as a human. Another point is, I always thought people like you only cared about possessing, thereby disregarding the reasons why..."
Simultaneously, following her amusement, her slender tail swept across Fisher's chest bit by bit. Fisher didn't reach out to grab it, merely letting his gaze sway bit by bit along with the fireball in the darkness. "I never expected that, despite originally looking like you'd take a hands-off approach, you actually always hid petty calculations in your heart, awooo. Is this the feigned strength of a male?"
That tiny, somewhat affected yet genuinely existing doubt that finally managed to slip out from his heart was caught by Eliog. But since it had already been spoken, there was no longer any opportunity to retract it. He merely smiled helplessly and continued asking,
"Is there something wrong with me still believing I am a human?"
"No, there's nothing wrong, it's actually a good thing instead."
Eliog retracted her tail, saying, "Those who cross tiers post-birth, especially humans like you who rely on Completion Handbooks to twist rules, find it very easy to forget their original intentions. Once one forgets where they came from, where they are heading will also become immeasurably perplexing. Thus, those possessing Handbooks are generally downright madmen, a scourge. Since my birth, I have seen too many, and killed too many..."
Fisher swallowed a gulp of saliva, suddenly recalling the scenario of encountering Eliog for the very first time in Old Jack's tavern. That hair-raising, terrifying shudder wasn't an illusion, but Eliog's genuine killing intent.
"As for your other question... what Baimon is thinking, and why she treated you this way, I have absolutely no idea, because essentially she isn't a demon. Although I view her act of affixing a sigil on you as snatching from a brethren, this is merely a part of the Dynasty's long-standing culture... As an angel, whether she was infected by our culture remains unknown... However Fisher, regarding the reason I gave my first time to you, I can tell you right now."
Fisher froze slightly, raising his head to look at Eliog sitting on the desk slightly higher than him. Watching her sluggishness once again recede bit by bit, leaving only her originally heroic and valiant face looking at him earnestly, seemingly waiting for his answer.
Although the time spent with Eliog was very short, her sluggish, cat-like disposition still left a very deep impression on Fisher. So when her expression was exceptionally earnest at this moment, Fisher反而 (instead) found it somewhat unaccustomed. He even subconsciously straightened his sitting posture a bit and asked,
"...When I asked you previously, weren't you still unwilling to speak?"
Eliog tapped her cheek, pouted, and said,
"If you were to take the same question to ask Baimon personally, she would definitely tell you the reason. But as for whether it's genuine... heh heh, nobody can guarantee that. Previously, I was indeed unwilling to tell you directly, because I had some considerations I didn't want to tell you about, and I didn't want to deceive you either... But I've thought it through now, I'll tell you everything about myself."
"Could it be that something I did during this period altered your thoughts?"
"No, it's just that according to my original plan, I believed not telling you was far better than telling you, that's all..."
"I thought it was because of Helaire."
"..." Eliog blinked, then added another sentence, "Awooo, it's partly because of her too. Seeing her holding dominion over me genuinely feels extremely displeasing."
"..."
And after that, Eliog didn't yawn again, merely contemplating for a long time and hesitating for a long time. Then, a question serving as the opening to her explanation was first tossed out. She asked Fisher,
"Fisher, do you know why I love sleeping so much?"
"...Because it's your nature?"
Like a kitten that can never sleep enough.
Eliog shook her tail and her head, merely denying it,
"This is not my fundamental nature, Fisher. Quite the contrary, my choice to sleep is actually a result of a post-birth choice...
"In reality, me, Cidi, and every single demon aside from Baimon don't have any fundamental differences. He has his fundamental nature, and I have mine. He requires carnal desires to feed, while what I require is 'conflict.' Conflicts generated by myself or others both suffice. My power subtly causes surrounding existences to fall into unavoidable competition. Regarding this point, not even my compatriots are spared. I can, and only can, draw an endless stream of power and 'food' (Fallen Self-Nature) from it...
"Therefore, even when I slumber, as long as someone prays to me, even without my response, they will be influenced by my power and massacre one another. Not to mention when my true body appears... Very, very long ago, the rudimentary form of my Authority had already sprouted within my body, only a single step away from the Nineteenth-Tier. I know very well that all I need is a massive-scale war, and I can take this step... But I abhor this. I abhor my fundamental nature, abhor this endless conflict caused by me.
"Call me hypocritical, or call it an excuse. But like Cidi, I indeed detest this instinct that is as simple as eating and drinking to you humans."
Eliog looked expressionlessly at Fisher before her, calmly stating,
"At the very beginning of my birth, I hadn't realized this point yet, instead tirelessly satisfying my fundamental nature like an insatiable greed. To this end, I fought powerhouses everywhere, and fought the weak. I could go all out to defeat Elves and Angels, and I could also use weapons to defeat humans far inferior to me using skill. Back then, day and night, I immersed myself in the pleasure of defeating others, enjoying the humbleness of those far beneath me, washing my victories with the fresh blood of their defeats..."
Her words echoed in the quiet library, seemingly polishing those dust-laden armors and weapons placed in her fortress brightly in this moment.
"Until I sank deeper and deeper into victory, my strength also grew increasingly powerful. While I enjoyed everything in the world passing down my revered name, admitting the joy of being inferior to me... I suddenly discovered that my fundamental nature was twisting everything else I originally paid no mind to..."
Eliog closed her eyes. Her words reaching this point, Fisher could feel a hint of indescribable remorse in her voice.
"Under the influence of my fundamental nature, everything around me was undergoing a change. Yet I back then still hadn't realized this wasn't what I wanted... until my servants killed all the other servants to prove their excellence; until those believers of mine, in order to prove whose sacrifice was the most excellent, slaughtered their wives, children, and parents to place on the sacrificial altar; until men and women didn't hesitate to mutilate their bodies for courtship, proving they were more excellent than the competitor by carving their flesh. Only then did I realize the discomfort.
"When I saw all this, my heart immediately told me that this absolute competition devoid of any bottom line was not what I wanted. But my body, because of drawing upon this endless stream of Fallen Self-Nature, felt an inescapable pleasure. My body demanded more from me, yearning for me to follow my fundamental nature and bring conflict to more innocent living beings..."
The revered name of Demon God Eliog had once resounded throughout the entire world in the past, especially in an era where past myths hadn't perished and the world hadn't ceased its turbulence. Such a combat-capable and belligerent existence was bound to have numerous followers and countless enemies.
But starting from when she herself realized the evil consequences brought by her fundamental nature, that Demon God dominating war and warrior consciousness vanished. Replacing her was a cat-like female demon who remained unknown to the public throughout the long years, knowing only how to sleep.
Perhaps even now to this day, she was still contending against it, merely because she had already grown accustomed to doing so, thereby preventing outsiders from sensing her bloody and combative fundamental nature.
"I harbor an innate Repulsion towards external objects, to the extent of causing external objects to disintegrate on their own. This is the true source of me causing conflicts. And when I realized this point, I commenced an unceasing, sleepless struggle against it... I attempted countless ineffective methods, ultimately only able to entrust my consciousness to slumber, utilizing unconscious sleep to combat my fundamental nature and its influence.
"That being the case, as long as no one approached, there would no longer be any conflicts arising because of me. Even when the Mythical Wars ignited all around, even when the Mother Goddess grew enraged and locked our entire race underground, I hadn't shown my face again... Even when I was sealed, I felt a stroke of luck, because being passively sealed could still provide a guarantee for my not-too-firm willpower...
"But fundamental nature is fundamental nature. I can endure, yet I must unavoidably overcome the pain. That sort of pain is indescribable, it's difficult to suppress. No matter how many times I endures, that spark of conflict will still burst forth within my heart, intending to burn me down completely. Therefore, back then when Agreas came seeking my help, only then did I accept this mission, using my soul to leave the Abyss and hunt down that human possessing a Completion Handbook on the outside. My goal was precisely to alleviate the hunger I had endured for so long inside my body with nowhere to alleviate it..."
Fisher swallowed a gulp of saliva. He suddenly recalled the records and summoning methods regarding Eliog on King Solomon's scroll from earlier, finally understanding the true meaning behind the words "Summons without response." He couldn't help but question,
"Back then in Saint-Nazareth, did you also influence the people with your instinct? Why didn't I feel it at all?"
Eliog smiled faintly and said,
"No, because I had already eaten and drunk my fill back then. Don't forget, when I left the Southern Continent at that time, humanity and the living beings of other races there were engaging in a war over their homeland. The awakened me drew sufficient food from there. Although it also in a certain sense accelerated the progress and intensity of the war there, when I arrived in Saint-Nazareth and officially commenced Agreas's mission, I had already begun my second cycle of overcoming my fundamental nature once again...
"Fisher, you must know, the process of overcoming instinct is a warrior's cycle of agony... This is even more so for me. I can't see the end; I can only struggle amidst enduring time after time, indulging time after time, and the relief following indulgence time after time... Of course, the matters in Saint-Nazareth have nothing to do with me... Aside from the factor of my endurance, another reason was... I ran into you in Serpent's Head Street back then."
Her blazing eyes swept through the darkness, looking straight at Fisher before the desk, causing him to involuntarily mutter,
"Me?"
"Ah, you. Fisher, do you know why Cidi fell so deeply in love with Barbatos, awooo?"
Eliog's gaze emptied as she looked downstairs. It was as if the temperature dropped bit by bit. Answering her own question, she explained,
"Because after meeting Barbatos, Cidi's uncontrollable instinct was finally restrained. He no longer had to draw upon food using such despicable methods, no longer struggling against his instinct... thereby obtaining freedom. This naturally can be interpreted using the so-called 'love,' but he's only at the Fifteenth Tier, the weakness of that instinct can of course be overcome in this manner. But I held no hope for myself, because my instinct was so strong, I believed there existed no existence capable of accommodating me...
"But you're different, Fisher. Upon knowing you possessed a Completion Handbook, upon knowing you used that chaotic power to lock onto my soul (the process of the Demi-Human Completion Handbook binding her), the fundamental nature within my body also gradually awakened step by step, subconsciously influencing the people around me, which was you. I didn't feel anything wrong back then. After all, initially I also believed that you and other people possessing Completion Handbooks were birds of a feather; I even intended to let you voluntarily trigger a conflict with it. Either way, you guys were intrinsically filled with Repulsion to begin with...
"However, I gradually discovered that you wouldn't be influenced by my fundamental nature, not even in the slightest. Furthermore, this Trait wasn't just directed at you; it caused me to completely not influence anyone because of my fundamental nature when I was beside you... You could completely accommodate me, mitigating the fundamental nature that caused me to trigger conflict while preventing me from feeling hungry. Even if I didn't receive a single drop of Fallen Self-Nature, I still wouldn't feel pain."
Fisher's pupils shrank bit by bit. Staring at Eliog sitting on the desktop looking at him, he then heard her next words,
"You are very special to me. Even just from the perspective of your very existence, it was the first time I understood this sort of joy. But the me back then didn't realize this was your special trait; I merely felt that staying by your side was very comfortable and cozy. At certain moments back then, I even thought about just staying by your side like this, throwing Agreas and the other matters to the back of my mind. It wasn't until that guy's (Erwind) flesh-and-blood Chaos creation ran to the entrance of your home that I realized you might fall into danger because of this. Therefore, I had no choice but to leave you...
"So, my decision back then might have been rash, but it wasn't casual, awooo. Say I have no feelings, or say I was utilitarian, but the me back then indeed handed over everything to you for the sake of that coziness and relaxation when I was by your side..."
It was like that back then. But perhaps prior to that, a cat also had to make sure it liked this person's scent first securely.
At this point, Eliog's expression also appeared somewhat embarrassed. Even in the darkness of the library, Fisher still clearly perceived the unnatural pink hue gradually rising on her wheat-colored face.
Following that, acting like a cat that had done something bad, she stole a glance at Fisher, then pouted and continued stubbornly,
"Is there anything wrong with paying attention to you because of these external reasons? Don't you try telling me that doing that sort of thing with me back then was because you understood my inner nature; wasn't it because my appearance also attracted you... Besides, I feel like the experience should be... should've been pretty good?"
Actually, Fisher wasn't thinking about this at all. Instead, he was thinking that it might be precisely because Eliog had absolutely no experience in this regard. If that were the case, if a bad Angel like Helaire acted with this goal in mind, she absolutely could formulate a thousand or ten thousand stratagems to assist her, thereby making Fisher completely devoted to her, confused and dazed... There would be no need to be like Eliog where Fisher says he wants it, and she foolishly gives it to him.
"For demons, the process of overcoming their fundamental nature is very difficult, right?"
Hearing this, Eliog froze slightly, subsequently nodding without avoiding the question,
"It indeed is, awooo... It's the most powerful, most invincible enemy I have encountered since birth. Facing any opponent, even those of a higher tier than me, I could formulate stratagems and methods. Yet towards it alone, I am truly at my wit's end; I can only hide and spend my time sleeping. I have no idea how Cidi managed to do it, but he and Barbatos are indeed the only two successful demons within the Dynasty..."
Cidi and Barbatos, huh...
Fisher vaguely felt that their ability to overcome their demon fundamental nature might be related to the Demi-Human Girl Con; otherwise he wouldn't have helped Fisher like this, choosing neutrality instead of standing on Barbatos's side.
"Cidi's and Barbatos's experiences cannot be imitated, because their fundamental natures are entirely different from mine. Even the fundamental nature of the Demon Gods behind the same door might differ. Only when by your side did I feel a hint of hope. I began to feel 'living like this isn't bad either': you rush about outside, and I sleep waiting for you at home..."
Fisher was also a bit caught between laughter and tears hearing this. Recalling the days in Saint-Nazareth back then, this was entirely equal to raising a super-sized fat cat at home that ate a lot, didn't do any work, and only slept... Anyone would feel quite comfortable with this, wouldn't they?
"Listening to this... you indeed were quite comfortable..."
As Eliog spoke, she also began to feel embarrassed. She rubbed her head, her face beginning to turn red again,
"Can't I even think about it, awooo? Besides, even if you want me to do something, I can learn, as long as it isn't like the past... Moreover, at the time I also genuinely felt that having a Little Demon with you wouldn't be bad either... I'm not talking about those brainless Little Demons without consciousness outside. I mean, a child between you and me wouldn't be bad either."
Fisher opened his mouth, raising his head to lock eyes with Eliog sitting on the desk, separated from him by mere inches.
Beneath the gaze of Helaire's painting behind him, amidst the slight outline of the scent of saltpeter, Fisher involuntarily swallowed a gulp of saliva.
The tail behind Eliog swayed. The atmosphere suddenly plunged into silence, merely that their distance closed in somewhat formlessly as their eyes met.
However, when Fisher's hand, originally placed on the desk, rested gently on her thigh, Eliog suddenly trembled, seemingly startled. She hastily retreated a short distance with a slightly reddened face. Reaching to scratch her cheek, she forced a smile and said,
"...But I'm only a soul now, and my true body is also a Mythical Species. It's impossible to produce offspring, you should know this point?"
"...I know."
Fisher said so, but his hand still didn't leave her thigh. He looked at his own hand and suddenly asked,
"It's just that I'm somewhat curious. Why do I possess the ability to halt your fundamental nature? Could it originate from the Completion Handbook? Or is it that I inherently possess some sort of special property... More than one person has said this about me previously; I can even read more than one Completion Handbook..."
"Who knows? But for demons, that person who can resolve their fundamental nature's existence might only be special to them... Just like Cidi and Barbatos. None of us expected back then that those two existences whose fundamental natures were completely unrelated could actually alleviate each other's fundamental nature. This sort of thing can be found by chance but not sought; your appearance back then indeed felt like a godsend opportunity to me..."
Eliog sized up Fisher before her. Seemingly failing to discover anything special about him, she shook her head and said,
"It's just that the me back then wasn't certain yet if this was a trick of destiny. Because you just had to appear precisely while I was sealed. What's more, our compatibility was so flawless, yet I had to face the reality of having to return to my seal and that you didn't actually belong to me... Or perhaps because of suppressing my fundamental nature for so long, even when Baimon appeared, the moment I saw everything she left behind, I actually thought... perhaps you being with that free, unsealed fellow might also be a correct choice... At least she should be like me, uncaring about the other ladies by your side, or even better than me... she might probably not care about me either?
"But my fundamental nature told me, I don't want to do this. I don't want to concede defeat like this..."
The light in Eliog's eyes remained, but the fiery passion contained within wasn't restricted merely to her eyes anymore; it was as if she intended to ignite the surrounding environment as well.
She exhaled a breath of scorching air, subsequently reaching out lightly to grab Fisher's collar, lowering her head and approaching him bit by bit until her hard horns touched Fisher's forehead, their noses touching as a result...
"...This time, even with you by my side, I don't wish to overcome my fundamental nature anymore."