novelraw Chapter 396: The Loneliness That Accompany Through the Ages
Chapter 396: The Loneliness That Accompany Through the Ages
"Renee..."
"Mmhmm, what's wrong? I'll act and take us away from here when we're a bit further out. This place is still very close to the port, and the place we're going is quite far. The commotion later will probably not be small."
Hearing Fisher's call, Renee at the bow of the boat tapped her cheek with the finger supporting her chin. Thinking Fisher was telling her to take them away, she replied as such.
But Fisher merely shook his head. After his pitch-black eyes turned solemn for a moment, he stood up, walked over to Renee, sat cross-legged in front of her, and said,
"I'm not talking about leaving. I have something else to tell you... In fact, Alagina isn't just a friend I wanted to visit; I treat her as an object of romantic affection. When I left the Southern Ocean on her warship, I had intimate fleshly relations with her. Furthermore, Old Jack didn't ask about our destination this afternoon either. That was just my rhetoric so Alagina wouldn't notice anything amiss."
"Moreover, I've had close relationships with other females as well. The Dragon-kin Raphaela from the Southern Continent, the Whale-kin Jasmine, the Demon-kin Eliog, the Phoenix-kin Valentiina Turan, Elizabeth whom you've met, and Alagina whom we met today. My relationships with them cannot be summarized by the simple word 'friend'..."
Yes, at this very moment, in front of Renee, Fisher still Revealing Everything confessed all his faults.
And Eimhart, who was shrinking behind him ostensibly reading a book but actually intently listening, was so frightened upon hearing Fisher list off the members of his recorded "ex-girlfriend list" one by one that he immediately stopped reading and lay on the ground pretending to be dead, turning invisible.
Actually, from the moment Alagina's messenger was intercepted by Renee, Fisher already completely knew that Renee was actually perfectly clear regarding the relationship between him and Alagina. Otherwise, she wouldn't have come prepared with candies as gifts for Karma and the others. It was just that Fisher still harbored a flute of luck at the time, which indirectly led to the intense confrontation between Renee and Alagina later.
So, looking back and thinking about it, if Renee even knew about Alagina, there was no reason she wouldn't know about the other women. The reason Fisher completely evaded directly admitting everything back at the Pirate Harbor and continued to use rhetoric instead was entirely because of Alagina. Now that it was just him and Renee, Fisher had no need to dodge anymore.This time, he chose to no longer conceal anything, Revealing Everything about his actions to Renee.
Hearing this, Renee cradled her chin. A hint of indistinguishable meaning flashed through her intoxicating purple eyes like fine wine. She made no other movements, merely saying,
"I know everything."
"...Since when?"
"Since the beginning of our acquaintance, every time after we separated. But I didn't go anywhere else. Sometimes I would return to my foothold in the physical world to retrieve something, but most of the time I directly returned to the Spirit World. There, I have my duties to fulfill. I need to monitor the Spirit World Contamination you encountered before, which is why I was forced to leave every so often. When I have some free time in the Spirit World, I would gaze at you, just like how other ancient stars gaze at this beautiful world. So, I know of many things about you..."
"..."
Although he was already prepared, hearing Renee sincerely admit it still left Fisher somewhat surprised and blanking out, not knowing how to reply. Seeing Fisher's appearance, Renee's gaze became somewhat vacant. She continued,
"Don't be so nervous. If I wanted to blame you or get angry at you, I would have already done so long ago. 'This can all be largely blamed on the side effects brought about by those Completion Handbooks you possess', this is how I explained it to myself..."
Fisher raised his eyes to meet Renee's vacant gaze before him. After hesitating for a moment, he nonetheless stated,
"But actually, the Completion Handbooks I possess aren't the true reason. The real reason is my greed. This is my fault."
Renee, cradling her chin, crossed her long, slender legs beneath her black dress. The high heels that originally bound her feet wrapped in black stockings had vanished at some point, revealing only exactly the shape of her jade-like feet that seemed to be enveloped by shadows, and her plump toes. Her fingers continuously tapped her cheek, and she smiled and said,
"I had originally convinced myself already. But after you said it like that, I really will have to blame you..."
Fisher Sit Upright and Still, quietly looking at her with an impassioned look of craning his neck awaiting execution. This caused Renee to laugh, and she lightly kicked his chest. However, her force was Just as Before, not heavy in the slightest. On the contrary, it merely left a slight wrinkle on his shirt.
But other than that, Renee didn't show any other reaction. Fisher raised his eyes to chase after hers, only to see her quietly looking at the bright moon in the distance. After a moment of silence, she softly spoke,
"Fisher, I have suffered greatly from the bitter pain of loneliness in the past. I made an oath with the Gods that could not be revealed to outsiders in the slightest, bringing me binding and responsibility. When I first met you, perhaps it was for the Completion Handbook on your person, or perhaps it was to alleviate the loneliness that accompanied me through the ages. I fabricated many, many lies just to stay by your side. For some reason, I always had a lot of petty tantrums when I was beside you, yet you tolerated them all one by one. During the time I spent by your side, I felt a happiness and joy that was Absolutely Unprecedented."
The cold, clear moonlight overlapped Renee's retreating figure, making it hazy. She turned her head with a smile on her lips, Fisher's reflection still so clearly visible within her purple eyes.
"I've lived a very long time, and I look very lightly upon many things. All the restrictions and considerations in the Mortal World that mortals dispute over are but a fleeting moment to me; I know deeply the suffering of solitude, and I also know that it's impossible for me to bind and lock you down just because we Spend Little Time Together when I am beside you. Therefore, regarding your encounters with other women, I've always tacitly approved."
"I thought that as long as we had mutual feelings of dedication, sufficient tolerance, and a tacit understanding engraved in our hearts, that would be enough. Yet I overlooked one thing that I previously naively thought I would never possess—jealousy."
Renee's smile faded bit by bit. Her hands fell and rested on the wooden planks at the bow. Letting the night breeze brush through her black hair, the bright reflection in the water was slowly blown into a sway.
"Whenever I see the sincere feelings you dedicate to them, I uncontrollably feel jealous. I always inevitably compare my interactions with you to your interactions with them. If there's anything lacking, indignation inevitably arises in my heart... This is a sensation that cannot be controlled by rationality, just like today."
"Alagina offered you help when you were Isolated and Without Help. I clearly knew of the bond between you and her. Initially, today, I had already decided long ago to return to the ship alone and pretend I knew nothing, letting you reunite with her. Otherwise, I wouldn't have deliberately brought you to the Pirate Harbor. Weren't you curious why it was so coincidental, why the day we arrived on shore was the same day she returned? You even had time to send a letter to Naris?"
"I clearly had already arranged everything rationally, because my separation from you for so long made me feel I owed you, which is why I wanted to do so, even if you didn't know it was my arrangement. Yet, for some reason, after going ashore, seeing your anticipation to meet Alagina and the nervousness I noticed from your fear, that unavoidable jealousy was born again."
"Assorted emotional thoughts transcending my framework were ignited alongside this jealousy just like that. She clearly had her own petty thoughts when she saved you; she clearly relied on my help and arrangement to be able to meet you; this is clearly the time you belong to me... Under such thoughts, I didn't want to leave anymore, harboring some blame toward both her and you. Doesn't that sound very strange and laughable?"
"However, just as I thought before, no matter how jealous I feel, since I haven't stayed by your side all this time, I naturally don't have the qualifications to assume I would do better if I were there. This is my fault... Next time, if I've made up my mind, I will thoroughly carry it out without causing any trouble. Pinky promise, what do you say?"
Just like that, bathed in the moonlight, Renee smiled and extended her pinky finger toward the Fisher before her.
It was clear that as long as he reached out his hand and made a promise perfectly in line with her intentions, this particular conflict would be lightly glossed over, and she would consciously withdraw the next time, no longer providing him with the risk of being exposed.
But Fisher was consistently unable to extend his finger to hook onto her pinky.
He lowered his head. He didn't extend his finger. Instead, he reached out his right hand straight and grabbed her soft hand, carefully enveloping it bit by bit and tucking her pinky back in. Having her right hand held by him, Renee blanked slightly, looking at the Fisher before her, temporarily not knowing what to say.
It wasn't until the blowing night breeze colored her body temperature, and he felt that faint fragrance he had sought for so long—finally confirmed as real when it was close at hand at this moment—that Fisher took a deep breath and suddenly spoke,
"You don't owe me anything, Renee."
"You were constantly not by my side and didn't provide me with help. But in other words, I was also constantly not by your side and similarly didn't provide you with a single bit of help either. On the contrary, I've never given you a single promise, haven't even established any decent relationship with you; the things I gave you were far inferior to the things you gave me; I made you carve magic for me, and even going to see a play required me to wear you down for a long time before you were willing to go; I also frequently despised you verbally, and never said a single sweet word to you..."
"The reason for this is because I always felt you wouldn't leave before, you would always stay by my side. Yet it was only when you suddenly disappeared that I suddenly felt afraid; afraid that you ran into some danger, afraid that you blamed me for doubting you, afraid that you would never come back again. Now that you've returned safely, I should have made up for the regrets I had toward you earlier. I wanted to express my affection for you, yet for some reason, words wouldn't easily leave my mouth in front of you."
"I wanted to kiss you, wanted you to stay by my side, wanted you to be happy and safe, yet I never expected that my greed would make you feel wronged. This is already my fault... So, Renee, don't make such an oath to me. This isn't something you should do. It's I who should do this, truly..."
Fisher kept his head lowered. He wasn't some naive, shy young boy. Towards relationships, greedy as he was, he had never known restraint, yet in front of this lady, he found a boundary.
For this, he was willing to respect her pure innocence, care for her timidity, and be tolerant of her concealment and deceit toward him...
Perhaps even Fisher himself didn't know why this feeling of almost infinitely biased favor only bloomed towards the lady with whom he shared an extraordinary tacit understanding before him, why even he—who was previously so decisive towards relationships—would have such hesitation at this moment.
Perhaps he already had the answer long ago, only consistently refusing to say it out loud. It was only now, after being separated for a long time, that he desired to yell it out to her.
But the courage to vent his feelings was still insufficient. Fisher tightly gripped Renee's hand, brewing for a long time before merely whispering a simple string of words he had never spoken to anyone else. He said,
"I really like you, Renee."
Renee, whose hand was held by him, slowly widened her pupils, as if she finally saw a crack leading toward his heart on the restrained gentleman before her. The various kinds of passion bursting forth from it completely overwhelmed the Reproduction Desire he was adept at using as an excuse, offering the most sincere truth to her hand at this moment.
Renee opened her mouth. A pink flush completely different from the cold, clear moonlight spread up her neck little by little until it fully accentuated her beauty. She cast her gaze away as if dodging, yet repeatedly sneaked peeks at the Fisher before her from the corner of her eye. She didn't break free from Fisher's grip; instead, she squeezed back even tighter.
"Y-you... don't use these kinds of words as... as a front to make me stop being angry... I wasn't angry anyways, even if you say it..."
Renee trailed off as she spoke because at this moment, the Fisher before her was still quietly looking at her. So it turned out that the words she was saying right now were actually her front to dodge her shyness...
"O-okay, okay, I got it. You unexpectedly used words you've never said to anyone else to lure me, but... I am very happy. However, if that is the case, don't expect me to be able to suppress my own jealousy later... Especially... especially when I am beside you. Don't even think about trying to please both sides. Otherwise, you know, even if those women were added together, they still wouldn't be enough for me to beat. It's best if you tell them to stay far away from me..."
Fisher smiled faintly and released her hand. Looking at the Renee before him, he promised,
"Okay, I promise you, Renee."
Perhaps Renee truly was special to Fisher, so much so that he would not hesitate to unilaterally promise her a different, eternal bias unlike the others. But in any case, he never wanted to lose Renee a second time.
Hearing this, the blushing Renee looked at Fisher. While rubbing the hand he had just held, she turned her head to look at the sea surface in the distance and said,
"Alright, alright, hurry up and row the boat. We need to set out quickly. Don't forget you are being pursued by Death..."
Fisher nodded, regaining his senses to grab the wooden oars, guiding the small boat closer towards the open sea again.
"Okay. Speaking of which, Renee, you seem to have not told me the method to escape the pursuit of Death yet. Where is our destination?"
"Mm..."
Renee tapped her cheeks, whose pinkness still hadn't faded. She turned her head to look at the profound moonlight in the distance, then pointed north and said,
"The Eastern Ocean is an extremely expansive sea region that traverses both the northern and southern hemispheres. A very long time ago, somewhat near the extreme south direction of the Eastern Ocean, there was a towering grand tree named the 'World Tree'. Beneath the base of that grand tree lay the Eastern Continent that has long since vanished. Oh, and following the central axis of the Eastern Continent back north spanning several thousand miles in the sky, there is a sky fortress named 【Sanctuary】. That is our destination."
Hearing those familiar words, Eimhart, who was shrinking back playing dead behind them, immediately flew up. Extremely excited, he came before Renee and said with Unbelievable shock,
"Wait, wait... Did you say, Sanctuary? The Sanctuary where the Holy Progenies resided? Does it still exist here now? My goodness, I still vaguely remember the scene there, yet I don't remember how I left and wandered into this world. Um, Miss Renee, exactly what happened to the Sanctuary; could you tell me? I want to go back and take a look very much, I beg you."
Behind them, Fisher silently picked up the wooden oars and continued to guide the small boat further into the distant sea region.
Looking at the extremely excited Eimhart before her, Renee cradled her chin and said to him,
"I was just about to say this... Eimhart. The Sanctuary was destroyed in the mythical wars later. It plunged from the extremely high firmament down onto the sea surface. The Chain of Heaven alongside his Angels were not spared, a single one of them. And until today, it has never revealed its true appearance in front of living creatures."
As Renee spoke, she reached her hand out and submerged it in the sea surface. Along with her gentle severing of the sea surface, they very quickly entered the Crevice again, just as they had come. The tiny leaf of a boat swiftly flew past the Grotesque and Bizarre within the Crevice. Amidst the projections of the Spirit World around them, countless eyes irregularly arranged like stars blinked, seeming to be observing them.
Soon, they left the Crevice of the Spirit World and appeared out of thin air in the center of a strange sea region.
Even though there clearly was nothing around, Fisher still familiarly produced a feeling. He still remembered back at the Wutong Tree in the Northlands, where eccentric Spatial Turbulence was once created because of the roots of the World Tree. It was the same here; he similarly felt the existence of Spatial Turbulence.
"This is the Stormsea?"
Fisher once again recalled the words Alagina spoke to him this morning. On their way to search for the Stormsea, they were blocked by Spatial Turbulence ahead...
Looking at the Spatial Turbulence before them, Renee's expression was somewhat solemn.
"Mm. When the Sanctuary fell, the countless Relics up there all fell down with it. Quite a few Relics exhibited their functions at the same time, turning the current Sanctuary into an extremely dangerous place... And the one with the most obvious effect inside is a prototype manufactured by the Angels replicating the properties of the World Tree roots. It enveloped the fallen Sanctuary and formed the Spatial Turbulence in front of us right now."
"The Spatial Turbulence formed by this type of Spatial-attribute Relic is irregular. Quite a few lucky humans were able to enter inside through the seams in the Spatial Turbulence and witness the complete appearance of the current Sanctuary. Thus, this place got a new name: the 【Stormsea】."