The Carrero Effect Trilogy

Chapter 25

"I can't get my head around it," Jake utters for the hundredth time as we lie in bed, our bodies entwined. My exhaustion has dissipated, giving way to mind-numbing silence after the events of the evening.

We finally have freedom … from her.

We've been home for a few hours, yet mostly all we've done is lie together and talk. Hours spent regurgitating the fact that there is no other baby, wondering how his family will react and how different things will be from now on without it hanging over us. It's still too surreal to believe, and emotions between us have been swirling like crazy.

"I can't believe it's over," I exclaim out loud, hearing him sigh again. A happy heavy relief kind of noise.

"Me either. It feels like it's been consuming me … us … for months." He's lying on his back, staring at the ceiling while I rest my head on his firm abdomen, tracing the tattoos on his inner forearm of the arm across me casually.

"How did she think she would get away with it?" I blanch, thinking it through, and turn, shifting up to him, resting my head on the bicep of his arm nestled behind his head, and stare at his profile with inner bubbling happiness. Jake's naked torso is deliciously on show. The sheets pulled up to waist level.

"That level of crazy has no logic, Emma. I'm just glad Ben had the sense to come to see me and not let the festering past stop us." He sounds calm and stress-free for the first time in forever. It's only taken hours, though, for it to hit home.

"I can't believe it," I say again through the numb disbelief still hanging in the air; aftershock, anger, tears, and relief subsided. We have been through it all.

"Just you, me, and tadpole from now on." He beams, turning to face me. His arm shifting under my head, bending at the elbow to make himself into a better cushion.

Jake was angry when we came home, rage pouring out of him like a spewing sewer, and it took a lot for him to expel it. He disappeared into the gym for a while to recklessly punch and kick the crap out of his boxing bag with deadly precision. But lying here, calm and serene, I think it's finally sinking in that this is a good thing, a happy thing. I know a part of him will feel a sense of loss at the severing of the connection he built up emotionally with Marissa's baby, believing it was his. Some part of him accepted the child she was having; the anger is his way of grieving its loss, as well as Marissa's depth of betrayal and deceit.

"I guess it won't be a tadpole now. If you'd let that doctor look, I'm sure we would have a better idea of what size it is." I point out with a smirk. Jake touches his fingertip to my nose with an unapologetic smirk.

"I have an appointment for you this week, I forgot to tell you, and I'm still not letting anyone stick a wand up there to see. Male or female." His furrowed brow and smile tell me he doesn't care if it makes him look possessive, controlling, and slightly overprotective.

"I'm sure it's not long before they can scan my stomach instead. Plus, the thought of being impaled by some nasty-looking probe isn't giving me the greatest of thrills anyway." I cringe at remembering the weird medical implement the doctor was stupid enough to wave around near one very hostile Carrero and giggle at the memory. The probe, moments from being used in a very different way and leaving the doctor with an unusual walk if he kept waving it within Jake's reach.

"New obstetrician and many more appointments. I just wasn't happy with the guy all over you." He grimaces at the memory as though I was somehow assaulted in front of him. I roll my eyes at him with an indulgent smile and stroke his face tenderly.

What can I do with him … Honestly?

"You'll need to tell your family about this now, you know, this thing with Marissa? We need to tell our friends too." I focus on those soft green eyes and see nothing more than uncomplicated love shining back. Whatever demons he needed to expel were banished successfully in the gym. That version of him was a little too uncomfortable for my liking, reminding me of how easy it would be for someone Jake's size to hurt someone my size, highlighting how gentle he really is.

"I think it's a given that everyone will be happy for us; pity I can't say the same for Ben. I wish it weren't him that got left with the fallout, even after everything." He frowns and runs a hand across my mouth, a habit usually followed closely by kissing or sex. His mind moves from mundane topics to fun activities instead. My skin starts tingling in anticipation, and a small warmth appears low down in my stomach as I watch his green eyes darken.

"Maybe in a way it's retribution? They have each other now, whether either one wants it or not. Ben will have some hold over her with the baby, and seeing her for what she is has probably helped him a little." I inhale softly and nudge my face into his palm so his touch applies more pressure, longing for him like a never-ending craving, yearning for the extras that his hints usually lead to.

"Very philosophical for you, baby." Jake smiles and strokes my hair back from my face. "Maybe you're right. Karma has a way of coming around to bite you in the ass. God knows I've felt that set of teeth in the last few months." He shifts us closer with a hand around me, and in one swift maneuver, I'm suddenly pressed right up against him, hard body to my soft curves.

"Hmm, you must've repented successfully, seeing as you're living a very charmed life; everything is working in your favor nowadays." I giggle when his hands slide down below my waist, trying to push my thighs apart with a sexy naughty glint in his eye.

"Charmed is only one of the many ways to describe it." He slides his knee between my legs, maneuvering them apart, a wicked glean in his eyes taking over.

"Right. I guess we're done talking about serious issues, and now you're angling for sex?" I giggle but don't resist, my body fully heated and ready for meaningful, energetic action.

"Pretty much … I'm a man with needs, neonata." He leans in to devour my neck with tiny nibbles. I giggle and squeal as his hands turn playful, and he tickles me, pulling me into him. My happy, carefree Jake let loose.

"Jake!" I protest, which encourages him to flip me onto my back, covering me in one swift move.

"You're amazing, baby. Beautiful, sexy, smart, and so unbelievably perfect." He hovers above me tantalizingly, keeping his mouth from me that's crying out to be kissed.

"I'll be expecting to hear the same when I'm the size of a whale or a crazy hormonal mess again like I was in the beginning." I bite on my lip as I devour the way his eyes roam my face as he smirks in that lustful way of his.

"You'll always be sexy and beautiful and perfect to me; a baby just adds to what is so amazing about you." He leans in, kissing me softly, our mouths molding as he slowly brings his body weight down. His hands seek my hair and neck, coming to hold me close, a sign that Jake will blow my mind in ways only he can.

* * *

"Here." Jake hands me the small cooler bag Nora packed for me, crammed with food and snacks since I'm still eating like a starved animal, and he only encourages it with a constant food supply.

"Thank you, gorgeous." I wink at him, and I'm rewarded with a smack on the ass as he walks past me with our cases. I grin at him. He is still the sexiest man alive, possessing the ability to turn me to mush with one look.

"Grab my sunglasses," he calls, and I obediently pick them up, my beloved Jake's defining symbol, and slide them onto my head, smiling at myself as I do. He doesn't need them as much when he's driving now since the weather is getting colder and the sun is disappearing earlier from the sky. But I still carry them around whenever I get the chance, holding them close, reminding me of him in many ways, a constant item in our relationship of trials and tribulations. He's driving us to Chicago, and I'm in surprisingly high spirits, despite knowing what this journey is for. Since finding out Marissa never slept with Jake, I've felt on top of the world, and nothing can ruin my buzz. That high feeling and relaxed smile are ingrained on me, and Jake is in the same amazingly good mood. Our black cloud is gone.

When he told everyone about Marissa, there were mixed reactions; anger and outrage and even tears from Sylvana, shocked that Marissa could be that manipulative, but for the most part, everyone sighed with relief. Even Giovanni seemed pleased in his own way since he promptly sent a bottle of champagne and some fruit punch to our apartment, tied together in a blue and pink ribbon. Jake glowered at them and left them on the counter. I don't know what he imagines the symbolic value of the gift is, but I doubt it's the same one I interpreted it to be.

To me, the gift from Giovanni symbolizes his congratulations to us on the removal of Marissa and the building of a family between Jake and me. He's not so hard to figure out when you realize a good heart beats beneath his cool, tightened demeanor. It's that simple.

Leila told me she and Hunter are off to a remote island destination for a week, despite still being an emotional enigma, to start putting the past behind them. Daniel is holding in there, treating her tenderly now that she's not putting up such a fight. She sounds happier, less hostile, and not as angry bitchy, especially with his voice in the background cooing and telling her to come back to bed. It was noon when she called, so I take it things are still going well since they were still in bed, and I could hear him dotingly calling her his "princess" in the background.

"Baby, are you ready?" Jake's voice echoes through the apartment, and I look around for my handbag. This place seems decidedly less polished nowadays that Jake's favorite art and furniture have been sent to the Hamptons, along with many of our personal belongings. We've decided when we come home from Chicago, we're going straight up to follow our personal effects up there, then Jake is having this place redecorated and revamped as his pad to stay in when he comes over for work. He plans minor changes to the room layouts, making this apartment child friendly and moving our bedroom down to the hall with the guestrooms, bringing us closer to the nursery he wants to put there.

Nora is staying here as a housemaid since Jake's going to be here at least once a week, and Mathews is training the new security to be positioned here since we'll be taking him to the new house; their choice, of course, always so loyal to Jake.

Jefferson will be driving Jake around when he's here, and Mathews will be spending time chauffeuring and protecting me in the Hamptons and training the new security staff at the house. Jake has kept on the previous owner's house staff, and once we're moved in, they're all returning to work as they did before. Jake has this all effortlessly organized and everything smoothly in place.

I admit the thought of cooks, cleaners, and chauffeurs is no longer something I balk at; a life looking after my child without the stress that most mothers endure sounds like heaven to me. I know how lucky I am not to worry about mundane house tasks or troubles with money. I am finally accepting it all, seeing it as a perk of loving the most amazing man in the world, another gift he's effortlessly given me in this fairy-tale life.

I'll have the Carrero family nearby to support me, including Sylvana and her amazing cooking skills, Sophie, and Leila when she comes home to visit. Giovanni, in his own little way. Daniel … and Arrick when he's around too. All people as important to me as Jake infiltrated into my life. Not to mention all the staff bending to help me at every beck and call. This move is the best way to start a new life with the perfect man of my dreams. I finally convinced myself daily that this isn't a dream I'll one day wake up from.

The one person I'll miss more than most when I leave is Sarah, but she's promised to head our way at least once a month for God-motherly visits and girly catch-ups, so I'm sure everything will work out perfectly.

Jake appears at the door and visually scans me. He comes over and smooths his hands down me appreciatively, my little bump barely on show, yet somehow the dress draws attention to it because of how the high waistline kicks out as it reaches the top of my bump.

"You changed your mind?" He rubs his nose against mine affectionally, and I shake my head.

"No, just thinking about how much I'll miss this place when we leave." I look around the open sitting room and stark modern décor, realizing that it's everything Jake used to be the epitome of a bachelor pad. Jake looks around and shrugs.

"I guess. Been here a while, Bambina." He pulls me into his arms, turning me to spoon him, wrapping his arms around my shoulders, and resting his head on mine as he looks at the four walls around us. "If these walls could talk." that dirty laugh pulls a frown from me, and I elbow him in the stomach, my green-eyed monster peeking through. "They would only say I've had some seriously amazing sex with one feisty little PA." He quickly replies and chuckles when I shove him again. There's no way I'm letting him ruin my beautiful moment of reflection and sentiment with his prissy wild ways and past seductions of other women.

"That's all they need to say," I warn with a half-smile, bursting into full-on giggles when he spins me around under his arm, planting a big sloppy kiss on me.

"That's all that matters, sexy." He smacks my butt again, pulling me with him and tugging me playfully. "Come on. This is a long ass painful drive, so we'd better get going."

I follow and grin widely at his sexy ass and broad shoulders.

* * *

The drive to Chicago is long but pleasant. Between listening to the radio and talking about everything and nothing, Jake has me giggling for more than half of the journey. It's like huge heavy darkness has lifted from us, and we're back to being who we used to be when I was his close friend and Personal Assistant. Although, back then, we didn't stop the car a million times to fumble in the back seat and get half naked as we have on this trip.

"You're getting too good at that, baby." Jake winks at me and zips up his pants with a smug look. I surprised him with a false nap in his lap with a naughty twist, something I've been bravely improving on, returning the pleasure that he so freely gives me … many times over. I know it had to be good when he groaned loudly and pulled into the first lay-by he saw. Jake, the master of control, unraveled in under three minutes. I am feeling decidedly pleased with myself because of how quickly I brought him to completion with some masterful oral.

"Well, you're driving me back to the windy city, so you deserved a little reward." He sits back in his seat and stretches his legs before starting the car.

"I'm going to miss these high levels of horny when tadpole comes." He twists in his seat to check his blind spot before pulling us back into traffic, and my body heats up at his muscular frame and strong neck. His profile makes me drool, and watching him drive has me fluttering in panty-combusting heat.

"I don't think it's all pregnancy hormones." I flutter lashes at him as he turns to me, eyes running wide over my face with one of his amazing swoony smirks. I'm sure the high levels of horny I've been having are from the complete package of one Mr. Jake Carrero.

Hmmm. Swoon.

His hotness, muscular perfection, all-around sexy voice, and charm should be illegal. He has no idea of the effect he has on the hearts of the female population. Yes, he's good-looking, and I know he used to use that trait many times to his advantage, but his caring nature and beautiful heart win me over time and again.

"Bambina, keep looking at me like that, and we'll never get to Chicago. You make me want to find a motel, fast." He winks at me as his eyes roam my face. It makes me wonder exactly how much ogling I've been doing. I giggle and exhale slowly.

"I shall try to contain myself until we get there; you need to stop looking so sexy. It's ruining my calm." I moan as his fingers trail up my thigh lightly to under the hem of my dress, sliding into my inner thigh, so my body is instantly delirious with the tingles he ignites.

"Welcome to my world, Miele. It's called payback." His lust-filled gaze is distracting, and I'm surprised he's hard so quickly for me, given why we stopped the car a few minutes ago. I push his hand away as it gets seductively higher and shove his shoulder.

"Eyes on the road, Carrero. The last thing we need is a prang in your stupidly expensive car because your mind is between my legs." I pull my knees together in a bid to calm my devouring need. He is right, though. If we keep this up, we'll never get to Chicago. The conclusion to the Marissa debacle has sent our hormones on the crazy up and up lately. Not that it wasn't already, but still.

"Our stupidly expensive car! My mind is eternally between your thighs. It's all I think about, whether you're beside me or not." He winks my way, increasing the heat in my lower pelvis more so, making me squirm. "I was serious about getting you on the road." Jake flickers a look at me, both hands on the wheel, as an eye roll takes me over, instantly calming my fire. He's been on me to learn to drive so I can be more independent when we move to the Hamptons, but he's handing me a chauffeur, so I don't see the point. Plus, the thought of managing New York traffic terrifies me.

"For a guy obsessed with being overprotective, it's pretty contradictory of you to want me to drive." I poke a finger into the cute boy dimple on his face, and he catches my finger, kissing it before releasing me.

"I'm protective, baby … not archaic. I do actually want a wife that has her own independence, a career, and something more than just me and babies." He throws me a sympathetic look and then systematically concentrates on the mirror and windscreen as he maneuvers us into a lane.

"You surprise me, Mr. Carrero. I figured, being the overbearing man you sometimes can be, you'd be happy for me to laze around being served and kept." I watch as his handsome profile picks up with a beaming smile.

"I would be happy with that if it made you happy, but I know it won't." He answers diplomatically, and we both know if I chose to be a kept woman, he would have absolutely no problem with it.

"No, I suppose it won't." I sigh, relaxing into my seat a little snuggly. I have no idea how long we've been driving; it feels longer because of the constant stopping and naughtiness on the journey so far. I stretch out and run a hand over my stomach absent-mindedly, a mannerism becoming second nature.

"My mom is pulling a few strings for you, gathering

Info on ideas and directions you may be interested in. She thinks you could start by maybe seeing a counselor yourself … and talking through the past?" He tenses as the words come out a little delicately. I know he's waiting for my overreaction or possibly just an angry reply, and I watch him go from relaxed and cocky to unsure and nervous, and my heart swells.

This suggestion met an icy and angry reply when he mentioned it while we were standing on the hills of the island overlooking his father's boat, right before he stormed off for a week. But the past is in the past, and I've already moved on from everything else. Maybe now is the time to try to shake it all for good.

"It might be an idea, seeing as I can't exactly encourage kids to talk if I haven't had the guts to do it myself." I shrug when he glances my way, surprised, then relief sweeps his face. "I mean, if Daniel, of all people, can handle therapy …" I smile with a raised eyebrow, waiting for his reaction.

"You never cease to amaze me, you know? I never would've imagined this conversation going this way a year ago," His hand comes to my leg with an affectionate squeeze. He looks overjoyed with pride, and his smile is infectious.

"Yeah? Well, I never imagined, even a month ago, that we'd be coming back here or I'd want to see her alone and tell her what I need to say, but… things change." I sigh, trying to push it out of my head. The pit in my stomach about seeing her is starting to weigh heavily as the air around us stirs up unpleasant memories.

"You sure you don't want me to come with you?" He's watching me with wary eyes. He's been trying to convince me not to do this alone, afraid she'll hurt me as much as she did the last time we were here, but this time is different. I'm not going to give her the ability to keep hurting me. Coming here is a test since I'm not sure she even has that power over me anymore.

My mind, emotions, outlook, and whole life are very different from the last I saw her.

"I'm sure, Jake. Drop me at the door and come back for me, but I need to do this alone. I need to see her alone." It started with my mother and me, so it'll end the same way. I owe her that much. I want to show a modicum of respect despite her never having the decency to show me any.

"You should've told her we were coming." He's glancing in his mirrors, and I realize it's because we're cutting off, signs for Chicago are looming over us, and a dreaded weight settles in my stomach with a sickening lurch, my nerves jangling inside me.

"No, it's better this way; surprising her means she hasn't time to prepare or dress things up. I'll catch her off guard." I tap my leg with my fingertips and bring my hand up to play with my hair as the tension of familiar surroundings sweeps over me. Jake instinctively places his hand over mine, bringing it back down to my lap, grounding me effortlessly.

"I'm crazy about you. Just remember that … no matter what she says." He smiles warmly, indicating a turn-off, eyes on the road, and hands on the wheel. Despite his assurances, I can't help but start chewing my lip as my insides churn.

"I know, trust me, it's different now. I'm different. It won't be like last time, Jake. I know what I want to say and why I've come." I sound surer than I am, but I know I'll find the strength to do this.

"I'd be lying if I said I won't be pacing like crazy while you're with her, and you know, Bambina … one call, and I'll be there for you." The seriousness in his eyes warms me and helps ease the tightening despair growing up inside my body.

"I know. I love you. I just need to do this and get it over and done with."