novelraw Chapter 154 : Chapter 154
Chapter 154 : Chapter 154
Chapter 154 - Let There Be Light (1)
[System: You have overcome deaths.]
Is the expression 'finally' really the right one? In any case, I had achieved 100 deaths while trapped in this loop.
It was a number that was difficult but somehow manageable when dealing with Stella or Gabriel last time, but… that didn't apply to the current situation.
‘I can't see any hope.’
The only reason I could endure the regressions until now was because of hope.
The hope that if I endured those deaths, I could avoid a greater pain.
The hundreds of deaths I had experienced so far were, in any case, temporary conclusions, so I endured the pain and accumulated deaths.
I had no doubt that I could achieve something valuable through these deaths. And in reality, it was so.
However, even though it was the same 100 deaths, it was different now.
‘⋯⋯There's no way.’
Even now, I couldn't think of any way to break through this situation.
Unlike when I first fell into the Enlight family's mansion and had plenty of time to formulate a plan and train, the interval between death and regression now was a few minutes… or even a few seconds at its shortest, which could be a reason.
The fact that I didn't have the leisure to think while being attacked in that short time could also be a reason.
But that was just a secondary factor. With the trait I possessed, the A-grade 『Combat Sense』, I would normally have been able to find a way out even in that short time.
But the reason I couldn't was… very simple.
An overwhelming difference in power.
Thwack-!
Although it was a greatsword, a sound that was unbelievably light for something made with a blade, as if slicing through something without resistance, echoed in my ears.
“⋯⋯Damn it.”
And my vision was already flying through the sky. I had been cornered into a checkmate by a pincer attack, and I tried to defend with
[System: Magic increases to D+!]
[System: Magic increases to C-!]
In the repetition of death, my magic stat did occasionally increase for unknown reasons, but the growth was so minimal that it was meaningless.
Anyway, that desperate difference in power was sealing my ability to formulate any kind of strategy almost perfectly. It probably wouldn't have made much difference even if I had had enough time to think.
‘Escape, impossible.’
[System: You have overcome deaths.]
‘Confrontation, impossible.’
[System: You have overcome deaths.]
‘Aiming for a moment of carelessness, also impossible.’
[System: You have overcome deaths.]
‘Possibility of support, none.’
[System: You have overcome deaths.]
‘⋯⋯I'm dead.’
[System: You have overcome deaths.]
All the possibilities that came to mind pointed to my death, and they were telling me that I couldn't escape no matter what I did.
Therefore, I was just dying without being able to formulate any countermeasures.
It was a mechanical repetition of pain, with no promise and no hope.
What kind of sensation is there in the process of a person going mad? The only certain thing was that it by no means meant becoming numb.
The sensation of my whole body being chopped up by a longsword, being crushed by a greatsword, being pierced by spirit magic. My consciousness, peeling away in that vivid sensation, was shaken by all sorts of stray thoughts.
What on earth have I been doing all this time? Is this the result of struggling so hard to survive, to become stronger?
Come to think of it, whenever I was happy with a small achievement, there was always a higher wall beyond it.
As if to say that my achievements were nothing.
Really, was everything I had done meaningless?
Why am I always so helpless?
Why does this only happen to me? Why do I have to suffer pain without promise, without even knowing the reason why I'm in this situation?
Why, of all people, only me⋯⋯.
The identity of the stray thoughts was a question. However, it was also a question without an answer. No one would have been able to answer my question.
Unless it was the being called God, who might be watching me from somewhere… or who might not even exist in the first place.
But those stray thoughts were also buried under my consciousness along with the accumulation of time and pain.
I don't know when it started. Was it perhaps when my deaths had reached the mid-300s?
‘⋯⋯Someone, please save me.’
From this point on, the thought that filled my head was of that virtuous kind.
Just like how I had received help from the others at Ailton Hall. Just like how I had received help from Arien at the abandoned factory, just like how Serene had miraculously appeared at the last moment at Railroad Mysterium.
Just like that⋯⋯.
However, naturally, there could be no helping hand. If there was, it would be Yuna, who would know in advance that I had left, but… in a situation where it would be a disadvantage even if Serene came, for Yuna to come would have no more meaning than adding one more corpse.
Yes, I knew. Dammit, I knew. That there could be no helping hand.
That I would slowly, and vividly, die trapped in a prison that no one even knew existed.
I knew.
But it's not wrong to wish for salvation even so.
This much patheticness… can be forgiven.
“⋯⋯.”
I reached that thought when my deaths had easily surpassed 400.
Vwoom-!
And, when I witnessed the greatsword flying in an unavoidable trajectory along with the thought that would be the last of that round-
Flash-
There was a flash like a glimmer, and after that, the scenery lost its color and became a gray world.
And I, at that moment, was certain.
The world had stopped.
All my senses were telling me so.
Thud.
Thud.
Then, I heard footsteps in the silence. Footsteps with a clear directionality towards me.
When I turned my head there, there was… light.
There was light.
“Hello.”
There was a pure white boy, the only one emitting light in that colorless world.
A space where even the providence of time and space does not reach, a space where only infinite whiteness extends.
At the center of that unrealistic world was a boy.
A boy revered as a god by some, 'the one' by others, and somewhere else called 'The One'.
The boy was observing the material world from a place far removed from it. Originally, the act of interfering with the material world, no matter how faint, would have a great price, but at least this time, it was well worth paying that price.
“That child, Rain… was it Enlight?”
The boy muttered so, lying comfortably in that pure white space with his eyes closed.
A child who had been interfering with the flow of the Origin from some point.
A child who was changing the shape of the world he had seen in advance.
A child who was clearly hostile to him, who he didn't even know existed.
A child who was trying to stop the will the boy sought to achieve with all his might.
“Rain Enlight. Truly a strange child.”
However, no hostility towards Rain could be found in the boy's voice. He just chuckled as if he were interested.
This was a natural thing. To him, the child who followed him and the child who blocked him were equally precious children.
All those fingers were painful fingers to the boy.
“It’s sad, but this will be the end of that child’s world.”
God loves everyone.
But ironically, it is because he is not attached to each and every one of those people that God exists as God.
While enduring all that sadness, the boy decided to cut off one of the countless precious fingers.
The One was made in that form. From a human perspective, he might seem to be broken somewhere.
When his plan reached its end, all the living creatures in this world would meet the same end, so the reason for his sadness might also seem deformed.
This was close to incomprehensible.
“I will watch over your end.”
The boy named Rain Enlight, who had unknown potential. For the sake of this world, cutting off that finger was essential, and that's why The One decided to watch the scene of cutting off that finger until the end.
It was partly for the sake of responsibility, but on the other hand, it was also in consideration of another variable.
“⋯⋯.”
The boy observed the material world with his eyes closed, and there were children there.
Salvatio, Grændal, Akmandar, and Rain Enlight.
The boy could see through everything about Rain Enlight.
The color of the heart he now held, the power he possessed. All of it. At least, that's what he thought.
“⋯⋯?”
And, that's why a question arose in the god's mind. Although it wasn't a logically valid word.
Rain was suffering. In a way, one might think it was natural. Who wouldn't suffer in the face of death?
However, the color of his heart was unusually turbid and dark, even considering the situation. As if he had fallen into an inescapable hell and was repeating the pain.
It might be an exaggeration to say 'just', but it was by no means a color that a person facing an ordinary death would have.
“⋯⋯.”
Feeling that emotion, the boy shed tears. He couldn't help but cry when he thought about what kind of pain he must be feeling right now.
But, the question did not end there.
“His magic power is……”
Rain's magic power had changed. To The One, the amount of change was as trivial as the number of ants changing by a single unit, but he pinpointed it accurately.
Of course, it was not surprising that his magic power had changed. People grow, and the magic power within people is the same.
The problem was.
“Since when?”
Since when?
A sense of unease along with the question arose in The One's mind.
When exactly did his magic power change?
The One knew everything about the series of situations that had unfolded before this situation.
And he retraced. At that time, Rain Enlight's magic power was⋯⋯.
“⋯⋯?”
A question arose in the god's mind. It was an impossible situation.