novelraw Chapter 91 Strike at the Heart
Chapter 91 Strike at the Heart
Lu Xiran stood there, watching Gu Yanshen's back.
She opened her mouth.
All the words he had thought about a hundred times on the way were now stuck in his throat, and he couldn't utter a single one.
Finally, she only called out softly:
"Uncle."
It was as light as a feather falling onto the bottomless lake.
Gu Yanshen stood in front of the floor-to-ceiling window
—Still no movement.
Her shadow was reflected in the glass—a tiny figure, huddled inside her oversized cashmere coat, a scarf covering half her face, revealing only her eyes.
Those eyes have thinned.
The eye sockets were slightly sunken, and underneath was a pale blue color that couldn't be washed off.
He didn't turn around.
He dared not turn around.
I dare not look at those eyes that were once full of light, now gazing at his back.
He feared that just one glance...
Even just one glance,
—All the city walls built in two days and two nights will crumble into dust in an instant.
He would rush over and pull her into his arms.
He would kneel down and kiss her fingertips, saying, "Ranran, I'm sorry."
I would want to tell her, "I won't push you away anymore, not even if it kills me."
—And then?
Then they continued to keep her in the Gu family, this cannibalistic place.
Continue to be his weakness, continue to shield him from harm.
This time it's a child.
Next time?
"Uncle."
She called out again.
This time, there was a slight tremor in his voice.
Gu Yanshen's fingertips twitched very slightly.
Through the glass, he saw her take a step forward.
Just one step.
Like a small animal testing a trap, or a drowning person desperately trying to reach the last piece of driftwood.
She stood there, an entire office's distance away.
Across the thousands of mountains and rivers he built with his own hands.
"You..." Her voice broke into fragments, "You really don't want me anymore?"
Gu Yanshen closed his eyes.
He used all his strength to press the trapped beast inside his chest, which was roaring and trying to break free, back in inch by inch.
Then he turned around.
That expression on his face was one he had rehearsed countless times—indifferent, impatient, and condescending.
It's like looking at an incompetent subordinate.
"What are you doing here?" He heard his own voice, sounding like a completely different person's. "Can't you see I'm busy?"
Lu Xiran stared at him blankly.
It's been two days.
Forty-eight hours, two thousand eight hundred and eighty minutes.
She counted every drop of medicine in the IV tube, every step she took in the corridor, and the changes in light outside the window from bright to dark and back to bright.
She could come up with a hundred reasons why he might not come: something had happened at the company, he had fallen ill, and there were still funeral arrangements to be made for his grandmother…
She never imagined that he would stand in front of her and look at her with such eyes.
"It's been two days." Her voice began to tremble. "I keep telling myself you're busy, you're busy... but are you so busy that you don't even have time for a single phone call?"
Gu Yanshen looked at the tears welling up in her eyes.
He pinched his palm.
My fingernail dug into my flesh, and it hurt piercingly.
He needs pain.
A pain more distinct than heartache.
"Lu Xiran." He looked away, his voice as indifferent as if discussing the weather, "Why do you have to be so blunt?"
He paused for a moment.
"Wouldn't it be better to leave each other with some dignity?"
Lu Xiran's tears slid down her cheeks.
No sound.
They just fell silently, one by one, down her cheeks onto the marble floor.
"Why..." Her voice choked, "Why did you suddenly... suddenly stop talking to me?"
Gu Yanshen did not speak.
He dared not look at her again.
He was afraid that if he looked at it again, all the acting he had just done would have been for nothing.
"Is it because of the child?" She took a step forward, her voice breaking into fragments. "You blame me... blame me... for not protecting him?"
Gu Yanshen's Adam's apple bobbed violently.
He opened his mouth.
That "no" stuck in my throat, carrying the taste of blood.
In the end, he uttered only one word.
"right."
The word that came out of his mouth felt like a knife being ripped out of his own heart.
"Lu Xiran," his voice was flat, "you should know what this child means to me."
He paused.
"How many times have I told you?" He choked up, "but...you still lost him."
Lu Xiran's tears flowed even more fiercely.
She shook her head frantically, as if trying to get rid of those words.
"I'll be more careful in the future... Next time I get pregnant, I won't go anywhere, I'll just stay home. I'll listen to you, I..."
"Next time?" Gu Yanshen interrupted her.
He closed his eyes.
"Didn't Jingyan tell you?"
Lu Xiran was stunned. "Wh...what...?"
Lu Xiran's heart clenched, a sense of foreboding washing over her.
"It will be very difficult for you to conceive again."
She took a step back.
Another step.
Her calf hit the edge of the sofa, and she fell down.
"...What?!"
She looked up at him, her eyes filled with confusion, disbelief, and a hint of pleading.
"What...did you say?"
"It seems the doctor didn't tell you." Gu Yanshen looked down at her, his voice as calm as reading a verdict, "You'll have a very difficult time conceiving again. So..."
He paused.
That one second felt like an eternity.
"Lu Xiran, do you think I, Gu Yanshen, would want a wife who can't have children?"
Lu Xiran shook her head.
She shook her head desperately, her tears falling to the ground and shattering into pieces.
"No..." Her voice trembled, "You married me... just to have children?"
She reached out and grabbed his hand.
Those hands were holding her just a few days ago, their fingertips gently stroking the back of her hand, asking her if it hurt.
What I'm touching now is ice cold.
Gu Yanshen remained silent.
A silence more cruel than denial…
"I can try IVF..." She gripped his hand tightly. "I'll see the best doctors; there must be a way..."
Gu Yanshen pulled his hand away.
The movement was very light, yet it was like a knife, drawing away her last bit of strength.
Why should I wait for you?
He heard himself say it.
"Waiting for an uncertain outcome?"
He lowered his eyes to look at her, a faint smile even curving his lips—a smile he had practiced countless times in front of the mirror, cold, indifferent, and sharp as a knife.
"Lu Xiran, do you know how many people want to have my child?"
He paused.
Why should I wait for you?
Lu Xiran looked at him.
Like looking at a stranger.
She opened her mouth, as if to say something, but her throat felt blocked. Tears flowed silently, and she even forgot to wipe them away.
Gu Yanshen looked at her tears.
One drop, two drops, three drops.
Each drop was like sulfuric acid, etching a hole in his heart.
not enough.
He said to himself.
We need to be even more ruthless.
Make her hate you.
—I hate you so much that I never want to see you again.
"Besides," he heard himself continue, his voice as soft as if he were talking about something insignificant, "you're just younger and more obedient—"
He paused.
"In what way can she compare to Song Zhihe?"
Lu Xiran's tears suddenly stopped.
She just tilted her head back and stared at him blankly.