novelraw Chapter 203 I Don't Want to Sleep
Chapter 203 I Don't Want to Sleep
Lu Xiran was about to snuggle into his arms when Gu Yanshen suddenly grabbed her hand, his grip just right so she couldn't break free. He lowered his head, his gaze falling on her face, and the light in his eyes changed—not the tenderness from before, not the nostalgia from his memories, but something deeper, something hotter, something she had seen many times before, something that always made her heart race.
"Ranran." He called her name, his voice lower, as if it were being ground from his chest. "And you in that mermaid wedding dress... From that day on, my dreams are filled with that scene in the dressing room."
Lu Xiran's face flushed instantly. She remembered that night—his birthday. She had secretly changed into that wedding dress, wanting to surprise him. The mermaid-style skirt hugged her body, and the person in the mirror looked like she had stepped out of a painting. She pushed open the door, and he stood there, his eyes fixed on her, motionless. And then… she dared not think about what happened afterward.
"Gu Yanshen!" She reached out to punch him, but he gently grasped her wrist. It didn't hurt, but she couldn't break free. His palm was burning hot, pressed against her pulse, and the warmth traveled from her wrist all the way to her heart.
"Ranran, you are my source of energy every day." His voice was soft, as if he were telling a long-hidden secret, but beneath that softness lay undisguised honesty. "I've said it before, I'm not innocent. I have the deepest desire for you."
Lu Xiran's ears turned bright red, so red they looked like they were about to bleed. She wanted to turn her head away, to avoid his gaze, but his eyes were like a deep pool of water, drawing her in completely.
"In the days when you weren't around, I relied on..." He paused, his Adam's apple bobbing, his fingers threading through hers, their hands intertwining. "...and I got through it all by relying on those memories."
Tears suddenly welled up in her eyes. Not from resentment, not from sadness, but from an indescribable heartache. She remembered those three years, remembered him living alone in that big house, her photo on the bedside table, her clothes hanging in the closet—he kept everything, refusing to throw anything away. She thought he didn't care, thought he had long forgotten. But he endured each day, clinging to those memories.
"Gu Yanshen." Her voice was hoarse.
"Um."
"You don't have to stay up all night anymore." She looked up and met his eyes. "I'm here."
He looked at her, for a long time. Then he lowered his head, buried his face in the crook of her neck, tightened his arms, and pulled her into his embrace. She felt his eyelashes brush against her skin, trembling slightly, like butterflies fluttering their wings. She didn't move, but gently patted his back, just like he had coaxed her earlier, patting him again and again.
The night is deep.
Lu Xiran leaned against him, listening to his heartbeat gradually calm down from its rapid pace, like the sea after the tide recedes—quiet, vast, and unfathomable. His hand was still on her waist, his palm pressed against her lower abdomen, the warmth seeping in little by little, like a soup simmering over a low flame, unhurried and gentle.
"Ranran." His voice came from above, muffled and weary.
"Um."
Are you sleepy?
She shook her head, her hair brushing against his chin, tickling him. He didn't flinch; instead, he lowered his head, burying his face in her hair and taking a deep breath. The scent of shampoo, and that indescribable, comforting aroma emanating from her.
"I'm not sleepy," she said. Actually, she was a little sleepy, but she didn't want to sleep. She was afraid that if she fell asleep, she would wake up and find that it was all a dream. She was afraid that he would still be in that cold, impersonal office, afraid that she would still be sitting by the window in Switzerland, thinking of him from halfway around the world.
His hand moved from her waist and gently lifted her face. The light was dim, but his eyes shone brightly, like two obsidian stones washed clean.
"What are you thinking about?" he asked.
She looked at him for a long time. "Thinking about how much time we've wasted."
His fingers paused for a moment. Then he smiled, a very slight smile, but there was something in his eyes that she couldn't quite describe—not regret, not remorse, but a sense of relief after weathering many storms and finally reaching the shore.
"Nothing was wasted." His voice was soft. "Every step leads to the present."
She didn't speak. She simply reached out and traced his brow bone, from the center to the tail, following the slightly raised curve. His brow bone was high, his eye sockets deep, like a Westerner's features. Her fingertips landed on the bridge of his nose, straight and upright, like a small mountain ridge. Then she traced his lips, thin, with distinct lines.
He let her touch him, remaining motionless, even his breathing became soft, as if afraid of disturbing something. Her fingers rested on his lips, the pads of her fingers feeling their cool temperature.
"Gu Yanshen."
"Um."
"You know, when I was in Switzerland, I would go for a walk by the lake every evening." Her voice was soft, as if she were telling a story from long ago. "There were many swans on the lake, white ones, very peaceful. I would sit alone on a bench, watching the sun slowly sink, the sky changing from blue to pink, and then to purple."
He didn't say anything, but simply hugged her a little tighter.
"Back then, I always thought, 'If only you were here.'" Her voice suddenly became a little hoarse. "If you sat next to me, I could lean on your shoulder and tell you what this cloud looks like, what that swan is calling."
His Adam's apple bobbed.
"slowly."
"Um."
"I'll go with you from now on."
She looked up into his eyes. There was no hesitation, no evasion in those eyes, only a resolute light, as if the future had already been painted out.
"I'll be with you every evening. No matter where we are. Whether it's Sea City or Switzerland, wherever you want to go, I'll go with you."
Tears welled up in her eyes again. She felt she had cried too much today, but the tears just wouldn't stop. She sniffed, buried her face in his chest, and murmured.
"Keep your word."
"You keep your word."
"I'm a dog if I lie."
He laughed, the laughter reverberating from his chest. She leaned against him and could feel the vibration, like the bass notes of a cello.
"Okay. You're a dog if you lie."
She smiled, and as she smiled, tears streamed down her face. She didn't know why she was crying; perhaps it was because she had waited so long, perhaps it was because she was so happy, perhaps it was simply because—he had finally stopped pushing her away.
The night was deeper.
"slowly."
"Um."
"Go to sleep."
I don't want to sleep.
"Then I'll tell you a story."
She looked up at him. "What did you say?"
"Tell a story about a man who saw a girl by a lake."