novelraw Chapter 200 Little Fool
Chapter 200 Little Fool
Jin Qiqi's eyes were filled with fear—not fear of Lian Bichen, but fear of herself. It was fear of her own hands, which had been used without her realizing it, and fear of her own heart, which thought it was protecting her friends but was actually hurting them.
Looking at Jin Qiqi and seeing the fear in her eyes, Gu Yanxu suddenly felt as if a knife had been ripped from his heart. He knew Lu Xiran's importance in Jin Qiqi's heart. So, during the time he knew the truth, he chose to remain silent. He dared not tell her, dared not face her eyes after she knew the truth. From then on, a secret, a rift, appeared between them, a crack he thought he could pretend didn't exist by keeping quiet.
He knew what his mother had done, knew that Su Lanzhi was a scapegoat, and knew how that child had died three years ago. He didn't say anything. He thought that by not saying anything, he could pretend nothing had happened. He thought that by not saying anything, Jin Qiqi wouldn't get hurt. He thought that by not saying anything, the family wouldn't fall apart.
"Murderer!" Jin Qiqi suddenly sprang from the bed and rushed towards Lian Bichen. Her eyes were no longer filled with tears, but with fire.
Gu Yanxu stood in the middle.
"Gu Yanxu, get out of my way!" Jin Qiqi charged forward recklessly, pushing him, punching him, and tearing at him. He didn't budge. She lowered her head and bit his hand that was blocking her.
Gu Yanxu didn't dodge. He let her bite him, blood seeping from between her teeth and dripping onto the floor. He didn't utter a sound.
"Jin Qiqi, what are you doing!" Lian Bichen tried to pull Gu Yanxu away.
Jin Qiqi released her mouth, raised her head, and looked at Gu Yanxu. His blood stained her lips, red and glaring.
"Will you move aside or not?" Her voice was very soft, as if she were giving him one last chance.
"Qiqi..."
"Gu Yanxu, I will never let the person who harmed Ranran's child get away with this." Her voice was deliberate, like a verdict. "Let's get a divorce."
She stepped back, moving closer to Lin Chen.
"Call the police." She looked at Lin Chen, her voice steady beyond what one would expect from someone who had just been on the verge of a breakdown. "I'm a witness."
Meanwhile, Lu Xiran was still trembling in the car.
It wasn't cold, but a shiver that seeped from the very marrow of her bones, one she couldn't suppress no matter what she did. She curled up in the passenger seat, her hands gripping the seatbelt tightly, her knuckles white, her nails digging into her palms. Her head was down, tears still streaming down her face, silently falling drop by drop onto the back of her hands.
Gu Yanshen started the car. He held her hand tightly, so tightly that she could feel his pulse, heavy and fast, as if he had just run out of a nightmare.
"It's alright now." His voice was very low, as if he were comforting a frightened child. "Ranran, it's alright now."
Lu Xiran shook her head.
"I'm sorry." Her voice broke into fragments, muffled in her palm.
"Ranran." Gu Yanshen suppressed all his anger, all his lingering fear, and all his impulse to rush back and tear Lian Bichen to pieces, and simply comforted her. "It's good that you're all alright. You're alright, the baby's alright, that's enough."
His voice was trembling. He thought he could remain calm, but when he said "the child is alright," his throat felt like it was blocked by something, aching and dry.
"It was because I hadn't considered things thoroughly enough." He clenched his fists tighter, until his knuckles turned white. "I trusted too much..."
He didn't finish speaking.
"I never imagined that the person in the Gu family was my second aunt..." His tone was filled with regret, like a dull knife cutting into flesh, bit by bit. "That's why she had the opportunity to hurt you again and again..."
Lu Xiran looked up at him. His eyes were red, bloodshot, and stubble was growing on his chin; he looked disheveled and unlike himself. But the way he looked at her was the same as three years ago, the same as five years ago, the same as when they first met at the airport—it held light, it held her.
"You don't blame me?" Her voice was very soft, as if she were asking something she was unsure of.
She lowered her head, tears welling up again. "I thought you would do what you did three and a half years ago. Blame me. And then, without hesitation, dump me..."
As she spoke, her voice grew softer and softer until it was almost inaudible. It was the deepest scar in her heart, the image of him turning away three years ago, and the words, "Help me solve a problem." All the wounds she thought had scabbed over, but which had never truly healed, were reopened at this moment.
Gu Yanshen parked the car in the parking space and turned off the engine. He turned around, reached out, and pulled her into his arms. His embrace was warm, and his heart was beating fast, the sound transmitted through her clothes, each beat hitting her chest.
"Silly girl." His voice came from above, muffled and nasal. "I've never blamed you. I blame myself. Three years ago... I was afraid you'd be in danger if you stayed with me. I've never... never blamed you. I only blame myself for being with you, yet failing to protect you."
Lu Xiran leaned on his shoulder, sobbing silently. She didn't cry out loud, but her shoulders trembled like a wounded little animal.
"I thought you didn't want me anymore." Her voice was muffled in the crook of his shoulder, tinged with sobs, grievances, and all the fears she had kept hidden for the past three years.
Gu Yanshen tightened his arms, encircling her completely in his embrace, his chin resting on the top of her head.
"Don't worry." His voice was very soft, as if he were making a vow. "I, Gu Yanshen, will never push you away again in this lifetime."
His fingers ran through her hair, gently pressing the back of her head to draw her closer.
When I saw your WeChat message just now, I only had one thought—I just want you to be okay. Ranran, all I want is for you to be okay. Whether it was three years ago or now, I've realized—the only person I care about is you.
He paused, as if he was carefully choosing his words, or as if he just needed time to swallow the words stuck in his throat.
"You asked me if I was with you because you were pregnant. I want to tell you—whether we have a child or not, you've always been the only person I care about. All I ask is that you live a good life."
Lu Xiran lifted her head from his shoulder and looked into his eyes. Those eyes held tears, earnestness, and a kind of unreserved honesty she had never seen before. She didn't speak, just looked at him. She looked at him for a long time, so long that he thought she wouldn't answer.
"Okay," she said. It was a single word, spoken very softly, but as she said it, tears welled up in her eyes again.
Gu Yanshen reached out and gently wiped away her tears. His fingertips slid from her cheekbone to the corner of her eye, the movement slow, as if he were sketching a painting.
"Ranran, I'll have Jingyan come over and check you out." He lowered his voice even further, as if coaxing a child afraid of needles. "It's better to have it checked out to put your mind at ease."
Lu Xiran nodded and leaned back in her chair. She placed her hand on her lower abdomen gently, as if protecting something.
It was still flat there; you couldn't see anything.