novelraw Chapter 166 is even more effective
Chapter 166 is even more effective
Lu Xiran got home after eight o'clock.
She laid the suitcase on the ground, squatted down, and put the neatly folded sweaters inside one by one.
For some reason, the more Xin Mubai pursued her, the more she missed Gu Yanshen. When fireworks exploded on the river, her mind was filled with him. When her arms were overflowing with roses, her mind was still filled with him. She had only one thought in her mind, as clear as if it were carved by a knife: Xin Mubai is great, but all she wanted was Gu Yanshen.
If only he still liked her.
She clenched the sweater in her hand, then loosened it, folded it neatly, and put it in her suitcase.
Lin Chen had said he would come back early to help her tidy up, but he didn't open the door until after nine o'clock. He stood in the entryway changing his shoes, his movements slower than usual, his face showing unconcealed fatigue.
"Uncle, why are you so late today?" Lu Xiran poked her head out from the kitchen.
Lin Chen didn't answer immediately. He walked to the sofa, sat down, buried his face in his palms, and rubbed them vigorously. "I just took Yan Shen home."
Lu Xiran was pouring water when she suddenly stopped. The water overflowed the rim of the cup, dripping onto her fingers. Only then did she realize what was happening, put down the kettle, and grab a tissue to wipe her hands. Her movements were slow, as if she were digesting something.
"What...what's wrong with him?"
"He's been in very poor condition these past few days. I won't let him drive."
Lu Xiran crumpled the tissue in her hand. "Uncle...why can't he drive?"
Lin Chen looked up and saw her twisting the soaked tissue in her fingers.
She's leaving tomorrow; I can't be soft-hearted at this time.
"No...it's nothing."
The phone rang. Lin Chen glanced at the screen, stood up, walked to the balcony, and left the door slightly ajar. Lu Xiran quietly followed him.
"What's wrong with him? He's finished the sleeping pills I prescribed for him the day before yesterday?"
Lin Chen lowered his voice even further after hearing what was said on the other end.
"I've barely slept for five days straight, if this continues..."
Lu Xiran stood frozen in place. She could hear her own heartbeat, heavy and pounding. She immediately grabbed her keys and pushed open the door.
When Lin Chen turned around, the door was already closed.
Lu Xiran took the private elevator to the top floor.
The lights were off in the living room.
Only the small lamp on the island platform was lit, its dim yellow light covering a small area, like the only source of light in the deep sea. Gu Yanshen sat on the edge of the platform, his back to her. His shoulders were slumped, and he leaned slightly forward. Several strips of medicine were laid out in front of him, the white pills gleaming coldly under the lamplight, a few scattered on the table.
He kept his head down, one hand supporting his forehead, his fingertips digging into his hair. He didn't hear her come in. He couldn't hear anything. His head ached like a dull knife, digging into his temples for five days, until it felt like it was about to split open. He dared not close his eyes—if he did, those images would flash before his eyes. Fireworks exploding on the river, her standing in the night wind holding flowers, Xin Mubai draping his coat over her shoulders. Those images were like shards of glass, grinding into his nerves, leaving him bloodied and mangled. He was about to break. He picked up his medicine.
The door lock clicked once.
He thought it was a hallucination. For the past few days, he'd kept hearing the door lock click, and each time he turned around, the entryway was empty. He couldn't tell anymore. He didn't turn around.
Footsteps rushed over, fast, hurried, and panting.
A hand swept past his eyes, and the medicine was snatched away.
"Your stomach is already weak, and you're still eating this!"
Her voice boomed in the empty living room.
Gu Yanshen looked up. She stood in front of him, her chest heaving, her knuckles white as she gripped the blister pack of medicine tightly.
Gu Yanshen stared at her, seemingly not quite understanding. He looked at her for a long time, then turned his head away.
"Aren't you... going to Switzerland?"
Lu Xiran didn't answer. She looked down at the medicine in her hand—most of the strip was empty. Three days. He had eaten most of the strip in three days.
"Why are you having trouble sleeping?" Her voice was trembling; she tried desperately to suppress it, but couldn't.
Gu Yanshen didn't look at her. He lowered his eyes, staring at his empty hands. He couldn't say anything. He couldn't say that he'd been frantically scrolling through Xin Mubai's WeChat Moments these past few days, rereading those pictures of fireworks, sunsets, and crookedly shaped cookies over and over again. He couldn't say that every time he saw comments speculating "who is he pursuing," he trembled with fear. He was afraid she'd agree. Afraid she'd fall for him. Afraid that if she boarded the plane tomorrow, she'd never come back.
"There's a... project..."
"What kind of project haven't you encountered?" Lu Xiran looked at him, her voice rising. "Is it really necessary to be like this?"
Gu Yanshen lowered his eyes. Of course, he wouldn't be like that. What projects hadn't he seen, what storms hadn't he weathered? His insomnia wasn't because of projects. It was because he was afraid of losing her.
Lu Xiran looked at him—his face was as white as paper, his cheekbones prominent, his eye sockets deeply sunken, and the dark circles under his eyes were indelible, revealing an unconcealable weariness. His lips were chapped, and a bluish stubble sprouted on his chin. She knew this face all too well—she had seen it countless times when she woke up in the morning, sketched it in the moonlight, and seen it in her dreams. But it had never looked so haggard. Her heart began to ache.
"Have you eaten?" she asked.
Gu Yanshen nodded. He didn't remember. He might have eaten it, or he might not.
"I'm fine." He looked up, a slight twitch at the corner of his mouth. "Go back and check if you've brought everything."
Lu Xiran didn't move. She stood in front of him, watching his forced nonchalance. He didn't even have the strength to tell her to leave, only saying, "Go back." Her tears welled up, but she forcefully suppressed them.
"Gu Yanshen, you need to get some sleep." She heard her own voice, hoarse as if it belonged to someone else. "I heard from my uncle that you haven't slept for almost five days. How can that be?"
"It's alright." His voice grew softer and softer. "I'll feel better after taking my medicine."
"No way." She turned around and threw the pills into the trash can. "These are addictive. The more you take, the more you want."
"Ranran," he called her. His voice was very soft, as if he was begging her to stop, or as if he was afraid she would leave.
Lu Xiran didn't turn around. She went into the kitchen, opened the refrigerator, and took out milk. She poured it into a saucepan and turned on a low flame. She watched the milk slowly steam, her hands resting on the counter, her shoulders trembling. She remembered everything. She remembered the temperature of the milk he drank, the temperature of the water he soaked his feet in, the acupoints he pressed when he had a headache. She thought she had forgotten. But her hands remembered. Her body remembered. She remembered everything.
She poured the milk into a glass and brought it to him.
"Have some," she said, placing the cup beside him. "I'll get you some water to soak your feet and then massage your head. You'll fall asleep then. It'll definitely work better than those medicines."
Gu Yanshen stared at the glass of milk. The rising steam blurred his vision. He remembered three years ago, when she waited for him at home every day. He thought those days would last forever.
"No need," he shook his head.
Lu Xiran has already begun preparations.
"Ranran," he called to her.
"I'm not leaving tonight." She looked at him, enunciating each word clearly. "Go ahead and kick me out if you dare."