novelraw Chapter 140 Does Your Heart Also Feel Pain?
Chapter 140 Does Your Heart Also Feel Pain?
"Who says I don't care about Your Majesty?" Song Shuangning threw off the brocade quilt and stepped barefoot onto the cool gold brick floor.
Xiao Yan was taken aback by her sudden action, then his face darkened and he shouted sternly, "What nonsense are you talking about? You're still sick."
As he spoke, he bent down to carry her back to bed.
Song Shuangning brushed his hand away, her eyes reddening, and tears rolling down her cheeks.
"What does it matter if I am ill? Your Majesty misunderstands me so much. I would rather die than suffer any more pain."
Xiao Yan had been taking care of her for half a day, his heart still in his throat. At this moment, he couldn't bear to hear such unlucky words as "death" and "illness," so he reprimanded her in a cold and harsh tone: "What nonsense are you spouting? I was just giving you a slight reprimand; I never criticized you."
Xiao Yan ignored her crying and fussing, bent down and picked her up horizontally, then placed her back on the bed.
Song Shuangning lay on her pillow, sobbing uncontrollably, her shoulders shaking. She choked out, "What did Your Majesty mean by those words? What did you mean by 'as I wished, my confinement has been lifted'? I never said I wanted to go back... How could Your Majesty misunderstand me like this..."
She became increasingly aggrieved as she spoke, reaching out to push away the medicine bowl beside the bed, and cried out in a tearful voice, "I won't drink the medicine! Just let me die like this! It will save the Emperor from being annoyed."
These words thoroughly enraged Xiao Yan.
He simply scooped her up, pressed her onto his lap, and lightly patted her buttocks twice.
Song Shuangning's crying stopped abruptly, her cheeks burning bright red.
No one has ever spanked her in her entire life! She's not a child.
Although it didn't hurt, I felt incredibly ashamed.
Xiao Yan pinched her chin, his tone chillingly heavy: "Now you're willing to drink the medicine? Still acting up?"
Song Shuangning snapped out of her daze, tears streaming down her face again. She sobbed, "I am still ill... Your Majesty has treated me like this... I suppose Your Majesty has already grown tired of me... In that case, I should go back."
Xiao Yan pressed her back onto the bed, his hands supporting his body beside her, a hint of anger in his eyes.
"Song Shuangning, what on earth are you doing?"
Song Shuangning struggled to turn her head, tears streaming down her face, and choked out, "It was Your Majesty who first misunderstood me, then disliked me, and now you're asking me what I'm doing."
Xiao Yan was so angry that the veins on his forehead throbbed, and a cold laugh escaped his throat.
"Wasn't it you who was making a fuss a few days ago, demanding that I lift your confinement and leave the Zichen Palace? You deliberately made yourself sick just to force me to give in so that I could return to Yaohua Palace as you wished. Haven't I done just that? So why are you crying and making a scene?"
Upon hearing this, Song Shuangning immediately stopped crying.
She stared wide-eyed at Xiao Yan, tears still clinging to her eyelashes, yet a flame of resentment and anger ignited within her eyes.
"Your Majesty has indeed misunderstood me. I do wish to lift my confinement, but I have never considered going back."
Caught off guard by the harsh remark, Xiao Yan was slightly taken aback, and the anger that had been gathering around his brows subsided somewhat.
Song Shuangning feigned pitifulness, "Your Majesty locks me in this side hall every day, not even allowing me to step out the threshold. This life is more suffocating than being in the Cold Palace. Even if you want to continue confining me, at least let me go out for a walk. At least that way, I can keep an eye on Your Majesty at all times. It's better than being stuck in this side hall where I can't even see Your Majesty's shadow."
Her eyes were red, and every word she spoke was filled with aggrieved accusation.
"Your Majesty is truly heartless, just like those fickle lovers in storybooks who turn their backs on you after you've done your bidding! That day, Your Majesty tormented me so badly, then turned and left, hiding for days. Now you're even falsely accusing me of trying to leave. Your Majesty's heart is probably colder than the ice of winter! I... I will never love Your Majesty again!"
The palace servants inside the hall dared not breathe, their heads bowed, wishing they could bury themselves in the ground.
Xiao Yan covered her lips, his gaze sweeping over the palace servants standing in the hall like a knife. "Get out of here, all of you."
The palace servants, as if granted a pardon, hastily withdrew.
Only after the palace doors closed did Xiao Yan release his grip, saying helplessly, "This is utter nonsense!"
She just said... she likes me?
Xiao Yan looked up in disbelief, his eyes filled with shock and astonishment.
Song Shuangning leaned forward and wrapped her arms around his neck, her cool nose gently brushing against his cheek.
"I took the contraceptive pill because I was afraid. My mother died during my difficult childbirth, and I still vividly remember the pain that Consort Shu endured during her delivery. I was truly terrified."
"Your Majesty, please don't quarrel with me anymore, okay? From now on, if you have any grievances in your heart, just ask me directly. Even if Your Majesty is troubled, you can tell me. I am foolish and cannot fathom Your Majesty's complicated thoughts, but I... truly care about Your Majesty. Your Majesty's hurtful words, every single one of them, make my heart ache."
Xiao Yan stared at her silently for a long while before speaking.
"Your heart can feel pain? I always thought your heart was harder than stone. So, it turns out your heart can feel pain too?"
Song Shuangning stroked his cheek.
"I am a human being, not a plant or tree. How can I be without feelings? Of course, I will feel pain and sorrow."
As soon as he finished speaking, Xiao Yan leaned down, held the back of her neck, and kissed her.
The kiss was filled with surging emotions that had been suppressed for a long time. He couldn't help but gently bite her lips, as if he wanted to release all the unease and anxiety of the past few days.
Song Shuangning felt weak all over from the kiss, and raised her hand to push against his chest, vaguely pushing him away: "No... I'm still sick... I'll pass my illness on to Your Majesty..."
Xiao Yan stubbornly deepened the kiss, and only released her after a long time, his forehead pressed against hers.
"Since you are afraid of the pain of childbirth, you can continue to take mild contraceptive decoctions, but those contraceptive pills are too harmful to your body, so don't use them anymore."
He longed for a child with her blood, but childbirth for a woman was always a perilous journey. Despite his deepest desire, he was willing to wait.
Waiting for the day she willingly nods in agreement.
"What angers me is not your petty tricks of scheming against others. I am the emperor, I can protect you, and naturally I can tolerate your little schemes. What truly angers me is that I have never understood you. In front of me, you always pretend to be docile and obedient, hiding your true feelings tightly. What angers me even more is that you always deceive me with false words, and I always soften my heart." Xiao Yan smiled self-deprecatingly.
"I fear that in the end, even if I give my all, I will not be able to win even a sliver of your true heart. I have never been so timid, so insecure. But I cannot bear this feeling a second time."
"Ningning, do you understand what I mean?"
Song Shuangning nodded, choking back tears: "Your Majesty, I understand. I was wrong. I am sorry. I will never do it again."
Song Shuangning wanted to explain the past, but Xiao Yan raised his hand and pressed it against her lips.
For him, Ningning's words were enough.
He believed that his Ningning would no longer deceive him.
For Song Shuangning, whether she likes someone or not, whether she loves someone or not, is no longer important.
The Emperor's open confession finally made her lower her guard and trust him, which became the key to her taking that step.
From now on, I will definitely treat him better and better.
After all that commotion, Song Shuangning developed a high fever again, and felt dizzy and disoriented, as if she were floating in a fog.
Xiao Yan stayed by her bedside all night, without changing his clothes, personally feeding her medicine and water, without closing his eyes for a moment.
As dawn broke in the east, he had no choice but to attend the morning court session.
Before leaving, she called A-Liu and Tingyu Tinglu back, lest she wake up and not see A-Liu and cause trouble again.