That Dropped Chinese Novel’s Useless Me Says No to the System

Chapter 144 The Eunuch’s Bathhouse and the Monkey Ambush

I hadn’t even figured out what the commotion outside was when the gold-armored soldier’s shout came closer.

“Out! You, you—and you!”

I instinctively shrank toward the corner. The tent fell silent, except for the mad boy still laughing—soft, eerie, enough to crawl under your skin.

“The strong ones are going down—” he giggled, bright and cheerful, as if announcing a festival.

No one responded.

The soldier clearly had no patience. He frowned and strode in, blade in hand, casually picking a few able-bodied men. I recognized some of them—they’d escaped from the stone statue compound earlier.

Then his gaze swept over us again. When it passed over me and Lian, it paused.

Me? Obviously not built for heavy labor. I looked like a frail young master at best.

And Lian—he looked even worse for it. Draped in red, sleeves loose, waist too slender, almost delicate. Honestly, if I hadn’t seen him shatter stone with a single strike, I’d have pegged him for some pampered courtesan from a pleasure house.

(The thought barely surfaced before I coughed and forcibly buried it.)

Just as I was quietly congratulating myself for dodging trouble—

More footsteps approached.

The tent flap lifted again. Another soldier entered, grinning broadly, bowing slightly to the leader. “Eunuch Wang wants a few more.”

“Eunuch Wang?”

I froze.

The leader frowned but didn’t dare object. His gaze returned to us—this time more deliberate.

He studied me. Then Lian.

Finally, he pointed. “You—come with me. And you—” his finger shifted to Lian, “you’re going to see Eunuch Wang.”

I blinked. “What? Why me?!”

Seriously—if brute strength were the criteria, I’d lose to a broomstick. And yet I got picked.

I couldn’t help grumbling internally: Do I look tougher than Lian? Sure, maybe I’ve got a bit more… masculine presence—but why is it always me getting dragged into this kind of—

I was about to argue when Lian suddenly stood.

The moment he did, the atmosphere shifted.

“I’ll go with you,” he said calmly. “He’ll go see Eunuch Wang.”

The soldier hesitated, clearly wanting to object—but when he met Lian’s frost-cold gaze, his mouth twitched. Then, inexplicably, he nodded.

“Fine.”

Me: “?”

Before I could process that, someone shoved me lightly from behind.

“Move.”

The push wasn’t forceful, but it brooked no refusal.

I was dragged out by a group of soldiers. When I turned back, I caught one last glimpse of Lian being escorted toward the red-bannered area. His sleeves flicked once—and then he vanished into the mist.

I’d be lying if I said I wasn’t a little moved.

He was… taking the hit for me.

But before I could indulge that thought, the system chimed in again.

【Ding! Abnormal behavior detected in a main character.】

I rolled my eyes. “What now?”

【Aren’t you concerned? Going to Eunuch Wang may be more dangerous.】

“Shut up.”

【…】

I stared into empty air, then sighed. “You’ve been showing up a lot lately.”

The system replied with unsettling seriousness: 【Due to instability in the storyline, I’ve been forced to activate “intervention mode,” suspending passive observation. However, higher directives have not yet been issued, so I can only—】

“—talk at the worst possible times?” I cut in. “Try learning to shut up. Maybe the plot wouldn’t collapse so fast.”

【…Noted. Recommendation: adjust tone.】

I wanted to kick it—preferably with steel-toed boots.

The mad boy, meanwhile, had escaped selection.

As I was dragged out, he was still crouched in the corner, drawing circles and laughing.

But just for a second, I thought I saw something off about his smile—something sharp, almost mocking. Like he knew everything.

I rubbed my eyes. Probably imagined it.

Whatever. Ignorance is bliss. I envy him.

Soon, I was taken to another camp.

Lian and the others were sent toward the red banners. Me? I was told I’d be serving tea for “Eunuch Wang.”

I had no idea what that meant—until they led me into a cluster of stone caverns. Heat rushed out to meet me.

“Your Eunuch Wang… takes hot spring baths?” I blurted.

The soldier shot me a glare. “Less talking. Inside.”

I was stunned.

This barren mountain—where the hell did a hot spring come from?

Inside was a different world.

Steam curled through the air, thick enough to blur everything. In the center of the pool sat a thin figure, soaking comfortably, a green mask plastered across his face. Beside him were fruit platters, incense burners, and a dark purple robe hung neatly nearby.

I was shoved forward.

“Eunuch Wang, new servant!”

He opened his eyes halfway and looked me over.

“Oh. This one’s pretty.”

My stomach dropped.

“Name?”

I forced a smile. “Surname Li. Given name Gong.”

(Sorry, Li brothers. Borrowing your surname.)

“Xiao Gong, hmm—” he smacked his lips. “Clean-looking.”

“Thank you for the compliment,” I said stiffly.

“Know how to serve tea?”

“A little.”

“Good.”

And just like that, my new job began.

Officially: tea service.

In reality:

Towels, fruit feeding, pouring tea, fanning him, scrubbing his back—and supervising a few others as they used heated irons to press that purple robe.

(Yes. Ironing clothes. After a bath. Naturally.)

Even the pampered Eighth Prince didn’t live this well.

I kept a smile plastered on my face while dying inside.

Still—if I was stuck here, I might as well get information.

While refilling his tea, I ventured, “Eunuch Wang, this place is remarkable. I thought North Ridge was barren—who knew there’d be a hot spring?”

He half-closed his eyes. “There wasn’t. Not before.”

That caught my attention. “Recently, then?”

“It appeared not long ago.”

I nearly dropped the teacup. “Appeared?”

“Mhm.” He sighed contentedly. “The ground cracked, tremors hit, and hot air burst from the cliff base. We checked—and there it was. A hot spring. Heaven’s blessing.”

I laughed awkwardly. “Right… of course.”

This wasn’t right.

“Not long ago”—again.

Everything traced back to “not long ago.” The formation. The rumors. The resurfacing of Blood Lotus secrets. And now a spontaneous hot spring?

System instability? Plot collapse? My mind spun.

I was about to probe further when Eunuch Wang suddenly turned, smiling strangely.

“Xiao Gong, your skin’s quite smooth. Reminds me of my younger days.”

I almost choked. “Th-thank you…”

“Tch—” he raised a brow. “I’ll teach you a skincare formula sometime. Smooth as peeled eggs.”

“…I’ll pass.”

“Don’t be shy. Back in my youth, I—ah!”

He abruptly leapt up.

For a split second I thought he slipped—

Then monkeys burst in.

Out of nowhere.

They swarmed the hot spring like invading troops.

“Monkeys! Guards! Protect—protect the eunuch!” Chaos erupted. Fruit trays flipped, grapes flying everywhere.

One monkey shrieked and landed squarely on my shoulder. I jumped on instinct.

For some reason, it seemed to like me more than Eunuch Wang. Eyes red, it bared its teeth in a grotesque grin—and reached straight for my waistband.

“Hey—HEY! Let go! That’s my belt!”