Taming the Beast World with a Frying Pan

Chapter 280: The Early Bird Gets the Bath

It was incredibly early in the morning. The sun was just now beginning to peek over the distant horizon, casting long, pale rays of dawn light through the high, open arches of Syris’ cavernous garden.

Ren was currently stooped over in the damp grass. She was rummaging through a thick patch of prehistoric flora. She was on a desperate mission to find herbs that were similar to the ones she would use back in her world as a remedy for a horrible sunburn.

Because Syris’ sunburn covered almost his entire body, she was going to need to make a giant batch of healing paste. She needed lots of everything.

"You would honestly think," Ren grumbled quietly to herself, snapping a thick, fuzzy stem in half, "that after the mind-blowing climax we shared last night, he would wake up feeling a little bit better. But no."

She sighed heavily, tossing the fuzzy stem into the dirt. The Snake King was still in an incredibly foul mood this morning, hiding beneath his mountain of furs and feeling utterly self-conscious because of the peeling, flaky condition of his delicate skin.

His vanity was truly unparalleled.

"Okay, think back to Aruba," Ren muttered to herself, wiping a smudge of dirt from her forehead. "What did the locals put in that paste? Aloe vera for the hydrating base, obviously. Witch hazel to pull the heat and inflammation out of the skin. And some kind of peppermint or chamomile to cool the stinging and stop the peeling."

Without her promised log book yet in hand, Ren’s only reliable guides were her acute chef’s sense of smell and touch. She crawled over to a massive bed of what looked like succulents.

She reached out and snapped a plump, purple leaf in half, bringing it to her nose to sniff the sap.

Ding!

[System Warning: Host, please drop that immediately! That is a Venom-Spit Orchid. If you rub that on his skin, it will cause violent, full-body hives and temporary blindness!]

Ren quickly dropped the leaf and aggressively wiped her hands on the grass. "Okay, okay! But could you at least tell me which one of these weird swamp plants is similar to the soothing herbs I need?! I’m flying blind here!"

[System: Absolutely not. I am already giving you a highly coveted, magical swamp ingredients log book simply as a reward for cheering up your brooding husband. How much more benevolent can I possibly be? Nothing in life is free, Host!]

Ren rolled her eyes, letting out another sigh. She went back to sorting. It was a tedious process of trial and error.

She moved past the dangerous orchids and found a patch of thick, spiky green plants. Using her fingers, she carefully broke open one of the thick leaves. A clear, incredibly thick, cooling gel oozed out onto her fingertips. It felt exactly like the gelatinous texture she was looking for.

"Perfect. Swamp aloe," Ren smiled, tossing several large leaves into her ’safe’ pile.

Next, she needed the cooling agent. She crushed a handful of tiny blue flowers between her palms, deeply inhaling their scent. They smelled heavily of acidic citrus—way too harsh for a burn. She tossed them aside.

She crawled further along the dirt, finding a leafy bush with silver-tipped leaves. Rolling a leaf between her fingers, the unmistakable, eye-watering scent of sharp eucalyptus and cool mint filled the air. "Swamp mint. That’ll work perfectly for the peppermint substitute."

While Ren was wrist-deep in swamp horticulture, Altair was in the cavernous garden with her.

The giant golden eagle had obediently remained sitting exactly where she had left him at the door to the nest for the entire night. When she had finally slipped out of the nest at dawn, he had quietly followed her into the garden.

Now, Altair was looking at absolutely everything with intense, unwavering focus and pure curiosity. He walked around the massive stone planters, tilting his head at glowing vines and strange, floating spores. Eventually, his wanderings led him to a small, stone pool filled with clear, sparkling water in the center of the garden.

He leaned down, his beak parting to drink some of the cool water. But as the ripples faded, he suddenly froze, his silver eyes locking entirely onto his own reflection on the glassy surface.

Ren paused her herb sorting, holding a handful of swamp mint. She watched him from the corner of her eye, wondering exactly what the giant bird was doing staring at himself so intently.

Suddenly, a bright, blinding golden light violently erupted across the garden.

"Argh!" Ren groaned loudly in pure irritation, throwing her hands up to shield her face. She aggressively rubbed her eyes, but massive white spots were already dancing wildly in her vision, completely blinding her.

As the light faded, the giant eagle was gone. Altair had shifted back into his breathtakingly gorgeous, gloriously naked beastman form, completely without his golden wings.

"Damn it, Altair!" Ren cursed quietly, stumbling blindly in the grass. "I explicitly told you not to shift without me saying so!"

Altair didn’t even flinch at her scolding. His silver gaze was still entirely focused downward, completely mesmerized by his handsome reflection in the sparkling pool.

"There is no one around," Altair stated simply, his smooth, melodic voice echoing softly in the quiet garden.

"That doesn’t matter!" Ren marched furiously over to him, her vision finally beginning to clear as she pointed an angry finger at his broad, naked back. "Anyone could come walking through those arches at any moment! The guards, Viper, Syris—!"

In her blind, stomping rage, her foot caught under a thick, protruding vine hidden in the loose dirt. With a loud yelp, Ren tripped. She stumbled wildly forward, her arms flailing as she completely lost her balance.

She crashed, chest-first, directly into Altair’s bare, muscular back.

The force of her momentum knocked the beastman entirely off his feet. The two of them plummeted over the stone edge and crashed into the small pond with a massive, echoing SPLASH!