novelraw Chapter 85: Quit
Chapter 85: Quit
Everyone looked dumbfounded hearing what Stanley had to say. He could’ve asked for anything, a house in the 1st quadrant, a life without worry, but instead, he asked to quit being a Defender.
"Stanley, what are you saying?" Bradley asked.
"I know what I’m asking, brother," Stanley said and turned toward the Mayor. "That is what is want."
Being a Defender was not what Stanley wanted anymore. He did want it before when his mother was alive, and a bit afterward when he knew this was the way to fight the Crawlers, which he so desperately wanted to kill.
However, remaining a Defender was only giving him more pain than anything. He was being forced to go through tragedies that he didn’t want to. This was simply too much for his already broken mind.
So, he quit.
"If..." the mayor hesitated a bit as he didn’t want to allow Stanley to quit. If he did, it would create strong precedence and give others the idea that they could quit too.
He wanted people to stay as Defender for as long as they wanted to, especially now that the number had lowered quite a bit after the attack 6 months ago.
However, he had already given his words, so the Mayor’s hands were tied. He sighed and spoke. "If that is what you want, then I will allow it," he said. "You don’t have to work as a Defender anymore. You don’t have to risk your life anymore, you’ve done plenty already."
"But, do tell me, what do you plan to do now?" the mayor asked, remembering something. "If I recall correctly, you live here in the headquarters, don’t you? Do you have a place to go?"
Stanley nodded. "I’ll go back home," he said.
"Your home? But..." the mayor was confused.
"I’ll go back to the farm, where I grew up," Stanley said.
"The farm?" the mayor was surprised. "But... that’s where the Dulls are supposed to live. You’re not a Dull!"
Stanley almost wanted to say that he was. At least, he didn’t have powers like the others did.
"I’m sure any of the Dull will be happy to swap places with me, Mayor. You don’t have to worry about that," Stanley said.
The mayor had more things to say, but he had to stop himself from speaking. "Very well, if that is what you want, I will allow it. You may go and live anywhere on the Farm, but you shall only replace a single person."
Stanley nodded in thanks.
The mayor watched him turn around and leave. He shook his head and continued addressing the townsfolk with a different topic to take their focus away from it all.
Bradley jumped down to where his brother was and asked, "What’s going on? Why are you doing this?" His voice was drowned in the loud sound of the speakers, but the two brothers could listen to each other clearly.
"Why shouldn’t I, brother?" Stanley asked. "There is no reason why I should stay a Defender is there?"
"What about the people? Don’t you want to save them?" Bradley asked. "And what about the Crawlers? I thought you wanted to fight them too."
"I don’t care about the people, brother," Stanley said. "Caring about them only leads to more pain. I tried caring, and see where that got me. I was nearly as devastated as when mom died. I can’t do this anymore."
Bradley didn’t know what to say. "So you’re just giving up?" he asked.
"Who said I’m giving up?" Stanley asked.
"Then why are you quitting if you’re not giving up? What about the crawlers?" Bradley asked. He, more than anyone, didn’t want his brother to fight the crawlers, but that didn’t mean that he wanted his brother to give up on revenge.
After all, it was their mother who had been killed by those things. It should be both of them who fought those things.
"I haven’t given up my will to get revenge on those things yet, brother," Stanley said. "In fact, I’m directly working towards it."
Bradley couldn’t understand. "What do you mean?" he asked.
"I’m going to stay on the farm, brother," Stanley said. "There is no better place in this world than that if I want to fight the crawlers, is there?"
"You... you want to go there to wait for the Crawlers?" Bradley asked. "It... it might be dangerous though." He couldn’t help but hesitate when the thought of his brother fighting something so dangerous became more real in his mind.
"Yes," Stanely said. "I have no other purpose anyway. I will fight the Crawlers and kill as many as I want."
"No, you can have any purpose in life," Bradley said. "You just need to work hard for it."
Stanley stayed quiet. Sure he could work hard to find a purpose in life, but did he deserve a purpose? He who had failed to save his mother, did he deserve anything else?
The only thing he knew he deserved was this sadness, guilt, and this burning anger to kill all the Crawlers. That was the only thing he wanted as well.
"I’ll leave now, brother," Stanley said. "I’ll see you later."
Stanley walked away from the crowd, the loud speaker sound drowning every other voice as he couldn’t even hear his own footsteps anymore, the same one that brought him away from the life he once wanted, to the life he now knew he wanted.
He returned back to his quarters and started gathering his stuff. He didn’t have much to his name aside from a few bedsheets and a few pairs of clothes.
He didn’t even have any money. Being a trainee didn’t pay after all.
He bundled up his things and walked out of the door. He walked away from his quarters without looking and made his way down the town.
He was going to go back to the farm and live life just as he did for most of the years of his life. Maybe, doing so was what he needed to get what he wanted.
Maybe, that was how he found peace.