novelraw 18 The distant past
18 The distant past
For Feng Yaluo, the last thing she wants to recall is the past life, because it is a pain that she will never forget. She once thought that wound would accompany her for the rest of her life, and she would no longer expect the so-called family affection .
Perhaps, God still took pity on her, allowing her to be reborn in a caring family and giving her everything she desired most in her previous life, but at the same time, she fell into confusion. Hurt, so I can only be depressed and confused all the time, unable to really integrate into this world.
She always thought that she was covering it up very well, and she didn't let them see her helplessness under her obedience, and she always thought that she would live her life wearing a smiling mask like this.
Until that incident happened, it evoked the pain that she tried to forget but went deep into her soul. In the end, she chose to escape, unwilling to wake up again.
It was also that time that her relatives touched her with the deepest love and warmed her heart that was already riddled with holes. Those calls and the warmth passed from her fingertips finally made her let go of the pain of her previous life. Pain, she decided to believe again in this world that there are still feelings worthy of her sacrifice.
She finally let go of it, completely let go of all the past life, and began to truly integrate into this world...
So what exactly did Yaluo go through in her previous life that made her suffer so much, let us travel through time and space and go back to Yaluo's past life...
The following is the name of No.1———
In this life, my name is Feng Yaluo, a name that entrusts all the love of my parents.
Maybe you will wonder why I say it is this life, yes, I do have the memory of the previous life, how far away it was, so long that I almost forgot that I used to have a name, a pair of parents, and There is a broken home.
Perhaps the birth of every child is entrusted with the deepest blessing and care of the parents, because this is the crystallization of their love and the continuation of their blood.
However, my birth was destined to be the beginning of a tragedy.
In my previous life, I was born in a famous family, the Lan family.Maybe it's really like the plot in TV dramas, every big family will have some ulterior secrets.
And I was the one who added that stain to this blue family with infinite beauty on the surface.
I was not born to the wife of the head of the Lan family, who was also from a famous family, but a woman from an ordinary commoner family. In other words, I am just an illegitimate daughter of the Lan family.
Before I was three years old, I did not live in the Lan family, but lived with my grandparents.
This honest and kind couple didn't know that their daughter was dating a married man, and my granddaughter was just the illegitimate daughter of that man.
They took my mother's word that my never-seen father died in a traffic accident before I was born.
And my mother, that delicate and charming woman like a dodder flower, also passed away shortly after I was born.I was left alone, who was still in my infancy, and her elderly parents.
I don’t have a deep memory of my mother. I can only understand her from the words and phrases of my grandparents. Although there are not many photos of her, she is smiling brightly in every photo. The flying long hair, soft and fair face, and that touching smile have always been the deepest impression of my mother in my heart.
It's hard to imagine that the mother who looks gentle and pleasant in the photo, who is obedient and obedient in the eyes of her parents, will be a man's lover.
Shouldn't such a pure and weak woman be held in the palm of the hand by the one she loves?
But the reality is often so cruel, she finally left without even having the chance to see that person again, before telling that person in person that she gave birth to their child, and left in such a lonely way.
I don't know if she ever felt reluctance in her heart, or if she ever resented the man she loved so much.However, no matter what she thought in her heart, she could no longer let that person know.
And until she left, I didn't know that the so-called father who died in the car accident was not dead at all, and I didn't know what my last name was. Grandpa and grandma could only call me by the name she gave me.
Yerin, does this name also express your love for me?Mother……
Although my life before the age of three was poor, my grandparents cared for me in every possible way, and my life was simple but warm.
I don’t know if it’s because God doesn’t allow me a little happiness. Everything changed on that day. The trajectory of my life and my future destiny all happened on that winter afternoon when that man appeared in the small house where I lived for three years. It changed when I was in the hospital.
As usual, my grandpa picked me up from the kindergarten, and I bounced and walked ahead, but my grandpa always reminded me to slow down and be careful not to fall.
As soon as I walked to the gate of my small courtyard, I was shocked by the scene in front of me.
Several luxury-looking cars were parked by the side of the road, and a few tough-looking men in black were standing at the door of my house. Grandma kept looking out in front of these men in black until she saw them. When I saw my grandfather and I, I staggered and walked towards us quickly.
"Grandma!" I got into her arms with some fear, and secretly looked around from between my grandma's arms with some curiosity.
"What happened? Who are these people?" Grandpa walked up to grandma, and asked grandma with some doubts, with a hint of surprise in his voice.
"..." Grandma tightened her arms holding me, the corners of her eyes were already wet, she didn't speak, but shook her head with some difficulty.
Seeing grandma like this, grandpa's expression darkened instantly.
"Hello! Is this Mr. Xue?" At this time, a middle-aged man in a black suit came over and said to his grandfather. Although his tone was very respectful, for some reason, I always felt that there was something in his eyes behind the lens. There is a touch of contempt.
Grandpa was taken aback by the other party's question, and then nodded.
"Then please go this way, our Patriarch welcomes you!" Then he showed his grandfather the way respectfully.
"Go home and wait for me!" After telling me and grandma, grandpa left with that person.
Letting go of the arm holding me, grandma took my hand and walked towards the courtyard in silence.
I could feel my grandma trembling slightly as she was holding my hand. She held my hand tightly, as if she was afraid that I would disappear suddenly.
I was led home by my grandmother, and I sat on the sofa, and my grandmother was also close to me, and has not let go of my hand until now.
Although I was still young at that time, children are very sensitive. I could feel my grandma's uneasiness, and I could also find that the atmosphere at home today was different from usual, which made me frightened for no reason.
After an unknown amount of time in the silence, grandpa opened the door tiredly and walked in.
His complexion was not very good-looking, which made me uncomfortable for a while. Grandpa, who was always smiling, didn't have a smile on his face now. Instead, he seemed to be holding back his anger.
I moved my body a little uneasily, as if sensing my fear, grandma patted my shoulder lightly, and then looked at grandpa sitting on the other side.
Grandpa opened his mouth, but he didn't say anything. His expression was unpredictable, and the atmosphere in the living room made me more and more nervous.
"Yilin... If, I mean, if, your father comes to pick you up, will you go with him?" Finally, grandpa asked this question with great difficulty.
"Dad? I have a father again?" After a brief absence, I jumped up from the sofa in surprise, ran over and grabbed my grandfather's hand and asked.
The world of children is so simple. At that time, I didn't see the helplessness and sadness in the eyes of my grandparents, but I was blindly immersed in the joy of having a father.
God knows how much I envy those children who are loved by their mothers and loved by their fathers. Although I have never said it before, every time I see those children who can act like a baby to their parents, I will think that if I have a mother and a father alright……
That longing has always been deeply buried in my heart, and I have never told anyone, because I know that my grandparents love me very much, and they will be sad if they find out.
"Yes...Yilin, you have a father, and your father's surname is Lan..." Shengsheng held back the reluctance in his heart, and my grandfather tried his best to say to me in a calm tone, "He...he came to pick you up, Just outside..."
"Can I live with Dad?" I couldn't hide the surprise in my tone.
"Yirin...do you really want to live with your father?" Grandpa asked me again.
"Of course!" At that time, I answered in the affirmative, but if I knew what would happen in the future, I would never agree to go back with that person.
"Okay! Grandpa will go and pack your things now..." Without further words, grandpa got up and walked to my room, and grandma followed grandpa in.
"Grandpa..." Grandpa stopped when he heard my voice, but he didn't look back, but continued to walk forward.
Although I felt a bit of a weird atmosphere, I was soon immersed in the joy of having a father, and put the anxiety behind me.
It wasn't until my grandfather led me out that I asked suspiciously, "Grandpa, aren't you coming with me?"
"Yilin, the situation at your father's house is special. Grandpa and grandma can't go with Yilin, but we will visit you often...Yilin, you have to be obedient when you pass, you know?" Touching my head, grandpa His tone was full of reluctance.
"Grandpa..." My tears fell, I hugged Grandpa's arm, and looked at him reluctantly.
"Yilin...don't cry, grandpa's pretty little angel is about to turn into a little cat..." Grandpa scratched my nose, trying to resist the sourness in his eyes.
"Grandpa... you and grandma have to come to see me often, I miss you so much..." In the end, I still couldn't hold back, and threw myself into grandpa's arms and burst into tears.
At that time, I couldn't understand how my grandfather and grandmother made such a decision. I sat in the car and watched their figures get smaller and smaller through the window, and my heart was full of dissatisfaction. Feeling sad, her eyes began to turn red again.
If I had known that the separation from my grandparents was a permanent separation, I wouldn't have gotten into that person's car, and maybe everything that happened afterwards wouldn't have happened.
But there are no ifs in this world, and there is no room for regrets. No matter how painful it is, I can only bear it by myself.
The author has something to say: ugh. . .I'm sorry everyone, I haven't written about what happened after Yaluo returned to Japan. . .
But the plot is arranged like this, the author can't disturb it. . .
Only by writing the heroine's previous life first, can the following plot be drawn out. . .
Don't worry, everyone, just watch it as a side story. . .
Will be writing about it soon. . .