She Wants to Divorce Me

Chapter 68

X City is located in the southwest, where the spring breeze of March has already brought forth begonia flowers. Magnolias and peach blossoms along the roadside were shedding their petals in the wind. On the plane, Ji Yaoguang had slept leaning against Chang Yu. As they were about to leave the airport, she was still immersed in that bizarre dreamscape, unable to snap back to reality.

The more indistinguishable reality became from dreams, the heavier the mountain weighing on her heart felt. Glancing at Chang Yu's gentle profile, the thought that everything now might be a dream made her heart feel as if it were pierced by thousands of needles, a sharp pain. She couldn't let this state of mind ruin their wonderful journey, but the more she forced herself not to think about it, the more intense these thoughts became, like a cloud hanging over her heart.

The Moon Goddess Temple was located on Wangyue Mountain in the outskirts of X City, some distance from the city center. After landing, they went straight to the hotel to drop off their luggage. Throughout the journey, Ji Yaoguang remained silent, her brows furrowing and unfurrowing like waves stirred by the wind. "Did you have another nightmare?" Chang Yu's fingers gently smoothed Ji Yaoguang's knotted brow, as if trying to iron out the creases. She sighed softly, her face full of concern and helplessness. She wasn't omniscient, and felt at a loss in many situations—this was one of them. Ji Yaoguang had told her about the dreams, and besides offering countless comforting words, she also sought other ways to calm Ji Yaoguang's mind, even if it seemed somewhat superstitious to others.

"Everything now is too wonderful, like a beautiful dream," Ji Yaoguang wrapped her arms around Chang Yu's waist, burying her face in her embrace and murmuring softly. This wasn't the first time she had said such things to Chang Yu. The so-called rebirth was something even she couldn't distinguish clearly, and could only turn it into a dream—a beautiful dream she didn't want to wake up from—each time she mentioned it.

Her fingertips threaded through the smooth long hair, slowly sliding down along the spine. The gentle tapping up and down was like playing a beautiful song. Chang Yu whispered in Ji Yaoguang's ear, "If it really is a dream, then let's find a way to stay trapped in the dream forever, never to wake up." But how could this real world possibly be a dream? A world interwoven with love, hate, passion, and enmity, with pain and various factors. "Whether in dreams or reality, I will always be by your side."

"You're lying," Ji Yaoguang suddenly looked up at Chang Yu, her eyes misty with tears, filled with grievance and accusation. "The reason it's a nightmare is because you leave. You leave for three years and who knows how long it will last—"

"I—" Chang Yu was at a loss for words. She couldn't enter Ji Yaoguang's dreams, let alone control their direction. Looking at those moist eyes, she felt a mixture of self-hatred and anxiety. Raising her hand as if swearing an oath, she said, "I, Chang Yu, swear that I will never leave Ji Yaoguang. If I break this oath, may I die a terrible death!"

"Don't say such things!" Ji Yaoguang exclaimed in shock, quickly grabbing Chang Yu's hand and spitting several times. "Why are you swearing such a vicious oath? I didn't ask you to do that."

"It's not a vicious oath," seeing Ji Yaoguang's distress, Chang Yu softened her tone and replied gently, "I won't leave you, so those assumptions have no possibility of existing. How can it be a vicious oath? You dreamed that I left you, but honestly, this fear stems from the insecurity I've caused you. It's because I haven't done well enough, I'm not a qualified partner, not a perfect companion. I'm sorry, I—"

"Stop talking, I understand," Ji Yaoguang covered Chang Yu's lips with her hand, blinking and chuckling softly, "If you say any more, I'm going to cry." Perhaps she had given all of this lifetime's tears to Chang Yu, whether in sadness or emotion, only shedding tears for her alone. She held Chang Yu tightly, as if embracing the entire world. The room fell into silence after the voices ceased, and only after a long while could a very soft murmur be heard: "Actually, I'm afraid too."

Compared to tourist spots bustling year-round, X City was obviously not lively. Even on the busy streets with cars coming and going, one could feel the approaching tranquility and antiquity. It wasn't yet holiday season, so pilgrims to the Moon Goddess Temple were even fewer, and the buses heading there had been reduced to one per day.

Ji Yaoguang and Chang Yu set out on the morning of their second day in X City. The bus was sparsely populated, with empty seats everywhere. An old lady with a string of prayer beads muttered continuously, while a woman with a child carefully lulled her baby to sleep. Several men in blue clothes, who had agreed to travel together, were chattering away until they heard the baby's unconscious "ah" sound. They suddenly realized, scratched their heads, and smiled sheepishly at the woman, lowering their voices.

Ji Yaoguang sat by the window, dozing lightly on Chang Yu's shoulder. On the right side of the aisle was a white-haired, spirited old man who occasionally chatted quietly with people around him. "Young ladies, are you going to the Moon Goddess Temple for fun? It's rare to see devout believers nowadays," the old man's eyes met Chang Yu's, and he grinned.

Chang Yu pursed her lips and nodded slightly in response.

"Do you know the origin of the Moon Goddess Temple, young lady?" The old man seemed very familiar with the area. From his earlier conversation with the driver, it was clear he was a regular visitor to the Moon Goddess Temple. Without waiting for Chang Yu's response, he continued, "Moon worship probably began in ancient times when people feared everything in nature. In our Moon Goddess Temple, there's a legend. At the beginning of time, when humans were first created, the world was ruled jointly by celestial gods and ghosts. Although the gods and ghosts shared the same origin, they were mortal enemies, and the world was plunged into endless war. During the day, ghosts feared the power of the Sun God and dared not appear. But in the pitch-black night, it was their time to revel, and the gods lost their light and were no match for the ghosts. Later, the gods came up with a plan. They created a new god to take on the Sun God's responsibilities, sharing the Sun God's radiance to continue illuminating heaven and earth in the dark night. This man later became known as the Moon God."

"Day and night are like life and death. In ancient legends, people who dream at night actually go to another world. Their souls slowly return with the rooster's crow at daybreak. If they don't hear the rooster's call, it means they're trapped in the other world and can never return. Look at the waxing and waning of the moon, representing the power of cycles. New life always replaces death again and again. Our worship of the Moon God is actually a longing for life."

"What about the people who went to the other world? How do they live?" Ji Yaoguang suddenly raised her head and asked. She had actually woken up when the old man first started speaking. Was she perhaps a person from another world, wandering here unable to find her way back? But what if one day she was called back again? She blinked, full of interest in the topic.

"This old man hasn't been to the other world either," the old man laughed heartily. He lowered his voice, "But according to the High Priest in the Moon Goddess Temple who communicates with the gods, people in the other world are all content with their situation. Some people might struggle between so-called reality and dreams, but they quickly adapt to that world and put these meaningless things behind them. Of course, there are also those who desperately want to come back."

"Did those who wanted to come back succeed?" Ji Yaoguang asked eagerly.

"It's not possible on their own, that requires the masters to summon their souls. As far as I know, none have succeeded. So, we should just honestly wait to pass through the cyclic gate opened by the Moon God to enter another world. It's a brand new beginning, so what's there to worry about or be conflicted over?" The old man smiled.

Ji Yaoguang wanted to ask more, but suddenly the baby's sharp, piercing cry filled the carriage. Those who had been whispering instantly closed their mouths, wearing embarrassed smiles, all feeling ashamed for waking the baby. For a moment, only the woman's gentle cooing and the baby's cries intertwined in the bus. Ji Yaoguang blinked, seeming to understand yet not understand. She leaned close to Chang Yu's ear and asked softly, "Do you believe what the old man said? What do you think the other world is like? Is it on the same timeline as us now? Will people who go to that world change their identities? Do they want to come back? How can they come back?"

"I don't know," Chang Yu shook her head. She had looked up some information about the Moon Goddess Temple online before and had asked many friends, but no one had mentioned what the old man had said. They only said that the High Priest there had extraordinary powers. While they said they were coming for tourism and pilgrimage, she more wanted to bring Ji Yaoguang here to see and dispel the lingering gloom in her heart. She stroked Ji Yaoguang's back and murmured, "I don't know. I only know that you are in this world, and I am in this world too."

After leaving the highway, the bus traveled along mountain roads. After more than three bumpy hours, they finally reached the foot of Wangyue Mountain. This didn't mean they had reached their destination; on the contrary, it was just the beginning of their journey. At the foot of the mountain, shops lined both sides, selling candied haws, peanuts, and sunflower seeds, as well as incense and candles for worship. Tall locust trees were planted on both sides, with red ribbons tied to them fluttering in the wind. With few tourists, even the voices of the hawkers seemed listless. As soon as they got off the bus, Ji Yaoguang ran to buy two glutinous rice balls, saying seriously, "We haven't exercised for too long. We need to eat well to have the strength to climb the mountain." After a moment, she grumbled, "Why did they build the Moon Goddess Temple on top of the mountain? It must be so difficult for the people inside to come down."