novelraw Chapter 68 : The Choice to Hide
Chapter 68 : The Choice to Hide
The stew tonight smelled faintly of wild herbs Lyra had gathered from the edge of the land. The table felt strangely empty; Selene hadn’t returned yet, and Lyra was perched at the far end, spoon-feeding little Riaz while humming softly.
Father sat across from me, broad shoulders hunched, his calloused hands wrapped around his spoon like it was a lifeline.
I pushed my food around, the clink of the spoon loud in the silence.
“Papa,” I said finally. “Why is Mama so… afraid of me?”
Father’s spoon paused in midair. He didn’t look up immediately. “Why do you say that?”
I stared down at my bowl. “Because… I heard her. At night.”
His eyes flicked up sharply.
“I wasn’t trying to,” I mumbled. “Sometimes I wake up when you two talk. I heard her call me a monster.”
The spoon lowered slowly to the table. Father sighed, rubbing a hand over his face. For a moment, I thought he might scold me for eavesdropping. Instead, his voice came quiet, heavy.
“She’s not afraid of you, Rooga. She’s afraid you’ll grow up like her.”
I blinked at him. “Is it… bad to be the greatest magician like Mama?”
Father’s eyes glistened. He didn’t answer right away. When he did, his voice cracked.
“It’s not being the greatest that’s bad,” he said. “It’s being feared. Despised. Walk into a room, and people run before you’ve even spoken. You’re too young to remember, but your mother’s power was built on pain the empire gave her. She doesn’t want you walking through life alone, like she had to.”
I swallowed, my small hands trembling around my spoon. “But… why hide my power? If more people knew, wouldn’t I be able to help them?”
Father gave a bitter laugh. “That’s not the empire’s way, Rooga. The empire was built on blood and sweat. The magic they call pristine is the one that can destroy the most lives. They push mages over their limits, break tradition, turn them into weapons. Your mother knows it better than anyone.”
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“But Mama’s strong,” I protested. “Why didn’t she just fight the empire?”
“She did,” Father said quietly. “For years. Every rebellion, every refusal, only brought more pain and suffering.”
I sat back, confused. “But… I can be different.”
Father’s eyes met mine, soft and sad. “Can you fight against an illusion, Rooga?”
“I… no. Not yet.”
“The moment you’re caught, you only realize it once it’s gone,” he murmured. “Do you know when your mother’s heart first shattered?”
I shook my head.
“She was a girl your sister’s age. They sent two ‘monsters’ at her during training. She used her Violent Spark and burned them before they could touch her. When the illusion lifted, the monsters were her parents.”
My breath caught.
Father’s voice dropped even lower. “How about you, Rooga? If you were under an illusion and saw me and your mother as beasts, would you attack us?”
“I…” My lips trembled. “…I think Mama would stop me.”
Father’s jaw tightened. “No, Rooga. Mama would not fight you. She would accept her fate. Because to her, you’re not a weapon. You’re her son.”
He reached across the table, placing his rough hand gently over mine. “You’re not alone like she was. You have Elara, Mama, Riaz… and even me to protect you. Remember that.”
I stared at his hand, my eyes blurring. “I’m only three,” I whispered. “Why are you telling me this?”
His mouth quirked in a sad smile. “Because I can’t believe I’m talking to a three-year-old like this.”
For a moment, neither of us moved. Only Lyra’s soft humming to Riaz filled the room.
And for the first time, I felt the full weight of my mother’s fear.
The house was quiet that night. Father had gone to his room, Lyra hummed a lullaby to calm Riaz, and the hearth crackled faintly in the silence.
I sat alone on my little bed, legs dangling off the side, staring at my hands.
Monster.
Mama’s word echoed in my head, sharp as a blade.
I balled my fists, then loosened them again, staring at the faint glow of mana that pulsed at my fingertips. To me, it wasn’t monstrous. It was warm, alive, beautiful. With it, I could grow crops, protect my family, and light up the darkness.
But Father’s words still weighed heavy.
“She’s afraid you’ll grow up like her.”
“She would never fight you, Rooga.”
I lay back against the blanket, blinking up at the wooden ceiling.
Is it really so bad… being strong?
Images flickered in my head: Mama standing tall, flame dancing at her fingertips. People screaming, running. Papa swinging his sword with honor but carrying a curse inside him. Elara, so determined, training until her hands bled.
And then… me. Small. Too small.
I curled onto my side, pulling the blanket up.
“…If hiding my power keeps Mama from crying… then I’ll hide it,” I whispered to the dark.
If that’s what Mama wanted… then that’s what I would do.
For her sake. For Papa’s sake. For Elara, for Riaz.
I’d be their Rooga. Not their monster.