novelraw Chapter 63: Don’t Read While Eating, Seriously
Chapter 63: Don’t Read While Eating, Seriously
Closing the door, Yu Minglang placed the food on the coffee table. Qian walked over and sat on the sofa as he distributed the food, giving her a portion.
"You called me over just to watch you eat?" Qian adjusted her sitting position, still not used to his hard couch.
"I’ve been busy all day and haven’t had a drop of water." He dragged a single wooden chair over, situating himself in a spot where he could see her, but not so close as to be off-putting.
"Not thirsty?"
"I’m used to it. Back at the old job, I used to lie on top of the pigsty, covered by grass, lying in ambush for two days without moving."
Lying in wait without food or drink was typical at his old workplace, and although he had left, he occasionally missed it.
The pigsty... Qian glanced at the black rice porridge in front of her, speechless.
"That pigsty, have you seen one? All dense, dark, filthy—"
Dense and dark? Qian looked at the black rice porridge, losing her appetite.
She never knew Yu Minglang could be so gross, purposefully? As a means of retaliation?
Yu Minglang finally found a topic he deemed suitable enough not to make a girl feel awkward—at least, he thought so.
This angle was excellent—or so he believed.
"Near the pigsty was the chicken coop, and next to that was the duck shed. Do you know which is dirtier?"
"I, don’t, want, to, know!" Who wants to hear this? Is he trying to make people sick, is he?!
"I once lay in a mud pit, leaving only my head out, and accidentally tipped over, swallowing a mouthful of mud water. Do you know what mud water tastes like? It’s about the same color as the black rice porridge in front of you, haha!"
Having read extensively from masters of humor, refining what he thought was impeccable humor, Yu Minglang found Qian staring coolly at him, suddenly unable to laugh.
"Very funny?" She felt she didn’t need to feel guilty about this; honestly, this guy remained single in his past life, completely unrelated to her, totally!
"Uh, eat, eat!" Yu Minglang seemed to realize his opening line was not as he had imagined.
"I’m not hungry!" With his nauseating spectacle, who could eat?
"Why did you call me here?"
Qian felt she couldn’t continue messing around with him; she risked being led astray.
"I haven’t eaten; let me finish first, then we’ll talk." Yu Minglang grew nervous when switching to business.
"Alright, take your time eating, I’ll share something I’m interested in with you."
Yu Minglang instantly straightened up; this matter was crucial.
"You eat and talk." Qian’s eyes flashed with a cunning light.
Yu Minglang followed her instructions to the letter, sipping porridge while nibbling a meat bun, eyes loaded with anticipation.
Hoping to understand her better.
Qian was determined to retaliate against the pigsty gross-out—who thinks they alone can use professional skill to battle nausea?
"Did you know I majored in psychology in college? And why? Because I love watching ’Silence of the Lambs,’ that movie where they chop heads and eat brains. I wondered, when Hannibal eats brains, is it any different from you eating buns?"
In truth, she didn’t major in it because of that; she genuinely liked horror films—her excuse was pure fabrication to disgust Yu Minglang.
Yu Minglang paused mid-bite.
Qian’s eyes sparkled, continuing, "Of course, the disgusting films I’ve watched didn’t end there. Have you heard of ’The Mermaid Down the Drain’?"
Yu Minglang remained silent with the bun in his mouth.
Qian assumed his silence was due to ignorance—great, if he hasn’t heard of it, she could gross him out thoroughly!
"It’s about a mermaid covered in pustules, gushing and crawling with maggots—hey, is your bun stuffed with meat?" Oh, such satisfaction!
Yu Minglang slowly swallowed the bun as Qian gleefully pointed to the white porridge in front of him, "Those pustules, so thick and sticky, when they spew out, it’s about the same as your white porridge."
Determined to nauseate you! Chickens, ducks, geese, dogs, and cats couldn’t bug someone enough, but Qian couldn’t get the satisfaction out of her system.
"Actually, the movie reflects human damage to nature, albeit its filming tactics are somewhat bizarre. I personally don’t care for it much, but Hannibal, I enjoy." He took a sip of porridge and motioned at Qian’s untouched bowl, "Eat."
Qian was stunned. What...?
Is he even human?
He’s even construed it into an educational message, just what kind of brain does he possess?
"’Silence of the Lambs,’ as the Oscar winner for Best Picture, Best Actor, Best Actress, Best Director, and Best Adapted Screenplay, I reckon as superior to the mere curiosity ’The Mermaid Down the Drain.’ I’ve read the original, and personally feel the film adaptation is even more poignant..."
He spoke as he ate, while Qian swallowed and was left dumbfounded.
To derive meaning from anything—who taught him this skill?
Unbelievable... You’re a Yu Minglang who watches horror films?
"Watching these...it’s kind of strange."
"Why strange? I have some normal mental recreation too."
"..." His mental world is obviously richer than others, isn’t it?
"Can you eat and talk simultaneously?"
"After my postgraduate graduation, due to some special circumstances, I went to observe an execution, where the bullet went through the back of the head, leaving a large hole in the forehead, brain matter spilling over—its texture truly mimicking tofu pudding. At the time, I didn’t react strongly, but at lunch, when I ate tofu pudding, after a few bites I remembered it and instantly vomited. I didn’t eat anything the rest of the day, but ever since, I’ve been fine."
"..." So, he’s honed a poison-proof capacity, using his ’poison’ to disgust her?
For the seasoned Yu Minglang who still retained composure amidst chaos, Qian felt entirely defeated, overwhelmed by helplessness.
What faulty impulse led her to believe that she could disgust a man seasoned with immense psychological resilience?
"Yu Minglang, did you have many unique experiences at your old job?"
"..." He fell silent.
"Would guilt arise?"
"There’s only 3-5 seconds between orders and shooting, leaving no room for distractions."
If circumstances allowed choice, if negotiation wasn’t irredeemably failed, they would never choose such a path lightly.
"When you were just... impolite to me, were those 3-5 seconds any different, what was your thought process?"
Qian finally managed to steer the crooked topic back to its proper track, regardless of how convoluted and tangled their interaction in the room had been, the subject returned to its rightful place in the end.
A female boss is not someone you can kiss at whim!