novelraw Chapter 706 - 686: Confession
Chapter 706 - 686: Confession
Xie Jue thought of his family and felt a bit melancholic. Lan Ningzhen, on the other hand, didn’t seem to feel the slightest sadness about not being able to spend the new year at home. She chirped away, talking to Xie Jue, while he suppressed the longing in his heart and forced himself to focus on his book. Feeling bored, Lan Ningzhen picked up the jade and began carving. She truly didn’t know how to carve, clumsily grinding the jade with her knife, almost injuring herself several times. Xie Jue hesitated to say something, his attention divided between his book and her carving. Inevitably, Lan Ningzhen nicked herself, yet she didn’t cry out in pain—she seemed used to it. After applying medicine and wrapping her finger, she continued carving. This time, having learned her lesson, she wrapped all her fingers, though it made them less nimble, it spared her from further injuries.
"What are you carving?" Xie Jue asked casually.
Rarely did Xie Jue initiate a conversation with her, so Lan Ningzhen was delighted. "I’m carving you!" she exclaimed.
Xie Jue froze, his heart skipping a beat. As Lan Ningzhen gazed at him with sparkling eyes, he felt inexplicably drawn to her heart, as though she truly liked him.
"Don’t carve me," Xie Jue said. Staying undercover meant carving his likeness could expose him.
"I’m not very skilled, so even if I tried to carve your likeness, it wouldn’t resemble you—you’d be unrecognizable to anyone but me. It’s the thought that counts." Lan Ningzhen was entirely unconcerned, continuing her work with carefree determination. Xie Jue couldn’t stand it, but he chose not to snatch the jade away. Instead, he said, "Why not make me a gift? Carve something for me instead."
Lan Ningzhen’s eyes lit up instantly, filled with excitement. She straightened up enthusiastically and asked, "What do you want?"
Xie Jue felt slightly uncomfortable under her gaze. Glancing at the jade’s texture, he said, "Make me a pendant for a sash, so I can wear it at my waist."
"What kind of pendant do you like?"
Xie Jue liked orchids, but floral designs might be too challenging for Lan Ningzhen, who was just a beginner. He considered the typical Beiman ornaments—cows, dragons, and phoenixes, none of which appealed to him. Lan Ningzhen’s skill level made detailed designs impractical, so Xie Jue simply sketched a round pendant resembling a copper coin but then perceived it as too ordinary. He erased the design, opting instead for a plain circular ornament.
Lan Ningzhen was overjoyed. "Alright! I’ll carve it for you. Just wait!"
Now that Xie Jue had given Lan Ningzhen something to occupy herself with, she stopped pestering him and focused all her attention on crafting the jade pendant for him. This brought Xie Jue some relief. Watching her enthusiastically polish the jade piece, he gently shook his head; a jade like this, if given to Yanyang artisans, could have been crafted into a set of jewelry worth a fortune.
Men from Yanyang often wore jade, mostly choosing white jade. This vibrant green pendant, however, was rare. Xie Jue couldn’t help but look forward to what Lan Ningzhen might create.
Why was he looking forward to it?
Xie Jue suddenly froze, noticing a faint sense of joy creeping into his heart. It was as if someone had dumped a bucket of cold water over him. Xie Jue, what are you thinking?
The day passed quickly.
Tonight, the snow wasn’t as heavy. After spending the entire day carving, Lan Ningzhen’s eyes were slightly strained. She lay down against the table. The room was lit by an oil lamp as she remarked, "Mr. Helian, you’ve been reading all day. Aren’t your eyes tired?"
"Yes, they are!" Xie Jue finally put down the book. Wrapped in a cloak, Xie Jue wasn’t cold, unlike Lan Ningzhen, who rolled around unceremoniously in her heavy cloak.
Glancing at the jade pendant, Xie Jue couldn’t help feeling exasperated at the slow progress; it had been an entire day, yet it still didn’t seem close to completion.
"How about I carve a little crescent moon inside the pendant?" Lan Ningzhen suggested enthusiastically.
"Why a crescent moon?"
Lan Ningzhen sat up straight, gazing directly at Xie Jue. With a faint smile, she said, "Because I think you are like the moon—distant, unattainable, pure, and pristine. I want to hold you in my palm, suspend you in the sky, where everyone can only revere your light."
Xie Jue was stunned by the poetic analogy, his expression softening inadvertently. Lan Ningzhen’s deep eyes seemed not only to see him but to look through him, into someone else, into a story of the past—or perhaps into the fleeting heartache of a youthful love.
"But I also want to pull this light down into the dust," Lan Ningzhen said, her gaze growing heavier with a complex mixture of fondness and sorrow. "I am a person marked by sin, yet I long to tarnish such tender and luminous light. I am guilty. I feel shame, I am unworthy—I shouldn’t harbor such wicked desires. But one night, as I looked up at the moonlight, I admitted my guilt. I just want to pull the moon down with me into ruin. And there’s no shame in that. I accepted it and became a sinner."
Xie Jue felt a strange thrum in his chest. Her words didn’t seem to be directed at him but rather someone else—someone with whom she shared an unspoken bond. But he had no such deep connection with her. When had they ever had a bond like this?
Her feelings burned too fiercely. How could there be love and hatred without reason in this world?
Unless...
"Lan Ningzhen, are you mistaking me for someone else?" Xie Jue asked perceptively. From the whistle at their first meeting to her fleeting surprise, to her disregard for his warnings and her unwavering closeness—she ignored the disparities in their identities and persisted in staying by his side. For a young lady of the Lan Family to chase after the Qianling Town youth of such modest station, facing the scorn of others, was unusual. And yet, she did not care.
Could it be that she once had a regretful lover who resembled him? Had she transferred all her feelings to him?
Lan Ningzhen burst into laughter as though she had heard a ridiculous joke. Tears glimmered amidst her mirth. "Mr. Helian, you’re so perceptive. Here I am confessing to you, and yet you’re killing the mood."
"There isn’t deep affection between us. You don’t truly know me, so how could you have developed such feelings? Infatuation is simply attraction; attraction doesn’t come with profound ties—just sensory stimulation." Xie Jue’s voice was steady, his heart unexpectedly calm as he connected the dots.
Lan Ningzhen contemplated briefly. "Just think of me as deluded, then."
Xie Jue etched her earlier words deep into his memory; they didn’t seem like something Lan Ningzhen would say to Helian Feng.
"What do you like about me? My looks? But that’s not true—you didn’t even know whether I was handsome or plain before coming here. My temperament? It’s unappealing. My character? We’re unfamiliar; you don’t know me well enough to evaluate that. So, tell me—what exactly do you like about me?"
Lan Ningzhen raised an eyebrow. "Do feelings need to be broken down into points one, two, and three?"
"Of course. Don’t they?"
Lan Ningzhen shook her head gently, her gaze tender. "I like the snow that drifts through the air. I like the eagles that soar over snowy mountains. I like the winds that blow across the lake in June—all these likes have no reason. Just like when I like the way you smile when you glance back. In that moment, you took up residence in my heart."