novelraw Chapter 117 Brain hole
Chapter 117 Brain hole
In the middle of the night, I took a small sedan chair to the Taimiao Temple, and in the sedan chair was the queen in casual clothes.
The emperor quietly greeted her at the side door, and stretched out his arms a little excitedly.
The queen yawned and was embraced by him: "Huang Sang, when will you return to the palace? I haven't slept fully for several days."
The emperor laughed in a low voice: "Haha, Zi Tong has worked hard, I will find an excuse to end the prayer early tomorrow, and go back to accompany you, okay?"
"En." The queen was still not satisfied, so she had no choice but to do so.After walking a few more steps, I entered the emperor's humble dormitory. Food and drink were already set on the table, and the emperor said: "My lady, please."
The queen untied her cloak: "Your Majesty, let's have a word beforehand. If you don't come back to the palace tomorrow night, I won't come either. When I came out today, I felt that Daiyu had discovered me. I am a dignified queen mother, and I am a role model for the world." , How can I go out of the palace and have a private meeting with someone." Destroying my image so much is just for your momentary pleasure, it takes trouble and delays my sleep, and it makes me lose face, it's really annoying.
The left and right Gong'e eunuchs retreated winkingly, closed the doors and windows, and stayed away from the door, so they didn't need to be ordered more.
The emperor held her hand with a playful smile: "Zi Tong~ Do you want me to stay alone in the empty room? The night is long and I don't want to sleep~ Why don't you come and do something fun?"
The queen twisted her body: "The emperor is praying for the sake of the world, why is he not paying attention at all?"
"Well, it's not that I want to come to pray for blessings, it's all forced by those officials." The emperor rolled his eyes and drank a glass of wine very unhappy: "You don't know, I pretended to be pure-hearted and fasting to pray for blessings. They are still corrupt, and even put their hands into the disaster relief funds that have just been allocated to Jindi. It is true that officials are not afraid of death, but only love money."
The queen sighed: "Your salary is rich, the people are fat and the people are anointed, the people are easy to abuse, and God is hard to bully. They see this, why don't they accept it?" I want to make new clothes, but because the emperor is thrifty now, Me, I'm also frugal.
I want spices, I want to repair the house, I want to make jewelry, I want to burn another set of good porcelain... Forget it, everything costs tens of thousands of taels of silver, that's all.
The emperor felt that his wife's words came to his heart, nodded, sighed deeply, and drank a glass of wine: "Forget it, there is not enough evidence now, and I can't find anything if I ask someone to search, and wait until next spring." , send someone to investigate this ink corruption case, arrest a batch and kill a batch, so that I can relieve my resentment!" His face was full of murderous looks, and his tone was serious.
The queen quietly gave him a glass of wine, and she lowered her eyes without saying a word: "Your Majesty, drink a glass of wine slowly, don't be so fierce, you won't scare the child."
The emperor sneered, and pointed to the queen's belly: "If he is the material to be an emperor, he will definitely understand his father's state of mind at this time in the future. If not, then he should learn more." He looks like he wants to choose someone. bite.
The queen was not afraid, and smiled lightly: "Yes, what the emperor said is, what if this is a daughter? You scared her."
The expression on her face was soft and gentle, and she looked as beautiful as a jade Guanyin under the warm orange candlelight.
The emperor's anger stopped short, he covered his eyes and sighed: "It is I who lost my temper, the empress is not to blame."
He asked ramblingly again: "How is your appetite today?"
The queen acted coquettishly as if nothing had happened: "No, I don't want to eat anything, but I'm greedy for sturgeon fish. The Northeast is blocked by heavy snow, and the tribute hasn't arrived yet, so I have to wait."
In fact, I enjoyed the meal, chatting with Daiyu while eating goose palms, I was full, and because I was bored, I explained to her the advantages and disadvantages of various wines: goose palms should be paired with wine!But if the truth is told, the emperor will not be happy.
The emperor's heart softened, and he said softly: "Even if you force yourself, you can take a few mouthfuls."
Is it because I don't eat with you when I'm not by your side?Oh~ I'm so happy~
The queen is too embarrassed to say it directly, it is really heartwarming~
The queen nodded with a smile, touched her face: "Do you see that I have lost weight?"
The emperor stared at her for a while, dazed and fascinated: "The ring is fat, the swallows are thin,,, bah, it's unlucky. If you lose a little weight, it doesn't matter. I will go back to eat with you tomorrow, make up for it, and make it up soon. "While speaking, he took a piece of duck meat and fed it to the queen.
The queen ate with his chopsticks, blushing with embarrassment.
The emperor chuckled, and forgot all the troubles. Eating too much at night is not good for health. He just ate a few sips of wine: "I heard that the Jia family named a noble concubine, because when playing cards with you, flattery Your empress is happy? Your empress is so generous."
The queen nodded with a virtuous face: "She was born in the Rongguo Mansion, she has been very safe in the palace for many years, respectful and courteous (omit the stereotypes), there are very few concubines in the emperor's palace (omit the stereotypes)"
The emperor interrupted her while drinking with a smile: "Enough, such a lie can be written in the imperial decree, why use it to lie to me?"
The queen giggled, feeling a little embarrassed.
The emperor asked again: "Why?"
"The imperial concubine is not very quiet. The empress dowager is holding a gun with a stick when she talks to me, as if the status of the imperial concubine is so noble and rare. Although the imperial concubine is strong on the outside, she still has to put on a domineering look, hum. The queen looked at her red-dyed nails with a coquettish expression: "I want them to know that a concubine, even a female history who has served the queen for several years, is worthy of being a female history. There is nothing to be proud of. When you mention the concubine, you are like a concubine." I am angry that the noble concubine is favored and the middle palace is not favored, full of jealousy."
The emperor laughed loudly: "Okay, it's just that it's too expensive to make a noble concubine and to repair the palace and increase the division."
Think about the noble concubine who has always been proud of being a famous family and the empress dowager's niece seeing another noble concubine who was born in a famous family and once served as the queen's female history, hahaha, she must feel very humiliated, hahaha, that is really happy.The queen is really smart, and she really knows how to run on people.
The queen pursed her lips and smiled, a little proud and a little embarrassed.
The emperor thought for a while: "In a few days when it snows in the Heavenly Palace, the sage and the concubines will hold a banquet in the imperial garden to enjoy the snow, and ask the two concubines to sit opposite each other, okay?" It must be very angry that some false names are shared by others.
The queen smiled and clapped her hands: "Okay, that must be very interesting, heck, it's fun to appreciate the snow."
The emperor nodded with a smile: "Where did you seal her up? Tell me, so I can hide from her in the future."
"Fengzao Palace."
"Fengzao Palace? Isn't that where we collect books?"
"She is now the Shangshu, sealed as Fengzao Palace Shangshu, this is called not forgetting her duty."
"Hahahaha, you really like to joke." Could it be that Jia Yuanchun likes Shangshu, the librarian's job?The emperor was slightly drunk, and pushed away the wine glass on the table: "Empress Xiaohui (Zhang Yan) was found to be a virgin by the palace maid when she was buried. It shocked the world. I don't know when Jia was buried. Will the latecomers question me?"
The queen was very speechless, and every time Jin conferred a concubine, he had to find an unfavorable reason for not pampering the concubine, and then asked and answered by himself.
What I said last time was, "If you don't pamper the He family, will someone say that the Jiaofang is the only pamper?" ’ Finally, I found a reason: ‘The concubine spies on the emperor, and the courtiers have an affair with the inner curtain, intending to assassinate the king?The matter of the harem is family background, so what should I do with others. '
I don't know what excuse the emperor will find this time to solve this problem.
The emperor asked solemnly: "When the concubine is buried, how can I find out that she is still a virgin?"
"Huh?" The queen was stunned, and she remained silent for a long time.
This question is really puzzling.
The emperor thought about it for himself: "The etiquette system for the emperor's burial,,, I have seen it, but I forgot. Oh!" He slapped his hands.
The queen raised her head in dizzy thinking: "Has the emperor figured it out?"
The emperor nodded, and said with a sense of accomplishment: "Do you still remember the nine orifices of the jade plug? When gold and jade are in the nine orifices, the dead will be immortal." Eyes, nose, ears, mouth, ass, life Straight stopper.
The queen suddenly realized: "No wonder it was discovered!"
Thinking that it was the maid of honor who had done something bad to Empress Xiaohui, she lowered her head to cover her expression slightly, the emperor's research on these things is really boring.It's still a little disgusting, forget it, these weird and weird things are right for entertainment.
The emperor looked down at his lower body, although he didn't know what the jade stuffed in the nine orifices looked like, but,,, it hurts to think about it.Men should only be able to stuff eight, but the butt is fine, but there is none in the front!Why fortify nine, isn't it? ?
Shove it in?Hiss, it hurts just thinking about it! !Could it be that there is a difference in size, and it is actually just a jade needle?
The queen couldn't take it anymore, the emperor was full of wild thoughts, she guessed in her heart what the emperor was thinking, and guessed a lot of unpleasant thoughts.I had to interrupt his train of thought: "Your Majesty, who are you angry with when I come?"
As expected, the emperor's attention was diverted, and he replied truthfully: "I was reading a book just now, and the teacher said in front of me: It is advisable to open Zhang Shengting, to honor the virtues of the late emperor, and to show the spirit of lofty ideals. The road of loyalty and remonstrance."
The queen said softly: "Marquis Wu is old and loyal, and he is a figure from a thousand years ago. How can he make the emperor angry?"
The emperor's face sank: "Hmph, these words are so similar to the memorial written by Mr. Wang. After reading the book, I realized that he compares himself to Zhuge Wuhou, but regards me as Liu Adou. Humph!"
Mad!He drank another big glass of wine: "Compared with Marquis Wu, he doesn't talk about martial arts and martial arts, that's bullying, and he doesn't talk about loyalty. Compared with loyalty to the emperor, few people can compare with Marquis Wu, but just He can’t even compare to his incorruptibility. I know that he wished he could have the power of Marquis Wu, be prime minister, start a mansion (form his own political team), and lead the state pastor (prime minister and local administrator). Hmph.”
The queen said: "The wine is already cold, don't drink it."
The emperor obediently put down his wine glass, and complained again: "He compared the needles used to sew the shoes that Marquis Wu wore when he was alive, and the piece of dog shit next to him when he was not smelted into iron or iron ore, and buried in the soil waiting to be mined. No way. How can I compare Liu Adou to the moon in the sky and the moon in the water? Not to mention anything else, how can Emperor Zhaolie's mental city be compared to the Supreme Emperor?"
The queen couldn't help laughing and said: "Your Majesty, in the Taimiao, said this in front of Taixian Emperor's spiritual throne, are you not afraid of dreaming at night?"
What a mean person, I really love him to death!It's hard for you to insist on connecting iron ore, no, linking shit with Marquis Wu without hurting his elegance.
The emperor curled his lips: "I asked Yao Sanlang, and he said that the soul will not stay here. The wise king who should go to heaven will go to heaven to enshrine the gods, and the stupid king who has changed to the earth will be punished in hell. This world and the world on earth are all for me alone. .”
Hearing what he said, the empress was so proud and imposing that her body softened, and she blinked at him with watery eyes: "Your Majesty, what a hero." So handsome!like!But I still have no money to spend!Forget it, if it weren't for the fact that you are more frugal than me, you wouldn't give up.
…………
Yao Sanlang was reading at night with the lamp on, and he made a mistake, so he picked up Ye Mingzhu and buried himself in the study.
Suddenly I heard someone outside the window snapping their fingers. It seemed to be a bloated dwarf under the moonlight.
He was a little puzzled, and raised his voice to ask, "Who is it?"
The man outside the window didn't answer, only heard a chuckle, and the man turned around and left.
Yao Sanlang felt doubtful, felt that the voice sounded familiar, he chased to the door, and was pleasantly surprised: "Sister? Why are you here?"
It turned out to be Lin Daiyu in a cloak, and the weather was too cold, otherwise she would definitely be able to see her slender waist under the moonlight.
Daiyu looked back at him, smiled slightly and said, "I'm leaving."
Yao Sanlang quickly stood in front of her: "You came to see me, why did you leave without saying a word? If I'm done chasing you out, you just go back for nothing?"
Daiyu said: "Come here when you are excited, and return when you are exhausted."
In fact, she felt embarrassed when she reached the door, turned around and tried to run but was caught.
I have no choice but to quote the words of the ancients and pretend that I am casual... with the demeanor of a hermit.
The author has something to say: The Northeast was blocked by heavy snow, referring to my courier that was delayed on the road for many days and did not arrive, because of the smog, all kinds of outages.
The emperor's brain is awesome. In fact, I didn't understand how Zhang Yan found out about this at the beginning. After writing it, it suddenly became clear...
That... the cold is basically gone, and I should have written two chapters in one go, but first I read half of the novel, and then went to Zhihu to read a lot... It was all delayed.The second watch is still served at night.