Ravens of Eternity

Chapter 478: Bonus - 1

This Chapter occurs in the middle of Arc 8, between Chapters 330 and 331. I meant to write it back then, but completely forgot. Whoops! Here it is now, as a bonus. Please enjoy!

~@~

Night had finally fallen on the beautiful de Jardin sanctuary planet. The wind was even, the skies were clear, and the weather was temperate and calm. The Corvus Republic was midway through its weeklong celebration and discussion regarding the formation of their Constitution, the Articles of their Republic.

It was a process that gave each of them a greater sense of solidarity, certainly more than they had ever experienced in their lives prior to joining the fleet. It was something that gave them stability and strength, as well a communal goal for them to strive towards.

For many, it was a moment in time where they felt true peace in their lives. After all, they had finally found their place within the greater galaxy. Some felt true joy, not just having found a sense of freedom, but that of belonging and togetherness.

Far too many of them had previously lived lives of captives or slaves or experiments or refugees and had little to no control over their fates. Now, they had an abundance of it. Their lives truly were in their own hands, and nothing could possibly take it away from them.

They had reached a point where they would have fought to the death to keep the freedoms they had gained.

The ships of the Republic were parked in a large circle around a vast field, and every member of the fleet was camped out in small groups in the middle of it all. Although most were settling down for the night and winding down, some were still active and running around and having great amounts of fun.

One such group was filled with the shapeshifting wolves, and they ran around the edges and chased after each other playfully. Freya and Lucifer joined them as shifted wolves themselves, with black and white fur respectively. All were utterly blind to everything but the pure joy and thrill of a playful hunt.

In another group somewhere closer to the middle, Xylo and her musical band played a slow but happy song with their instruments. Their tune wove through the air as couples and families and small groups of children danced nearby.

More sat around in small groups and chatted lightly to the music while others simply gazed up into the starry sky. A few snoozed peacefully thanks to the soothing lull of the music itself.

In yet another cluster among the people, various tents and temporary shelters had been erected. There, a few groups had prepared various food and drink, which they happily served to anyone that was hungry or thirsty.

And there was a great variety of foods, many were custom-made concoctions, some were their traditional comfort foods, while others were pure delicacies. In any case, any who sampled the food were utterly wowed by the various flavors surrounding them. For some, it was the first time in their lives that they experienced anything beyond gruel or tasteless food pastes and nutritional bars.

Claire was mixed in among the crowds there, surrounded by all manner of folks, typically the younger kids. She told them all stories of their earlier days as Ravens, long before the Republic even existed. And although technically it wasn’t all that long ago, the way she told it made it seem as though decades had passed.

In truth, they had done so much in the few years that they were active that it practically seemed like decades did indeed occur.

All listened with rapt attention to her stories as they nibbled on snacks or sipped on their drinks.

At the very center of it all was the rocky outcropping where they held their first assembly only a few cycles ago. There were small groups scattered around it, mostly pairs who wanted some privacy to chat quietly or snuggle in contemplation.

Kali sat atop one of the rocks and gazed up into the sky, though she was far from happy or content. Though she was certainly comfortable with the life she had now, there was a deep sadness that seemed to wrap around her.

Next to her was a half-eaten plate of food, along with a mostly untouched intoxicating beverage. Both grew colder as the night progressed.

“Hey, you doing okay?” Amal asked her quietly. “You look like you could use some company.”

She climbed up on the outcropping where Kali was, and set herself down next to her with a warm smile painted on her face.

“Yeah, I guess,” Kali replied. “Just going through some stuff, nothing too bad.”

“Feel like sharing?” asked Amal. “Not that you have to if you don’t want to, of course.”

Kali nodded slowly. Her sadness easily permeated through the air, which Amal easily felt. Though it felt thick and almost suffocating, she didn’t shy away from it. Instead, she leaned into it and scooted closer to Kali to lend her more warmth.

It was such a simple, emphatic move that quickly eased most of the tension from Kali’s body.

“I... it’s kinda tough for me to talk about,” Kali began. “But I’ll try.”

Her voice was shaky and unsure, more than it had ever been. At least, that Amal had ever experienced.

“It’s alright, take your time,” Amal replied. “Don’t have to talk about it at all if you don’t want to. Could just sit here and people watch the rest of the night if you prefer.”

“I get it. And I think I do need to talk,” Kali said. “Been bottling it all up for way too long. It’s easy to ignore when we’re on a job, or when we’re fighting some tyrant somewhere. Hell, it’s easy to channel when we’re in combat. But times like these, when it’s quiet... It just kinda gets to me.”

Amal nodded in response, but otherwise didn’t say anything. Instead, she gave Kali the space to sort through her thoughts along with the time to say them.

“So you suggested a while ago that I talk to more people and whatnot,” Kali continued. “Maybe even start putting myself out there. Maybe not like dating, but opening up and all that. Just start being more present for others.”

“How’s that going for you?” Amal asked. “I’m guessing not so good?”

Kali nodded solemnly. To her, ‘not so good’ was putting it lightly.

“It’s alright though, it was just a suggestion,” Amal continued. “You don’t have to pressure yourself to do anything if you don’t want to do it.”

“That’s just it, though,” Kali countered. “I do wanna put myself out there more. It’s just that I lived that crazy cult life for so long that... I dunno. I wanna get away from it. I don’t want it to be a part of me any more.

“Having all these people around us is a real big change for me, in its own way. I mean, I grew up with hundreds of... others nearby. But it wasn’t like this at all, in the slightest. That life was about duty and ranking and orders and... and obedience.”

Kali looked out all around, and gestured to the people around them.

“This is actual community,” she said. “And I’m so not used to any of it. It helps so much being a part of it all, but...”

“But?” asked Amal. “You need more, right?”

Kali nodded solemnly again.

“I need something more personal,” Kali replied. “A deeper connection. My mind and body and soul are craving that feeling. It’s something I never had before. It was repressed and all that. And everytime I see Freya and Lucifer bound around together it just... It hits deep.”

“That’s perfectly natural and totally understandable,” Amal said. “We all want that kind of companionship and togetherness. Just give yourself time to adjust and I’m sure it’ll all be just fine. Take it slow. See people bit by bit. Open up as much as you can handle.”

“I know, I know. It’s just that when I do get close to someone... Like, you know Failen in engineering? One of Miko’s apprentices? I tried to go out with him a couple of times. Nothing too crazy or fancy, like we went sightseeing on Montsoll when we were docked there a few weeks ago.”

“How’d that go?”

“Terrible. Well, actually, the date itself went alright, had fun. But... I just couldn’t connect with Failen in any meaningful way. And worse, when I tried to open up and be more physically intimate, I just...”

Kali shivered slightly as she recalled that moment in time. Her body hunched over slightly as she grasped and embraced herself in an attempt to comfort the way she felt.

More than that, her voice started to crack and waver as she spoke.

“Everytime I looked at him, at anyone I tried to ‘be’ with, all I saw was... All I saw was Father,” Kali said. “His face kept showing up in my head, and all kinds of memories just took over me.”

She then buried her face in her hands and sobbed lightly.

Amal immediately scooted even closer, and rubbed Kali’s back softly. She held her close and did her best to comfort her.

“Memories of him on top of me,” Kali continued. “Or inside of me. Every time. I couldn’t ever shake it. With Failen, I ended up... I just ran away, left him in the middle of whatever market we were at. I ran back to our shuttle, hid in the back, and just broke down...

“And it’s like that with everyone I’ve ever tried to... to open up to.”

Amal held Kali close in a tight embrace. She had gone through her own traumas in life and easily identified with what Kali was going through and what she was feeling. She didn’t need her legendary empathy to understand.

“I’m sorry,” she said. “I know what that’s like. Been there a few times, so I know how much it can weigh you down, you know?

“I was like that for a long time, too. So much was taken from me, forcefully. My home, my life, my future, my... womanhood. All more than once. It honestly felt like I was at the bottom of the world in the darkest pit, with no way out.

“I could see the sun and the sky high above, with walls of dirt a dozen meters tall all around me. Clawing my way out felt impossible.

“And it took a lot of work, and being around friends and loved ones to get it all back. Like Freya and Miko and Claire and Xylo and Luci. And you, of course. Plus everyone here around us.

“Honestly, there’s so many others who’ve gone through what we both have, maybe even worse. They’re here for us, too. All we gotta do is surround ourselves with each other, and I promise things will get better.

“And hey, you know what? Since the two of us have seriously way too long lives, we’re practically guaranteed to work through it all. You know what I’m saying?”

Kali half-laughed and half-sobbed at Amal’s joke. There was certainly a kernel of truth in what she said - they had all the time in the galaxy to work through their problems. To turn their weaknesses into massive strengths.

Though it might take decades.

Not that she wanted it to take decades.

Kale wiped a tear from her eye, then leaned her head on Amal’s shoulder.

“Wanna know something?” she said. “I kinda lied when I said everyone brought out memories of Father... I meant everyone but you. When we talk or when I’m next to you, like right now, I feel alright. You’re the only person I feel like I could be myself, could be stronger than who I am.

“You’re the only one who I can lean on just like this, and open up to. What’s that mean? Is that wrong?”

Amal shook her head.

“Means you’re human,” she replied. “And truth be told, you’re the only person I’ve felt most comfortable with, too. I’ve shared a whole lot with the rest of the Ravens, but you’re the only one I’ve ever shared everything with. Especially the deepest, darkest parts of me. Definitely more than anyone else in my life. Not my blood family. Not the Laertidus. Not even Freya and Miko.

“And there’s absolutely nothing wrong with any of it.”

Amal then placed her hand on top of Kali’s, and for the first time in a long while, the galaxy seemed to be alright.