novelraw Chapter 46 Death or Life
Chapter 46 Death or Life
He had assumed Xu Yan would reject it outright.
Instead, Xu Yan silently looked at him, her lips pressed tightly together, saying nothing.
That reaction alone made Jiang Ran realize—
[…Cheng Mengxue’s death definitely wasn’t a simple accident. There must be something else behind it!]
He didn’t speak either.
He waited for Xu Yan to speak, waited for the real answer.
“We don’t know.”
Don’t know—what did that mean?
Jiang Ran didn’t understand.
“How exactly did Xiaoxue die? There should at least be a conclusion, right? What was the situation back then—there has to be some account of it, doesn’t there?”Xu Yan finally shook her head and said softly.
Her gaze drifted away.
“Jiang Ran, you should know better than anyone that the stretch of road where Xiaoxue had her accident didn’t have any surveillance cameras. No one knows what happened at the time.”
“Of course, in the end, Xiaoxue’s cause of death was definitely a traffic accident. It’s just that what happened before that…”
She trailed off, then looked at Jiang Ran.
“Logically speaking, you should know better than anyone. After all…”
[…When Xiaoxue was in the car accident, you were right beside her;
and the route you two were taking wasn’t even the way to the exam center.]
What?
When Cheng Mengxue died, he had been right next to her?
And the route they were taking wasn’t even toward the exam center?
That was extremely strange.
June 8, 2023, was the second day of the college entrance examination. They should have been on their way to the exam site—so why would they deliberately take a detour?
Unfortunately—
After the Worldline Transition, he only possessed memories from the original worldline, and had no historical memories from the current one.
That meant that even if the him from two years ago had personally witnessed Cheng Mengxue’s death, his mind now was still completely blank, without a single image.
“I don’t remember.”
Jiang Ran said truthfully.
“Maybe it really was too much of a shock for me, and it messed up my memory—maybe I even lost some memories I didn’t dare to face.”
“Can you tell me everything again? Since I was with Xiaoxue the whole time back then, when the police investigated or took statements later, I definitely would’ve told them the truth.”
Xu Yan smiled helplessly.
“I already answered you, Jiang Ran. ‘We don’t know.’ No one knows what happened back then.”
[…Back then, your explanation was exactly the same as it is now. You completely didn’t remember what happened, didn’t remember why you took Xiaoxue on a detour—didn’t remember anything at all.]
Things were getting more and more complicated.
Two years ago, on June 8, 2023, the two of them—who should have been heading to the exam center—suddenly deviated from their route and detoured in the opposite direction;
Then, no one knew what happened in between, and in the end Cheng Mengxue was struck by a car and died in an accident;
Throughout all of it, he had been by Cheng Mengxue’s side. He should have witnessed everything, known every reason;
Yet he, the only eyewitness, had lost the relevant memories—remembered nothing.
[…Memory loss.]
Why such a coincidence?
Why was it precisely the most critical stretch of memory that was missing?
“Actually, I didn’t really want to talk to you about this.”
Seeing Jiang Ran look increasingly troubled, Xu Yan continued.
“I still remember the scene in the hospital. So many people surrounded you, asking question after question—police officers, adults, teachers… everyone wanted to hear the truth from your mouth.”
“But back then, your emotions were already on the verge of collapse. You said you didn’t remember anything—that you opened your eyes and saw Xiaoxue lying on the road, covered in blood. It was obvious you’d been severely traumatized.”
“The doctors speculated that you were suffering from temporary amnesia due to extreme shock. It’s a kind of self-protection mechanism of the human brain. It’s not unique to you—similar symptoms appear in many accidents.”
Listening to Xu Yan’s account,
Jiang Ran began to thread the clues together in his mind, gradually connecting the historical timeline.
No wonder everyone said he had suffered psychological trauma and couldn’t walk out of Cheng Mengxue’s death;
No wonder he missed two exams, causing his college entrance exam score to be only enough for a junior college;
No wonder his parents, who had pinned their hopes on him, were terrified he’d spiral or break down, and didn’t let him repeat a year;
And no wonder Xu Yan and Wang Hao were always comforting him, telling him over and over that none of this was his fault, that he shouldn’t blame himself too much.
The main reasons leading to all of this were:
1. He and Cheng Mengxue had changed their route together and didn’t go to the exam center.
2. There were no surveillance cameras on the road where the accident happened, and he had lost his memory, leaving the truth impossible to verify.
3. With everything unexplained, he inevitably fell into deep self-blame and self-doubt, believing that he had caused Cheng Mengxue’s death.
Although everyone believed that the him from two years ago had lost his memory due to extreme shock,
Jiang Ran felt that things were far from that simple.
So what was the correct answer?
The current him had arrived here through a Worldline Transition, and not possessing the history of this worldline was reasonable.
But why was it that two years ago, when Cheng Mengxue had her accident, the him back then also had no memory when questioned by the police?
He couldn’t figure it out no matter how he thought about it.
Xu Yan spoke gently.
“To be honest, Jiang Ran, seeing you regain your spirit these past couple of days has really made me happy.”
“You and Xiaoxue are only a year younger than me, but I’ve always thought of you as my own younger brother and sister. I was really worried about you.”
“If you can’t remember, then don’t force yourself to. Don’t fall into the dead end of self-blame. Just like we’ve said countless times… this isn’t your fault. You didn’t do anything wrong.”
“No matter what reason it was that made you two not go to the exam center that day, the car accident itself was still just an accident.”
“Do you understand, Jiang Ran? It’s an accident that no one wanted to happen. And the driver didn’t flee either—every piece of evidence proves that this was simply an accident, completely unrelated to you.”
She really was like an older sister, her words gentle and warm.
“Cheer up, smile a little. What’s past is past. You still have to look forward and continue living your life.”
“Are you happy at school? Have you gotten a girlfriend? Any plans to transfer to a bachelor’s program?”
“Senior!”
At the entrance to the screening room, a film club member waved.
“Senior, we’re about to start the meeting. Are you coming?”
“Okay, I’ll be right there.”
After responding, Xu Yan withdrew her gaze and patted Jiang Ran on the shoulder.
“Don’t think about this anymore. History has already been set—you and I can’t change it.”
“For the living, the future is what matters most. After all…”
[…The dead are destined never to be revived.]
She turned to the side.
With one last wave to Jiang Ran, she walked away, her small high heels clicking softly.
At that point—
Only Jiang Ran remained in the screening room.
Empty. Silent.
Outside the window, cicadas cried endlessly as sunlight filtered in, a Tyndall effect scattering beams of light.
He thought of the body covered with a white sheet in the hospital—Xu Yan back then;
He thought of Cheng Mengxue’s flushed, drunken face at the luxurious cruise ship’s dining table;
[…The dead can be revived.]
Jiang Ran murmured.
As long as he used time-traveling text messages, there was no regret that couldn’t be mended.
He lifted his head, looking toward Xu Yan’s departing figure.
[…If I can bring you back to life, then I can bring Xiaoxue back to life too.]