Perversions of the Flesh

Chapter 234: Smells Like a Lovely Time

“I’m so so so sorry,” Ann apologised profusely. Her ears lay flat against her head, her tail drooping as she knelt in front of Tarnu. “That’s never been a problem before, and I swear we will be more discreet next time.”

“You’d better. Smells like that can set someone off. Not to mention the stink of that Goddess on you.”

“Ok, well, we couldn’t really do anythin’ about that one. She comes an’ goes as she pleases,” Kat shrugged, standing casually with Rosalyn behind Ann. “Any way tae get ‘er scent off?”

A knock had interrupted their discussion of Lucia’s skills. The Huntress had really been holding out on them. Both the utility she could bring and the damage she could deal were immense. There’d been a slight argument about why she hadn’t been using some of her skills, but she refused to elaborate. If she had needed to use the skills, she would have, and that was that. Kat had argued that there were plenty of places Trick Shot would have been useful, but Lucia didn’t see it that way.

Tarnu all but shouted for them to come out of the tent. Every word he spoke was a growl, like he was barely holding himself back. Fur was nearly to his face, and his mandibles clattered constantly. Apparently, the group had made a literal stink. Lucia, being the only one of them with a keen nose, and her lack of speaking up, meant they never considered the possibility. So apparently half the city knew they’d all been fucking, and that a Goddess had appeared in their midst. That, according to Tarnu, was actually worse than the sex. They were cursed, but they still had urges.

He had dragged the five of them away, up closer to Eldest of All’s mansion to get them out of the town, and away from others. Which brought them to this point, getting chastised for Orenous popping up. And fucking. It was really both.

“Go topside and roll in the snow for a bit,” Tarnu growled. “Keep away from Eldest of All until I check you. We don’t need him flying into a rage.”

“Agreed,” the party answered in chorus.

Ten minutes of snow bathing later, they tried, but Tarnu sent them back for more.

“I never thought I’d be sentenced to playing in the snow by someone other than mom,” Ann laughed, tackling Kat from behind, sending them both rolling in the powdery white crystals. 

Rosalyn and Lucia were happily pelting each other with snowballs, but after a couple of minutes decided that Bren was a better target. The man had used his newest skill to create a dome around himself, but they just ran inside and kept up the barrage. Hilariously, Lucia could use Trick Shot on snowballs and was doing her best to get around Bren’s shields while Rosalyn distracted him, but Bren seemed to know where they were going to bounce nearly every time. Lucia shouted about him cheating, and he just stuck his tongue out at her.

After that, their task was apparently complete. Descending back into the cave, an odd sight greeted them. Eldest of All had crawled out of his mansion and was dragging his way into the town. He moved slowly, and the people around him gave the ancient dragon plenty of space. Still, he accidentally knocked over some shelters with his stony bulk. It was sad, in a way, to see him moving and his wings pinned to his sides, useless with their weight. Regardless, even from the entrance, they could feel the happy rumbles through the stone.

When they met up with the old creature, he was speaking with the Crystal Cook. Though no one else seemed to understand her, the dragon was holding a conversation well enough. Tinkling chatter was returned by rumbling words as the Eldest’s blood dripped from boulders split in a wide smile.

“It is good to hear, old friend. I will make it known what you need. I wouldn’t have the town’s cook wanting for anything.”

The Cook waved a crystalline hand, dismissing his concern along with a clattering.

“Too humble, you are. Our people love you dearly. No expense shall be spared. What little we have should be yours.”

Murmurs of agreement rippled through the assembled group, waiting for their turn to speak with their leader.

“In fact, I believe that is what our newcomers should do next,” Eldest of All said, turning his massive head to regard Ann and the rest. “They want to learn about our ways, so let them go with Alruna and Tarnu on a supply trip.”

“Do we have the coin?” one of the people asked, a person segmented into many torsos connected by an exposed spine. “Weren’t we running low?”

“Shouldn’t be much o’ a problem. I pinched a good bit on me way out,” Kat said. “From me parents. They won’t mind,” she quickly added as expressions soured towards her.

“I have potions to trade as well,” Alruna said in her raspy voice, calmly striding from the crowd. “Many new ones, thanks to Rosalyn. It has been a busy night.”

“You have rested enough, Daughter of Worms? Your loss would be most unfortunate.”

“Plenty and more, Eldest of All. I would say otherwise were it the case. Now, I will need a list of supplies we need. I am sure it has changed since our encounter with Annita and her friends.”

The multi-segmented person stepped forward, pulling a long scroll of paper from the bag on one of their torsos. “Got it all here, Alruna. Took the poll yesterday. Though you might be needing it soon, seeing as there was an interruption.”

“Very good, Spine. Fastidious as always,” Alruna bowed slightly with a smile.

“When you’ve got as many hands as I do, got plenty to go around.” Spine laughed, and instead of just one sound, a chorus of them joined his head’s laughter. Each neck bulged slightly as the noise and air escaped with each breath, lungs working and torsos shaking.

“That’s feckin’ freaky,” Kat whispered to Ann.

“How do you work!?” Rosalyn cried, breaking ranks and rushing over to a startled Spine. “You’re called spine because of the one spine going through you, but you have so many bodies I can’t imagine you control all of them consciously, and that you breathe through all of them suggests separate respiratory systems, which means separate cardiovascular systems, but that would require food for each body to supply the blood, but that doesn’t seem like you can eat from those bodies unless their mouths are hidden, so yeah, how?”

“It is fine, Spine. She is simply curious,” Alruna assured the bewildered person. And they were a person. Their head and main torso were male, but as Ann took a closer look, the torsos were of both, and no gender randomly arranged.

“Um, I just do? Rosalyn, right? I’m not really sure myself. I know I breathe through all of them, and I can’t really control that, or their hearts, but it all follows what I want to do without really thinking about it. I want to pat your head with three bodies down, and it just happens.”

To demonstrate, an agender torso reached out and patted Rosalyn’s horn. It twitched suddenly, and Spine pulled himself back. “Sorry, that aggression is still in me. Like all of us. Best to keep our distances, but if you wanted to try a better look when you get back, I’d love to hear what you think. We don’t have much in the way of a doctor, you see.”

“Don’t need one when we all regenerate,” Tarnu grumbled. The bear-man’s fur had shrunk back into his body, leaving him still bestial, but no more than a Vulhardrin with mandibles. “Only blessing this curse came with. We’re hard to kill.”

People nodded around them.

“Well, you’d still die to decapitation, so that’s a no-no, and I imagine taking out your heart would be a near-death sentence…. Unless… oh my Eas! Spine! Have any of your hearts stopped before? What happened? Did the rest act as backup until it regenerated or fixed itself?”

“No!” Spine replied, looking horrified. “Nothing like that! I don’t want my hearts to stop!”

“Oh, well, obviously, but it’d be cool to know if that’s how it worked. Then we could get a better idea of how your bodies are connected besides examining nerve columns, which takes breaking into your spine, which isn’t a good idea at all, so we won’t be doing that, so I guess I get to limit myself to exterior examination. No vivisection. Xirali, no! Sorry, Warped in my noggin has some weird ideas sometimes. Still teaching her how to be mostly normal.”

Spine gave Rosalyn the nod of someone who would rather be anywhere else right now. “Uh huh. Alruna, you mind being there if we meet up later? Or Tarnu, or Eyes?”

“Oh, I can join,” Eyes warbled.

Ann whipped her head around. She hadn’t seen the titanic woman in the crowd, and she rose from apparently lying down to tower over everyone but Eldest of All.

“Oh, hi eyes! Didn’t see you there!” Rosalyn waved up to the large deer fish woman, completely unperturbed.

“So, spices, wood, food we cannot hunt, new pitchforks for the stables, a new cauldron for the Cook, new sewing needles for Fur. Goll needs a new chisel because the last one broke, again.” Alruna’s strange vertical eyes glared at a woman who shuffled a cornucopia of feet bashfully, part of her seemed to now be made of grass, too. A strange one. “We can make bowls, we are skipping those, same with the arrows.”

“Hey, not like a proper place can!” someone barged forward. “We do our best, but we don’t have the right tools, Alruna. They don’t fly straight enough!”

“And must do you shoot that one of us couldn’t take down?” Alruna asked the man.

“Squirrels! Birds! Little things that get too startled by any of us getting near!” The man waved a crab claw on his left arm, but a normal hand on his right. Whatever else he was hid beneath his clothes.

“We have traps for those, no?” Alruna retorted. She looked annoyed. Seemed to Ann like this guy always had requests like this.

“We leave our scent on them! Takes weeks for that to wear off. No, I need those arrows!”

“Fine, we will add them to the list. Anyone else with a… special request?”

A smattering of people came forward. Most of them were asking for clothes, or little pieces of houseware that couldn’t be easily made. Alruna took them all down, adding to the already pretty long scroll.

Once the conversation died down and no one was coming forward, Alruna rolled up the paper, wrapped it in a leather sheath, then wrapped it up in worms. When that was done, the worms and the list were gone.

“Oh, that’s really neat!” Rosalyn gasped.

“Useful.” Lucia gave an approving nod.

Ann knew how it felt when things moved inside her. The thought of having a scroll case just in her guts was not a great feeling, even if it was really useful.

“I think that would feel awful,” Bren grimaced, echoing Ann’s thoughts.

“Alright, we return with the materials. For this, Goll, is the sledge repaired?” Alruna asked the leggy woman.

“Oh, yeah! Got done with it last week, but you didn’t seem to need it for last time, so I didn’t bring it up.”

“Goll, it’s useful to have regardless. It frees up hands and lets some take a much-needed rest. Must I remind you every time not to withhold your progress?”

“Sorry! I know! I just… I can’t help it. I forget it until someone talks about it.”

Alruna sighed, pinching the bridge of her nose. “I know. What you say is true. It vexes me still. I apologise for the outburst.”

“It’s fine, Alruna. I’ll go do… something.” Goll hung her head and shuffled away.

Alruna gave Eyes a pleading look, and the deer head gave her a quick nod before picking her way over to where Goll had gone.

“Alright, is there aught you five need before we depart?” Alruna asked, turning to the friends.

“How long a trip is it?” Kat asked.

“Two days there. We can take shelter in town and do our business. Once complete, we will return here with the requests.”

“We are low on food. Rations for the road would be necessary. Thank you, Lucia,” Bren nodded to his… was she a girlfriend now? Ann would have to ask about that later. She wasn’t sure what Thrundol dating looked like, much less one bound to the other.

Still, the woman hadn’t spoken a word, giving everyone else pause.

“What?” Bren asked, looking around at the unexpected attention.

“She didn’t say anythin’.”

“Of course she… oh blast it all, that was in my head.”

“Aye. Ye uh, the feck?”

Bren heaved an annoyed sigh. “Our Bond may have deepened recently, and I am able to hear directed thoughts, and she, mine. I may also be able to… use that. Another complication that I must contend with. Not only must I guard my words, but my thoughts. More important things. Done.”

Kat gave Ann a confused look, to which she could only give a shrug. They’d grill the couple on the way to town.

“Tarnu, there should be bags with supplies ready for us by the stables. Fetch them, and we will be off.”

With that, the crowd returned their attention to Eldest of All, who’d watched the whole exchange with a look of quiet amusement. “Long has it been since I was administrator of such goings on. You and Tarnu have grown into the role quite well, Daughter of Worms.”

“Such pleasantries are unneeded, but appreciated,” Alruna bowed. “I simply seek to return the kindness you have shown us all.”

The crowd of people of all shapes, sizes, and impossible anatomies followed her lead, bowing to the venerable dragon.

He didn’t say it, but Ann could see that the Eldest of All was basking proudly in that praise and attention. Still definitely a dragon.

“Hey, you old boulder!” Ann called. “Anything you want?” She grinned at the gasps from the crowd.

Eldest of All rolled his eyes. “You, old grey fur, may retrieve something for me, yes. It is an ore of high value used in enchantment. Bultrite, this nation calls it. A nugget as large as your head is needed.”

Ann glanced at Kat, silently asking how big a deal that was. Kat’s wide-eyed response was enough of an answer. “I don’t think I’ve got the money for that, but I can see if we can find a way, or a place to get one. So yeah, I’ll try.”

“Good. I understand this is an expensive request. Do not be ashamed if you are not able to complete it. One so old might not know the people or lands too well.”

Was… was he baiting her? The old lizard was trying to goad her into this! It was the stupid kind of bait you’d use in a game! Not just that, it was working! Ann felt the anger she’d squashed after talking things over in his house bubble again and escape her grasp. “You know what? I’ll get you two of them! Show you how an old fuck handles things when they’re not sleeping under a literal rock.”

“Hah. You are of the forests and plains. You would not know a geode from a pebble,” Eldest of All scoffed.

“Yeah, but I bet I can find someone who does!”

“Ah, so you admit your age bears no increase to your wisdom. Who was asleep for thousands of years?”

“Both of us, you crusty lizard! Just, ugh! Keep them all safe while we’re gone. I’ll get your damn rock. Just you fucking wait.”

Eldest of All grinned, metal teeth and bleeding gums on full display. “I look forward to it, little pup.”

The competitive anger dissipated as quickly as it had come. Too quickly.

You little shit!

Hardly small. Waheela chuckled.

You both baited me into this!

I didn’t say the words, but I couldn’t see my pack being looked down on like that. I just provided a nudge in the right direction.

A direction that got me into a bet with a dragon. Swear to god, Waheela.

Yes, well, if we are to oppose two deities, then what is a dragon but a test of our might?

Did you listen to what he was asking for? I don’t know fuck all about rocks!

You said you could find someone. You are, as I recall on many occasions, good with people. Especially their bodies.

I… you bitch.

Yes, Ann felt Waheela’s smug grin. Now go, your pack is moving on.

Ann shook her head, ears flopping, and found the rest talking over minor details with Alruna. Goll and Eyes returned shortly with the sledge, Eyes pulling it with a single hand. A quick round of goodbyes and a Tarnu with a bag of food later, they were dragging the wooden sledge up the stone ramp. “They” was overselling it. Alruna was hauling the thing alone and didn’t seem bothered at all.

Everyone but Ann, Rosalyn, and Tarnu braced as the doors opened, and a blast of winter wind hit them. Once their eyes adjusted, they could see it was just a windy day. No blizzards, thank the Gods.

“Let us move quickly. Do you want second shift, Tarnu?” Alruna asked.

“Yeah, suits me just fine,” the bug-bear shrugged. “Hop on, everyone.”

“First shift for what?” Ann asked as they piled in, giving the Warped man enough space that he didn’t accidentally lash out.

“Pulling!” Tarnu gave them a buggy grin as the sledge lurched.

Ahead of them, Alruna had taken the bar at the end of the leather straps in her worm-enhanced hands and started running.