Perfectly Reckless

Thirty-Six

#chapter Thirty-Six

Her decision shouldn’t have been as easy as it was, but Daniel hadn’t heard more than Ian’s name before he turned on his heel and left the kitchen without waiting for Maura to finish her sentence. She watched him go, her stomach in knots, but didn’t go after him. Not right away. Not soon enough.

That, she guessed was her answer about what she really wanted, anyway.

Still, when she heard the front door open, she forced herself to move fast enough to catch him before he could get to his car. “Daniel. Wait.”

He’d paused on her porch to put his shoes on, and he turned. “What.”

“You didn’t even let me finish.”

“Was there more?” He shoved his foot into his shoe and stood, shaking the leg of his jeans to straighten it.

Maura didn’t blame him for being upset, but at the same time, his instant assumption that she was going to dump him for Ian set her stubborn function in motion. “All you let me say was that Ian asked me for a date on my Luvfinder account.”

“I think that’s enough to know, isn’t it?”

“I didn’t say I was going to go.”

“What were you doing on there, anyway?” Daniel moved closer, his eyes bright. Cheeks flushed. “After we…shit, Maura. I thought we were…”

“I was going on it to delete my account!”

“At two in the morning?”

Maura’s shoulders straightened. Her jaw set. “I told you, I couldn’t sleep.”

“Yeah. Whatever. I’m out of here.” Daniel made a pushing away gesture. “See you around.”

“Don’t go like that.”

At least he stopped again, though this time he wouldn’t turn to look at her. “Just…forget it. Okay? I was stupid to think this would work. I’m going off to Malaysia. You’ve got Ian, and I know you’re in love with him. He’s just going to fuck with your head again, you know that, right? But I guess it doesn’t matter.”

“I didn’t say I was going to go out with him!”

Daniel shook his head. “But you want to. Don’t you?”

She didn’t have a ready answer for that. Her first response had been vindication. Ian wanted her. Ian was apologizing. Ian was, finally, the one doing the chasing. But vindication isn’t satisfaction, and despite her reservations about committing to a relationship with Daniel, she had agreed to it, and she hadn’t been willing to back out simply because Ian had finally seemed to get his shit together.

“Never mind,” Daniel said without waiting for her to answer. “Just forget it. I should’ve known better.”

“Daniel. Wait.” But once she’d asked him to wait, Maura didn’t know what she wanted him to wait for. Hesitantly, she reached for him, but he didn’t reach back. She let her hand fall back to her side. “I’m sorry. Please don’t go like this.”

“I’m not sure what you expect me to do or say, not after that little story you just told me.”

“Stay for breakfast, anyway. I can make eggs and toast…”

Bitter laughter barked out of him. “Oh, sure. Break it off with me, then make me breakfast. Real classy, Maura. Thanks. But no, I think I’ll pass.”

“I didn’t break it off with you! If you’d just listen —”

Daniel waved a dismissive hand in response.

“You know what?” She snapped, crossing her arms, “Go, then. I could’ve told you nothing, but I wanted to be up front with you. He contacted me. Would you rather have had me say nothing?”

“I’d rather have you just turn him down!”

Maura rubbed the tip of her tongue along the back of her teeth as each word of her response seemed to form itself letter by single letter.

“You can’t say you don’t want to see him.”

“No,” she said. “I guess I can’t say that and be telling the truth. But that doesn’t mean I was going to dump you. Especially not after…”

At the look on his face, she stopped herself from saying more. Daniel drew himself up as carefully as a man who’d been kicked in the junk. In a way, maybe he felt like he had. He took the first step off the porch, then looked back at her.

“Good luck. He’s going to fuck you over again, because that’s why guys like him do. And you’re going to let him, because that’s what women like you do. Can’t see what you have right in front of your face. Fuck you, I’m over it.”

Maura recoiled at his vehemence. “Wow. You know what? If that’s how you’re going to be about it, yes. Go. I’m over it, too.”

Daniel stayed put, glaring at her. Maura glared back. She didn’t blame him for being irritated or uncertain — but his attitude? That could get fucked with something hard and sandpapery.

“You couldn’t even give me the rest of the week?” He bit out the question. “I’m going out of the country, for God’s sakes. You couldn’t just fucking give me a week?”

“And then what, we could’ve started some kind of fucked up, long-distance relationship?”

“Maybe…we could’ve…” Daniel glared at her. “You could’ve broken it off a helluva lot better than this, anyway.”

She goggled, mouth open wide before she shut it with a click of her teeth. “I was trying to be honest with you! I guess maybe I should’ve lied to you. That would’ve been better?”

“Then I could’ve hated you,” Daniel said, “instead of just thinking you’re stupid.”

She blinked. Then again. Then carefully, slowly and deliberately, she backed over her threshold, maintaining eye contact the whole time. Then she firmly shut the door without saying another word to him.