novelraw Chapter 42
Chapter 42
"You said you wouldn't act rashly... wouldn't touch me carelessly..." Song Xici's entire back was both stiff and burning hot.
"Yes, I did say that," Tang You'an rested her head on Song Xici's shoulder. "But I also said I'd listen to you carefully. So if you want something, naturally I..."
"That's not what I meant!" Finally, Song Xici leaned forward a bit, turned her head, and continued to refute with a trembling voice, "I don't want you to... do that..."
"Then what did you mean?" Tang You'an asked.
"Let go of me first..." Song Xici tried to pry Tang You'an's hands from her waist.
Although Tang You'an didn't want to let go, since Song Xici had spoken, she reluctantly released her grip.
But once she was actually let go, Song Xici felt uncomfortable somehow.
It was like being faced with a table full of delicious food, wanting to devour it all at once, but before even picking up the chopsticks to take a bite, leaving due to a diet plan.
"Alright, I've let go. Now tell me." After releasing her, Tang You'an's gaze remained firmly locked on her.
"The reason I said that at noon was because... I was playing truth or dare with some people, and I accidentally lost, so I chose dare! Then they egged me on to send you that message... Yes, that's what happened." Song Xici suddenly felt like a genius for coming up with such a clever excuse.
"Is that so?" Tang You'an looked at her.
"Of course it is, what else could it be?! How could I possibly want you to..." Song Xici turned to face her, squeezing her hands. "Anyway, that's what happened. It's just like last time when everyone pressured us to French kiss, so we had no choice but to... It's the same kind of thing. I sent that message under duress. Do you understand now?!"
After listening, Tang You'an just stared directly at her face.
After being looked at for a while, Song Xici turned her head away again.
"By the way, how do you even know what those random characters mean?!" Song Xici then switched to interrogation mode.
Tang You'an replied, "I've been here too long. Even if I didn't want to understand many things, it's impossible not to. You can always see fans on Weibo begging to be 'cao' by their idols. Isn't that right?"
Song Xici couldn't respond to this, she just kept fidgeting with her fingers. "I don't want to talk to you anymore. Let's sleep. If we can't get up early these days, your dad will scold us. He hates seeing people waste time. Your original self often argued with him about this kind of thing."
Hearing this, Tang You'an nodded and lay back down on the bed.
Then, Song Xici quickly ran to the side, grabbed another quilt, threw it on the bed, took off her shoes, got into bed, and covered herself completely.
Tang You'an turned her head to look at Song Xici lying next to her under a separate quilt, placed one hand behind her head as a pillow, and gently closed her eyes.
So it was just like that? Tang You'an suddenly felt a sense of disappointment. It felt like meat that was about to enter her mouth had flown away.
"Xici." As she lay there, Tang You'an called out her name with her eyes closed.
"Mm?" Song Xici pulled down the quilt a little.
"Tell me, what exactly is love?" Tang You'an finally asked her this question again.
Song Xici paused for a moment after hearing this, clenched her fists, feeling her palms grow sweaty. "Are you really that curious?"
"Yes," Tang You'an replied.
"I suppose it's something that's quite interesting at first, but easily disappears later on," Song Xici finally said.
"But it's not just love that's easily lost, is it? Friendship is easily lost too. After all, as long as we're alive, we have to deal with all sorts of things. Feelings between people are always very fragile, but as long as both sides maintain them well, consciously maintain them, it shouldn't be too bad, right? Besides, there are indeed many accidents. Perhaps the person you were chatting happily with yesterday meets with misfortune today and never appears in your world again," Tang You'an stared at the ceiling. "Isn't that a kind of disappearance too? But does that mean people should reject everything because of these possibilities?"
Tang You'an turned her head slightly, but didn't receive an answer from Song Xici.
Then, Tang You'an slowly continued, "It's like life itself. From the moment we're born crying, we're destined to face the day of our death. Does that mean we shouldn't live because that day will come..."
Song Xici listened, gripping the corner of the quilt, saying nothing. She really didn't dare to think about those things.
"If you always think about the worst possibilities for some things, you'll definitely miss out on the wonderful parts of the process," Tang You'an said again. "In the end, you won't have enjoyed anything, which is even more depressing. It's better not to think too much from the beginning and just go with the flow."
"Anyway, I... can't. By the way, why are you asking about love?" At this point, Song Xici suddenly pulled down the quilt a bit, turned to look at Tang You'an lying there, and asked with feigned curiosity, "Could it be that you've fallen in love with someone?! There's something fishy! Haha, come on, tell me, who have you fallen in love with?!"
Hearing Song Xici's voice, Tang You'an remained silent for a while.
"What, you haven't?" Song Xici continued to ask.
"Is love just a collision of hormones plus constantly thinking about her, wanting to give her everything, and at the same time wanting to get many things from her?" After a long time, Tang You'an stared at the ceiling and asked.
Song Xici thought for a moment, then nodded. "Maybe it is."
"In that case, I have indeed fallen in love with her," Tang You'an frowned slightly, her hand clenching a bit. "There is indeed such a person who makes me want to have her body, have everything about her, and at the same time, I want to give her everything I have. And usually, I think about her all the time."
Hearing this, Song Xici's chest suddenly skipped a beat.
The person Tang You'an was talking about couldn't be herself, could it?
"What are you... saying? That person is..." Song Xici felt her heart was about to jump out of her chest as she spoke.
"I think she should know that I've fallen in love with her, right? I don't think my attitude has been that unclear, I..." Tang You'an looked back at the ceiling.
But at this moment, Song Xici suddenly interrupted her: "Wow, not bad, you've grown up! I'm really happy for you! Who do you like? A man or a woman? A co-star from the drama? Or one of Xiaobao's group? Quick, quick, tell me!"
Hearing these words, Tang You'an's hand clenched tighter, her brow furrowed, and she turned her head to the side.
Song Xici seemed very happy to see her liking someone else. Judging by her reaction, she was practically ready to jump out of bed and applaud vigorously.
But seeing Song Xici so happy, Tang You'an couldn't feel pleased at all. On the contrary, she felt really upset. There was a tightness in her chest, as if something was constricting it. Apart from discomfort, there was only more discomfort.
"Let me ask you something." Suppressing her unpleasant mood, Tang You'an closed her eyes and spoke.
"Oh, go ahead." Song Xici responded.
"Are you really that happy to know who I've fallen in love with?" Tang You'an asked in a cold tone, staring at the edge of the bed.
"Well... of course I'm happy! It's rare, you've finally opened your eyes! Is it a man or a woman?! Quick, I want to see a photo! Let me tell you, if you like someone, go for it! If you don't know how to pursue them, I can give you some tips!" Song Xici continued to act overly curious.
Hearing this, Tang You'an remained silent for a long time, then gave her a slight smile before turning over to lie on her side. She said slowly, "There's no need for you to worry about it. Good night."
"Oh, good night..." Song Xici stared at the back of her head, confused for a while, then lay flat looking at the ceiling.
The person Tang You'an was talking about, who exactly was it...
That night, Tang You'an didn't make any strange moves, and the room was very warm. It should have been conducive to a good night's sleep, but Song Xici slept very uneasily, half awake and half asleep, feeling a bit uncomfortable.
In the latter half of the night, she had a dream. A dream that seemed to depict her entire future life.
She dreamed she was sleeping on the sofa, her head in Tang You'an's arms, watching some TV series.
As the night deepened, they began to kiss passionately, undressing each other, holding each other's bodies tightly.
Tang You'an kissed her forehead, telling her: "I'm not going anywhere."
In the blink of an eye, seasons passed, plants flourished and withered, and she and Tang You'an went to many places, did many things.
But one day, when she returned home, she found Tang You'an was gone. She searched high and low, called everyone, and even reported to the police. In the end, the police and everyone around told her that no such person existed, that this person was just a figment of her imagination.
At this point in the dream, Song Xici suddenly woke up.
Upon waking, she realized something had slid down from the corner of her eye. Song Xici reached up to wipe it away, only to find it was tears.
She looked back at Tang You'an, then turned her head again, pulling the quilt up to her nose. She frowned, pressing her lips together tightly, not knowing what to do, her body trembling slightly.
On the other side, Tang You'an also had a dream.
She dreamed she was standing in an all-white place, saying "I love you" to Song Xici. Then Song Xici slowly raised her hands to cover her ears, shaking her head, and turned to leave.
In a panic, she quickly reached out, wanting to grab Song Xici.
But the moment her hand touched the hem of Song Xici's clothes, Song Xici, from the hem of her clothes to her body and face, instantly turned into a pile of white powder.
And she stood alone in the center of that vast white world, feeling a sense of despair covering her heart like falling snow.
When the dream ended, Tang You'an opened her eyes to find the room already brightly lit by sunlight. She picked up her phone to check the time—it was 7:30 AM—and the bed beside her was empty.
In that instant, a strong sense of panic swept through her entire body. Tang You'an got out of bed and quickly opened the closet door, then the bathroom door, and finally opened the bedroom door and walked out, standing by the railing to look down.
Only when she saw Song Xici carrying a plate of fruit from the kitchen and sitting down on the sofa with Pei Qiuyue did she slowly let out a breath.
However, thinking of Song Xici's reaction last night and the dream she just had, she felt her headache was even worse today than yesterday.
After breakfast, since Tang Bingguo had business to attend to at his company, he left to handle it. This left only Pei Qiuyue, Tang You'an, and Song Xici to go shopping together.
Throughout this time, Tang You'an became somewhat quiet. Unless necessary, she rarely spoke to Song Xici. She would only occasionally take out her phone to message someone.
Sometimes when Song Xici saw something interesting, she would tug on Tang You'an's clothes and point it out. Tang You'an would look where she pointed, but only nod, her attitude neither warm nor cold.
She wasn't deliberately giving anyone the cold shoulder; she just really couldn't get excited. Smiling occasionally was already her utmost politeness.
Midway through, Pei Qiuyue bought quite a few things, then they all sat down in a dessert shop.
Tang You'an ordered a coffee and went to the restroom. So only Song Xici and Pei Qiuyue were left in the dessert shop.
"The desserts here are quite nice, sweet but not cloying," Pei Qiuyue scooped up a bit of cake with her spoon and looked at Song Xici. "Are you sure you don't want to order something to eat?"
"You go ahead and eat. I'll pass," Song Xici waved her hand, smiling.
"Are you in a bad mood?" Pei Qiuyue asked.
"No," Song Xici paused, guessing she might look a bit downcast, which wasn't appropriate in front of elders. So she quickly shook her head and scanned the QR code at the corner of the table with her phone. "Let me see if there's anything good to eat..."
But just as Song Xici ordered a milk tea, Tang You'an's phone in her bag on the chair started vibrating.
Song Xici froze, her attention drawn to it.
"Xici, help her answer it," Pei Qiuyue said from the side.
"Oh." Since Pei Qiuyue had spoken, Song Xici had no choice but to open Tang You'an's bag and take out the phone.
However, the moment she saw the screen, Song Xici was stunned. It displayed the name "Meimei."
A nickname without a surname—it seemed quite intimate.
Finally, Song Xici answered the phone.
"Little Tang Tang~ Are you still out?" Before Song Xici could speak, a sticky sweet voice completely at odds with her appearance came through from the other end.
"I..."
"I just made a bunch of cookies, chestnut flavored, and I also made a lot of that lemon-flavored chicken feet you like. When are you coming back? I'll give them all to you then."
"Mom, I'm going over there for a bit." Hearing this, Song Xici covered the mouthpiece and said to Pei Qiuyue, then stood up and walked out of the shop, leaning against a railing.
"Hello hello, Tang bao? You sound strange today..." At this moment, Xiao Meimei continued to ask on the other end of the phone.
Hearing this, Song Xici had already imagined what the two of them might be like when alone together. With Xiao Meimei being so good at acting coquettish, she probably clings to Tang You'an's arm and does this and that.
"Miss, I'm sorry to interrupt, but you haven't given me a chance to speak. Also, I'm not Tang You'an," Song Xici looked at the decorations hanging and rotating in the center of the mall. "I'm the wife of your 'Little Tang Tang', Song Xici. Do you have any other message you'd like me to pass on to her?"
"No..."
So without waiting for her to say anything more, Song Xici took the phone away from her ear and hung up without another word.
It seems she had overthought things last night. Tang You'an wasn't in love with her at all; she was in love with Xiao Meimei.
And... in fact, she really wasn't flirting with her before, but genuinely seeking guidance, right?
Then, just now when Tang You'an was constantly lowering her head to send messages, she must have been messaging Xiao Meimei.
Strangely, she should be happy about this. Doesn't this mean they haven't deviated from their path and can continue to be friends?
But Song Xici found that she couldn't be happy at all.
She stood there for a long while before returning to the dessert shop. Tang You'an was already sitting inside.
"You're back?" Pei Qiuyue looked up and asked when she saw her walk up to the table.
"Mm." Song Xici ran a hand through her hair, nodded, and handed the phone to Tang You'an.
"What's wrong?" Tang You'an looked at the darkened phone screen and turned her head towards her.
"Nothing..." Song Xici shook her head after hearing this. "Just a friend calling to say they wanted to send us some things."
"Then why do you look so awful?" Pei Qiuyue asked again.
"Ah, no, I was just thinking about an upcoming audition for a famous director's film. It's quite important, and I'm afraid I won't be selected," Song Xici said with a smile.
"Don't be afraid, just do your best," Pei Qiuyue heard this and reached out to cover Song Xici's hand encouragingly.
Song Xici could only nod in response.
Tang You'an glanced at her, then opened her phone and checked WeChat.
She saw that Xiao Meimei had just sent her several messages, mostly talking about food. Xiao Meimei was also a good cook and had made many things for her, then vacuum-sealed them.
In the drama "The Courtier," Tang You'an had the most scenes with Xiao Meimei, so undoubtedly, their relationship was the closest. For Tang You'an, Xiao Meimei was probably the first friend she made since coming here, apart from Song Xici.
Plus, they both loved to cook, so they had many topics to chat about and were naturally quite close.
Tang You'an thought for a moment and replied: "Thank you, you've worked hard."
Xiao Meimei quickly sent back a covering-mouth-laugh emoji: "Say, aren't I the best bestie ever?! I remember everything you like to eat so clearly, haha, praise me, praise me!"
Tang You'an saw this and pinched the bridge of her nose: "Praising you."
Xiao Meimei: "Eh... that's not sincere at all. Are you in a bad mood today? Forget it, I won't bother you anymore. Go have fun!"
Song Xici watched Tang You'an from the side, put down her milk tea after taking a sip, and then lost all interest in drinking.
"Do you two want to sit for a while longer? If not, why don't you accompany me to buy a few more things?" At this moment, Pei Qiuyue put away her phone and spoke up.
"Sure, let's go then," Song Xici forced a smile.
Tang You'an still had no expression. She just slung her bag over her shoulder, grabbed her phone, and stood up straight.
This day, which should have been relaxing, somehow felt more tiring and slower to Tang You'an than when she was filming.
In the evening, she showered early and went to bed.
When Song Xici came out after washing up, Tang You'an seemed to be already asleep, so she didn't disturb her. However, while doing her skincare routine, she was annoyed by Tang You'an's phone screen lighting up from time to time, so she simply reached out and flipped it face down on the table.
But after flipping it, she couldn't resist picking it up again to look.
There seemed to be many messages. The latest one was from Xiao Meimei: "There's a musical on the 3rd of next month, want to go together?"
After reading this, Song Xici put Tang You'an's phone face down again, then frowned and slammed the lotion bottle on the table.
"What are you doing?" The sound was a bit loud, causing Tang You'an, who had been sleeping in a daze, to rub her head and ask.
"Nothing, just continue sleeping," Song Xici said coldly, then scooped up some night cream and dabbed it on her face.
So Tang You'an's side went quiet again.
After a good while, Song Xici finally lay down on the bed.
However, she still didn't sleep well tonight.
The first half of the night, her mind was in chaos and she couldn't fall asleep; in the second half, she suddenly dreamed that Tang You'an turned over, lifted the quilt, and pressed down on top of her. She even took off Song Xici's pajamas, her palm caressing Song Xici's skin, moving downwards...
And her body felt like it was on fire, burning hot...
Then, in the dream, Tang You'an kissed her lips. But as they were kissing, Tang You'an called out Xiao Meimei's name.
At this point, Song Xici suddenly woke up with a start.
She sat up, raised her hand to her forehead, and after a while, turned her head to look at the sleeping Tang You'an beside her.
Then she lay back down.
She picked up her phone and saw it was only 5:30 AM. Unable to sleep, Song Xici opened WeChat and, for some reason, tapped on Tang You'an's profile picture, entering her Moments photo album.
The latest post was from two afternoons ago.
The text read: "My scenes finished filming today. Thank you to everyone who has been so good to me during this time! Thanks to Director Chen Feng for his patient guidance, to Teacher Zhao Zixi for his pointers, to Meimei for her guidance and all the food she's given me. Without you all, I wouldn't have improved. Thank you, 'The Courtier' crew!"
The accompanying photos included a group shot with various crew members, and she had specifically posted a separate photo of herself with Xiao Meimei surrounded by snacks.
……
Feeding...
Suddenly, she felt that the person Tang You'an had fallen in love with might just be Xiao Meimei. Come to think of it, Xiao Meimei was also single.
Frowning, Song Xici then went to Weibo.
Entering Tang You'an's Weibo, Song Xici saw that Tang You'an had reposted one of Xiao Meimei's Weibo posts two days ago.
The content was: "Today in this scene, our Wuli Moyan left [crying loudly]!!!"
And Tang You'an's repost comment was: "Don't be sad, General Zhang. We'll definitely have a chance to work together again in the future."
Then there was even a top comment below: "Ah, if only You'an wasn't already married, I'd ship this crack pairing..."
Song Xici saw the popular comment and twisted her mouth: "So, she's already married, why are you still forcing random pairings?!"
After saying this, Song Xici quickly covered her mouth and glanced at Tang You'an lying beside her.
After making sure she was still asleep, Song Xici continued browsing Weibo.
Then, Song Xici discovered that Tang You'an had recently liked another of Xiao Meimei's food-related Weibo posts.
The content was: "@ActressTangYou'anMoyan, look, this is the chestnut cake you love so much. Your general got to eat it today, haha!"
Damn it. Could it be that she really fell in love with her co-star Xiao Meimei? These two, if you didn't know better, you might think they were just promoting the drama, since they were addressing each other by their character names, but in reality...
Combining what Tang You'an said last night with Xiao Meimei's phone call today, Song Xici refused to believe their relationship was that simple!
Frowning, Song Xici clicked into Xiao Meimei's photo album and looked through all her pictures. She hadn't paid much attention to Xiao Meimei before and had never been in the same frame with her.
Xiao Meimei's facial features didn't match her name at all. Her name sounded extremely soft, like a naive sweet girl. But her features looked rather masculine, much more rugged than Tang You'an's.
Moreover, looking at their photos together, Xiao Meimei was even taller than Tang You'an.
If she remembered correctly, Tang You'an's official height was 178 cm, so this sister must be 180 cm or above! Unbelievable. When the two stood together, especially when Xiao Meimei put her hand on Tang You'an's shoulder, Tang You'an actually looked a bit petite and delicate in comparison.
Then, Xiao Meimei's everyday outfits were mostly trendy brands. Oversized jackets, leather jackets and pants, Martin boots—in short: she looked very dominant.
It was hard to tell, but it turned out Tang You'an liked this type?!
Song Xici frowned as she touched her lips, lifted the quilt to look at her own short legs, then covered herself again. She opened the camera, pinched her soft cheeks, rubbed her round eyes, and finally put down her phone and rolled her eyes.
Afterward, Song Xici opened a media video of a set visit interview for "The Courtier."
Reporter: "Meimei, what do you want to say about Tang You'an, who plays opposite you?"
Xiao Meimei: "Actually, at first I had some prejudice against her. But later I found out that she's really quite interesting, and very polite. When it comes to filming, if she doesn't understand something, she asks, never wasting anyone's time. And she's quite caring towards others."
Reporter: "Caring?"
Xiao Meimei: "Yes, like when someone's not happy, she'll check on them. If someone's not feeling well, she'll also check on them. Sometimes when I'm in a bad mood, she'll sit down and tell me jokes..."
She didn't want to watch any more. So Song Xici simply closed the video.
But her mood really couldn't improve no matter what.
After a short stay of two or three days at the Tang family home, the two returned to Rongcheng.
As soon as they got home, Tang You'an's phone received a message.
So Tang You'an let go of her suitcase, changed her shoes, and held the phone to her lips: "I've arrived. We're meeting at the Jinyu Hotel later, right?"
Beside her, Song Xici heard this, threw her bag to the side, then walked to the water dispenser and poured some water.
"Then wait a moment, I'll get ready."
"No... We just got home, and it might be a bit congested if we rush over now. If you leave a bit later, you won't have to wait too long."
"Okay, then let's meet at 6:30."
...
After Tang You'an put her phone in her pocket, Song Xici frowned, then smiled and turned around to say, "Oh, your little lover?"
Tang You'an looked at the floor for a while after hearing this, then looked up at her: "So what if it is? So what if it's not?"
"Ha..." Song Xici spread her hands. "I didn't say anything would happen. Can't I ask? What, is it really true?"
Tang You'an looked at her for a long time, and finally turned her head to the side: "That's none of your business."
"I'm not meddling. How am I meddling? I'm just showing concern as a friend," Song Xici said, folding her arms and leaning against the fish tank.
"Oh," Tang You'an said as she turned to leave. "I might be back a bit late tonight. Remember to eat dinner. If you really don't want to cook, I can make something when I get back or bring food for you. Call me if you need anything."
After saying this, Tang You'an walked out completely.
Song Xici stood there, watching her figure disappear at the doorway, then suddenly punched the door: "If you already have someone you like, don't casually flirt with others!"