novelraw Chapter 20 : Desire
Chapter 20 : Desire
Chapter 20: Desire
But people… inevitably change.
At this thought, Apollo unconsciously recalled—
En’s final words.
“People will change!”
“Father, sooner or later, your other children—even you—will change!”
“In this world, aside from the eternally unchanging gods, nothing remains the same!”
Yes.
Only the gods were eternal and unchanging.
And they were merely human…
humans with desires.
In the past, the tribespeople were trapped by hunger, so filling their stomachs was their only wish.
But when farming and animal husbandry brought stable food…
when the tribe developed into a dynasty…
when the population expanded and cities were established…
desire began to grow along with it.
Like wild grass, impossible to burn away completely.
Power, status, wealth, immortality…
more and more things were pursued by people, bringing with them ever more conflict and suffering.
“Apollo, desire is the root of human suffering, because it can never be satisfied.”
The god’s calm and profound words
traveled across decades and once again echoed clearly in his mind.
Apollo smiled.
His smile was filled with exhaustion and relief.
Yet a tear slipped uncontrollably from the corner of his eye, rolling down his wrinkled cheek.
So…
the god had already seen all of this long ago.
Had seen that the flame of civilization he ignited with his own hands would inevitably bring tangled desires and endless suffering.
He recalled his own answer back then.
“God! No matter what the final outcome may be, Apollo can accept it.”
Yes, he could accept it.
Accept the changes of the era, accept the ambitions of his children, accept his own aging, and accept…
the future filled with desire and conflict that he himself had set in motion.
Wa and Ze did not linger long.
They keenly sensed the complex emotions hidden beneath their father’s calmness.
After respectfully bowing, they withdrew and returned to their former residence in the royal city.
Silently waiting…
waiting for the fall of the Sun King, and…
the ascension of the new king!
……
Apollo dismissed all attendants.
Leaning on the wooden staff that had accompanied him his entire life,
step by step, slowly yet firmly, he ascended the altar and entered the grand temple he had built with his own hands.
The temple was vast and silent.
Only the statue of the god, under the starlight and moonlight filtering through the cracks in the roof, emitted an eternal and indifferent glow.
He walked before the statue and knelt down.
He did not know why he had come here.
Was it to bid a final farewell to the god who had given him everything?
Or deep in his heart, did he still harbor a faint hope—hoping for guidance from the god, or…
simply yearning to feel that gaze once more?
He opened his mouth, but in the end said nothing.
What could he say to a god?
Gratitude? Repentance?
Or recount the magnificent sixty years and its final helplessness?
But none of it seemed meaningful anymore.
He simply knelt in silence for a long time, like a weathering statue.
In the end, he took one deep look at the seemingly eternal statue, then silently turned around and, step by step, left the temple, merging into the night outside.
After he left—
within the empty temple, upon the statue—
strands of brilliant starlight gathered, forming a vague and transcendent figure.
It watched Apollo’s lonely figure disappear into the darkness beyond the temple gates, and within its heart arose a faint sorrow, almost human in nature.
This “dream,” it had experienced for sixty years.
Perhaps this was not merely a dream.
That tangible reality, the evolution of civilization, the vivid emotions… all indicated that this was a real world.
But no matter what, to it, this still felt more like a long and immersive dream.
It… should awaken.
The starlight began to flicker, gradually dimming, until it completely dissipated, as if it had never appeared.
The god had departed.
……
Apollo, who was walking along the stone steps of the altar,
suddenly halted!
An indescribable sense of emptiness instantly swept through his soul.
As if realizing something, he abruptly turned and ran back into the empty temple!
Facing the silent statue, he let out a cry filled with despair, longing, and a final farewell.
“God!”
However, within the temple,
only the echo of his voice reverberated.
That gentle voice no longer sounded within the depths of his soul.
Apollo froze in place.
He understood.
The god had already returned to that vast sea of stars.
And he, Apollo—“the one chosen by the gods”—
had exhausted the last of his lifespan and fate, and could no longer wait…
for the next descent of the god, whenever it might be.
He looked at the statue.
At last, a sigh as light as dust, yet carrying his entire life’s faith and complexity, escaped his lips.
“God…”
……
Huang Xing awakened.
Though only a single night had passed, it felt to him as if an entire lifetime had gone by.
Everything around him felt both familiar and unfamiliar.
He could hardly distinguish whether he was Huang Xing, or the ruler of the stars.
Huang Xing looked at his right hand.
At once, a strand of starlight flickered within his palm.
He smiled.
The dream was not a dream—it was real.
He looked at the rented room he lived in and wondered…
was this place also real?
He recalled a line from a comic he had once read, which perfectly matched his current thoughts.
A human lives a hundred years as one lifetime.
A dragon lives a hundred years as one year.
But for it—
a hundred years was merely… an instant.
If next time, a single dream spanned a thousand years,
when he awoke, would he still remember everything of this present world?
Huang Xing knew that he needed to make a choice.
……
The departure of the god caused Apollo to lose the last of his vitality.
He no longer handled state affairs, no longer instructed the tribespeople, and rarely even left his residence.
He had completely aged.
Not in appearance, but in soul.
He began to immerse himself in memories of the past.
In those memories, he was still that seemingly omnipotent Apollo—
able to free his people from hunger,
able to heal all injuries,
able to lead the tribe from ignorance to glory…
Apollo.
He thought of his wife.
That gentle yet resolute woman.
Finally, he thought of… En.
His eldest son.
Looking back on his long life,
he knew that he had been a qualified leader, but by no means a good father.
He had devoted his entire life to the tribe, yet neglected his children.
The end…
had ultimately arrived, unavoidable.
Apollo seemed to sense something.
He summoned the three children who remained in the royal city.
Wa, Ya, Ze…
He looked at them.
Looked at their youthful appearances granted by divine favor.
On their faces at this moment were written heavy solemnity…
and a desire for power.
With a trace of irreparable regret, Apollo softly asked:
“Lei…”
“has not returned?”