My Alleged Husband

Chapter 667 - 639 Inextricable Ties_2

"Grandpa, I know what you mean by saying these things, but deep inside, I really can’t accept it. Why did my parents not want to stay by my side all these years? As a child, how could my heart possibly be happy? Time and again they treated me this way, am I not supposed to feel sadness in my heart? I once thought that if my parents came back to me, I could give up all my resentment and truly forgive them, but now I cannot do it. I really can’t understand why my parents abandoned me time and again for what sort of reasons, for what excuses? In their eyes, what am I worth? Am I just a jester to be dismissed so easily, over and over again? Am I really worth less than nothing? All I want is love from those who are supposed to love us. Why are they so unwilling to give me the life I desire? Why do they always have to be against me? Is opposing me the joy of their lives? If that’s the case, then I truly don’t know how to describe these matters for the rest of my life. I know you’ve preached a lot of grand principles to me over the years, I know they all make sense, and I know it shouldn’t all be my parents’ fault."

But some things are not within my control, are they? Some things have happened and the consequences have ensued, what’s embarrassing is embarrassing. I can’t just easily forgive this matter; I’m no Saint. I also only wish for my parents to stay steadily by my side, but there’s not a single person willing to stay and take care of me, to keep me company. This leaves me, a descendant, wondering: when have you ever cared about the pain in my heart? In your lifetime, have you ever been concerned with anything beyond your own interests, your own desires, without ever caring about how much others may be hurting? I’ve endured so much already, I truly don’t know how much more I can bear. I’ve given so much, faced too many hardships, endured the devilish trainings, put up with years of mockery and ridicule. I’ve become numb, insensible. Now, I don’t know what words from my parents could possibly hurt me anymore. I only know how tormenting and painful the issues I’ve let go of once were for me. I only know that the hurt my parents have caused me is something I will never be able to forget in this lifetime. I am not a Saint, I can’t rewrite the script, and I can’t pretend anymore that nothing ever happened. Yet, I know that if I make the right decision, I could live a happy life forever, but if I make the wrong decision, I might continue on in unbearable pain. I am unsure of what decision to make, and I don’t even know whether I want happiness or pain."

"Grandpa, some things have happened and can’t just be resolved in a few words. I know you’re doing this today so that we all can approach these matters with a good mindset and solve them, but these issues are not something I can resolve if I just want to. The mistakes that have been made are not so easily forgotten by anyone. I’m not one to freely forgive others just for being open about it. I can easily admit to others the mistakes I’ve made because they are my own, and I have no reason not to apologize. But if someone else has wronged me, whether I forgive them or not, that decision is mine..."

Zhang Zhentian understood the attitude his son was currently taking. As a father, it wasn’t easy for him to say anything, but his heart was still in pain. That was his own flesh and blood; how could his heart not ache when his own son wouldn’t forgive him? But he had no other options, for all these decisions, all these mistakes were his own. The harm he had brought to his child; how could he be entitled to ask for his child’s forgiveness? He had made so many mistakes, hurt his son so deeply that his son never felt his love for many years. What right did he have to expect his son to forgive him for being a father, to act as if nothing had happened and continue to live a happy life together? That was absolutely impossible.