My Alleged Husband

Chapter 626 - 605: What if I Can’t Bear It?_1

"Grandfather, regarding everything you just said to me, I can answer you clearly without even thinking—I could never bear to leave my own children. I am their birth mother; they are the ones I brought into this world through hard work. How could I possibly not love them?"

"But some things can’t be addressed in a few words or resolved with a few pledges. Often, I don’t quite understand why I am so stubborn. I’ve given so much for this marriage, and yet, in the end, I’ve gained nothing."

"Perhaps you’ve never experienced what it’s like to have someone else dictate your life, to be a lamb led to slaughter without any power to resist, without any means to fight back. Who can understand that despair? Step by step, I’ve reached today. What I care about isn’t your family’s wealth. I could marry a man with no money or power, but I wish for that man to be sincerely devoted to me, not doubting me at every turn, only trusting me, his wife, to regard me as his spouse for life!"

"People are selfish, I understand the reasons behind her actions, the initial intentions, but she can’t strip me of everything, nor can she take away my rights to my own children. I don’t understand why I have to decide how to deal with my grandfather. I’ve made up my mind. No matter where I go, I will keep my son by my side. I can’t leave my son here and go abroad to live alone!"

Elder Zhang listened for a long time, but he hadn’t understood a single word.

He didn’t know what his daughter-in-law was trying to say. Was there something he wasn’t aware of? His grandson never said anything to him. Just because I got investors, does it mean I’m now abandoned by the entire world?

"Zhihan, is there some misunderstanding between you two that hasn’t been cleared up? How can you say such heartless and merciless things? They are your own children. As a mother, don’t you love these children? Aren’t you willing to bear even this humiliation for your children? Couples fight, it’s part of being together. Through quarrels and reconciliations, isn’t that how a relationship lasts forever? Often, you know better than I do that some resistance is futile struggling. So why do you still insist on doing such things? Wouldn’t it be better to let bygones be bygones? Do you really have to keep hurting yourself, the person you love most, and torment your own heart over and over again for you to be happy, to be joyful?"

Ran Zhihan was silent. To be honest, she didn’t even know what she truly wanted in her heart, which path she should choose, what she should do for every ending to be perfect, without enduring any suffering. She didn’t want her leaving to hurt her son, but she also knew if she didn’t leave soon to find some peace, the only outcome they would face was an eventual breakup, not a lifelong companionship.

"Grandfather, I really need to find a place to settle down and think, some things, once they happen, can’t be suddenly resolved. But I believe that over time, some issues will slowly become part of the past. I don’t want to hurry success. Maybe I’ve been too extreme in some of my decisions, and perhaps my leaving isn’t the final choice. But I just want to follow the final path, let that path determine my future life. I just need to calm down now and give my husband some time to reflect thoroughly on whether this marriage should continue. We’ve both taken this affection seriously, loving each other as if life and death depended on it, yet I’ve ended up with such an outcome. Who wouldn’t feel heartache? Who wouldn’t feel a bit of sadness and loss?"

"In reality, the matter isn’t whether I, as their mother, have the heart to abandon my children; obviously, I don’t. But what can I do about my reluctance when faced with these difficulties? I can only choose one way to go. I can’t stay here forever, nor can I allow my son to suffer repeatedly with me. Whatever the past had been, even if there were many faults, I’ve served this family like a workhorse for years. Even if there were no merits, there was hard work, yet just a few words were enough to negate all my hard efforts. He’s been so cruel to me, I’m not sure if I can be happy and fulfilled in my future married life. I can’t be certain that this won’t lead to sorrowful consequences for me. I only hope I can find happiness in the end, regardless of all the hardships I’ve faced, but let it not be to abandon my children. That would be far too cruel for a mother like me. Yet no one can understand my loneliness, my despair, only feeling that everything they do is right. So do I really deserve this? Do I have to bear all this pain?"

"Child, if you think this way, you are greatly mistaken. Everyone has their own path to walk. Since you chose to be with him in the beginning, you shouldn’t be judging the outcome, regardless of the result."

"Whether he continues to live with you or not, shouldn’t you maintain a positive and optimistic outlook to welcome a better tomorrow? There is no such thing as absolute despair. Those so-called despondencies are just excuses for people who refuse to face reality and choose to escape. Is he really in despair? Not at all."

"Nobody’s life is without despair. The kind of path you walk out of it depends on you and has nothing to do with anyone else. If you make the wrong choice, and you regret it for the rest of your life, who will you go to to recount the irreversible actions you’ve taken? Who can you turn to, to make up for the mistakes of the past? If you haven’t thought about that, then you can’t be so decisive in defining others’ lives. Think carefully about what you should do. Don’t come to me again until you’re clear, and you are not allowed to leave here. If you leave without permission, then you will never see your son again in your lifetime. I’m not threatening you. You know the Zhang family has this ability!"