My Alleged Husband

Chapter 428 - 406 You’re back?_1

Zhang Zhentian knew that Xia Jing had returned to the country, and his heart was extremely agitated. For five years, a full five years, he had not laid eyes on his wife, always silently following Xia Jing from behind, but he had no way to face her openly. That one time, he watched helplessly as the woman he loved was right before his eyes, yet he couldn’t go out to meet her. He feared that once he did, his wife would choose to flee again, to refuse to see him once more. He really didn’t want to endure that feeling of uncertainty and loss again—it was a feeling worse than death, suffering every day with no way to escape. Whenever he thought about this, it made him feel so uncomfortable inside, but he had no other choice. Since it was a path he had chosen himself, he had to continue on it, even if it was full of thorns.

Zhang Zhentian asked Xia Jing to meet, and they saw each other.

"I really never expected that after a full five years, you would come back to this place. I thought you’d never step foot here again in your lifetime, that you would only live abroad because you were afraid to see me, you didn’t want to see me. I didn’t expect you could come back, and that’s truly surprising to me!"

"Why wouldn’t I want to see you? Why wouldn’t I dare to see you? If the person who did something wrong isn’t me, why should I be afraid to see you? Until now, do you still think the person who did something wrong is me and not yourself? Why are you still so obstinate? Can’t you think about what you’ve done wrong, where you went astray? Why have you been treated this way? Haven’t you ever thought about the lies you told over and over? Carrying the can for you over and over again, you never considered how that would make me feel. When you kept shifting the mistakes you made onto me, letting me bear the brunt of those sins, I knew then that we could never return to how it was before. For every act and every word, you have to pay the price. I won’t be as foolish as I was before, believing whatever you said and then taking the fall for you, letting you get away with it time after time. Why should I? Previously, you pushed all responsibility onto me, and I was powerless to resist because back then, we were still husband and wife, and I couldn’t bear to see our bond completely broken. I hoped we could have our own space, but in the end, I realized that in your heart, no matter what I did as your wife, I would never receive any praise from you, because you never had a place for me in your heart. Again and again, you treated me as though I were air, and I never complained. I thought it was because you were too tired from work and needed an outlet, so I let myself be that outlet for you. But later I found out that in your heart, it wasn’t about me letting myself be the outlet for you to vent. You have a greater greed that blinded you, and you believed that whatever you wanted to do, as long as you spoke out, I had to help you unconditionally. You always felt it was something I owed you and that everything should be taken for granted. But have you ever really thought about my feelings? Do you know how much pain and suffering I went through? When I saw you happily living life in someone else’s arms, I never said anything. I comforted myself by saying they were just colleagues, and it was just a polite gesture, I didn’t overthink it. But what was the final outcome you gave me? You just kicked me out of your life so easily. Have you ever considered what I needed, right? You still believe that everything you’ve done is right up to this moment. Do you really think your actions are good? After living together for so many years, I think we should at least understand each other a bit better. Surely, there’s still some place for me in your heart. You can’t be so heartless as to hurt me over and over again. But in the end, not only did you hurt me time and again, each time was worse than the last. You’ve left me battered and bruised. Why do you continue to pester me? Do you really want to see me die before your eyes to think that’s appropriate? Do you really not want me to live in this world?"

Zhang Zhentian had not expected his wife to say such words to him, he felt these were the words he least wanted to hear in his lifetime. Yet today he had heard them all, and he had no choice but to push them to the back of his mind. He didn’t believe these were his wife’s heartfelt words. As a couple who had lived together for more than a decade, how could there be no feelings between them? How could feelings that lasted over a decade be forgotten so easily?

"This matter is not what you think it is. You should trust me, shouldn’t you? I’m your husband. What’s wrong with trusting me a little? Shouldn’t there be more trust between us? If you keep doubting me like this, then what’s the point of continuing to live together? You always believe it’s my fault, that I shouldn’t have asked you for a divorce. Do you think you’re without fault? You lied to me about your health, do you think that doesn’t hurt me? I actually care about you, that’s why I worry about your well-being. But what about you? Have you ever thought about how much pain I felt in my heart upon hearing you were sick? Have you considered what that feels like? You’ve never realized how selfish you’ve been. Why do you expect me to be selflessly devoted to you? Do you think that’s possible? We should both take a good look at our past and figure out who’s right and who’s wrong. The past has been over for so long, why keep clinging to it? Life can’t always stay the same without growth. To grow, we must look forward, not keep clinging to past events. Do you think we will be happy or joyful doing that?"

"Whether it’s happy or sad, I definitely won’t live with you again in this lifetime. Living with you is suffocating. I feel like even the air I breathe is no longer fresh. Since I left you, I’ve been living happily every day. Why wouldn’t I?"