My Alleged Husband

Chapter 310 - 290 I can’t help it either_1

"Son, it’s not that I don’t want to consider things from your perspective, but the situation has already evolved into what it is now, and whatever I say is futile, isn’t it? A father heartlessly abandoned me; he never considered how much pain that caused me, as his wife. Why should I shamelessly cling to him and continue to live with him? Wouldn’t that make him even more miserable?" Xia Jing began to speak to Zhang Yichen: "Actually, your father and I lived together for over a decade, and there are many things you don’t know about, you’re unaware of what we’ve been through in these years. We withstood all kinds of severe storms together, but now that he has chosen to abandon me, it proves that I no longer have a place in his heart. His determination to be with me at the start might have been a moment of impulse. After living with him for so many years, he feels that life with me is meaningless and doesn’t want to continue living with me. He believes that staying with me would suffocate him, so he had no choice but to abandon me!"

"But you two were truly in love when you got together, weren’t you? Why can’t two people who are in love stay together? Why turn a marriage that was once happy into such a tragedy?" Zhang Yichen couldn’t understand why his mother would do this. If she had only listened to him back then, if only she had backed off sooner, would things have turned out differently? Would his mother not have had to endure the pain of divorce?

"I truly loved her, and because I loved him, I cannot accept the fact that he abandoned me. Do you know how much I longed for him to spend our lives together? It is precisely because I loved him so much that I will never forgive him in this lifetime for abandoning me over such a trivial matter. Perhaps in your eyes, it’s a significant issue, but to me, it was something I was forced to divulge, because only then could I ensure that my family, my loved one, could live a happy life. But none of you ever considered how much pain it caused me. Do you realize that? These years I spent with him are the most beautiful memories of my life. To be with him, I made so many sacrifices, without flinching at hardship. Even when others spoke ill of me, I could endure it all. I feared nothing to be with him, even ready to give up my life, but now I’ve realized that I can’t do it anymore. I have risked my life for him over and over, but has he ever done as much for me? He has never considered my feelings, treating me like someone insignificant and unrelated, like a pet he could call for or dismiss at will. Do you know how hard it is for me to accept this? My dear son, you don’t have to worry about your father and me anymore. It’s truly over between us now. Perhaps this is for the best for both of us, because only this way can he live the life he desires, happily..."

"Mom, I know that I am the younger generation, and I have my own difficulties. You have done so many things that hurt me, but deep down, I never really hated you, because I believe you will always be my good mother. No matter how you treat me, I am always willing, but I simply cannot accept you treating me like that time and again. Do you know? I’ve always hoped that my father and mother could come back and pick me up happily, to treasure me as their beloved son. I’ve been waiting for this for over a decade. I’m almost twenty-one now, still waiting. Why? Because I, too, hope to receive the love of my parents that I’ve missed for so many years. I hope for your consolation, but is this how you console me? By treating me not as your son, but as if I were your enemy, by consoling me with hurt time and again? I can bear not being regarded as part of the family, because you are my parents, and parents always have their reasons and justifications for how they treat their children. As the younger generation, I cannot hate my own parents; I understand this, so I choose to forgive you. But I can never come to terms with the fact that you two have broken apart because of me. Such feelings may not matter to you, but to me, they are truly unbearable, because I need my father and mother to love me, to take care of me, to accompany me as I grow. You have missed out on over a decade of my love; do you also intend to withhold even this simple love from me?"

Zhang Yichen really didn’t want his mom and dad to leave him just like that. He too longed for their love and hoped to receive a compensatory affection from them. Although he’d act tough verbally, declining their love, deep down he truly wished to gain his parents’ affection. Because love from them was so rare for him, he had waited for over a decade and never experienced it. Now that his parents had finally returned, why did he have to face such an outcome? Why did he have to endure such pain?

"The love from your mom and dad can never be compensated for in this lifetime, because we caused you such harm. You can choose to live without us as your parents, but I hope you remember, no matter when or where, you are always in your mother’s heart. You are a piece of flesh that fell from my body, my own flesh and blood that I carried with heartache for ten months and painstakingly gave birth to. How could I possibly not love you?"

"If you love me so much, why can’t you continue to live with my dad? Just consider it as me begging you, let’s go find dad together. Can’t you just stop the divorce and keep living with him? Is it really that hard to give me a bit more love? Do I, as your son, really not measure up to a moment of impulsive behavior for you?"

Upon hearing her son speak like that, Xia Jing truly didn’t know what to say. She didn’t want such a thing to happen either, but now there was no way to turn back. The divorce papers were already in her hands. Zhang Zhentian had been forcibly brought to the Civil Affairs Bureau by Xia Jing; it was she who wanted the divorce, not Zhang Zhentian. He had pleaded with her not to divorce, but still, she insisted on going through with it for the sake of her so-called dignity. Step by step, she had dismantled their path, it was all of her doing, and she alone had caused the outcomes. Why then should she seek forgiveness from others? A marriage that is sought in desperation and sustained by coercion will never be happy. Now that it had come to this, there was no way for Xia Jing to turn back...