My Alleged Husband

Chapter 289 - 269 Are You Sick?_1

Xia Jing thought the words she had said to her younger brother were seamless, that no one would know, but she hadn’t expected that her own husband was right outside her brother’s door. He had heard everything. Yet, Zhentian didn’t push the door open and enter; he silently turned around and left. He couldn’t understand why his wife had to lie over and over again. Moreover, why such a big lie this time? Could it really be that his wife was ill, and he was blissfully unaware?

Xia Jing looked back at Xiao Wei every few steps; Xiao Wei nodded at her, signaling that he understood what she meant.

As Xia Jing turned to leave, she walked for a long time on the road, unsure how she could continue to hide the lie. She knew that lies couldn’t be concealed forever; they would eventually be exposed. But what would be her fate on the day when the lie was uncovered? Losing her dearest younger brother or the husband who had always loved her the most? She didn’t know what to do. The lies had already been told; what else could she do?

A few hours passed, and Xia Jing leisurely returned home. She saw Zhentian sitting on the sofa holding a newspaper, his face full of unhappiness, without a trace of a smile.

"I’m back. What’s wrong with you today? Why such a long face? Did someone make you angry? Or is there some bad news?" Xia Jing spoke to Zhentian.

Upon hearing Xia Jing’s questions, Zhentian didn’t understand what could possibly be most important in his wife’s heart. Was it always about news or moods?

"Oh, is it some bad news? Xia Jing, I have a question I’d really like to consult you about!" Zhentian said to Xia Jing.

Xia Jing felt a sense of unfamiliarity with this version of Zhentian. The Zhentian of the past would never speak to her in such a tone, nor would he talk about consulting her. What happened today? Why did her husband speak to her like this? Could it be that he knew something? Or was there really some bad news?

"Fine then, you say, as long as it’s a question from you, I will hold nothing back, I’ll tell you everything, ask away. If you miss this chance, I will never give you another opportunity to question me!"

"Alright, since you’ve said as much, I won’t stand on ceremony with you either. I would like to know, when did you fall ill? And when did you develop such severe depression? Can you tell me? I don’t understand why you would fall ill and not tell me, your husband by your pillow. In your heart, do I matter less than a stranger? Yes, he’s your brother, but he has his own family now. You are my kin now, you are part of my family. Why wouldn’t you share these things with me? Or were you lying to me?"

Zhang Zhentian felt infuriated. He was angry that his wife had never spoken to him, her husband by her pillow, about her illness; he was angry about whether he held any place at all in his wife’s heart as her husband; he was livid over why, after all these years, his wife still refused to open her heart and speak the truth to him. He understood that over the years, what Xia Jing had said to him had been truth mixed with lies, and he had lived most of his life amidst these truths and falsehoods. He did not want to spend the second half of his life in such confusion. He wanted to get everything clear before continuing to live with Xia Jing. But after so many years of emotion, could they really make everything clear? How could they delve deeply into so many years’ worth of issues? Pursuing the matter would only end up hurting the feelings between them.

Xia Jing couldn’t understand how her husband had found out about her severe depression—had he clearly overheard the conversation she just had with her brother outside the door?

"Zhang Zhentian, I am asking you, how did you find out I was suffering from depression? I’ve never told you about my illness. Why did you suddenly ask me today whether I have such severe depression and why I didn’t tell you about it? Now, I would like you to answer me, how did you come to know of these things?"

"It seems that all of this is true? In my heart, I treat you as my wife, but how about you? How do you treat me? You keep such a major issue from me, and it’s not right. You should’ve confided in your brother. If I hadn’t followed you today, planning to go to your brother’s house, if it hadn’t been for your words to your brother today, wouldn’t I remain in the dark for the rest of my life, never knowing you had such severe depression? I’m desperate to know if you have even the slightest bit of regard for me as your husband. I treat you as the woman I cherish and love the most. How do you treat me? Lies upon lies I can endure, but I cannot bear the burden of such a huge lie intended to deceive me. After sharing a bed for over a decade, you’ve never once spoken a wholehearted truth to me. I’ve tolerated everything. I know when you are being truthful and when you are not, but I’ve never called you out because I don’t want to damage the marital affection we’ve built over these years. But today, I truly can’t stand it any longer. Do you know how afraid I am that you might fall ill, how scared I am that you might leave me for some other reason? Standing outside his house today, I was terrified of what you might reveal—that you were diagnosed with a terminal illness. However, when I heard you say you only had severe depression, I felt such relief. I thanked heaven and earth that it wasn’t an incurable disease, and that I still had a chance to live life with you. But the thought that you hid such a significant matter from me ignites a raging fire in my heart. You’re my wife, my lawfully wedded wife. Why would you treat me this way, hurting the heart I have for you?"

Xia Jing had not expected Zhang Zhentian to react so strongly, all because he was afraid she would leave him. In this moment, she suddenly felt regret. If she hadn’t told Xiao Wei such a lie, perhaps he wouldn’t have heard these words? Perhaps he wouldn’t be so heartbroken, so grief-stricken? Seeing the man she loved suffer so deeply because of a single word from her made her heart ache. She didn’t know whether she should now tell the truth to the man she loved. She feared that once the truth was out, she might lose the heartfelt acceptance her man had for her. She was afraid, and deep down she knew that it was precisely her fear that had hurt the one she loved most, and who loved her most in return, again and again. Yet often she felt she had no choice but to walk this path, believing that perhaps only this way could they both have an exit. She convinced herself that the emotional pain she caused Zhang Zhentian was a test of their marital love. But what she didn’t realize was that all these tests had completely chilled her husband’s heart toward her.