My Alleged Husband

Chapter 250 - 230: Can You Really Let Go?_1

"If that’s what you think, then I have nothing else to say, but can you really let go? He’s the man you’ve been waiting for ten years, the one you’ve loved for a decade, and the one you’ve searched for tirelessly at all costs. In those ten years you searched for him, he was also searching for you at all times. His yearning for you is not one bit less than yours for him. Can you really bear to see him in so much pain because of your departure? I believe you can’t because your love for him comes from the heart, it’s not a casual kind of love. If your love is that deep, how can you bear to see the man you love suffering so much because of yourself?" Li Jiayuan didn’t want to see the love between these two people destroyed.

"Auntie, do you know how much I love him? For him, I can even give up my life. In my worldview, without him, I would be living a life worse than death. But what can I do? He’s the son of a wealthy family, recognized by all as an economic emperor, and I am merely a commoner’s daughter. No matter what, I will never be his match. Our difference is too great, our marriage would be mismatched. Do you think a marriage not blessed by one’s parents can be happy? Auntie, I actually know why you came to see me today, to persuade me. You also guessed what decision I would make. You don’t want me to give up on our ten-year relationship so easily, but I have no choice. If I insist on staying with him, I will only hurt more people and cause pain to our parents because of our relationship. If that’s the case, isn’t it better to endure a short pain than a long one? Maybe if I give up on him, he can find a better girl. Perhaps that girl will bring more meaning to his life, ensure his safety in the future, and help him climb the ladder of success. Why not?"

"But by doing this, aren’t you both suffering severe injuries? You regard each other as more important than your own lives. How can you give up such a profound relationship?"

"I have to admit, in my heart, I see him as more important than the whole world. In my heart, I feel I can lose the whole world. I don’t care if the whole world doesn’t understand me, doesn’t love me, doesn’t accept me; I just want him by my side. But is that really possible? If I do that, won’t there be a day when he leaves me anyway? Maybe in his heart, being together is right for now, but eventually, someone else might come along, and it will no longer be appropriate for us to be together. Auntie, I truly, truly love him. I don’t want our relationship to end up with him abandoning me when I love him to the core. That kind of pain is unbearable. If he chooses to leave me then, it would be better for me to give up on him now. By giving up on him, I also give him a myriad of possibilities to choose from in his future life. Why should he hang himself on one tree? For all these years, I haven’t felt anything for any other boy. He is the only one. I will never love anyone else in my life. In my heart, he has long been my husband, even without a name or recognition. If he were to abandon me when my love has seeped into my marrow, it would be better to just kill me early. Do you know? Lying on the hospital bed, I thought a lot. If one day he leaves me, should I choose suicide or should I choose to smile and bless him? In my heart, he is the man I love most. I can’t bear to see him marry another woman and still have to greet them with a smile, wishing them a happy marriage. Isn’t that even more cruel to me? If that day really comes, it will hurt more than the blow his mother dealt me. His mother treated me and my parents that way because she doesn’t know me, but he has waited for me for ten years. I have loved him for ten years; I don’t want our future relationship to end up like that. It might not be the most painful for him, but for me, it is the most painful of all. I know letting go can also be beautiful. If his heart truly doesn’t hold me, then I think it would be better that we not be together. If a relationship loses love and remains, both parties will be alone for life. Rather than that, I’d rather let him live happily. As long as I see him happy, that is enough for me. I can lose the whole world, I can even die here, but I can’t be without him. Without him, it is to live a life worse than death. Why shouldn’t I die quickly and painlessly now?"

Ran Zhihan began to cry, her tears flowing like a river that could never be exhausted, and she wept in front of Li Jiayuan like a child.

Li Jiayuan watched as Ran Zhihan cried like a little tear person, her heart feeling a twinge of pain. No matter what, she had always treated this girl as her own daughter. She had only sons and had always wished for a daughter, yet fate did not grant her that wish. Instead, it had given her such a wonderful niece-in-law.

"No matter what decision you make, I hope you will seriously consider it. Do you think he would agree with this choice of yours? Don’t assume that he will share your onesided feelings. Maybe what you think is good, is the very thing he hates the most. He values you more than his life, that’s why he has defied his parents over and over again for your sake. Don’t you want a man like that? Men like him are truly rare in this world. Child, cherish the hard-won love you’ve found, and don’t let some people or unnecessary things bury your lifelong happiness. You know how much he loves you, that kind of love can’t be feigned, it emanates from the depths of the heart, penetrates to the marrow – how could it be simply severed?"

The more Ran Zhihan cried, the more heartbroken she became. How could she not know how deeply he loved her? She pondered, The problem’s resolved, isn’t it? The acne is even gone, my love. But what choice does he have? Can a marriage without blessings truly be happy? The differences in their educational background, in intelligence, in family backgrounds had repeatedly hurt their relationship. Could they endure such pain again one day? If the pain continued in the future, then why not take this opportunity to cut ties completely?

"Auntie, I really can’t let him go. In my eyes, he’s more important than my life. I could die for him. And perhaps on the day he leaves me, I would choose to depart from this world, to say goodbye to everything. Yet even so, I still hope he can live a happy and fulfilling life. I’ve fantasized many times about what I would do if one day I were diagnosed with a terminal illness. Would I choose to have him by my side during my last moments, or would I choose to hide it from him and leave this world alone, eventually dying alone in a foreign land? The truth is, if that day ever comes, I would smile and tell him: as long as he’s happy, I’m satisfied. I would tell him: meeting him in this lifetime is my greatest happiness, the time we’ve walked hand in hand is an indelible memory in my heart. He might forget these things many years later, but they will never fade from my memory..."