My Alleged Husband

Chapter 248 - 228 Paying for One’s Mistakes_1

"Even though you’ve said these words to me today, I still have to pay for my mistakes. If I don’t step forward and take responsibility for the errors I’ve committed in the past, Yichen will definitely not forgive me, his mother. To a mother, obtaining forgiveness from her son is incredibly important. In my eyes, I don’t crave for a life that is luxurious or exciting. I don’t desire to return to the Zhang Family or to live with him again. Nor do I expect him to be by my side in my future life. All I hope for is his forgiveness for my shortcomings as a mother, because, in his eyes, I abandoned him. I admit that was my mistake. I should not have selfishly abandoned him to go abroad alone. All these years, I have been reflecting upon myself incessantly, wondering whether what I did was wrong. Back then, I couldn’t see my son; I only thought my own freedom was more important than my family, than my parents. I never once considered him. At that time, all I wanted was to live a happy life, never considering that my child would also need his mother’s presence and companionship. Perhaps it is because of my actions that he has grown to hate me deeply. Over the years, he hasn’t called me ’mom’ even once. The only time I heard him call me ’mom’, my actions shattered that hope once again. I’ve made so many mistakes yet nobody has held me accountable, which I’m grateful for. But a person must learn to grow, and to grow, one must first dare to admit their own mistakes," Xia Jing said to Ran Zhihan, "Zhihan, I’ve actually noticed for a while that you truly love him. You love him deeply. You would even forsake your life for him, but it added up to me threatening you with your parents, leading you to this point today. Do you know? When you rushed out to shield your parents, when I saw that knife plunge directly into your heart, I knew you were a strong person. Deep down, I want to tell you something. Regardless of whether you are a noblewoman or a commoner, I will never look down on you. I myself am born a commoner and would never despise another. The only reason I wanted to separate you from my son was I feared that you wouldn’t be a good helpmeet, that you would hold him back, leaving the man recognized as the world’s economic emperor to be ridiculed. You know, for him, there is nothing he wouldn’t mind sacrificing, but for our family, it’s different. In the future, his reputation represents the whole family, the Zhang Corporation, and his grandfather. You must be very clear on how much his grandfather cares about face."

"I understand, I know how much grandfather loves face. If grandfather didn’t care so much about face, he wouldn’t have sent me to study abroad. Of course, sending me abroad was also for my own good; he wanted me to continue my education, to develop myself into an elite beneficial to society. To grandfather, nothing is more important than Yichen. In his heart, Yichen is his everything. He could do without the company, his dignity, even lose face, and abandon his principles, but he could never bear to lose his precious grandson. Auntie, actually, what you did isn’t unforgivable. The only thing you shouldn’t have done is to hurt your son over and over again. In his eyes, his grandfather’s happiness is his happiness. Even my position can’t compare to that of his grandfather. Depending on each other for twenty years, do you think such affection could easily be replaced? All these years, grandfather didn’t need anything else for the sake of raising him, but you came back and expected him to recognize you, parents who had abandoned him. How could he accept that? Everyone has a rebellious phase. Although his has long passed, deep down, he can’t accept that you just left him and then decided to come back as if nothing happened, expecting him to call you ’dad’ and ’mom.’ Did you never consider how hard it would be for a child abandoned for so many years to accept that? You’ve never lacked love from anyone, and you’ve never wronged anyone. Even if I lay here motionless today, it wouldn’t be related to you. You haven’t wronged me. The only person you’ve wronged is him, because your abandonment caused him to suffer. Do you know? When I first met him in the valley, his hands were covered in blood from being wounded by branches during training. It was a horrific sight, but he didn’t cry. He even smiled at me. It was this strength that made me fall for him. How many city boys these days can be as strong as him? Who else can be as goal-oriented as he is?"

As Xia Jing listened to the girl’s words, she found them profoundly sensible. Over the years, she knew the magnitude of her mistakes, what she had lost and gained. When she looked back, she realized that it was all in the past, irretrievable, even if she wanted to make amends. She knew that the love a child lacks from a parent is irreplaceable. Yet it was for this reason, she thought of how to choose a good helpmeet for her son. However, her way of expressing her love for her son ultimately was a mistake, causing her son to misconstrue her as a bad person, an irresponsible mother time and again.

"Thank you for telling me so much today. Hearing your words has brought me a lot of relief, but at the same time, I’m very sad. Because from what you’ve said, I’ve come to understand the suffering he’s endured over the years, how much injustice he’s faced. Yet he, a young man, bore it all stoically. With no one by his side, no parents to share his struggles with, it’s truly remarkable that he could stay strong all by himself to this day. Don’t worry, from now on, I’ll never hurt him again. I’ll never do anything to make him sad. I’ll take good care of him. I believe I can find the right way to express my love. I’m certain I can make him accept me as his mother again, and within my lifetime, I’m determined to hear him call me ’mom’!"

Xia Jing finished speaking and left the ward, walking out. Her conversation with Ran Zhihan inside the ward was overheard by Zhang Yichen, Old Master Zhang, and Zhang Zhentian, who were all outside the door. They had not anticipated that Xia Jing would speak such touching words—could it be that Xia Jing had truly reformed?

As Ran Zhihan watched Xia Jing’s retreating figure, he suddenly felt a sense of loneliness in his heart. He had never been as clear-minded as he was now. He had won the love of his life, and he understood how much his beloved cared for him, yet he chose to let go.

The three Lei brothers raced to the hospital upon hearing that Ran Zhihan had been stabbed. When they arrived and saw Ran Zhihan lying in the hospital bed, her face having regained a bit of color, looking less pale and weak, they knew she was recovering. Finally, they could let go of the anxiety that had weighed on them.