My Alleged Husband

Chapter 1419 - 1214

Always believing that unforgettable memories are deeply etched in the heart, only to find out they are merely obsessions one refuses to let go.

Zhang Zhentian never thought his wife would have such a hard time living with him, without any joy. What had he done as a husband to make her feel so sad? Was he really that incompetent in her eyes? He wished for his wife to live happily and joyfully with him, yet she was unhappy in his presence. Every word she said felt like a knife stabbed into his heart, hurting him deeply. Despite giving her everything, her coldness was his reward, culminating in today’s hurtful words. What could he do to relieve her pain and bring happiness into their lives together? Would leaving her alone bring her true relief?

When this thought first appeared in Zhang Zhentian’s mind, he quickly stifled it. He couldn’t let such an idea persist in his thoughts. It frightened him because he cared too much about his wife and couldn’t bear to leave her. If he truly let her go, who would be there for him? Would he have to live alone for the rest of his life? Such misery must never happen—his life would never be happy again.

"Wife, I know everything I did hurt you and embarrassed you. I selfishly made you take the blame for many things because of me. I realize all these mistakes were mine, and I shouldn’t have been so selfish towards you. But my heart truly cannot leave you. Wanting to leave me is akin to tearing me apart. You’re the one person I can’t live without. How can you forget all our beautiful memories? I don’t believe they aren’t in your mind anymore. I yearn to continue living with you. Can you give me a little time, a chance to regain your trust, an opportunity to accompany you and make us truly happy together? Isn’t it better to have each other? Why cause such pain? If you leave, your heart will ache, and mine will suffer even more terribly. Why punish yourself for my mistakes?"

Xia Jing felt reluctant to let go of this relationship. After all, it was the bond she had nurtured over the years, a union through storms and challenges. How could she selfishly abandon him now, forsaking a happiness that could have been theirs? If she agreed to be with him again, who could assure her past grievances wouldn’t repeat? Could a single lie lead to another divorce? What value would she have in his eyes?

"I really don’t know if I should believe every word you say. Years ago, you made similar promises, but you’ve never fulfilled them. Promises seem as fleeting as daily speech. You never consider my feelings, and the recurring pain I can forgive. But the lie that led to our divorce leaves a permanent wound. I can’t forget it. You were so resolute back then, dragging me to the Civil Affairs Bureau to divorce me. I agreed, knowing you kept searching for me afterward. But I can’t be with you again. Each time I’m with you, scenes from our time at the bureau flood back, your unwavering, callous insistence. You abandoned me, seemingly pleased to do so. In these years apart, I don’t know what you’ve gone through, but you simply decide to return and order me back like before. Why? Why must I endure this again? Is it just because you were once my husband? Must I repeatedly forgive you? I’m not a Saint. I can’t manage a relationship like a Saint. You hurt me, and that hurt won’t disappear with a few pleas or simple apologies. I can’t love you like I once did; that love has already vanished. Shouldn’t we stop tormenting each other? I wish for a life without you, where my happiness flourishes compared to when I was with you. I can do as I please, living in my own world without worries. When you’re around, I constantly consider your feelings, fearing our relationship might harm others, but you never cared about that. Always indulging yourself, someone who indulges herself can’t share life with me. Neither should I burden you. Your selfishness scares me; your actions terrify me. I can’t live like this anymore. Each day is anxiety-filled, and the mental strain is overwhelming. I’m afraid that if this goes on, my sanity might break one day. I don’t want that day to come too soon. I wish to live longer and see my son forgive me. I don’t want to lose my precious life because of you. Please, don’t come after me anymore. It’s not good for either of us!"

No one has ever cared for me. We pretend to be strangers.