My Alleged Husband

Chapter 1277 - 1106: A Life of Hard Work

The path I once walked, who could truly stand in my shoes and consider my struggles? How painful it once was, who would know? Watching helplessly as everything I cared about left my side, willing to see everything I loved go against me, seeing the things I used to yearn for, always feeling the kind of disappointment of never being able to attain them, who could understand?

After accepting all the trials again and again, I repeatedly convinced myself that I’d done my best. But in your minds, what do I even mean?

I lost what I loved most, the woman I loved is gone, my beloved family shattered. I never thought I would end up like this one day. Why did the road I traveled lead to this state? How I wish I could be carefree and happy, but it’s likely nothing more than my own wishful thinking.

"Since you’ve come to terms with it now, I don’t know what more to say. Let’s take this time to calm down and think clearly. Why did we initially get together? Was it just an impulsive decision, or was it true love? If the result makes neither of us happy, then let’s separate for a while, give each other time to think it through, then face these questions again. Or, for a lifetime, if we are to be lifelong partners, if a couple is full of doubt and mistrust, they won’t be happy together. I don’t want to be in opposition with my wife when we’re together!"

"I’ve already said, I know what to do. I’ve admitted it, and I won’t disturb you anymore. Why do you insist on bringing up these things? You just want to fly freely outside for a while, that’s fine. I won’t restrict you from flying outside, however you want to fly is up to you; whether you soar against the skies or stay grounded as a land-bound duck, it has nothing to do with me. You are free during this time, but once it passes, you must come back to me. Don’t think you can escape from my side again." Ran Zhihan finished speaking and hung up the phone, leaving Zhang Yichen no chance to retort.

As soon as the call ended, Xia Jing called Zhang Yichen.

"Hello, mom? Is there something up? It’s so late, haven’t you gone to bed yet?" Zhang Yichen began speaking to Xia Jing.

"Yichen, mom has something to ask you, did you have a fight with your wife and run away from home? Now your grandfather is searching all over for you, your dad has even reached out to me, claiming that I took you away."

"Mom, I don’t know how to explain this to you right now. I’m living alone abroad, and I’ll return in a while. I’ve just had a little spat with my wife and don’t know how to face her. It’ll get better with time. Please don’t argue with dad over my issues. If she comes to you again looking for me, just say I’m abroad and it has nothing to do with you!"

Xia Jing finally understood, but Zhang Zhentian wouldn’t believe her.

"You silly child, do you think your dad will believe what I say? If he did, he wouldn’t be looking for people through me. He doesn’t trust me at all. He thinks your running away is my fault, that I instigated it. Yet he has no idea it has nothing to do with me. In all this time, you haven’t even contacted me of your own accord. But he thinks I’m hiding your whereabouts on purpose, unwilling to tell him."

"Then why don’t you just get back together with dad? He surely cares about you, and just doesn’t know how to talk to you directly, using me as a pretext."

"I’ve said it many times, ever since he first proposed divorce to me, I decided I could never be with him again in this lifetime. Since he made that decision, don’t think of regretting it; there’s no remedy for regret. He proposed divorce not once but repeatedly, and each time I forgave him. But this time, I won’t. Every act of his gets more outrageous. Why should I mindlessly forgive him over and over? Just because he’s my husband? Just because I love him? Should I always understand and take the blame for him? I once believed that if he did something wrong, he would take responsibility and not push everything onto me, a woman. But that time I realized he was just a coward unwilling to take responsibility. He wanted me to bear all his faults, disrespecting me completely. I once saw him as so important, yet he expected me to shoulder all his guilt. I truly don’t understand, why after making a choice, should there be regret now? Wouldn’t it be better to part peacefully, rather than damage each other and turn to enemies? Every word he now says disgusts me, each action feels repulsive and unforgivable. The feelings I had are gone, love is no longer there. My love for him was buried deep when he abandoned me, and it will never revive."

Zhang Yichen didn’t know what to say to his mom, seeing things come to this, could it truly have nothing to do with him? If he hadn’t repeatedly hurt his parents’ hearts, they wouldn’t have reached this stage. Ultimately, he is the cause as their son...

"In truth, you both did nothing wrong. The fact that it’s come to this point is my doing, I should bear the blame as the eldest son. You shouldn’t have lost lifelong happiness because of me. You were so in love before, everyone knew this. Watching how fearlessly you loved each other, I was envious. But now because of me, this is the only outcome you can choose. How do I come to terms with this?"

"This can’t be blamed on you. We were the ones who cruelly abandoned you, as parents, we didn’t fulfill our duties. Our abandonment is why you came to hate us. But now that you’ve chosen to forgive us, that’s the greatest gift we could receive. I just want to quietly live out my remaining years, seeing my descendants is enough. I no longer wish to consider rebuilding with him, it was so exhausting. I gave up too much for him, and now I should live well for myself. Perhaps when your father finally comes to his senses, we’ll each find our own peace. I hope you have time to speak to him, help him understand parting peacefully is best, and we shouldn’t be bitter for any reason."

Who can verify that I haven’t tried in life? Of all the hardships I faced, who ever contemplated my sacrifices? How much did I give? In the moment I gave my all, what did I leave behind, what did I gain, what did I ultimately receive?