My Alleged Husband

Chapter 1273 - 1102: Everyone Has Suffered and Struggled

No one goes through life smoothly; everyone has lived a life so bitter that it’s hard to bear. While you may not clearly remember his life in your mind, others can remember yours vividly.

Zhang Zhentian knows deep down what his wife is thinking, but some things are really hard to say out loud. Everyone has their dignity and face; every action affects others, and everyone pays an equal price. No one willingly agrees to this; it’s just that you have to keep living, and he’s truly exhausted. Is living really so painful? Why can he never find the life he desires? Why must he live a life filled with unbearable hardship, knowing the outcome but ultimately submerged in pain, eternally trapped in it with no way out?

Xia Jing sensed Zhang Zhentian’s feelings and knew that what she did might hurt the harmony of her family, so she apologized to her father.

"Zhentian, I’m sorry. When you hear your daughter-in-law say such things, your heart must be in agony, but I really didn’t want to hide my feelings any longer. I just want to live with the one I love most. If my beloved boyfriend could return to me, I would give up everything, even my life. If time could give me a chance, I would rather stand in the middle of the road and let all the cars crush me to pieces just to see my beloved man one last time in the hospital; that would be my happiest moment. Just a glance from him would satisfy me. Life might be too tumultuous, and why must I endure so many hardships in this life? Can’t I live happily just once? Again and again, life has pushed me into the abyss of pain. My actions have destroyed all my happiness with my own hands."

"I have personally buried the root of my happiness and have no idea how many mistakes I’ve made or how many people I’ve wronged in this life. But I know this time I truly fell for someone, and falling for someone means losing. I understood from the moment I realized my true feelings for him that I had no chance of winning in this life because my heart belonged to him. Wherever he goes, my heart will follow, even to the ends of the earth."

"I have no idea how pitiful my life has been. The people I want never stay; the career I want never prospers. I want to know why I have to go through so much in the same land. The person I want has left me; the career I desire has shattered. I just want to live happily, yet I struggle in the countless dark nights. I’m pleading for help; I’m begging for help. My bright life, please save me! And my bright future depends on her; she is my first love boyfriend!"

"Forget it. Whatever I say doesn’t get through to you. I no longer want to meddle in matters between you and my son. Just hope that in the end, you both show restraint and don’t make each other more upset. Can’t the past just stay in the past? Why bring it up repeatedly and cause everyone to suffer so much pain?"

"I’ve thought it over myself, but knowing that I could risk my life for him, even being hospitalized after drinking too much, shows that I’ve already sunk too deep in this life and can’t extricate myself. I don’t know how to prove my presence, so I’ve chosen to hurt her instead, not realizing that hurting her would ultimately hurt me. When will centuries of waiting finally bring his return to me? I don’t know. I dial his number over and over, only to find myself on the blacklist. Who could understand my despair and pain when I saw him delete all my information and resources? Who knows the depth of my despair at that moment? I remind myself again and again not to make mistakes and just to be happy with him, why make everyone unhappy with me, but still, I let him down and eventually lost him. Thinking back to the days and nights spent together, thinking back to the moments of companionship, how painful it must be inside. To everyone, the evening scenery is vibrant, but to me, it’s sorrowful, withered, and faded. I can’t see any light. In the darkness where one can’t see a hand in front of their face, I know I’m truly in pain. That has become a dark place within me, a permanent darkness with no way to obtain brightness unless he can return to my side!"

"Perhaps you will never understand the pain I feel in this lifetime, but I truly want to tell you that I love him; I love him; I love him so much that I don’t care about anything. I love him enough to give up my life for him; I love him enough to abandon all that I care about, yet I still can’t keep him by my side. How incompetent must I be to not even be able to hold on to the one I love most? I often think of what way I could use to regain him."

"Having done something wrong, no matter how the heavens treat you, you can only choose to accept all the punishment from the heavens because you don’t have a choice."

"I won’t bring these things up again. I’ll think about how to live happily, but I can’t make myself happy. When I close my eyes, my mind is filled with images of holding hands with him. All these years, I’ve never forgotten the happy times with him. The happiness with him was the happiest moment in my life, and although that time may be gone, my heart will always love him. No matter the ends of the earth, whether he marries and has kids, I will love him for a lifetime, never forget—this love is deeply rooted; it is a heartfelt love that can’t be erased by anything. Perhaps time will prove everything, but time is also a liar!"

"How uncomfortable I make myself, never believe in time. Time only brings you pain, and is there no way? Is the pain in your heart something that numbs you again and again? It’s just so that you can live a life free from worries, but ultimately everything has turned into something else. All these consequences are because of my actions, and I can blame no one. My life is indeed unbearable!"

"Only after experiencing it yourself will you know how much you cared about those things when they left you, how unforgettable it was. No one can stand in your shoes to consider your problems, and no one can eternally show their true feelings to you."